Someone left me anon hate about Horuss on my Tumblr yesterday, which was very upsetting, but it was mindless hate, so I brushed it off. I hope no one's looking forward to this intermission, because I think about 85% of you are going to hate me (but if you hate Cronus, then good news, townspeople!). I had the intermission and the first hundred words or so of the actual act all banged out last night, so it was pretty easy to get the rest of it written this morning.

Many thanks to Bitblondetoday, Insert name here, CatastrophicAquarius, FanficFinatic2, SlytherinUnicorns, Soapdino, Fabylou55, and region-discontinued for your reviews to the last act!


INTERMISSION VI

Twenty hours later.

Eridan had left without saying goodbye to him, but he had a habit of doing that. He had more important things on his mind, like hanging out with his boyfriend and his friends on Halloween. Cronus didn't begrudge him that.

He slid his work shirt over his head, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. He had to start work in a twenty minutes, but that was plenty of time to get to the gas station, even if he walked (which he usually did). He wasn't in any rush to get there, either—on Halloween, small convenience stores and gas stations and grocery stores were filled with idiots in costumes reminding him that he wasn't dressing up or going trick-or-treating this year, and yeah, he was twenty-three and probably too old for things like that, but Eridan was twenty and going to have a blast with his friends tonight. He was a little jealous of him for being able to do something like that.

The worst part was, he'd volunteered for this shift so Damara wouldn't have to work tonight. He could have told her no, but he'd agreed to switch with her so she could hang out with her sister. It's okay, he told himself. Just seven hours of this and it'll be over. By one-forty-five, he would be passed out at home in his own bed. He just had to keep himself awake in the meantime.

Fortunately, he had access to a nigh-unlimited supply of caffeine and 5 Hour Energy shots. That would be enough to prevent him from falling asleep. Maybe his brain would fall asleep, but he'd be physically wide-awake.

He arrived at the gas station, downed a grape-flavored energy shot, and took over for Mick behind the counter. Mick gave him a wave and left, leaving Cronus utterly alone in the store save Laurie, who was working in the back and would take over behind the register only for his breaks.

He settled back against the wall, staring out at the inventory. He wouldn't have to start restocking anything until ten or ten-thirty, and that was hours away. He couldn't listen to his iPod even though there was no one here, he couldn't check his phone even though there was no one here, and he couldn't even write on a couple sheets of notebook paper.

It was so stupid, he hadn't even been able to tell Sollux when the kid had asked him, but he wanted to be a novelist. He tended to scribble bits and pieces of stories on scraps of paper throughout his day, but nothing cohesive, and he couldn't write at work unless he was on his break. It was embarrassing, but it was his true passion.

So he waited for some customer to walk in and interrupt the monotony that was undoubtedly the rest of his work day, all the while waiting for his 5 Hour Energy shot to kick in and trying not to fall asleep behind the counter.

It didn't make sense for him to be this tired right now—it was only a little after six right now—but he was. Maybe it was because he hadn't gotten to sleep until almost four in the morning, and even then, he only slept until nine. He'd been utterly unable to fall asleep after that, too, no matter how he tried. For some reason, his body just wasn't having it.

He needed to switch back to the day shift before he lost his fucking mind.

Someone came in about twenty minutes later and bought forty dollars' worth of gas. He stuck that in his register, rang up the guy on pump six, and went back to his regularly-scheduled boredom. About a half an hour later, a small group of teens wandered in and browsed the racks for a solid ten minutes before the oldest-looking of the bunch attempted to buy a pack of cigarettes. He barely looked fifteen, though, so Cronus asked to see his ID.

"Uh, I left it in my car," the kid said after patting down his pockets.

"I can wait," Cronus said pleasantly, idly tapping the cigarettes against the counter.

The kids all exchanged nervous glances.

"Or," Cronus went on, just as pleasantly, "you can leave an' I can pretend you were never here. Technically, I never saw your ID, so I don't have proof you're under eighteen, so I can't actually call the cops an' tell 'em minors attempted to purchase tobacco products. How's that sound?"

It must have sounded pretty damn good because they beat it out of there in a hurry, leaving Cronus alone again.

