Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. I own the plot of this, though.
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, views & alerts, loves! Oh, and for the feel of this chapter, listen to Here's To The Night by Eve6. :) Was my inspirational song for this. Thanks again, dears. I hope no one gets offended by this chapter. CHEERIOS!
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Chapter 21
"May I hold your hand?" he whispered.
It seemed so weird the he was asking for permission when in fact, we did this all the time. I, too, felt weird. I couldn't bring myself to hold his hand. Instead, I entwined our pinkies. I've no idea why I was hesitating, but I suppose, somehow –
"It's like everything we do tonight is extra intimate," he said, taking the line straight from my thought train.
"I know," I sighed. "Sorry."
"I'm sorry, too," he said.
Why were we apologizing again?
"What do you want to do?" he asked.
"I'm not sure," I replied thoughtfully. "If I remember correctly, we're not supposed to leave the bed."
"Stupid dare," he mumbled. I chuckled.
"Let's just talk," I suggested.
"Okay," he agreed.
Ironically, the conversation just stopped even when we decided that we would talk. It was a long and awkward pause. I listened to his breathing that seemed to match mine – deep but quick breaths. A few moments after we were handcuffed, the four conniving villains said their good nights and wished us luck. They're mental, I swear they are. The pause extended, to my dismay. I was about to break the silence when he talked.
"How long have we known each other now?" he asked.
"A month, at least," I answered.
"Only?" he said. "I feel like I've known you for so long."
"Perhaps because we're almost inseparable," I laughed.
"And when we aren't together, we talk on the phone or chat or something," he snickered.
"Exactly," I smiled.
"So, uhm," he started. "College Orientation is on Monday."
"Yeah, I didn't forget," I replied awkwardly.
His next question was delivered with just as much awkwardness, "Do you want to go to school together?"
"Sure, just pick me up,"
"Okay,"
There was another uncomfortable pause. I fiddled with the seams of my shirt as I waited for him to say something. In a couple of minutes, he spoke again.
"Have you ever been in love?" he asked. I raised my eyebrows in surprise.
"I don't know," I said. "Yeah, I suppose. You?'
"No," he sighed. "I've never felt anything serious for anyone. I've had my flings with a couple of pretty girls who weren't too intimidated to talk to me, but those were superficial. I sound like some stuck-up player, but I'm not. I liked them, really. I just didn't love them."
"There was one guy I really liked," I whispered.
"What happened?"
"We sort of just fell apart,"
"Sorry,"
"I'm not," I laughed bitterly. "It takes a really long time for me to like someone, but it also takes a really long time for me to get over it. I'm not one for flings, you know. If I won't take it seriously, I don't see the point. No offense."
"None taken," he chuckled. "To answer that, I suppose I was blindly hoping that the next one would mature into something serious. You know, like I keep on telling myself that it may not be some deeply-rooted love now, but it will be in due time. Evidently, I was a fool. None of those worked out."
There was another pause, but not as uncomfortable as the one prior. We both seemed to be contemplating what the other had just said. So the infamous Edward Cullen has never been in love, huh?
"Tell me about them," I requested.
"What about them?" he asked.
"Anything," I whispered. "Everything."
"Okay," he started. "There was this one girl who confessed to me when I was in 10th grade. She was pretty, nice and smart, so we went out for a while. Then we started fighting over small things. It ended after a month. There was this other girl during my senior year. She was the volleyball team captain and she confessed on valentines. We went out then she tried getting physical with me, if you get my drift."
"Wow," I said in awe. "You really are something, Edward."
"Hm?"
"I mean, it's the first time I heard some guy refuse his hot girlfriend sex, you know. It's very, very noble."
"I was brought up well," he smiled.
"Yeah, great," I muttered.
"Is anything wrong?" he asked. "Are you not...?"
"Don't be crazy," I laughed. "Of course, I am. I was brought up well, too."
I heard him sigh in relief.
"I don't get it," I said.
"Get what?"
"You know," I started. "Why teenagers feel the need to have sex. What do you get for it? Momentary pleasure? Bragging rights? Instant gratification? Is that reason enough to give up something as sacred as your virginity? I don't ever want to do it before I get married. It's the only real gift I can give my husband-to-be."
"My sentiments exactly," he said. "I mean, if you're so sure you'd be together forever, what's a few years of waiting compared to an eternity of togetherness?"
"I know, right?" I smiled.
There was another pause. Apparently, we don't only dress alike, we think alike, too.
"So tell me more," I prompted.
"Oh, yes," he said. "There was this other girl I was with for about two months. Everything was great till she started being clingy."
"Cullen doesn't like clingy girls, eh?"
He mumbled something barely audible and very much incoherent. I thought he said something with "don't mind" and "it's you". I must've been mistaken. Another silence stretched on.
"Your turn to tell me about your boy," he chuckled.
"There really is nothing to say," I said. "We were in love and then we weren't. That easy. It lasted a year, though. Good times, good times."
Silence, yet again. This one was the longest so far. I checked the clock and it read one-fifty. I suddenly became hyperaware of his presence beside me. Why? I'm not sure. I shifted my fingers so that our entire hands, and not just our pinkies, were intertwined. He mumbled a thanks and another long silence befell us.
"Cessa," he said so suddenly after such a long pause that it actually startled me.
"Yes?"
"Are you the now-or-never kind?" he asked breathily.
"Yes."
I close my eyes in contemplation. I felt the bed shift and he moved closer.
…And then he kissed me.
