They must have been trudging through the forest, the tip of a sword pressing into Kili's back, keeping him marching forward, for more than an hour and he had finally given up struggling against the orcs. There were too many of them, and he had been bound and stripped of his weapons. His eyes shifted briefly around him to see his bow, arrows and sword slung over the back of a particularly grotesque looking orc, with gnarled features and only one eye. His knives stuffed into its belt. Kili's stomach twisted with hatred and anger. He wanted so much to fight against them, to lash out and scream all manner of vile curses at them, but that, he knew, would only result in the orcs becoming angered and they wouldn't hesitate to show him their infuriation. His body ached enough as it was. Until he could come up with a real plan he would
bite his tongue and go where they told him to in order to avoid provoking them. But even so, he clenched and unclenched his fists – which had been tied behind his back- moving his wrists in circular motions, in an attempt to loosen the bonds and relieve the agonising tightness. But the rope was thick and unyielding, it dug into his flesh with every movement. Kili could feel itbiting into him, gradually tearing his burning skin. He kept his head down, staring up at Azog, who rode at the front of the troop on his white warg, through the gaps of his hair. Every now and again the orc would turn to monitor him, but Kili didn't look away, simply shot Azog his most venomous glare, letting the vile creature just how much he loathed him. Azog would just sneer at him and look away, obviously the feeling was mutual. Kili wondered what the pale orc's plan for him was. Azog must have had a plan, or Kili wouldn't still be breathing. He had heard tales of what orcs did to their prisoners, the brutal torture and malicious emotional trauma. He knew he would suffer the same. The orcs would interrogate him, ask him questions about Thorin and the company, put him through agony until he snapped and spilled out all he knew. No, Kili shook his head, they could do whatever they wanted but he would keep the information behind sealed lips. They wouldn't break him. He straightened his shoulders and held his head high, altering his features to wear his most resolute, steely expression. Forcing the impression of indestructible tenacity and courage. But that was all it was, an impression. For deep down fear surged within him. For the first time since he left his home in Ered Luin, he was afraid. He was afraid because he was alone, trapped and striped of his weapons, surrounded by orcs that could kill him at any moment. But mainly he was afraid because there was no Fili to give him a reassuring nod or smile. If his brother had been with him the situation wouldn't have felt so grim.
Fili. His heart stung. Where was his brother now? How far away had the eagles taken him? Kili had to squeeze his eyes shut to prevent them from watering. How much he yearned for the strong, comforting presence of his older brother. To even feel Fili brush up against him in a small act of reassurance. To hear the sounds of his even, steady footsteps behind his own. To hear Fili whisper comforting words that only they could make out. But he was alone. Completely and terrifyingly alone. Kili dragged in a deep breath and tried to steady his shaking hands. The company would come for him, he knew they would. Fili would never allow them to abandon him. All Kili had to do was stay quiet and compliant and try not to give any cocky retorts that would anger his captors. But the young dwarf was impetuous and impatient, he didn't do well with being confined to one place for too long and had an overwhelming compulsion to answer back to snide comments and unpleasant individuals. It was something that he'd always had, something he was forever being scolded for. It was something that he'd have to bury until help came.
They left him! Why did they leave him? He was alone, Kili was alone!
Fili had struggled and pulled against his uncle's firm grip, his chest heaving with sobs and gasped breaths, for a long while after the billowing smoke and flames had vanished into the distance. Fili had shouted his brother's name over and over, demanding that they turn around until his voice was hoarse and his throat stung. His eyes burnt and blurred with tears and there was a pounding in his skull like hammers. His head began to swim as a million different thoughts crowded his mind, the image of the orcs swarming and congregating around his younger brother, who desperately tried to fight them off, flashing in his vision over and over again. He shook his head, this wasn't right! There he was, perched on the back of the eagle traveling towards safety, whilst his little brother was in the possession of an orc pack, led by the pale orc, the one whose name made their uncle's fist clench into tight balls, and chest constrict with fury. Azog. Who no doubt had plans for Kili that Fili didn't dare comprehend. And with every flap of the eagle's huge wings he was getting further and further away from him, further and further away from being able to protect him. This wasn't right. At last Fili's fighting ceased and he collapsed into Thorin's hold, defeated and scared. He clutched tightly to the eagle's soft feathers in a vain attempt to stop his hands from shaking. Thorin wrapped his arms around his nephew's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder, eyes squeezed shut. He listened to Fili's heavy breaths and felt how he trembled from head to toe. He could feel the panic emanating from him like the icy waves of a rushing, winter river.