He put the cigarettes back on the shelf, stared at them for a few moments, and sighed. With both Meenah and Eridan harping on him about quitting smoking, he'd finally decided to do it, but it was tough going when you worked at a gas station and could actually have a steady supply of nicotine to you every day. He supposed he could have used a nicotine patch or even one of those electronic cigarettes, but he was more of the "quit cold turkey" kind of guy. His stupid pride wouldn't allow him any kind of assistance, so he'd taken to staring at the shelves like they were a supermodel and hoping he wasn't drooling.

It was worse right now since he was bored out of his mind and all he could think about was that smoking would give him something to focus on beyond his own boredom. He needed to be able to do something at work—this no-customers, no-distractions thing was getting kind of old.

He wondered what Eridan was doing right now, if he was having fun with his friends, if he'd gotten any candy yet, but mostly he wondered who would be getting home first: Eridan or him. Either seemed likely—Cronus supposed his brother could very well opt to sleep at Sollux's place tonight. It would certainly be a welcome relief from Monday and Tuesday nights. All he knew was, if he got home tonight and he heard moaning from Eridan's room, he would throw the unholiest and unmanliest of bitch-fits.

The bell over the door jingled, drawing Cronus out of himself, and he scanned the store to see two guys roaming the aisles with long jackets and masks on, one a monkey head, and the other a wolf head. Jesus fucking Christ. Herein lay the reason he didn't like Halloween—people in masks coming into stores and forgetting they had masks on. "Hey, cats, Halloween's cool an' all, but I need you to take off your masks while you're in the store."

The one in the monkey mask drew up to the counter without removing his disguise. Cronus opened his mouth to warn him again, but then the guy pulled a handgun out of his jacket and leveled it at Cronus's head. "Shut the fuck up," the guy spat as his partner went around to the side and withdrew a sawed-off shotgun. He also aimed right at Cronus's head, and for a few seconds, all Cronus could do was wonder what his brains would look like splattered against the wall behind him. For some reason, the sudden thought that he might actually die tonight was hysterical, and he fought not to laugh. He was sure it would come out sounding insane, especially considering the circumstances. No one but him would laugh with two guns to his head.

He hoped Laurie would have sense enough to stay in the back room and call the police.

"Empty out the fucking register! Slowly!" the guy in the wolf mask barked.

"Don't even fucking think about hitting that button for the cops, either!" Monkey Man added.

"There's not—" he started, but Monkey Man cut him off.

"Shut the fuck up! Listen to the man—empty the fucking register!" He flung a burlap bag at Cronus and he caught it easily, realizing too late that he could have missed it, let it fall to the floor, and surreptitiously called for the police on his way up. Too late now, though.

Just as Wolf Man instructed, Cronus slowly entered his employee ID number to pop open the register. The instructions for an event like this was to just give the robbers what they wanted as quickly as possible, only calling for the cops after the robbers left unless you could call them earlier without endangering yourself or anyone else in the store. The point was that monetary loss could be handled, but the loss of life was to be prevented at all costs. He supposed that was a noble endeavor, but right now, the only one in any immediate danger was him.

"What the fuck are you doing? Faster!" Wolf Man ordered.

"You said—"

"Shut the fuck up and do what he says! Do you wanna fucking die tonight?"

He knew it was a rhetorical question, but his inner smartass would not be contained. "My dead grandmother did invite me over for tea, actually," he joked, earning himself a smack in the side of the head with the butt of Monkey Man's handgun. He knew he needed to tone down the sarcasm—he'd always suspected that it might one day get him killed—but he was too busy trying not to laugh. He'd just gotten pistol-whipped. That wasn't something just anyone could say. Even as he felt the blood trickling from his left temple, he couldn't help but think that, if he did manage to survive this, it would make one Hell of a story. Mom and Dad are gonna flip the fuck out, though.

Why couldn't he summon any fear? Wasn't he supposed to be terrified at the prospect of dying? Why did that thought fill him not with fear but with acceptance? If I die, I die, and there's nothing I can do about it. It was gonna happen eventually, so why fight it? Part of him would probably wish he'd gotten to say goodbye to his parents and to Eridan, to tell Sollux to take care of his idiot little brother, to tell Meenah that he loved her one last time, but there would be nothing he could do to change his fate if either of these assholes decided to pull the trigger.

