One chapter will talk about the past, one about the present until we reach the point where we began with the present. Confusing much? It keeps things interesting. ;)

Same disclaimer applies-Twilight belongs to S.M., but the idea of this story is mine.

Many thanks to my awesome betas and friends - TeamAllTwilight and m0t0b33.


July 2012

Yesterday I paid my landlord the rent for last month and terminated our contract.

Everything I own has been shipped to Edward's house.

Technically, I've been living with him ever since we left the hospital, six days ago.

Esme was the only one who could help take him home, and I'm sure everyone regretted not being there when we told them about the tearful reunion between Edward and Slob. The second I opened the front door, Edward shouted for me to stop—Slob was in front of the door, and when he saw his master, he simply jumped on Edward's lap, licking his face, whining and keeping his paws on Edward's shoulders. I even took pictures.

And now, while he's on top of his bed, with his hands under his head, humming along with the songs coming from the entertainment room, I stow away my belongings. Thankfully, Edward doesn't own tons of stuff, because his shelves are half-empty.

"Can you bend a little to the right?" Edward calls from the bed.

I do as he says considering his shirts are to my right.

"A little lower!" he adds on a hoarse voice.

Realizing he's fucking with me, I turn around, hands on my hips, but the retort dies on my tongue. He's propped his head on the mountain of pillows on the bed and is slowly stroking himself through this sweat pants.

I grab the closest thing from the box at my feet and hurl it at him.

Unfortunately it's not a piece of clothing.

It's one of my…toys.

I want to die when the plastic dildo falls between his legs.

"Why, baby, I already have a cock. Or is it not satisfying you?"

"I'm gonna finish here," I mumble, turning my back to him.

"If you keep showing me your lovely ass, by all means, proceed!"

I huff and sit down, Indian style, taking my clothes from the box and transferring them to his empty shelves.

"You suck!" Edward protests. "Watch your head!" He adds quickly.

I duck in time for the plastic dildo to whoosh by my head and fall in the box. Funny.

"Ever thought of trying for a basketball career?" I ask.

"Nah. I have good aim. I'm a man, I should find the hole easily."

Living under the same roof 24/7 shows me a new side of Edward.

He's funny as hell and he loves dirty jokes. He exaggerates but I understand that this is his way to deal with the recent events in his life.

When I'm done with my clothes, I go to the kitchen to prepare our lunch.

While we eat on top of his bed, he suddenly pushes his plate away, sighing.

"Do you need anything?" I ask worried.

"Nah. Not hungry anymore."

"What is it, Edward?" I insist, pushing my own plate away.

"You don't understand me. I've been smoking since I was seventeen." He smooths the bed sheet with his palm. "I don't understand why the doctor x-rayed my lungs, but believe me, I don't give a fuck about it. I can't do this anymore."

I pat his hand in understanding.

Dr. Greene had done many tests on him when he was admitted after the crash and on the last check-up, he told Edward that his lungs don't look very well, asking if he smokes. That happened in front of his mother.

So of course, we commonly agreed to stop smoking.

"Yeah, I get you," I whisper, stroking his hand. "I started smoking just a few days before we met," I admit.

"I simply can't quit. A week is too much."

I bite my lip, staring at my fingers. My poor nails have become almost invisible in the past week—and I've never ever bitten my nails.

"I have a box saved in the kitchen. Behind the cereal box." He winks at me.

His mother has taken care of all the boxes of cigarettes in the house when she heard his health was in danger.

I'm aware of that. Our health is at risk, but this is a vice we can't give up.

I find the smokes easily and on my way upstairs, I grab the lighter and an ashtray.

As a few days pass, we finally decide to move the quarters downstairs, to the guest room. Edward calls some people to come and see if they can make some mechanism to help him go upstairs, even if he's in the chair.

Before we decide on moving downstairs, Emmett or Carlisle were helping him go down the stairs, because it took only a try from me to make Edward glad he couldn't feel much. With him in his chair, I decided to try and go down the stairs—step by step. It was a bumpy ride.

