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This one's for my friends

Chapter 14 —Orihime—

"Kisses"

My first kiss was when I was four years old. No, it wasn't with Ichigo. My first kiss had been my older brother, Sora. I didn't exactly remember how it was like. I always knew that my brother loved me so much. He'd kiss me every night before I slept. I vaguely remember the kisses but I knew those kisses were different. Those kisses were brotherly kisses, no lust or passion. just a pure platonic love from a brother to his sister. He'd stopped kissing me when I was six years I asked why he stopped kissing me he'd said, "That's not my job anymore,it's your prince's job..." He'd rubbed my head and laughed, later i knew he said that because he'd known about my crush for Ichigo. My brother'd never been really friendly to Ichigo but I knew he liked Ichigo. His last words to Ichigo... I never knew what had he said but I knew he made Ichigo promise something to him.

My real first kiss was when I was twelve years old. This time I did it with Ichigo. It was his first kiss too, he told me that later. That was a simple kiss, just a light peck on my lips and happened for less than two seconds. It wasn't much different than the way Sora'd kissed me. But somehow I felt this weird feeling I never felt before when Sora kissed me. He kissed me in front of everyone, we were playing bride and groom that day and when Tatsuki told him to kiss the bride I never expected him to really kiss me. the other kids were teasing us for two weeks and only stopped when he throw a table at them with a really red face. That day I couldn't sleep at all. I stay away whole night, touching my lips thinking, 'So this is how a prince's kiss feel like...'

We hadn't kissed anymore after that day until the day he finally officially asked me out few years later. We kissed many times since then but I finally got my first real kiss when I was seventeen, and when he kissed me like that I wondered why he'd never kissed me like that before. I felt something weird when he kissed me like that. I liked it. I knew he liked it too. But amongst all of those kisses I'd never expected this one.

When I slowly opened my eyes the first thing I saw was a pair of familiar brown eyes. He was so close to me that I could feel his warm breath on my face. I knew I wasn't dreaming. Somehow I just knew it.

It was real.

He kissed me.

I blinked my eyes rapidly to clear my thought.I didn't understand this. Why would Ichigo kissed me? Didn't he love Rukia? I didn't understand. I looked into his brown eyes, trying to find some answer. Why did he look like he was ready to cry? Why was he here?

Wait...

What had happened to me?

I frowned. Too many questions in my head.

He really kissed me.

I couldn't think anything right when suddenly he pulled my body into a tight hug. I tried to think but I failed. His manly scent made it hard for me to think. I could hear he whispered my name. His lips were too close to my ears, his hot breath made it even harder for me to remember my name. Maybe he was crying but I didn't understand.

Ah, I remembered it now.

I fainted.

I remembered that I'd fainted in the onsen. Somehow I could hear someone called my name before I lost my consciousness, who was that? Rukia? It must be her who brought me back to this room, but where was she now? I needed to thank her for that. I wondered, why was Ichigo here? Why was he... crying? Was he really crying? I mean, it wasn't the first time for him to see me fainted. Besides, why would he cry for someone like me? He supposed to hate me... I was the reason why he couldn't be with the one he loved right now...

I should make it right.

I sighed, first thing first.

"I'm alright, Ichigo-kun..." I closed my eyes and patted his back.

Honestly, I still felt really weak that I couldn't even fake a smile for him but since he couldn't see my face at the moment I think it's useless to fake a smile. Besides he would know if I fake it. I knew he worried about me and I didn't want to make him to worry about me. I feltunworthy, he shouldn't worry someone like me.

He pulled away a little to look at my face, "How do you feel?"

"Dizzy," I said truthfully with a low voice, no need to pretend to be cheerful since no one was here and Ichigo would know it if I pretended. Besides both of us knew very well about our relationship's crisis and I didn't want to pretend the other way. However I couldn't help not to blush when my stomach growled. I knew he could hear that very well, "...and hungry."

Ichigo chuckled, "I'll go getting our dinner. The Okami told me to let them know whenever you wake up, they already prepare the dinner for you. Maybe I'd go see them to heat the food for you." He said in a tender voice which was even much more tender than usual. I knew there was something in his mind but I chose not to ask him anything and let him to stand up and left me alone.

After Ichigo left the room I let myself fell back onto the futon.

That was hard. To be alone with him somehow wasn't easy. I had told myself that it was just about time to let him go. To set him free. What I needed is just to tell him that it was okay for me now if he wanted to be with Rukia. I just needed to tell him that but I wasn't ready yet. Precisely, I didn't know how to tell him that without crying.

I'm such a baby.

Always cry and cry.

I closed my eyes and immediately I felt something hot. I was going to cry. Oh how I hate myself. I was too weak. And my weakness had put that sorrowful look into his eyes.

I put my somehow cold palm on my closed eyes.

Ichigo kissed me.

I used my other hand to touch my lips. Yup, he really kissed me. But why?

It had been a year since he wanted to break up with me. It had been a year and never once since then we talked about that day. he always treated me nice since that day, but he never kissed me. It had been so long and suddenly he kissed me just now. Why?

He didn't love me. I heard him told Rukia he didn't love me.

Now that I think about it, he hadn't kissed me at all since that day with Azen. It'd been two years then. He hadn't touched me for two years. Had he stopped loving me since that day? Was that the real reason why he'd chose Rukia over me? Because of what I had done two years ago? Today when I saw the way he looked at Ulquiorra I knew that he hadn'tforgiven him for everything happened two years ago.

Maybe he hadn't forgiven me as well.

I know he had every right to hate me.

I was so weak and only I hadn't let Aizen to use me, Ichigo wouldn't have to be 'that thing he hated most'. If only I could protect myself better.

Ichigo must hate me.

But it still didn't explain why he'd kissed me just now.

I heard someone slid the door open.

"You okay?"

That wasn't Ichigo's voice.

I opened my eyes even though I'd known who was that. A pair of green eyes looked into mine.

I nodded and let him to sit next to my futon without saying anything.I frowned when I realized he was soaked.

"You're wet."

"I didn't use umbrella."

"You'll get sick."

"I won't"

I bit my lip. He was looking back at me. His dark hair was wet and it made it looked longer than it actually was. His pale face was paler than usual. I wonder if he was as cold as he looked like. I couldn't help myself, when I realized it my hand already reached out to touch him. I touched his face with the tip of my finger. He looked a little surprised but he didn't say anything and let me touched him.

"You're cold."

He didn't say anything.

He used his hand to grab my hand. Even his hand was cold.

"I'm sorry."

I didn't understand why did he apologize to me.

Before I could say anything suddenly I felt something cold on my lips.

-TBC-

Author's Note.

Do you feel the same way with me? Lately I kinda scared to read any new Ichihime fanfiction since lately some IchiRuki's fans have been really tricky and post some fics under IchiHime tag. I have to read the review first before I read the fics. I never hate RUkia but I can't stand reading IchiRUki's fic. That's why I'm so scared lately whenever new fic is coming.

By the way, I have new IchiHime fic called "Love Story", I have decided to make it a multichapter fic. Whoever want to be my BETA for that fic,let me know. :) I would finish its second chapter soon. So let me know if you are interested.

Ah one more thing, I'd just joined FLOL this IchiHime's lover community. If you're one of the members I hope we can be friend there if you aren't a member yet, why not join?

Recchinon.