August 18, 1992
Max sat on the porch, his movements fidgety. Rogue leaned against the doorway, looking at him and smiling. She hadn't seen him this excited since his mother had come to the Institute. This time his sister and aunt were coming, their delayed flight finally taking off.
His father was still delayed, and she knew that Max was worried about that, but he was also happy about his aunt and sister. Rogue was curious about meeting them too. Max had told her a lot of stories about Luna and his Aunt Angel, the woman who had once been a Brotherhood assassin.
He seemed to have such a strange, fascinating family, a family that he insisted was Rogue's too now. She didn't quite believe him, but she couldn't argue with him. Not when he fixed her with that earnest expression.
In some ways Max seemed older than her. His understanding of the world left her floored sometimes, but when his childish eagerness showed through he made Rogue think of the kid brother she'd never had.
It had hurt to see him in pain. He had never told her the details about what his mother had told him, but she'd seen enough afterwards to know he'd been deeply affected. David had driven the point home, and she couldn't help but feel sorry for Max. It was obvious that he was deep in thought, and for some reason he kept touching his coat pocket.
"Whatcha waitin for chere?"
Rogue didn't turn around as Remy approached. She tensed though, and she wished that she could stop herself. Bobby had given her some odd looks lately, and she knew why. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't that there was anything wrong with him. He was plain and direct, and above all he was kind.
He wasn't adventure and challenge though. Remy provided all of these things, but Rogue wasn't dumb enough to fall for that. She had seen enough girls at her old high school fall for the bad boys to know how that ended up.
It left her in an odd place.
"Max's aunt and sister are coming," she said.
"Ah, more Summers," Remy said, "Just what dis place be needin."
Rogue laughed and ducked her head.
"Angel isn't a Summers," she said.
"She be close enough," Remy said.
"She is close enough."
Remy winced. Lorna gently pushed him aside as she came out to the front.
"She'd love that you said that," Lorna said.
She gave Rogue a soft smile before walking out to join her son. Lorna put a hand on Max's shoulder. He looked up at once. Rogue could see the concern flicker in his face, the same momentary concern that she felt every time someone touched her. It didn't matter that there were layers of cloth between her and the person: there was still that fear.
The concern faded from his face and he grinned. Lorna sat down next to him. They looked so perfect together, a perfect family that Max wanted Rogue to be part of. She took a deep breath. It was hard to believe that she would be invited to join something like that. She still felt like such an outsider sometimes at the Institute.
"Whatcha thinkin chere?" Remy asked.
Rogue debated telling him. As she did a car pulled up. The car had barely stopped before the passenger's door opened. A little girl with her hair in braids burst out of the car door, her feet pounding the pavement.
She knew at once that this was Luna. It wasn't just the fact that there was no one else she could be, but she looked very much like Lorna. Her face was soft where her mother's was sharp though. In a few years Rogue wondered if those looks would be sharpened as the baby fat melted away.
Luna launched herself into her brother's arms. For a minute the concern on his face turned into terror. He'd poisoned his sister in the past. Then the look relaxed and he hugged her back. Luna smiled at him before hugging her mother.
A slender Hispanic woman got out from the driver's side of the car. Her hair was cropped short and she looked tired. Angel. Angel waved cheerfully at Max and smiled at Lorna. Rogue thought about what Max had told her about Angel, how her care for Lorna had turned her into family.
Angel joined them and there were more hugs. It was complete now, all except for Max's father. She had no doubt that he would smile and look at his family as though they were his world too.
Rogue tightened her grip on the doorway. She thought of Max's invitation with an aching heart. More than anything, she wished she had been born into that family.
"It makes ya want it somethin fierce, don't it?"
She looked at Remy out of the corner of her eye. To her surprise his face was understanding.
"Do ya not...not...?" she tried.
Remy laughed and shook his head.
"Last time Remy saw his brother he tried ta kill Remy," he said.
Rogue stared at him. Remy put his hands into his pockets, his expression quietly accepting.
"Remy knows how it is ta see somethin and want it," Remy said, "It were a while ago, but I remember."
He smiled to himself and then turned away.
"Who... who did you envy?" Rogue said.
She barely managed to get her question out when Remy turned to look at her. It was difficult to talk when Remy fixed her with his black and red eyes, that strange understanding still there.
"The Xaviers," he said.
Rogue frowned. She hadn't seen much of them as a family, so she supposed that she couldn't make a good judgement, but it still seemed strange.
"Why them?" she asked.
Remy grinned.
"Because David and Kurt take care of each other," he said.
"So keep tight, and for the love of God, don't do anything stupid."
Kurt winced and shifted the phone. His brother's tone held no condemnation, only a strange amount of amusement and exasperation. At the same time Kurt couldn't help feeling embarrassed. He'd realized what he was doing was silly the moment he'd arrived at Amanda's trailer and half collapsed.
He'd forgotten just how difficult it had been to get everyone to New York, and he'd done that with hour-long stops every four teleportations. At the time he'd thought of them as breaks for the people who were unused to the sulfur, but he'd forgotten that he needed to rest too.
"I won't," Kurt said.
"Alright," David said.
David paused.
"Kurt...for what it's worth...I understand," David said.
