"You were always there, and like a shining light on my darkest days, you were there to guide me.

Oh I miss you now. I wish you could see, just how much your memory will always mean to me.

In a blink of an eye, I never got to say goodbye.

Like a shooting star flying across the room, so fast so far, you were gone too soon. You're a part of me

And I'll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon." –Simple Plan, Gone too soon.


Some time after Thorin and Fili returned to camp, everyone breathing a sigh of relief that the blonde prince was well, the company cleared the small glade and headed back down the mountain. It was mid-afternoon and the trees were becoming evenly spaced, blue sky visible through the canopy. It was a fine day, with a crisp breeze and only thin wispy clouds scattering the sky. Whilst the gentle wind was brisk, the sun was warm and friendly. Bilbo sighed. The pleasant weather seemed needless. For the mood amongst the company was glum and a downpour of bitterly cold rain could not have dampened their spirits more. Perhaps it should have been raining, for a nice day like this was wasted.

Bilbo observed Fili as they walked, and saw the change in the young dwarf. He no longer walked with straight, proud shoulders, he no longer held his head high. Bilbo realised that it wasn't just Kili who had been killed by the orcs, some part of Fili had died along with him. Bilbo could see it in his eyes; he looked broken, his tough exterior and fighting spirit destroyed. He looked weak now, like a scared child that had been left alone. As Bilbo glanced at Fili, at his pale, worn face and dark eyes, he saw nothing of the person he had first met. Nothing of the cheerful Dwarven prince that smiled and sung with a glisten in his blue eyes when the company first arrived at Bag End. Now there was just a shell, a ghost of what was.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Bilbo asked Balin who was walking beside him. The old dwarf had said very little all day and his face was pale and worn with grief. Balin gave him a sideways glance, sadness in his eyes, then looked towards Fili.

"I do not know, lad." He said with a shrug. "He has experienced a terrible and cruel loss and I don't know how he will fare without his brother."

"They were close." Bilbo said, feeling rather silly and like he was stating the obvious.

"Close? Oh yes." Balin Nodded. "Growing up they were always together, like each other's shadows. It would have suited them better to be twins. If there were ever two lads who were should never have been parted it was Fili and Kili. And now … they've been separated in the worst imaginable way."

Fili walked in a daze, not feeling the warm glow of the sun on his cheeks. He felt lost without Kili walking beside him, the empty space beside him, which should have been occupied by his brother, serving as a cold and painful reminder. He wasn't sure how he could cope with the feeling of loneliness that was overwhelming him, with the grief and guilt over what had befallen his baby brother. There may have been a mere five years between them, but Kili was always his baby brother. Maybe it was his childlike innocence and the way he saw the world. Or his silly sense of humour and the way he tried to laugh and smile every day. The thing that Fili admired, the thing he loved the most about his brother was the way he believed happiness was a choice, how he wasn't content until everyone was smiling. Now, without the contagious and joyful presence beside him, Fili wasn't sure if he'd ever feel the same happiness again. How could he be happy knowing what had happened to his brother, how cruel and lonely Kili's death was? His brother didn't deserve what happened to him. He was too young, too innocent and too full of joy. What he wouldn't do have their places swapped, that Kili could live instead.

He couldn't remember life without Kili – he was too young, in fact, his first memory was of his brother. As far as he was concerned, Kili had always been there. And he just couldn't accept the fact that he would never be there again. He couldn't accept the fact that he'd never see the smile which made him forget all his worries, never hear the laugh that warmed his heart and made him feel alive, never hold his brother close again. How could he continue knowing that all that was nothing more than a memory, that he was going to be alone, with nothing but an empty space beside him?


Kili had been leaning away from the tree and subconsciously pulling against his bonds until the skin beneath the rope was raw and bleeding. With each tug, the rope made a creaking noise as it got tighter. It wasn't until he finally stopped that he realised just how much firmer the cord had got around his stinging wrists. He hissed through his teeth, feeling warm blood oozing slowly down his hand, running like a river through his fingers. He pressed his back against the tree. The orcs had been stationary for some time, midday had come and gone and now sunset was slowly creeping upon them. And still the others that had stayed behind had yet to return. Something told Kili that they weren't going to catch up at all. Not that he particularly cared. Now there were less ugly orcs to sneer at him. What creatures were left seemed to be taking more amusement in staring at him than usual, nudging each other playfully and whispering in one another's ears with gleeful smirks. It unnerved Kili and he didn't take much joy in being the butt of their jokes. He frowned and before he knew it, he was pulling against the bonds again. He wasn't sure why he was doing it, it wasn't as though they were suddenly going to come loose (he didn't even know what he'd do if they did.) Maybe the stabs of pain were to remind himself that he was awake, that all of this was happening and it wasn't some horrendous nightmare from which he couldn't seem to wake. Or maybe, as morbid as the thought was, it was to remind him that he was still alive. That he hadn't died and wasn't in some kind of hell. Although, it certainly felt like hell.

Kili was suddenly aware of heavy footsteps coming towards him, twigs snapped and leaves crunched below the feet. Kili stopped tugging, feeling a cold shiver run throughout his body. He didn't need to look up to see who was stood before him. For some moments he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the ground. A beetle scuttled over a dead, brown leaf and then burrowed beneath the earth. Kili sucked in a breath and raised his head. Azog was crouched in front of him, icy blue eyes shining. At first nothing was said, Kili and Azog simply held on another's gaze, studying each other intently. To Kili, Azog looked just as smug as usual, if not more so (if that was possible.) And to Azog, Kili looked pale and weak. The white orc smirked and leaned in closer to the dwarfling, who straightened his back with a small wince.

"Your friends think you are dead." Azog informed him. Kili's brow creased, he didn't understand. "They were getting close and so I instructed my men to tell them that we had killed you." Kili's eyes widened. No! No, no! Azog laughed and said something that made the dwarf's heart stop, "no help is coming now." Then with a sneer, Azog stood up and walked away without giving him another look.

No, no, no, no, no! Kili's chest rose and fell in quick bursts as he suddenly found himself panting for air. He couldn't help the tears that blurred his vision as he realised that he was never going to get out of the orcs custody, he would be their prisoner until he died, either by their hands or by the cold winter that would be upon them quicker than they knew. Nobody was coming for him. Up until that moment, the certainty that Fili, Thorin and the rest of the company would find him, no matter where the orcs moved, that they would burst through the woodland and free him, kept him fighting. Kept him thinking optimistically. But now … Kili stopped mid-thought, his mind struck with another thought that froze his heart. Fili. How must his brother be feeling after being so falsely informed? He would be breaking, moment by moment, with grief. It had always been the two of them, and now, as far as Fili knew, it would just be him for the rest of his days. He would be feeling guilty, that Kili knew, he'd be feeling as though he'd failed, for he always took his role as an older brother seriously. A silent tear fell down Kili's cheek, the salty liquid was warm against his cold skin. Oh, Fili, he thought, you didn't fail, brother.

If anyone had failed, it was him.


-AN-

Part Sixteen! Woop! Thanks for all the kind reviews guys, you rock!

I put the song lyrics at the top because it's perfect for what Fili is feeling. It's a beautifully sad song. I may put some more lyrics on later chapters if they fit.

Poor Fili and Kili :(

I hope you enjoyed this part, if you did, don't forget to fave, follow and (especially) leave a review.