Washing him is always a challenge, but I'm getting the hang of it.

I have to park him near the tub—empty tub, may I add. Slowly, I transfer him in there, with help from his side. Thank God he can move his arms. Then I fill the tub halfway and start the process of washing.

There are times when he doesn't allow me to do it, but most of the time, he leans back allowing me to take care of him. I love washing him, and more often than not I end up in the tub with him.

A month later, I realize with all the drama in my life, I forgot to get my shot so after a talk with my doctor, I decide to take the pills. Edward doesn't really like this, stopping him from having sex any time he wants. But I hear it's good for my organism, or something.

Right now, months after staying at home on medical rest, I'm taking Edward to work.

He's been working from home too, but he hasn't come to the company ever since his birthday.

All kinds of emotions are running through me as I park his car in the garage.

"It feels surreal to be back," he murmurs as I help him out and in his chair.

I've become a master at this, because the first few times were disastrous. Edward kept laughing while he told me that he couldn't feel his legs, but he sure as hell felt all the bruises I gave him on his arms and back.

While I'm unfolding his chair, someone approaches us.

"Ah, good to see you decided to join us, Cullen!" Mr. Brown exclaims happily.

Edward scowls. "If you didn't have to go to that meeting tomorrow, I'd still be at home."

"There was a time when you used to stay late at work, complaining there was nothing to do at home. I guess people change," the boss jokes. "Let me help you out."

"That time I didn't have Bella around, and I hadn't discovered how amazing is to work from home. I can wear whatever the fuck I want and can do my job all through the day with no pressure."

"I think your brain was damaged." Mr. Brown laughs.

"That's a possibility."

By now Edward's in his chair and after locking the car, I push him towards the elevator.

"So, what's the doctor said? Any change?" Mr. Brown asks curiously as we step in the elevator.

"He gave me the number of a few therapists. Yeah, like that will help. I doubt anything will change. Just less money in my account."

I sigh heavily, shaking my head to James, trying to tell him to give it a rest.

When we arrive on our floor, James takes Edward to his new office. I walk to mine, thinking that it will be the first time he goes in his new office. I might've ruined his promotion, but I hope I more than made up by decorating the new office.

Only at lunch time do I see him again, and that's because I bring him a casserole of chicken wings and fries.

Poor guy is swamped in papers.

Edward gives me a small smile, but quickly returns to his typing and reading.

"I thought you were hungry," I say, pulling a chair next to him.

"I am, but I need to finish this."

Biting my lip, I slide my chair closer to him. "What if I feed you?" I know how he gets when he's kept from food.

"Don't worry, baby."

"Come on. You won't be hungry anymore and you'll be able to finish writing that report. Two in one. You just have to sit tight there and only open your mouth and chew."

"You're too much." He chuckles, taking my hand and squeezing it. "On one condition—only if you eat too."

"I will, don't worry about me," I promise.

When my phone buzzes on the desk, later, I realize I forgot to leave and go to my team.

"Yes?" I answer, elbowing Edward who's snickering.

"Miss Swan? We're almost done with the advertisement. Can you come and look over it?" Hannah asks meekly.

"Be right there," I tell her, sitting up. I drop a kiss on my fiancé's head before I rush to my team.

At least I'm happy to know he ate today and won't starve himself. I know Edward so well; ever since I was on his team, if we were close to wrapping up, he made us bring food to the team's room in case we were hungry.

As time passes we're pestered to get a move with the wedding. It was a mistake to tell the mothers they could help with the big event.

For instance, just as I'm about to pack my stuff to go home, my phone rings. Figuring it's something important I answer. Big mistake.

"Hey Bella, I was just talking to your mother over the phone the other day and we realized we never talked about your wedding. Did you fix a date for it yet?

"No Esme, we haven't and we won't for a while."

And this is how my nightmare begins...


And we're going to have only present chapters from now on.