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Chapter 18 —Orihime—

"Hatred"

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When my parents were dead, I felt nothing. I was too small at the time and I was not closed (or even loved) by my parents so when they died, I felt nothing. My brother wasn't cry either when our parents died. He hated them because they didn't love me. I didn't hate them, I just couldn't love them.

When Masaki-san died, I didn't understand what Ichigo felt. He thought, no matter how people said it wasn't like that, he was the one who caused her death. He blamed himself. Of course that wasn't true. I was so young back then and I didn't know anything about relationship between parents and their kids, but I knew, Masaki-san loved Ichigo so much. She would not hate Ichigo for anything. She would be happy to be able to protect him.

I remembered that day. Though I wanted to forget it, I just couldn't.

I was there with my brother. He picked me up from school that day and Masaki-san picked Ichigo up. I got fever so Sora gave me a piggy back. I saw it. I rest my chin on Sora's shoulder. I was sleepy and my eyes was half closed when I saw Ichigo ran after a puppy that tried to cross the road. A car, an SUV, black car... Too fast. Sora was calling Ichigo's name, some people were screaming, Masaki-san ran toward her son, Ichigo stood there with the puppy in his hands, I opened my eyes... Everything happened before I could say anything.

It was really noisy.

Sora ran, with me on his back, to where people were gathering. The driver was quickly called an ambulance and in few minutes I could hear the sirens. It was too noisy. Sora put me down to call Isshin-san. Too many people I couldn't see anything.

Too many people, too many noises, I just wanted to see him.

And I saw him.

He sat there with the puppy still in his arms. He was red. I never saw him that red. His eyes were wide opened, not far from him, Masaki-san who was also covered by red sticky liquid laid on the road. I called her name but she didn't move.

This morning Ichigo wore white t-shirt to school, but now the white t-shirt was no longer white.


He blamed himself, but I knew it wasn't his fault. It was her instinct as a mother, that was what Sora told me. If there was something happened to Ichigo, Masaki-san would never be able to forgive herself. Masaki-san would never regret to give her life to her son.

He hid it from me but I knew it, he still couldn't forgive himself.

He blamed himself, and actually he was not the only one.

That man was scary.I never disliked someone but this man gave me goosebumps. He was handsome and he looked somewhat delicate but the look in his eyes was full of anger. He hated Ichigo. I knew it. I just knew it. The first time I saw him, I knew I would never forget the way he looked at Ichigo.

He tried to hit Ichigo but Isshin-san stopped him. Isshin-san was a great man. He was sad because his beloved wife passed away but he knew better than to blame his son.

Ichigo stood next to me the whole time. He said nothing. I said nothing. He hold my hand and I could feel how much he wanted to be strong.

I stood next to him when the man talked to him.

His hair was brown and he wore glasses. Behind those glasses his eyes were red.

He said something about revenge. Ichigo said nothing.

That day, I couldn't sleep at all.

That day was the first time I saw so much anger and hatred radiated from one person.


When I met that person once again. I almost didn't recognize him. It had been so many years and he looked different. He didn't wear his glasses anymore and he had different hair style, but the same amount of hatred and anger radiated from him.

He said he wanted him dead and he would use me to kill him.

I was scared.

This man was crazy.

This man had been controlled by his hatred. He was no longer human. I was scared because I knew he would really try to kill Ichigo and I didn't want him to do that.

His name was Sousuke Aizen.

He was a younger brother of Masaki Aizen.

Ichigo's uncle.


"I love Ulquiorra, Ichigo."

I looked at Tatsuki who was now pleading. She was sobbing. I never saw Tatsuki like this. She was always a strong woman. She would never cry and plead... Tatsuki was not a kind of girl who would let anyone see her soft side.

She loved Ulquiorra...

She never told me about this.

"Please, save him."

I looked at Ichigo. He gritted his teeth, trying not to meet Tatsuki eyes. I knew them too well. I knew Tatsuki was serious. If she said she loved Ulquiorra, then I believed her and I understood her feeling. I understood how it feels to love someone too deep that you didn't care about your pride anymore. This Tatsuki in front of me right now reminds me of myself that autumn when I threw away my pride and begged Ichigo not to leave me.

Ichigo was always a kind man. I knew, no matter how much he loved me, he wouldn't have heart to see his friend in trouble. I knew he always had this strong sense of justice, and this was one of the reasons why I loved him so much.

Renji sighed, "Ichigo, I think we need to go. That emo guy is good in fighting but you know how dangerous Aizen is."

Ichigo said nothing. He didn't even look at me.

"Ichigo," Rukia who stood next to Renji called him in a soft but stern voice, "you owe him once."

"I owe him nothing!" Ichigo snapped, he looked at Rukia and Renji, "I hate that guy and I have nothing to do with him!"

I looked at his face. He looked angry but I saw no hatred in his eyes. He was lying he didn't hate him. I smiled when I realized it. Ichigo, my Ichigo, the only man I love... He might say anything he wanted but his eyes were too honest, they couldn't lie.

I stood up cheerfully.

"Okay, let's go!"

"Eh?"

Everyone in the room looked at me. I just giggled when I saw their expression, for some reason, I became really happy. I just realized something important, the answer of the question I kept asking this whole time.

"H-hime.."

I smiled at Ichigo, "He kissed me once," I said quickly before Ichigo could say anything, "But!" He was frowning but he let me continue, I smiled wider, "To punch him, first you have to find him, right? Don't worry, we will help you."

"Orihime..."

I heard Rukia muttered my name.

I turned and smiled at the raven haired girl who was surprised by my sudden mood change. I knew it now. I didn't hate her. I never hated her. I knew it, she didn't hate me too. We had misunderstood each other the whole time and made everything complicated.

"You know," I knew they were looking at me curiously but I looked down, hiding my face under my bang, "there were many things we needed to talk. There were too many secrets between us. We tried not to hurt each other, we tried not to be selfish, but in the end, we just ended up hurting each other."

I sighed.

No one said anything so I continued, "We love each other, yet we hate each other. We confused our feelings, we misunderstood our feelings..." I tried not to sound lame, "I think we need to settle everything... But you know, to clear these up, we need everyone to be here. Ulquiorra too..."

"Hime..."

I smiled, "Because we are friends, aren't we?"

I looked at them one by one.

"We hurt each other," I said, "we fight, and we misunderstand each other..."

My eyes meet a pair of brown eyes.

"...But in the end, we still couldn't hate each other."


-chapter 19—Orihime— "Hatred" : end-

Author's Note:

Hey :)

Sorry that I took time to update. Sorry that this chapter is really short. :)

Thanks for reading Even Now even now (ok, not funny, I know...)

I don't know when would I update the next chapter but I will definitely finish this story so don't worry :D

Recchinon