August 16, 1992

Lorna took a deep breath and tried to keep from crying. Her eyes were watering, even though she was fighting it. Alex had just given her the news about Terry over the phone. It didn't seem real that she would probably never speak again. She tried to tell herself that things could have been worse, but all she could think about was the vibrant woman that Terry was being abruptly silenced.

Her heart burned. Sinister was loose and his minions had injured Terry permanently. Although it sounded absent-minded, Lorna had forgotten about Sinister. So much had happened in her life after they had fought him, and he had been filed away. They had contained him.

Now he was back, like a recurring nightmare. He had hurt Carly and Sharon, and now he had hurt Terry too. Lorna wished she could see her friend, but she knew she would have to wait. SHIELD was very secretive.

She hoped that they would let up soon. Terry needed people around her, especially after what Alex had told her about Terry's boyfriend. She had never met Deadpool, or Wade as Terry called him, but Terry'd had faith in him. She'd told Lorna that she loved him, that she knew that he was a good man despite everything.

Terry had always stood up for him. Lorna couldn't believe that he would just leave her after everything. She was tempted to find him and drag him to Terry, if for nothing else than to have him explain himself.

"Mom?"

Lorna quickly wiped her eyes and turned around. Max was standing in the doorway. She forced herself to smile. He didn't know any of it yet. As far as he knew Terry was still working her old job, dating her psychotic boyfriend, and living fairly happily. Lorna envied him that.

She would have to tell him eventually. She would have to tell them all what Alex had told her. Charles and Moira already knew about Terry's initial injury, but they didn't know about this new news.

"Hey, didn't hear you there," she said.

"Are you okay?" Max asked.

She clenched her teeth and continued to smile. Lorna would have to tell him later about Terry. She couldn't do it now. Charles and Moira should know first, and they would figure out how to spread the word.

"I'm fine," she said, "You just surprised me. I thought that you'd be in class right now."

"We got out early," Max said.

He shifted his feet.

"I uh, I actually wanted to talk to you about something," he said.

Lorna tucked her hair behind her ear.

"What about?" she asked.

"Well...maybe you should sit down," Max said.

Lorna raised her eyebrows, but did as her son suggested. He sat across from her and fidgeted.

"I'm fifteen," he said.

"Trust me, I know," Lorna said.

Max smiled, but she could see his nerves bleeding into the expression. Lorna looked at her son critically. She had no idea what it was that he was going to ask her. Perhaps it was about girls. It wouldn't be Rogue: he'd continuously told Lorna that she was family to him.

Lorna had tried to treat the girl accordingly. She'd invited her out to dinner a few nights ago. Rogue had declined and Lorna had realized that Rogue was hesitant to leave the Institute. Lorna had instead ordered Chinese food and had it delivered. Rogue had looked gratefully at her. Logan had been invited too, the invitation extended through Rogue, but he'd declined.

She would have to figure out a way to include him. Rogue considered him family, and Max had taken Rogue into the fold. Lorna wished she'd had a little more warning about that, but she thought it was a good decision. Lorna had been an outsider once, looking at the X-men and wanting family.

Alex had become her family though. He'd proposed to her five months after she had become a permanent member of the Institute. Two months later she'd married him and officially changed her name, become part of a family who wanted her.

Max fidgeted and Lorna waited. It wasn't like her son to be so cagey with his words.

"Max?" she asked, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Max smiled a bit.

"I want to be an X-man," he said.

Lorna's eyes widened. Her heart rate increased and her mind began sparking in alarm. She tried not to let any of it show on her face.

"I know it's a lot of responsibility, but dad and you have taught me how to fight, so I have a strong basis," Max said, "My powers are a little unpredictable, but if I wear gloves then it's no more unpredictable than Uncle Scott's, and you've proved that it has a good combat application."

Max's grandfather had proved that it had a good combat application as well. Lorna could feel the pain starting up again and she struggled to stay seated.

"I need your permission, you and dad's," Max said, "I know Uncle Scott won't endorse me to the Professor unless you give me the go ahead and...well...I want you guys behind me on this."

His tone seemed to become more confident as he spoke. Lorna realized that he expected her approbation. It was almost as though, the more he thought about it, the more he decided that there was no reason to be nervous about his request. It wasn't as though he thought there would be any objections to what he was doing.

She wished there weren't.

"Max...I appreciate that you've thought about this before talking to me," Lorna said.

Max practically glowed.

"But I'm concerned that you haven't thought about this as much as you should," she said.

