EPOV

"I don't know why I'm doing this..." she said, "I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret it later."

"Bella... Just do it!" I said.

"I don't know..." she said and stayed silent.

"Look... It's not like I wasn't aware of your past or something..." she said after some time, "When you asked me out, I didn't think you were serious about your relationship..."

"I was." I said.

"I don't know..." she said, "That's how it looked to me at that time. I also wasn't looking for anything serious, and with you... It's... Nothing was in my hands! I just fell for you! And that changed everything! I started having expectations, and I... I think that spoiled everything."

"You had every right to have expectations from me. That was never my problem." I said.

"I know." she said, "But... There are only a few people I really had expectations from. Mom, Dad, James, and then... It was you. You were slowly becoming one of the most important people in my life."

"Mom and Dad... They..." she sighed, "I don't know why I'm telling you all this..."

"You can trust me." I said, "I'm just trying to understand the problem."

"Dad... He kept cheating on Mom... I got to know that when I was fourteen... So I confronted them... And... Mom told me not to interfere in their matters! She said this was how the marriage works... There is nothing called love. It just happens in a fairy tale!"

"I was kind of heartbroken." she continued, "But I thought maybe she's right! This is how it goes in real life!"

"And then we started dating... And... I wanted more." she said, "I was really in love, and I thought you were in love with me, too. It was early, but I thought this was it! I thought... Maybe we could be different. And then you said..." she sighed.

"What did I say?" I asked.

I had no fucking idea about that, but I had a feeling I screwed up something.

"You said you didn't want to get married... And if you ever do, it will be an open marriage, like James and Vicky's..." she said.


"I thought Vicky was cheating on James, so I kind of confronted her..." she said as she roamed her hand on my chest, "But she said they were in an open marriage, and then James and she laughed at me. It was embarrassing!"

"That's hilarious." I chuckled and kissed her head.

"I don't know why people can stay in an open marriage... I don't get it!" she said, "I expect loyalty... If that's not there, why would you even get married!"

"That's true." I said, "But I think it's very common."

She looked up at me, "Do you also believe in open marriage?"

"Marriage?" I said, "Please don't use such heavy words!" I said as I put the hand on my heart.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean, I can't really see myself getting married... Not anytime soon at least! I can't even imagine! Nope! Nope!" I shuddered.

"Hmmm..." she said as she rested her head on my chest.

"You... You are serious about us, right?" She asked after some time.

"What kind of question is this? Of course I am!" I smiled.

She smiled back.

"Just don't ask for the marriage though!" I joked, "I'm afraid we'll end up like James and Vicky if that ever happens!" I winked.


I wanted to bang my head against a wall!

How badly I had fucked this up!