Fili sat beside his brother's prone figure studying him closely, eyes surveying his face. Whatever had happened to Kili had made him appear even more unwell than he had before. His face was gaunt and ghostly, lips pale and cracked and closed eyes encircled in dark shadows. The bruises and cuts more obvious against his white skin. Fili reached out and ran a hand through his brother's hair, feeling it tangled and dirty despite him washing it that morning. He sighed sadly. Dwalin had carried Kili back into camp some hours ago, the younger dwarf limp and small in his arms. Dwalin had worn a grave look upon his face when he and the others appeared, fear glinted in his eyes as he lay Kili down. Fear not because of Kili but rather for him. Fear wasn't a look the warrior wore often, it was usually covered by a staunch mask. "He told us," Dwalin had said, resting back on his heels, one large hand still wrapped softly around Kili's skinny shoulder, "he made me do it." As the warrior recounted Kili's words, his own words had trembled slightly and he looked upon Kili with sorrow. Fili had asked who he was. Who was this person who had made his brother lash out? But Dwalin simply shruggedand shook his head. And that was when the camp grew quiet. What was there to say other than the question that only Kili could answer? Fili feared that the others would suspect Kili of being unstable, that his weeks as the orc's, as Azog's prisoner, his weeks being beaten and burnt and lashed, had unhinged him, that he was hearing voices that weren't really there. Or perhaps his fever was playing tricks on him. But Fili knew there was something more. He didn't know of any sickness, physical or mental, that could change the colour of someones eyes, especially to that pitch blackness that had taken over his brother's eyes. He groaned, his head still hurt, a pulsing pain in his skull, from the impact of the wood and he rubbed it absently with the tips of his fingers. The bleeding had stopped some time ago, the bloody rag Oin had used now lay disposed on the floor. The stinging in his skull made him want Kili to wake up even more, Kili hadn't done this to him, of that Fili was positive. But at that moment there was so many unanswered questions bouncing around inside his aching head that Fili needed Kili to wake up. He needed to understand, to help.
Kili felt like he was suffocating. The air was so thick that it was hard to breath any in, and when he did, his lungs hurt. It was as if the air was poison. He didn't know where he was. It was dark. So dark, in fact, that he doubted he would be able to see his hand if he were to hold it even an inch from his face. So he didn't bother. It seemed to him like he had been walking for a very long time, and in the darkness he couldn't tell where he was walking from or where he was walking too. He had his right arm raised at his side, fingers tracing the cracks in what felt to him like a stone wall, grit coming away at his touch. In the stillness of the air, he could hear it fall to the ground. The only other accompanying sound was that of his footsteps, each one echoing around him, bouncing off the stone, which he supposed was responsible for the chill, as stone was very rarely warm, especially in a place as dark as this, where sun, it seemed, could not reach. Kili doubted been anywhere as dark before, it was an all consuming blackness. But there was something strangely familiar about the place, something about the cold air and the scent that clung to it. It was a bitter, murky smell, like something old and decaying. Stagnant was the best word Kili could think of to describe it. He scrunched up his nose and pulled the too-big tunic tighter around him.
As Kili walked onwards, it felt as though the air was getting colder, the chills that had been climbing up his spine growing steadily icier. The stone walls too seemed to be falling considerably in temperature, until it felt as if Kili was tracing a wall of pure ice, his fingertips stinging. But still Kili dragged them over the stone, for it was the only way for him to know where to walk. That was until the darkness began to lift. Kili pulled his hand away as it began to drag across the wall, revealing the dull grey stone it had previously been concealing, like curtains being pulled open to let the sunlight flood in. It appeared to Kili as though the dark was its own entity, thick and separated from everything else, like he could reach out and take into his hands. The way it slithered over the stone was like a hundred black and eyeless serpents, following the cracks where the huge bricks joined together, all moving in the same direction. Kili watched them, stood still now, and finally able to see that he had been walking down a long, straight hallway, with his fists curled at his sides. As the serpents carried on they soon came together in a clump which seemed to hang in mid air, away from the walls. They hovered there, in one large mass, for some time until a gust of bitterly cold air blew down the hallways, from behind Kili, lifting the edges of his hair. Then the darkness seemed to twist and morph, moulding into a shape that Kili had seen before. A head and neck perched upon a long, thin body with equally long arms which ended in spindly, crooked fingers. Kili's breath caught in his throat and he felt his body go rigid. He wanted to turn and run, he wanted to get far away, but he was frozen to the spot. As though there were hands holding him in place. He could see his breath as it came away in a thick cloud, the air was even colder than before. It was a wonder the stone around him hadn't a layer of frost over it.
