Disclaimer: Standard applied

UNBETA'D

Chapter 22 —Ulquiorra—

"Decision"

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It was winter few years ago. I couldn't remember where I had been or what had happened to me but I was lying on the ground, covered by snow with shallow cuts all over my body. I couldn't remember the pain, or how cold it had been. Maybe I hadn't felt anything at the time, but I remember clearly the thought I had at the moment. I thought that I would die right then and there. This time would be really the end. After all of these years, finally, I am going to die. I didn't really care though. For me, dying might even be better than living in this shitty world. After all, there was nothing good left in this world for me. I had always been alone. I had no family and no friend, so even if I died right then and there, nobody would cry for me.

When I closed my eyes I was thinking, if I died right then, was there anything I would regret, but I found nothing. No regret at all. I didn't even remember what I had done every day until then.

I wasn't scared. I was ready.

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"You're not gonna die."

I opened my eyes slowly and I saw a pair of black leather shoes. I didn't recognized the expensive-looking shoes, neither the deep amused voice. Slowly I averted my eyes to see the man's face but the light, I couldn't remember whether it was the moon or the sun, or even the lamppost, blinded my eyes temporary. I couldn't see his face but his smile had been full of pride, confidence, and something I couldn't explain.

I didn't know who was that man but when he lent his hand to help me, I knew he had taken my life. I had died that day and he had given me a new life. If he were about to take it back one day, I wouldn't mind.

My life was all for Aizen-sama...

...until I met her.

She was like the sun. Sometime she shone too bright that I couldn't look at her. She was always smiling and being kind to me, talked to me as if we were old friends. I had been rude to her, shoved her away but she would come back, treating me as nice as before and smiled innocently. She was different. I would die for Aizen-sama, but that woman was the only person that could make me feel alive. Her smile, her eyes... I had never thought that one day I would actually feel something like this.

There were times when I forgot that I was supposed to feel nothing. That she was only a mere woman. A noisy woman with stupid smile.

"Where are we going?"

I didn't answered and kept walking. She followed behind me. She was so trusting like usual. I had been to use some force if she fought back, but she trusted me. She thought that I was her friend and she didn't have any doubt that I would do something bad to her. Something that might harm her. She really thought of me as a friend.

Too bad. I didn't want to be her friend.

Not her friend. Not a friend...

Aizen-sama wanted to use that woman. She was important for his plan. I knew, that by doing what he told me to, in the end, I wouldn't be able to stop my self from hurting her. I didn't want to see her cry but I couldn't deny him. I was fighting with my other self. Thinking that it would be better if I could take her and run away, far far away, to somewhere we could be alone. Just the two of us. Aizen-sama and that orange head could settled their own problem without involving her. I would take her far away...

Of course that had never happened.

I had betrayed Aizen-sama once by falling in love with the girl. I knew I shouldn't have fallen in love but it was impossible when she was so charming and beautiful. It was hard not to feel attracted to her, when she was someone that was totally an opposite of me. Though she had someone she loved already.

I was torn between crushing that man and made her mine or to stay away and watch her being happy with him... At that time, I might have taken the wrong decision. What I chose to do was none of the options I stated before. My decision was to betray her and hurt her...

...for Aizen-sama.


"Love?"

His brown eyes were colder than anyone's. His smile didn't reach his eyes as he looked away, pouring some more liquor into his glass. I was leaning on the wall, arms folded in front of my chest waiting for his further response. He walked toward the black sofa with a glass of liquor in his hand. His infamous smile was still plastered on his face. He took a sip of his drink before he chuckled. I was actually scared. Maybe it didn't show on my face but there was something twisted about this man. I knew how dangerous he really is after working for him for some years. He had some business with dangerous people but that was not the reason why I was so scared...

"Why do you ask?"

He was still smiling. His smile sent chill to my spine. I had met so many sick people but this man probably was the sickest among all of those people.

"Nothing," I pretended, "I just want to make sure if Kurosaki would really come to save the woman? Does he really love her?"

Aizen smirked, "he loves her, can't you see?"

"Love her enough to do anything in order to protect her?"

There was a moment of silence and somehow Aizen's smile at the time gave me goosebumps. It was no use for me to lie, or to pretend. He could see me through. His eyes were intimidating. I had a feeling that he knew what I was implying by asking the question but he said nothing about that. Something in his eyes told me that he knew that I was worried about the girl but he didn't need to worry because he knew I wouldn't betray him.