He moved a little faster to pop open the till. It opened with a ding and he started digging out the seventy-some dollars and God knew how much change. He tossed it in the burlap bag they'd given him and pushed the till closed, handing the bag back to Monkey Man over the counter.

"What the fuck, that's it?"

"I tried to tell you," Cronus said. "There's not a lot in there."

"Throw in your fucking wallet, too," Wolf Man said suddenly.

He always had at least two hundred dollars on him at all times. It wasn't for any particular reason—most people carried twenties in case of emergencies, but he had two hundred. Right now, since he was planning on picking something up for Meenah tomorrow, he had over five hundred dollars on him, and there was no way in Hell these assclowns were getting their hands on his money.

"What? Looks like there's a lot in there," Wolf Man said by way of explanation. Monkey Man had cocked his head to the side as if in confusion.

"You lookin' at my ass, buddy? Sorry to disappoint you, but I already got a girl, an' I'm one of those 'one at a time' kinda guys."

Monkey Man struck him again, and a fresh cut opened up on the side of his head. It felt like a mere half an inch below the other one.

An idea hit him at the same time as Monkey Man's gun, and he crumpled to the floor. He let out an exaggerated groan and groped for the counter, using it to pull himself to his feet. As he did so, he subtly pushed the police call button with his thumb. "Owwie. Jesus, cat, that hurt," he said, rubbing at his temple with his free hand.

"He hit the button," Wolf Man observed. At his angle to Cronus, he knew the guy would be able to see it, but he was beyond caring. He'd been pistol-whipped twice in five minutes and they wanted to not only rob the store, but rob him. He was exhausted and hysterical and he'd reached the end of his rope.

"Shit!" Monkey Man said. Already, there was the faint sound of sirens approaching, and Cronus prayed they were actually coming for the store and not somewhere else. "They're gonna be here soon!"

"Then take the fucking cash and let's go!"

Monkey Man decided this was the right course of action to take because he snatched up the bag with seventy whole dollars in it and started to follow Wolf Man out of the store.

"Hope it was worth it!" Cronus called after him.

He ended up regretting it, though, because on his way out, Monkey Man paused, aimed, and fired, and everything went dark.

END INTERMISSION VI.


ACT 61

Twelve hours earlier.

Eridan sprinkled more fish flakes into the fish tank before he headed to the kitchen for his usual morning pot of coffee. There were no sounds coming from his brother's room, so he figured Cro had been working late (which made sense, considering he hadn't come home until ten) and was now sleeping peacefully. He certainly didn't want to disturb that, so he left him alone, finished off his coffee, made another half a pot, dumped it into his Thermos and left. He had his costume in a garment bag along with his backpack, and when he got to his car, he lay his garment bag in his trunk. He'd probably change into it after school unless he was feeling really nerdy and decided to put it on during lunch. That would be a sure way to embarrass Sol—then again, the kid was going as a fucking bee for Halloween, so he probably had a thick skin, at least when it came to stuff like that.

When he got to the cafeteria building to relax for a few minutes before his class (and also to restock on the coffee he'd drunk on the way over), he caught sight of the table Aradia, Nepeta, and Equius were sitting at. It was actually pretty obvious it was them too, since every single one of them was already wearing their costume. Nepeta was dressed as a lion, with a huge, fairly-impressive mane. She seemed to have taken her costume to heart, too, since she'd curled up basically on the table and fallen asleep. Equius had on a horse costume, although his was less impressive than Nepeta's lion costume. When Eridan looked at him, he was forcibly reminded of the phrase "horse cock," and he almost shuddered. That really wasn't what he wanted to think about at eight-thirty in the morning.

Aradia, for some unfathomable reason, was dressed like a ram. His only indication that she was a ram were the huge, spiraling horns on her head, coming out from her hair and wrapping around toward the back, and the fact that she was attempting to headbutt Equius in the shoulder. He either didn't notice or chose to ignore her, although the small smile on his face seemed to indicate the latter.