Her son blinked before his mouth set into a frown.

"Mom, I've been thinking about this for ages," he said.

"I know," Lorna said, "But there's a lot that you haven't thought of."

Her son's face darkened a little, and she could see the irritation there. Lorna paused, wanting him to understand. He couldn't go into this blindly. She looked around the room that she had shared with Alex when they lived there, a room that still held many of their things.

She sighed and got up. Lorna opened the wardrobe and dug around for a few minutes. She knew that her son was staring at her, still with that misunderstanding irritation in his eyes. He wanted to be like his parents, didn't understand why she wasn't excited for him.

Lorna pulled a small cloth bundle out from the wardrobe. She walked back to her seat and sat down, holding the bundle in her lap.

"Max, when I was eleven years old, I wanted to be like the people who had saved my life," Lorna said, "I thought that there was no other way to protect other mutants from losing people they love."

It was the only way that she could say it without explaining everything. Max had an idea that his grandmother had been killed by a mob while trying to protect Lorna. He didn't know that Lorna's father was Magneto. Lorna knew that, if it came to it, she would tell Max about his grandfather. They would have to tell him eventually. If he was going to be an X-man though, he needed to know.

She had to know if he was ready for that though. He was still so young, still saw the world in simple shades. Max had more insight than many others his age because of what Lorna had been, but it still might not have been enough.

"I know that mom-" Max began.

"Let me finish," Lorna said.

Max fell silent. Lorna unfolded the bundle of cloth. Inside were six knives. Azazel had given them to her to train and fight with when she was twelve. All of them were in perfect condition, sharp and ready for battle.

Lorna had gotten rid of all the trappings of her life as a member of the Brotherhood. There were things that she couldn't erase, her blood being one of them. Lorna had no wish to deny who she was, who her father was, a man she still hoped would come around. When she'd heard that he'd broken out of prison she'd felt her own brand of grief: it was just another opportunity missed between them.

The knives were another thing that she couldn't get rid of. Azazel had been an assassin, and a torturer, but he was also part of her past. He had helped raise her and had died when she still had so many questions. She couldn't bring herself to get rid of the knives with all of their different meanings.

She picked up a knife and unsheathed it. Lorna levitated it in the air over her fingers.

"I fought with these for several years," she said, "I was trained to use them by one of the Brotherhood's premier assassins as soon as I'd been taught some basic hand-to-hand combat."

Max stared at the knife. Lorna made it flip over and she grabbed it by the hilt. She still remembered how it felt to use them, how solid they felt in her hands.

"I know you know these aren't toys," she said, "But they aren't tools either. They're not meant to help or protect. They're meant to kill Max, and that's all they're for."

She let go of the knife and let it levitate in the air. Max watched, mesmerized. She sheathed it and then handed it, hilt first, to Max.

"Pick it up," Lorna said.

Max swallowed before grasping the knife. She could see that it was awkward for him. He hadn't been trained with them.

"I was taught that it didn't matter what the body count was as long as I kept myself and my teammates safe," she said, "They were just humans, just collateral, and they didn't matter."

She looked down at the knives in her lap. They brought back so many memories. If she concentrated she could still remember how they felt slotted into the holsters in her Kevlar vest.

"But then I learned that collateral was another word for lives that people don't care enough to save," Lorna said, "Your grandmother was collateral for someone Max, and I didn't see that until I was older."

She reached out and touched his gloved hand. Max looked up at her. She could see understanding start to dawn in his eyes, even if it was coming slowly. Lorna was glad. He had always been a smart boy.

"The X-men know that, and they take their responsibilities seriously," Lorna said, "But you are fighters, and in combat things happen."

She took a deep breath.

"If you become an X-man Max, you will have to kill someone at some point," she said, "You will have to take a life, but before you do that you will have to judge whether or not it's worth it. It's a burden that the Brotherhood never dealt with: they never have to because they believe in collateral. But it's different for the X-men."

Her son's eyes widened and Lorna moved her hand to his shoulder.

"Whatever you decide your father and I will always be proud of you," she said, "Think very, very hard before you talk to me again. And if you don't want to be an X-man, then there is nothing wrong with the path of peace. But if you still want to be an X-man..."

She swallowed, thinking of her father, of Max's grandfather.

"...then there's another conversation that we have to have," Lorna said, "But I want you to keep that knife with you while you make that decision. Just so you know what the difference is."

Max nodded slowly, turning the sheathed knife over and over in his hand.