"Kili." The Necromancer said, it's ghostly voice cutting through the stillness of the hallway and sent a chill throughout Kili's entire body. It lifted an arm towards Kili, curling a finger, beckoning the young dwarf forward. "Kili." Although Kili's legs didn't move and he dug his heels into the hard floor, he found himself getting closer and closer to the Necromancer. It was as though there was somebody behind him pushing him down the hallway, and no matter how hard he tried to resist, he could not stop them. But there was nobody else. "Kili. Kili." Kili's began to beat harder in his chest, beating with such ferocity that his rib cage began to ache. "Kili."
"Kili." Fili said, leaning over his brother and shaking him by the shoulders. Kili was shifting in his unconsciousness, feet weakly digging into the dirt, brows pulling together and quiet, unintelligible mumble passing his lips. Was he having another nightmare? "Kili, wake up." Fili said louder, sterner. Kili's features pulled themselves into a grimace. "Open your eyes." Fili placed a hand on Kili's chest, feeling his brother's rapid heartbeats beneath his palm. Almost as soon as his hand made contact, Kili's own snapped up to wrap tightly around Fili's wrist, his grip so strong, in fact, that it made the bones in Fili's wrist ache, and he shoot up into a sitting position, chest rising and falling rapidly and brown eyes wide. Fili tried to pull his arm away, but his brother's hold on it was still iron. "Let go of my arm, Kili." He said, trying to keep his voice the right mix of stern and soft. But Kili didn't let go, he didn't even turn to look at him, his eyes still looking straight ahead as though there was some beast standing before him. Fili followed his gaze but saw nothing. "Kili? Hey." Nothing. Fili groaned, "Kili, damn it, look at me!" Kili flinched at his raised voice and his head jerked to the side, his dazed eyes came into focus. "Good. Now let go of my wrist." Fili gave his arm a small shake, his brother's firm grip was really starting to hurt now. Kili's eyes fell to his hand which he retracted, pulling it away with a gasp and startled eyes.
"Sorry." He said quietly, watching as Fili rubbed his wrist, brows pulled together slightly.
"It's alright." Then Kili looked at him, his eyes brimming with terror and shame. His mouth fell open slightly. Fili frowned. "Honestly, it's …"
"N…no." Kili stammered, "no, it's not." Now there was only shame in his eyes as he looked upon a patch of dried blood beside Fili's hairline. "I…I hurt you." He shrunk away from his brother. "A…and Thorin and Dwalin." He flashed his gaze towards the two older dwarves who were stood a pace or two behind Fili. Dwalin's crossed arms fell to his sides, Kili could see the cut where he'd struck him with the dagger.
"Kee," Fili reached a hand out towards him and inched forward, but Kili batted his hand away.
"Don't, please just … Just don't." Digging the heels of his tattered boots into the dirt, he pushed himself backwards. He didn't want to be touched, he didn't want to be told that it was okay, because it wasn't. He felt the trunk of a tree against his spine, and leant back against it, pulling his knees up to his chest. Fili turned his head to look at his uncle, who came to kneel beside him. Kili stared at him briefly, guilt shining in his eyes, before looking away. Thorin gave Fili a sideways glance.
"Nephew," he said, his voice soft, "It's …" But Kili cut him off, his voice fearful.
"Don't tell me it's alright, because you know it's not." A tear rolled down Kili's cheek.
"And you know that it wasn't you who hurt us. Don't you?" Thorin leaned forward slightly, brows furrowed. He noticed Kili's breath hitch, he suddenly looked so afraid. That little action confirmed Thorin and Fili's suspicions. For Thorin also knew there was something more than just a simple fever, he too knew that his nephew wasn't crazy. "Don't you." But he wanted to hear Kili say it.
"Come on, nadadith, what's going on? What aren't you telling us?" Fili asked, placing a hand on Kili's knee. His brother didn't flinch or push his hand away, and instead of his muscles going rigid, he slumped back against the tree. For a time, there was nothing spoken and Kili's eyes looked away into the trees, as though the words he was searching for were etched into the dead leaves. Fili and Thorin didn't press, they simply waited for the youngest Durin to find the right words, sitting before him in silence. The whole company was quiet now, watching intently. Kili could feel their eyes on him, burning into him as they awaited their explanation. But he feared it would only strike more fear into them, for he was sure they were already unsure whether he was safe. And the truth was, he wasn't. Kili sighed and looked towards his brother, eyes flicking from him to Thorin.