Eridan shook his head, smiling to himself, and went to the coffee. He'd been hoping he could make it there with enough time to talk to Fef before her first class, but it had started at eight-thirty, so he'd missed her. He was actually fairly upset about this, because he hadn't really had the chance to talk to her yesterday, either. There would probably be time during lunch, though. Speaking of which...

Might as well get it sorted out now. Once he'd filled up his Thermos again, he sent a text message to Fef. hey wwanna havve lunch today? missed you yesterday

Her response came sooner than he expected. S)(ore! Sorry about yesterday, too, I was splashing around wit)( Dave.

Well, that was unexpected. somefin goin on wwith you twwo?

Maybe, we'll sea!

Considering that just one week before, he'd been convinced he had a crush on her, he was surprisingly okay with this turn of events. Of course, the realization that he didn't actually like her like that probably helped, too.

He waved at Aradia and Equius as he left the cafeteria area and headed off to his first class.


Jade was a little nervous about meeting Vriska's family, especially Aranea, mostly because she seemed so hesitant to talk about them. Still, when she showed up to Vriska's house that evening dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West but with the Wicked Witch of the East's tights and ruby-red shoes, she had a smile on her face.

Vriska hadn't been at school at all that day, but Jade had texted her throughout most of the morning, so she knew they were still on for dinner and trick-or-treating. She showed up around three-thirty, well before even the youngest of trick-or-treaters, so she knew she wouldn't be mistaken for one when she rang the bell. Besides, Vriska answered, clad in her Spiderwoman costume except without a mask. "Hey!" she said excitedly, tugging Jade through the door.

Jade looked around. The front room had already changed since the last time she'd been here—it was now filled with Halloween decorations, although a few of the decorations in the back corner seemed to deviate from the black-and-orange theme with white and blue and yellow. She didn't have a chance to inspect further because Vriska still had a firm grip on her arm and was pulling her toward the kitchen.

"Hey, Mom?" Vriska asked, peering around the corner. "My friend Jade is here."

Jade was finally able to look in the kitchen as Vriska let go of her. Pulling a tray of chicken wings out from the oven was a tall woman with dark hair who was clearly Vriska's mother. Mrs. Serket gave her a warm smile.

"Hi, Jade, you can just call me Kali, okay?"

Jade nodded. "It's nice to meet you. Thanks for having me over."

"No problem at all! Vriska hardly ever brings any friends of hers home," she added with a meaningful look at her daughter.

"There's a reason for that," Vriska sing-songed as she walked away, and Jade quickly followed her. "And her name is Aranea," she added under her breath.

"Sorry?" Jade asked.

"The reason I don't bring friends over. It's Aranea," she said, keeping her voice low with a nervous glance to the kitchen.

"What, your mom doesn't know about that?"

"If you mean she has no idea what a total cunt my sister can be, no, she doesn't. I don't feel like being the one to clue her in, though."

As if on cue, Aranea emerged from a room down the hall and looked out at them. "Who's this?" she asked, looking over Jade as if trying to dissect her.

"This is Jade. Be nice."

"Friend of yours?" she asked suspiciously.

"So what if she is?"

Aranea shot Jade a glare, and Jade got the distinct feeling that if she could have dropped the house on her, she would have. "Whatever. It's your life." Aranea retreated back into her room and the door slammed behind her.

"Wow. That was..."

"I know," Vriska said apologetically. "She... I don't know, she doesn't like people all that much."

"Oh." Jade felt awkward for a moment until she heard Vriska's mom call, "Dinner's ready!"

Aranea reemerged from her room and the four of them sat down to delicious pizza and wings. Jade flat-out expected Aranea to glare at her all evening and make snide remarks to her, but as if she were a completely different person, she was nothing but sweet as Halloween candy.

Don't 8e fooled 8y Aranea's fake niceness. It's all an act, came Vriska's text message.

Why is she so mean, though?

I don't really know. She just really doesn't like people, I guess.

Jade actually kind of felt bad for Aranea now. What had happened to her to make her this cold?

"I know you girls probably want to get on with trick-or-treating, but will you at least stay for cake and ice cream?" Vriska's mom asked.

