Racing Hearts
AU. When Sarah's father returns to her life years later claiming he wants to make amends she struggles a bit with the decision of letting the man who once betrayed her into her heart again? Will her family make her see there's forgiveness after all?
Sarah loved days off. She loved them as much as she loved a freshly made cup of coffee brought by her ever chivalrous husband, in a rare occasion in which the trio was sleeping still, Connor came into the room with a soft smile and his messy sleep hair.
God, she also loved that messy hair and that sweet man that she got to call the father of her children, but she wasn't going to lie, marriage was never in the cards for her, never had she imagined she'd be going down that path after what had happened with her parents. Connor sat beside her quietly, placing a kiss on her cheek as he bent his legs and rested his back on the headboard. Sarah leaned a little forward as she took the steaming liquid into her lips.
Her mind then drifted back to Robert and the matter of his impending visits to the hospital with Dr. Charles for sessions. She knew she wasn't meant to breach any kind of confidentiality agreement but the man was her mentor so she was sure he'd make some comment about Robert even if she didn't want to hear it.
That was why she was taking her time to go back to work, Connor taking the time along with her. At least for a few days.
"What's going in that beautiful head of yours?" Connor pulled her back from her thoughts. She took a sip of her coffee and leaned her head into his shoulder.
"Robert." She said simply.
Connor brushed her cheek softly with his thumb. "You do know you have no obligation to him unless you want it, right?"
"I know, you have none to your father either and we still have to dress up for Charities, even though he hates my guts." She told him.
"Oh well, if we're going that way, he hates my guts too, that's not new and we do that for Claire and my mother." Sarah smiled. "We've pretty messed up parental units don't we?" Connor smirked.
"I wonder if we're not meant to screw up the boys?" Sarah said grimly. Connor placed his cup on the nightstand. He knelt in front of her so that she could be in his view level.
"Sarah, you are nothing like your mother and if I come close to be like my father please shoot me." He said and she grinned grimly. "Really baby, if there's a reason we became parents was to do the best we can and redeem the crappy parental skills they had."
"You should have gone into physcology." Sarah joked.
"Oh no, too much moping. No offense, I prefer the quiet of a body in the OR." He threw back. She leaned into his chest as he hugged her. "Don't worry, as far as I'm concerned we've been doing it okay for two and a half years. I'd say we're off to making a good prognosis." Connor kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes at his touch and then lifted her face to look into his blue eyes. Connor took the lead to kiss her. Her mouth quickly parted as he became more insistent.
Sarah felt as Connor took the mug and placed it next to his, her back was quickly against the mattress as her fingers tangled into his hair. "I hope we can make this quick before they wake up..." He whispered as he nibbled her ear.
"Don't jinx it." She replied as she took off his shirt and pushed him back so the positions were reverted.
Sarah definitely loved days off.
They did make it rather quick because the boys were awake around 8. At two and a half they were not as articulate but their achievements didn't come to less on their doting parents.
Luke was the most outspoken. He was stubborn and sweet, his blue eyes quickly got him out of trouble with Sarah while Connor tried to discipline his carbon copy of a toddler.
Finn maintained their sanity intact as his laid back personality allowed him to be the more manageable of the three.
Ollie was there to make sure they made a perfect mess when they three were together but mostly kept to himself from his brothers. April would often joke he was Sarah's favorite much to her annoyance.
Connor would point it out in occasion too, maybe it was because he reminded her most of her younger self. Usually introverted and kept to her own accord.
"You are all done baby, doesn't that feel good?" Sarah smiled as she put Ollie down on the bed to dress him. He sat up, trying to grab the bottle of cream she'd just taken from the dresser.
"Mommy, mommy, look!" He tried to get her attention. Connor came in then with Finn in his arms and Luke trailing along.
"Are we almost done here?" He smiled.
"Almost." Sarah sighed. She and Connor had developed a system even though the boys weren't identical, they would dress them in some thematic matching mix.
Today was Pixar movies, Connor loved The Incredibles, for which Luke wore a Dash Parr shirt, and Sarah, Up, hence the Kevin shirt on Finn as for Ollie? They both adored Toy Story: Sarah threw in a pair or dark pants and Buzz Lightyear tee on her curly haired boy. "Ready"
Sarah walked hand in hand with Connor to the park as he swiftly pushed the stroller ahead. "You okay babe?"
"Yeah, I've just been thinking, would it be so horrible if I put my residency on hold?" Connor stopped. "Maybe stay home?"
"Sarah, honey..."
"No, I know what you're going to say but I've been thinking about the whole phycology thing and maybe I just don't belong in medicine..."
"Sarah, that's crazy..." He told her. "You love it..."
"Do I? First I didn't want to take Pathology and then I had to delay my residency because of the babies, not that I regret that but... maybe it's a sign, maybe I'm not supposed to be like my mother and allow myself to have a work consumed life. I love Amy but I don't want the boys to feel like I don't have time for them."
Connor kept listening to Sarah and his mind turned back to the moment he'd first fallen for her. He'd just come back to Chicago and was an ED fellow at Med, bumping heads with Will at every chance he had.
She'd seemed so clueless back then, but unlike her fellow doctors, he'd seen more to Sarah than just a fourth year med student. He'd seen someone who cared, cared for the craft and wanted to do something more with medicine than just being in Pathology. He'd been the one to talk her into trying the opening with Dr. Charles after he'd gone to Goodwin and made her reconsider why Sarah was the perfect person to learn under Daniel.
He remembered she'd been so mad at him for meddling, yet, she'd seemed grateful to have someone on her side for once, specially someone in high regards at the hospital as Connor and it didn't hurt he was her boyfriend, a few months after that she'd finally admitted she was madly in love with Connor and he asked her to marry him that Christmas.
They stopped the conversation to focus on their high energy boys, Connor made sure they had sunblock on and Sarah fed them some cheese sticks and juice, that worked for her, the system she had with Connor regarding the boys, her life was like that, they were focused on work but still managed to find a common ground in the domesticity of it all.
"Daddy play!" Luke smiled as the other two had already broken into a run to the playground. "Daddy!"
"In a minute buddy..." Connor turned to Sarah. "Babe, let's just talk about it, okay?"
"Daddy!"
"Go." Sarah pleaded. "Go Connor, please." Connor huffed. He kissed her forehead and moved along with the boys, not before glancing back at her.
She'd watched them and thought of how lucky she was. She really didn't want to fight with Connor over this, she wanted to be a mother, a more present one. She knew her friends were parents too, Natalie worked the same hours as Will and they both made it work and Connor had chosen an specialty that allowed him to do quite a few of selectives surgeries that could accommodate him being home with the boys at dinner. But was she really ready to go through a grewling residency just because she didn't want her mother or Connor think she'd failed?
Then she thought of Dr. Charles, he'd been right there in her corner with Connor cheering her on. Even when she was heavily pregnant he'd bring her cases and they would work on them together. He'd been more of a father to her than Robert ever was.
Was she ready to disappoint him too?
"Mommy!" She saw Finn calling for her as Connor put Luke and Ollie on the swings.
Was she ready to disappoint all the men in her life that believed in her?
"Mommy, higher!" Finn smirked up at her. She pushed ahead and he giggled.
"Babe?" She leaned to whisper to him. "We'll talk about it, alright?"
Connor kissed her on the lips. "That's all I ask." He told her. "And whatever you decide, whether is work or your father, I just want to be there for you, to jump off, holding your hand. I made a promise to you the day you married me, remember?
Oh, she remembered it well and she loved him more for it.
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