"I didn't know, I promise." He said. "I didn't know, not until he told me."
"Who is he, Kili? Tell us, so we can help you."
"I don't think you can." Fili flicked his eyes towards Thorin, who had knelt beside him, staring at his youngest nephew with furrowed brows.
"Let us try, brother. Please." Fili begged. There was a weight on his brother's bruised and battered shoulders, it was making him sick and Fili wanted to lift it. It was his job. "Kee, Tell us what's going on."
"There was a plan, is a plan." Kili began. "When I was with the orcs, we went to Dol Guldur and … and there was a Necromancer. Azog took me to him and he did something. He's inside my head, he keeps talking, telling me to do things, bad things." Kili sucked in a deep breath and dragged his eyes away from his kin. He couldn't look at them. He couldn't look at anyone. "He's going to make me kill you, all of you. That's why they offered me for Thorin, so he could be Azog's prize and I would be left to kill the rest of you. And just because Thorin is still here, doesn't mean anything has changed." When the final word had passed his lips Kili breathed out the breath he hadn't realised he'd held. He'd blurted out those words without even stopping to breathe. His whole body was trembling now and he pulled his legs tighter too him, his fingers twitching and drumming on his knees. He could feel everyone's eyes one him even stronger than before, he had heard them gasp with horror. Another sole tear rolled down his cheek as he buried his face in his arms. He didn't want to see the company's faces, and he didn't want them to see his. This monster he was about to become. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."
Fili felt his heart stop and he fell back onto his heels, a hand went to cover his mouth which had fallen open as Kili talked. He stared at his younger brother, who had curled in on himself, with abhorrence. He couldn't prevent it. He felt horrified at what Kili had just said, and he didn't want to believe it. How could he? It sounded absurd. Dol Guldur? A Necromancer? He had overheard talk of a Necromancer whilst they had been in Beorn's home, although he hadn't listened all that well, and he hadn't believed what he had listened to. He had thought Necromancers to be things of legend. Clearly he was wrong. So perhaps he ought to believe his brother. The fear in Kili's eyes told Fili that his words rang true, that they were not the result of some feverous delusion. He's going to make me kill you. It was those words that sent the greatest shiver down Fili's spine. Make? How could someone who wasn't there make someone do something like that?
"Kili?" Fili asked, wetting his dry lips with his tongue, "What do you mean he's going to make you? How can he make you?" Kili's wet brown eyes glanced up from behind his arms.
"Like I said," came his muffled voice, "he's inside my head." Kili sniffed back more tears. He raised his head and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. "When … when I attacked you, I couldn't stop, none of those actions where my own. I could see everything, I was screaming but I couldn't stop. It was like I was watching it all through a window. It was like my body was not my own." He said.
Fili could see his brother's vicious trembles. Kili didn't deserve this. To be captured by the orcs was one thing, but this was quite another. What more could he endure? Fili ran a hand through his blonde hair and sighed before reaching forward to pull his sibling into an embrace. But at his touch, Kili stiffened so much it was as though the elder brother had wound arms around the tree Kili was sitting below. But Fili held on, letting his hand travel through his brother's dark hair, until Kili relaxed, slumping into Fili's grip. Fili felt his brother's shoulders shudder. "I don't want to hurt anyone."Kili said, his voice breaking. He choked out a sob and balled his fists into the fabric of Fili's vest. Fili rested his chin atop Kili's head, and wrapped his arms tighter around him.
"It'll be alright."
"How?" I don't know, was Fili's honest answer. But he didn't say that. In fact, he didn't say anything for a while. He didn't know what to say. What could he say to reassure his brother that they, that he could make it better? Because that was what he was supposed to do, wasn't it? He was Kili's big brother, he was meant to make things better. He wanted to believe that he could, that he had the answer. But he didn't. This wasn't a wound he could bind, this wasn't a nightmare he could chase away. This wasn't anything he'd faced before. He closed his eyes and sighed sadly.
"We'll figure it out." Was all he could say.