Fili couldn't remember the rest of the journey, all he knew was that the sun had risen and Thorin was still clutching onto him when the eagles began to slow and descend, dipping swiftly in a motion that would have made Fili's heart plummet in his chest, if it didn't already feel like lead. The birds flew towards a lonely, rocky peak, surrounded in all directions by forest and grassy planes. If it wasn't for the circumstance, Fili would have found it a breath-taking sight. How the morning sun shone with golden rays on green and russet leaves, dancing off a thin, winding stream. Even from this height, he could smell the sweet scent of the woodland below. Finally the eagles came to rest on the peak and the dwarves clambered from their backs, glad to have their feet on the ground once again. Ori went to pat his bird with gratitude but suddenly felt very unnerved by the animal's huge beady eyes staring at him. Dori swiftly pulled his brother away from it. The bird's head jerked to the side before it spread its wings again and lifted from the ground. Fili was the last to dismount, needing to be coaxed and pulled down by Thorin and Dwalin, as he continued to sit stiffly on the bird's back, fingers still curled into its feathers.
"Come on lad." Said Dwalin, reaching up his arms as though Fili was a child, "I'm sure the animal has had enough of having someone on its back." But the blonde dwarf didn't move, his mind still leagues away and overflowing with terrifying thoughts. Dwalin heard Thorin sigh from beside him.
"Fili," the king said sternly, "come down now. Now Fili." The bird was starting to become impatient, shifting restlessly on its thin legs and folded wings twitching, as the others hovered or circled above. They were silhouetted against the sun and casted the oddest shadows on the ground. They cawed loudly, eager to move off. Eventually Fili nodded and shifted to slide down the side of the eagle, careful not to pull out any of its feathers. Thorin held a hand out to steady him as he landed, which was just as well as he swayed slightly upon impact with the rocky ground. The force stung the soles of his feet. Not waiting for the dwarves to step away, the bird immediately pushed off the ground and flew quickly up towards its friends. Its flapping wings sending a torrent of air towards them, it blew through their hair and made the edges of their jackets sway and flap. They rose their arms in front of their faces to stop pieces of dirt from blowing into their eyes.
"Where are they going? Are they going to get Kili?" Fili spoke with quiet desperation, his throat still stinging too much for him to raise it higher than a mumble. His fingers twitched at his sides as he watched the birds disappear to the east. Not the direction they came from. Panic surged within him again. His eyes locked on Thorin who stared at the ground beneath his anxious glare. There was a silence, a loud, unbearable silence and nobody seemed able to meet Fili's eyes. It was Gandalf who spoke finally.
"No." His voice was regretful and low, he drummed his fingers on his staff and shifted his weight uncomfortably. "No, they are not." Fili span on his heels to face the old wizard, his shoulders rising and falling with quick breaths and hands balled into tight fists at his sides.
"Why? Why didn't they rescue him like they did us? Why did they just …"
"There was nothing they could do." Gandalf tried to keep his voice steady. "Kili was already overwhelmed by the orcs, there was no guarantee they would have been able to reach him."
"So they just left him behind? They could have turned around for him!"
"No, they couldn't. I asked them to bring us here and only here. They would do no more than what was asked of them. And they wouldn't risk it."
"Risk? What risk? They were huge birds and there was so many. There would have been no risk!"
"My dear boy …"
"Do not call me that." Fili spat. Gandalf straightened his back and stared at the young dwarf, his mouth a thin line. The blonde's fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles had turned white and his fingernails dug into his palms. Fili's usual calm demeanour was cracking, anger threatening to burst through and overcome him. Thorin saw how the oncoming fury made his nephew's balled fists shake at his sides as he tried to keep it at bay, not wanting to snap in front of everyone.
"Fili," he said quietly, gripping Fili's elbow, feeling how it trembled. "It's alright."