"How about you, would you protect her?"

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I was standing in front of the closed door.

Suddenly it was all feel so real. He was really there, behind this door. I was sure he had been waiting for me. I knew it because just like how he could feel me standing here, I could feel him too. He was there, sitting behind the desk, drinking some bloody mary with a smirk painted on his cruelly handsome face. He was waiting for me.

He had expected me to come, but I knew he didn't expect me to come alone.

I gritted my teeth. This time, I had made my final decision. Aizen wouldn't like it but I would show him that things wouldn't always go as what he planned.

I didn't bother to knock. I knew he knew I was there already, it was proven with his smirk. Suddenly I had a bad feeling. That man wasn't there. He had always been by his side ever since that day. There was something wrong, did he really know my real plan?

"Welcome back, Ulquiorra Schiffer, how was the onsen?"

I had been right, he got a glass of bloody mary in his hand. He looked so calm despite I came alone, not like what he had told me. I felt weird, as if someone had just poured boiling water in my stomach. What was it? This weird feeling was really annoying. Something was off...

"You're alone."

I couldn't recognize my own voice. I hated to admit it but I was scarred. There were only two of us in the room but somehow I felt uneasy.

Aizen chuckled, "So are you."

I didn't say anything.

"So, in the end, you didn't bring her back, huh?" Aizen sighed, "you decided to betray me... Again?"

I clenched my jaw. My grip was tightened in my pocket. I needed to stay calm. I shouldn't be reckless...

"Though I told you I would forgive you... If only you bring her back with you." he put his now empty glass down before he stood up from his seat, "you love her that much huh? I told you that I wouldn't hurt her this time, didn't I. You didn't believe me..." he sounded calm, yet dangerous at the same time, "Well, it is not your fault... after all, you love her so much that you would do anything to protect her."

I didn't say anything. Our eyes met. I tried to read what he had in his mind but that was impossible.

"Well, I am so sad, you don't believe me... But that's okay, I understand." he leaned back to his table, hands in his pocket, "after what had happened in the past, you don't wanna make the same mistake."

I managed to keep silent. It wasn't hard for me to hide my emotion. After all of these years, I'd been masking my own feeling so it wasn't really hard for me to look calm even now, though deep inside I was raging. My heart was beating so fast.

"You're right," I tried to sound calm, it made my voice deeper than usual, "I didn't want to make the same mistake. I didn't want you, or anyone, hurt her again. I came here just to tell you that I respected you, I still do, but I have done many things to pay you back. This time I want to tell you that I quit. I wouldn't do think as you wish. Not anymore."

Aizen let out another chuckled, "what do you mean? Do you forget who had saved you?"

"I remember. You saved me but you also betrayed me. When you hurt her that time, you'd betrayed me." I narrowed my eyes slightly, I had this weird feeling whenever I remember what had happened that day, "That's why I come her to remind you... I want you to stop trying. I won't let you hurt her anymore. I know that your enemy is that Kurosaki guy but because by hurting him means you will also hurt her, I want you to stop."

Aizen looked amused. He pulled out his hand and tapping his finger on the table. The cocky smiled was still painted on his feature. He didn't look worried at all, as if he had predicted my moved.

"And..." he started slowly, "what if I said, 'no'?"

I pulled out a gun from my coat pocket and pointed it at him, "I will kill you."

I was serious. I knew he knew that I was serious. Before, I had pulled the trigger and this time I could do this again. Though this time I aim right to his head. I had decided not to let anyone harm her, though it meant I had to, once again, dirty my hand with blood. I didn't mind...

"You know," Aizen started casually, as if the fact that I was pointing a gun at him was nothing, "when I told you to get that woman, I knew that you would come back alone. I was right, wasn't I? Don't you realize it? My real plan?"

"What do yo-"

Suddenly I realized it.

"YOU BAST-"

There was a loud bang and suddenly I couldn't breathe. The gun fell off my hand and I lost my strength.

I felt as if a car had hit my body and I felt on my knee, clenching on my chest. Everything is fading away. My chest felt hot and I tried so hard to breath. I used my final strength to turned around only to see a blur shadow of teal haired man standing by the door.

I could see his smirk faintly before everything turned black.