"Mm, that really tingled my caterpillar, Vegetable Daddy." the caterpillar formerly known as Kahlil said, buttoning up his leather jacket.

"Yeah, it was... okay," Archibald said, even though it was hot-as-the-Bayblon-desert 'okay'.

"You're one hot piece of ass-paragus, Baby-ibald." Coolhil whistled. "Glad we could do this. Sorry again about your wife, though."

"Ah, what're you going to do?" Archibald shrugged shoulderlessly at the coolipillar.

Coolhil winked at him. "Would you like to go for a ride on my motorcycle?"

"You drive a motorcycle?" Archibald's interest was piqued. "Of course! I would love to!"

"You'll have to hold on tight. I don't have a second helmet." Coolhil warned sexily. The blue of his skin was glistening like an ocean filled with glitter and shiny glass bottles. Pollution in our oceans is never sexy, except when used to describe coolipillars who wear leather jackets; otherwise, save the whales! If we didn't have whales, we wouldn't have Jonah: a VeggieTales Movie, and sexy hot Coolhil would not have met Archibald.

Archibald followed Coolhil outside, eager for a motorcycle ride. He considered if he would look good in a leather jacket, riding a motorcycle down Bumblyberg, hitting up bars and picking up hookups. He envisioned riding with his non-existent arms wrapped around Coolhil's waist, the wind in his non-existent hair (the 'bald' in Archibald was unfortunately accurate, though Archibald often considered buying a sleek black mullet wig. He believed he would be the first and only person to look hot with a mullet, and it was all very unfair that he couldn't grow one naturally.), and he followed Coolhil in a dreamlike trance until he heard Coolhil cry out.

"Careful! You almost ran into it!"

Archibald froze, looking around for the motorcycle. He didn't see it and therefore came to the natural conclusion that followed: "You have an invisible motorcycle?" He gasped.

"Ah, why does God always make them so cute without giving them an equal amount of brains?" Coolhil remarked to himself, and he said, "No, it's right here. Where I'm standing. Look. I'm pointing to it."

Archibald looked down to see the tiny motorcycle, just the perfect size for a small but sexy caterpillar. He laughed in embarrassment. "Oh, dear. I suppose you're right." He said, feeling a little relieved. The invisible motorcycle would've been cool, but they would've looked silly riding it.

Coolhil hopped on the motorcycle and motioned to the back. "Hop on, Mr. Bald. I'm going to take you for a ride, Archi-babe."

Archibald carefully stepped on the very back of the motorcycle, but his weight unbalanced it, and the front wheel popped up, launching Coolhil into space like a caterpillar who had just been launched off of a motorcycle.

Archibald stepped off and watched the small, leather-clad caterpillar as he disappeared into orbit. "Maybe some other time, Coolhil!" He called. "I'll just... leave this here for you when you come back! Thank you, however!"

He reset the motorcycle and returned to his home. After some consideration, he picked up a rather large phonebook and began looking for a name.

Then he remembered it was 2023, and he had a smartphone with contacts. He pulled out the phone, scanning through the contacts until he reached Kilt Bagpipe, and he picked up the landline phone and dialed the number as it read on his cellphone.

"Ach. 'Tis Kilt Bagpipe ya wee dobber. What're ya wantin'?" Kilt remarked, his Scottish accent of such clarity, accuracy, and charm. Archibald didn't know a word of it, but he knew it was perfectly complimentary, whatever it was.

"Kilt! It's me, Archibald! You remember your dear numpty, as you used to call me."

Kilt fell into an uproarious laugh. "Aye, Numpty. That's right. Don't forget 'Fandan'; ya always were a 'Fandan' to me."

Archibald never dared look up 'Fandan', because he was sure it meant 'sexy and beautiful sentient asparagus-man,' and he couldn't risk it being even greater a compliment. He already got flustered hearing it.

"I was hoping we might reconnect. Have a little visit at your place?"

"All the way in Scotlandtown? Are ya smeekit?"

"Sure! I'm smeekit to come!" Archibald said, assuming 'smeekit' meant 'down to clown' in the beautiful language of the people from Scotlandtown, the stereotypical Scottish-themed town where everyone born there, despite it being in Bumblyberg, USA, was forced to adorn a Scottish accent and pretend they lived in Scotland.

"Ahch. That's why yer my numpty. Bit of a wopper to 'ave 'round, but yer a good craic."

"Yes, I... I am." Archibald said, deciding 'wopper' also meant 'sexy asparagus-man', and 'good craic' was 'really sexy asparagus-man'.

"I s'pose ay'll be seein' ye. Ye're clearly gantin on."

Archibald once again presumed that meant 'sexy'. Scottish-like compliments abounded from Kilt's mouth like a waterfall of glass shards. Cutting, bloody compliments. "I will be there with bells on!"

"Please leave th' bells, Numpty. Ach, and take a crack at that Scotlandtown to Fandan dictionary I gave ya for yer birthday sometime. I can tell ya 'aven't cracked the spine."

"Sure I have! Why... ah... yer a real chadder, ach? A gaffable eejit?"

"No. And never again. Shut yer pus forever."

Archibald, sadly, knew that one did not translate to sexy. He frowned and said, "well, I'll be there soon. Meet you at your place. Still living above the Haggis Inn-and-Pub?"

"Still runnin' the inn-and-pub but y'know. Sure. Just livin' there."

Archibald hung up the phone, smoothed out his invisible imaginary mullet, and hopped out to the car. He stopped, however, and looked down at the motorcycle. He would look much cooler arriving to Scotlandtown on a motorcycle. Surely Coolhil wouldn't mind him borrowing it.

"COOLHIL, I BELIEVE I'LL TAKE THAT RIDE NOW." He called out to the skies, hoping the caterpillar would hear him, wherever he was. "I'LL BRING IT RIGHT BACK."

He hopped onto the motorcycle seat carefully, and in a way that defied all physics, skated/motorcycled his way to Scotlandtown, considering himself to be the very sexiest of all asparaguses to ever ride a motorcycle of this size.