"Alright?" Fili spun to look at him. Thorin's breath caught at his nephew's stare. His blue eyes were alive with fear and panic and anger, a dangerous mix that, with every heaved breath, threatened to overwhelm him. "How is it alright? The orcs have my brother!" Thorin reached out to place a hand on his shoulder but Fili hit it away. "You shouldn't have stopped me when I was running to him! I could have helped!"
"Or the orcs could have got both of you."
"But at least he wouldn't be alone! He's alone Thorin, alone with them. With … with Azog. If he finds out who Kili is, if they find out he's your nephew, they'll kill him! Or in the very least torture him for information. We cannot let them do that to him!" Fili's voice cracked, the prospect of his little brother being harmed, with him too far away to prevent it or offer comfort, made his heart hurt and stomach tighten. "We need to go back."
"We have no idea where they've gone, they could be anywhere." Dwalin said, eyes flicking quickly back in the direction they had just travelled. He folded his arms over his chest and steeled his features, not wanting to let the uneasiness show on his face. Orcs moved fast, especially if they were traveling with Wargs.
"Exactly! We have to go now before they get too far away."
"We have to rest, to build our energy back up." Thorin said, ignoring the look Fili suddenly flashed him. He didn't want to see the look of disbelief, he didn't want to look at those panicked blue eyes. Instead he glanced about him, letting his gaze travel over the rest of the company. He was right, they needed to rest, they all seemed exhausted, their eyes dark and sunken with fatigue. The events of the last day, the Storm Battle, Goblin Town and the fight with the Orcs, had taken their toll."We will take some hours to rest, find something to eat, get some sleep. Recover."
"Eat? Sleep? Recover? Do you think the orcs will let Kili do any of those things? No!"
"Fili." Thorin said firmly, "None of us are fit enough to begin the trek back right now. We will find your brother, I promise, but we are not leaving until the morning. When everyone is well."
"The morning? That's not good enough!" Fili bellowed, suddenly all of the anger that had been building up began to burst from him in a furious wave that made everyone stiffen, not used to this unfamiliar tone. "He could be dead by morning! You hate Azog! He's already killed your grandfather," Thorin felt a stab of pain at the memory of Thror's demise. The image that had haunted his nightmares for as long as he could remember, that had bittered him and hardened his heart "Caused your father to disappear and now he has your nephew! Are you really going to leave Kili with him for so long?! You know the type of things those beasts do to their prisoners." Fili ran his hands through his blonde hair, tugging at the golden strands. "Kili isn't even of age yet! He's still little more than a child!"
"Yes, a child!" Thorin snapped, suddenly feeling his own rage. "A stupid, impulsive child who recklessly and idiotically thought he could take on Azog alone! He brought this on himself, if he had stopped to think then he wouldn't be in this mess. Perhaps this will show him what being reckless can result in!" There was a quiet and simultaneous gasp from the group. Then, with a loud, animal growl, a sound unlike any Fili had ever made before, he lunged for Thorin, fist hitting him square in the jaw and sending him to the ground.
"How dare you say those things! How dare you!" Fili saw red as rage overcame him and moved to pin his uncle where he lay, taken aback by hisnephew's uncharacteristic outburst. "You heartless bastard! That's Kili, your nephew, my brother you're talking about! Your family!" He balled his fists up in Thorin's jacket and shook him and pushed him against the rock. "How can you say that?" Fili had never felt anger so strong. It made him tremble and feel sick, it clouded his judgement and forced out any other emotion. But he simply didn't understand how his uncle could say something so cruel. Perhaps this will show him what being reckless can result in. The words resonated in his ears and they hurt. In that moment he hated Thorin, wanted to hit him again. He raised his arm, ready to bring his fist down again, but something stopped him, a hand grabbed his wrist a strong arm snaked itself around his waist. He was pulled away, still screaming at his uncle, his voice venomous and full of fury.
It was Dwalin, holding him close to his chest, his hold so tight that it ached. But Fili still struggled and kicked and cursed.
"Stop it!" Dwalin hissed in his ear. He had never seen Fili act this way, and it scared him to see. Fili was usually so composed, he had never been so plainly enraged. It wasn't right. "Come on now," Dwalin tried to keep his voice level, "getting angry is not going to help." Fili's fighting ceased and he stopped trying to resist his hold, but Dwalin still held onto him, feeling how his chest heaved with ragged, deep breaths.