The company were on edge. They were weary of him. Kili could see it in their eyes, their tense and careful movements, even the way they spoke to him, if they did at all, every word seemed meticulously thought over before spoken, as though they were afraid their words would upset him and trigger something. He could hardly blame them, though. If it had been someone else telling him these things, he would be acting the same way. He wasn't sure how he was feeling now after revealing what was happening. He didn't feel like he was suffocating anymore, but that weight had been replaced with the knowledge of what the Necromancer wanted to do, was going to make him do. He didn't want to hurt his friends, but he feared he wouldn't have a choice. Kili looked around the camp, at all those within it. Most avoided his gaze, the others offered him forced smiles. They were afraid, he was afraid. When he, no, when the necromancer had attacked them earlier that night, he had been able to fight his way out of his grasp and become himself once more. And Kili knew he would have to fight again. But as time crept on, he also knew that the necromancer's grip on him would grow stronger and he'd become harder to fight.
"This is too much." Fili said, his arms crossed over his chest. He was stood on the edge of the camp with Thorin, Balin and Dwalin. "First the orcs, and now this." Fili had been pacing for some time but had stopped when his feet began to ache. He hadn't heard much of what the other three dwarves had been saying, there was too much swirling about in his head. He had caught fractions of their conversation, mainly discussing what Kili had told them. What Fili had heard seemed to consist mainly of growled curses and foul language from his uncle and Dwalin, Balin trying to calm them down. The elder dwarf had given up after a while and fell silent, allowing the others to vent their displeasure. "There has to be something we can do." Fili said, letting his arms fall to his sides. He looked towards his brother, who hadn't moved n inch since he had, reluctantly, left him. He still had his knees pulled up, looking small below the tree trunk.
"A necromancer is extremely powerful, I honestly don't know what can be done." Balin said, with a defeated shake of his head. The old dwarf had his hands laced together solemnly. His mouth was a thin line and the corners of his lips were pulled down slightly. He really did look disheartened. But Fili wasn't ready to give up on Kili. He would never give up on him, even if the Necromancer had turned Kili's eyes black and had plunged a sword through Fili's gut, he would still call out to his brother, trapped inside his own body, to let him know it was alright and that he loved him. Nothing could ever make Fili give up on his baby brother.
"So what? We stand around while some name necromancer plays him like a puppet? Until it makes him kill us?" Fili said in a hushed shout, "He has been though enough!"
"Fili …" Thorin said sternly, glaring at his oldest nephew.
"There has to be something we can do."
"And we will find it, I promise. But for now we …"
"Wait and hope the Necromancer leaves Kili alone?" Fili returned Thorin's scowl, he took a step towards his uncle, who had straightened his back. "Is that a promise you can keep this time, uncle?" He growled in a low voice. Fili held Thorin's gaze for some moments, lips curled back slightly, before he pushed past him to rejoin his brother.
He saw Kili physically stiffen when he sat down beside him. muscles going rigid and dark brown eyes momentarily flicking sideways to look at him. There was a strange, thick air between them. It made both brother feel uneasy. Fili wanted to break the silence, wanted to find some words to make it better. But it was Kili who spoke first.
"I'm afraid, Fili." He said. Fili frowned slightly, the words striking his heart. Kili had never before admitted when he was scared, he would always play it off with some joke. But Fili could always see right through it, he'd never call him out on it, though.
"I know." The truth was, Fili was scared too. No, more than scared, he was terrified. Terrified for his brother, for what was happening to him. Terrified that they wouldn't be able to find a way to help him. That was his greatest fear. That once again, he'd let his brother down.
"I don't want to hurt anyone, but I'm afraid I won't be able to stop him." Kili looked at Fili helplessly. "He'll get stronger and stronger and stronger, until I can't fight him anymore."
"But you will fight him, Kili. I know you, better than anyone else. You've never given up before, and I know you wont give up this time." Fili placed both hands on his brother's shoulders. "Don't doubt your strength Kili, because I don't. You fight him Kili, you promise me that you'll fight him. Because I promise you that I, that we, will find a way to help you, to get rid of him for good." Fili pressed his forehead against Kili's. "I promise."
"Me too, for as long as I can, I promise I'll fight him." Kili felt his muscles relax as Fili's arms wound themselves around him. His brother was by his side, and he would fight the necromancer as hard as he could for as long as he could.
-AN-
Dun, dun, duuuuunnn! So, that's what's going on. Well, well, well. The Necromancer is a right bastard. Poor Kili. He really is some pawn in a horrible game.
I hope you liked this part, I got some major writer's block while I was working on it, so I hope it turned out alright!
As usual, faves, follows and (especially) reviews are appreciated and welcomed! I love to hear what you guys think!