Kurt's eyes widened. He sat up.
"You do?" he asked.
He knew just how desperate his voice sounded. He'd hesitated to call his brother at first, feeling silly at what he'd done, feeling like everyone else would think that he was silly too. Up until that point, nothing his brother had said had convinced him that he felt otherwise.
"I really, really do," David said.
Kurt grinned. It was easy to figure out.
"She said yes?"
"Yes," David said.
He chuckled on the other end.
"You know, mom and dad might understand too after they get finished yelling at you for being dumb," David said.
Kurt ran a hand through his hair.
"I think that I'll think on that one for a while," he said.
"Suit yourself," David said, "See you soon."
"See you."
Kurt hung up. He placed the phone on Amanda's bedstand and leaned back. He still felt like he had a headache. Amanda walked in and shook her head at him before sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Feeling better?" she asked.
"Now, yes," Kurt grinned.
She smiled and laid down next to him. Amanda put her hands on his chest and rested her head on top of them. Kurt flushed, but he still reached out and touched her hair. She closed her eyes.
He let his hand wander down to her face. Amanda opened one eye, her expression lazy.
"Careful," she said, "You know what my brother thinks of you staying in here with me."
Kurt felt his face heat up even more. Stefan had made it quite clear that he was suspicious of Kurt's presence in his sister's trailer. Amanda had angrily pointed out the fact that she had a fold out cot, although for the past nights she had ended up snuggled next to him. It was intimate, although there wasn't anything for Stefan to be concerned about.
Amanda sat up and gestured to the telephone.
"But I guess that your brother's coming to take you away," she said.
"He has to," Kurt said, "Either that or I explain to my parents that I basically ran away to Boston."
Amanda nodded. She grasped his hand.
"I'll miss you," she said, "You just got here."
"I know," Kurt said, "And I haven't been feeling so great since I got here."
"Yeah," Amanda said.
She moved her five fingers so they could be laced through Kurt's three.
"I'm just going to miss you more after this," she said.
Kurt pulled her hand so it rested over his heart.
"Me too," he said.
He swallowed, feeling nervous.
"I haven't told my parents about you," he said.
Amanda looked at him, surprise in her eyes. Kurt could see hurt there too, and suddenly realized how his words could be taken. She had introduced him to her family after all. Why hadn't he told his parents?
"You're my first," he blurted, "My first girlfriend I mean. I don't know..."
Amanda cocked her head and Kurt swallowed.
"I um...I'm not used to knowing what to do with this," he said, "And I know, my parents, I just...I wanted to introduce you to my brother first and, after that, everything was so confused..."
He trailed off.
"I'm sorry," he finished.
Amanda laughed softly, but Kurt saw something in her expression, something tense.
"You really care about your brother's opinion, don't you?" she asked.
"David's my best friend," Kurt said, "People like to talk about animosity between brothers and all that but with David...all I can remember is him taking care of me, being my friend. When I found out I was adopted he was the one who showed me it didn't matter."
The words were clunky in his throat. Kurt didn't like to think about being adopted. Some part of him seemed to whisper that, if he just ignored it, it would go away. He had told Amanda about it long ago though. It felt like it was something that you shared, especially when you told the other person in the relationship that you loved them.
"He was always the strong one," Kurt said.
"And if he hadn't liked me?" Amanda asked.
Kurt pushed himself up, frowning.
"I'd have been upset," he said, "But it wouldn't have changed anything."
Amanda smiled, but the expression was too quick.
"Amanda, what's wrong?" Kurt asked.
She sighed and pushed some hair out of he face.
"Kurt, I'm a circus performer," she said, "I was only toying with the idea of college before you met me, and the more I learn about you the more I wonder how on earth we ever met, let alone ended up dating."
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked.
"You come from a good family, lots of old money, your brother's going to be a lawyer, expensive, important things," Amanda said.
Her voice was an angry mumble. A thought struck Kurt and his eyes widened.
"Amanda, I'm not ashamed of you," Kurt said.
Amanda shook her head.
"I know you're not," she said, "But sometimes it feels like we're different, that there are things that I won't understand-"
Kurt put a hand on her shoulder. Amanda stopped and looked at him. Kurt wanted to tell her that she was right. There were things she didn't know, like about the X-men, the attack on his brother when they were younger, countless secrets that had never seemed important before now.
They weren't his secrets to tell though: he wasn't even an X-man. He struggled to keep the syllables down. Amanda sighed in the silence after his touch.
"It's stupid, I know," she said.
He forced the words away and smiled.
"And I'm going to get called a fair amount of things for coming down here," Kurt said, "It's not important Amanda. Not when we know better."
Amanda smiled and cupped his face with her hands.
"I don't want you to go," she said, "I don't know if I can let you."
Kurt reached up and pulled her into his arms. His tail wrapped around her waist and, for a moment, all he could see was the light glinting off her hair.
"We don't have too much time," Kurt said, "I'm sorry about that."
"Life, you know?" Amanda said.
Kurt kissed her forehead.
"But...do you want to go out?" he said, "I'm definitely well enough for that."
Amanda looked up at him and smiled.
"Milkshakes?" she asked.
"Milkshakes," Kurt agreed.