"Cake and ice cream?" Jade asked. "Another Halloween tradition?"

Across the table, Aranea rolled her eyes. Vriska's mom didn't see her and just laughed. "No, no, for Vriska's birthday!"

Jade whirled to face Vriska. "You never told me it was your birthday!" That must have been what the strangely-colored decorations were in the corner—birthday decorations. She felt like an idiot.

"I know," she said, looking apologetic. "I didn't want you to think you had to get me a present or something."

That wasn't the point. You were supposed to tell your friends stuff like that. "You still could have told me."

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say, because Vriska murmured, "Sorry," and looked as though Jade had just told her she was a horrible person.

"It's okay," Jade said quickly, instinctively throwing her arms around Vriska in an awkward side hug. After a moment, Vriska returned her hug.

"Okay," she said, sounding less upset than moments before. "Um, yeah, we're staying for cake and ice cream," she added to her mom.

After the obligatory singing of "Happy Birthday to You" and cake and ice cream (Vriska later informed her that they opened birthday presents at breakfast anyway, since they'd waited all year for their birthdays and it didn't make sense to wait until dinner and dessert), Vriska put on her Spiderwoman mask and she and Jade grabbed two pillowcases and dashed out of the house.

"Keep your phones on you!" Vriska's mom called after them as they left, and Vriska waved in acknowledgment.

"Holy crap, I'm glad that's over with," Vriska laughed.

"Why? I mean, yeah, Aranea seems like kind of a bitch, but..."

"Yeah, and that's exactly why. This way," she added, looking left and right and finally opting to go right. "She, um... I don't think she likes me having friends?"

"But that doesn't make any sense."

"It does if you think about it. She... it's a long story," Vriska sighed. "I'll tell you later."

So for the next four hours, the two of them wandered up and down the streets of Vriska's neighborhood, collecting huge candy bars from the neighbors before finally settling on one of the medians running between the two sides of the street. Jade's stomach was starting to hurt from all the food she'd already eaten, but that 3 Musketeers bar looked really good...

"Hey, are you gonna eat those Nerds?" Vriska asked. "I'll trade you the Whoppers for them."

Jade fished out as many boxes of Nerds as she could find. "I'll give you the Nerds for your peanut M&Ms."

"Done." Vriska buried her head in her bag of candy and pulled out a half a dozen regular-sized bags of peanut M&Ms. "Here, I got an idea. Any candy you don't want, put in front of you, and I'll do the same, and then we can trade that way."

That was a pretty good suggestion, so Jade rifled through her candy until she'd separated all her Laffy Taffy, Dum-Dum suckers, and plain Hershey's Chocolate and set them in front of her.

"Oh, man, you don't want these?" Vriska said excitedly, picking up the chocolate bars.

"Nah, I can't do pure chocolate. It makes me a little nauseous. I'll trade you for those bags of chips." Some sodium would probably settle her stomach a little, although the additional grease that came with it might negate the effects.

"You're completely insane, but I like it," Vriska laughed, tossing the snack bags of Lay's Chips at her.

"What about those Milky Ways? I'll take those."

"What else you got in that bag you want to part with? It better be good."

"100 Grand?"

"Done." Vriska already had one of the Hershey bars shoved in her mouth. Jade had no idea how she could eat it after they'd had all that cake and ice cream, but more power to her for being able to manage it. In the meantime, she tore open one of the bags of barbecue chips that Vriska had just tossed at her and settled back against the tree they were sitting in front of.

"This was a lot of fun."

Vriska nodded, starting to load her pillowcase back up. "It needs to be Halloween every day," she agreed.

"So it can be your birthday every day?" Jade teased.

"It wouldn't hurt," Vriska laughed. "But I had fun, too. Something about Halloween is just awesome."

"Plus, there's the candy."

"All the candy. All of it."

They dissolved into fits of sugar-induced giggles and, again, Jade wondered how anyone could possibly hate Vriska Serket.

END ACT 61.


Omg. Yeah. I kind of went a little bit insane with the intermission. Cronus's reaction to having guns pointed at him is basically my reaction as well.

In which the plot revs back up.