"He did it to protect you! You're his uncle, but he looks up to you as if you were his father! He did it because he loves you and couldn't bear to see you get injured!" Fili shot Thorin his most venomous glare, "And it is plain to see that you do not feel the same way." Fili's struggling had completely stopped and Dwalin's grip slackened. Thorin slowly got to his feet, shrugging away Balin and Gloin who had attempted to help, seeing how their king winced with pain. He stood stiffly, looking at his nephew, the blonde was furious and red faced.
"Are you suggesting that I do not love him?"
"It's obvious." Fili wasn't shouting now, and pulled away from Dwalin who eyed him nervously, prepared to reach out and grab him again if he returned for another assault. "If you truly cared for Kili you wouldn't think twice before going back for him, instead you stand there saying that he deserves this. How could you even think that?" Fili squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments, sucking in deep, steadying breaths. With each intake of air he allowed himself to calm slightly. But against his closed lids he saw the image of Kili being dragged away by the orcs, alone and weaponless. "I will not rest knowing that my little brother is in the hands of orcs." Opening his eyes he turned to stare at the rest of the company, who all seemed pale and wide eyed, not used to his explosion of anger. He was the calm, rational one. The last person they'd expect this behaviour from. Many of them could not meet his gaze. "Dori, Nori." He said quietly. Both dwarves gulping at the sound of their names being spoken by the enraged prince. "What if it had been Ori who had been taken? Would you be happy to leave him alone to suffer?" Dori didn't even need to consider it. He would never condemn either of his younger brothers to the pain that Kili was undoubtable going to endure. He placed a hand on Ori's shoulder and squeezed it. The colour had vanished from red haired dwarf's cheeks at the very prospect of being a prisoner of the orcs. He gulped.
"No." Dori said, quietly but definitely. He would sacrifice himself before he let harm befall his youngest brother.
"Exactly. We all have our family with us on this journey. And mine, the most important person in the world to me, and the person I swore to protect, has been taken." Fili turned to face Thorin, whose posture had slumped. "Please Thorin," He begged, "we cannot abandon him." Thorin studied his nephew, noticing how his hands still trembled at his sides and his breathing remained quicker than usual. There was so much desperation in those blue eyes. And there was also fear. Fili was never afraid, or if he ever was he never let it show so plainly on his face. But that was for his brother's benefit. If Kili saw his strong, brave older brother afraid then he would know something was very wrong. And terror would grip him like a vice. Everything Fili did was for him. But now he didn't need to hide his fear. Thorin also saw how tired Fili had become, suddenly looking like he hadn't slept in days. The rest of the company also looked close to collapse, their exhausted legs struggling to keep them standing, desperate to sit down, to lay down and rest. The dwarves and the hobbit, and even Gandalf, appeared to have aged some years with fatigue. What use, Thorin thought, would they be in fighting the orcs again in this state?
"We will go and find Kili." He paused, knowing his next words could send his nephew into another fit of rage. He straightened his back. "In the morning." But Fili didn't get angry, he didn't lash out or raise his voice. He heard the finality in Thorin's voice, knowing his mind was set. Instead, with his jaw tight and fists curled, he strode towards Thorin, stopping when they were mere inches apart and stared into his brown eyes.
"If anything happens to him," He said slowly, "I will never forgive you."
- AUTHOR'S NOTE -
So, chapter two. Woooo! I'm gonna try to update weekly, rather than daily (as I did with my last FF) because the chapters are longer.
Thanks for the reviews you've left so far, I really appreciate your feedback.A few of you said that the paragraphs were too big and were hard to read so I hope this one is better, if not let me know. It was a little hard because there was quite a bit of speech here but yea, let me know.
I hope you enjoy this part, I really liked writing it, especially the bit where Fili got angry at Thorin. I wanted to get the worried, protective older brother through and I hope I did.
I'll get the next part up next week, maybe sooner but I'm moving out of my University residence over the weekend (very sad face) and still have 80% of my room to pack haha.
Anyway as usual, reviews, favourites and follows are welcomed and appreciated :)
