For some reason, Cassiopeia didn't tell her friends about the incident with Ian. She didn't really know why, but she just didn't feel like explaining to her friends what had happened nor listening to their angry advices to break up with her boyfriend. Even though Lily and Mary were rather put out by her reluctance to confide in them, after a while they stopped pressing her to open up.
Nevertheless, for three days, Cassiopeia had to rub bruise-healing paste onto her wrists to treat the dark blue bruises Ian had left on her wrists. She was more than grateful her school robes would hide them since the paste would only speed up the healing process. Moreover, Cass couldn't concentrate on her schoolwork, she barely ate and slept only fitfully, all because she was dwelling on the fact that her boyfriend was a drug addict and sold drugs to other students. When Cass thought about it, she realized she should have noticed much sooner. All the signs had always been there, she just had been too blind to see them.
All in all, she welcomed another shift in the Hospital Wing since it would distract her at least for a while. Consequently, this week was a full moon and she agreed to take her shift on the morning after to help to take care of Remus. She arrived to the Infirmary some time earlier and prepared all of the salves and potions that might be needed. Just as she had everything ready, including a crisp clean cot behind a partition, Madame Pomfrey walked inside, with Remus on a stretcher levitating in front of her. Even at a first sight, Cassie recognized he was in a much worse condition than the month before. Immediately, she spotted several gashes, bites and the odd angle of his right arm. Together with Madame Pomfrey, they eased Remus onto the prepared cot and started healing the wounds.
It was an hour later when the last gash finally sealed itself, creating a nasty scar.
"Miss Elderidge, stay with him while I fetch a Sleeping Draught" Madame Pomfrey ordered and went to the storage room.
"Are you feeling any better, Remus?" Cass smiled at her patient encouragingly and fluffed his pillows.
"Much better. Thank you, Cass, you're going to be a brilliant healer." he smiled tiredly just as Madame Pomfrey came with the potion.
"Now, make sure Mr. Lupin drinks at least half a goblet of the potion. I will be in my office if you need me." Madame Pomfrey instructed her and left again.
"Alright, here it is." Cassiopeia said as she carefully filled a goblet with the dark-blue liquid. "Cheers" she smiled and handed the goblet to Remus. However, just as he was about to down the potion, the door to the Infirmary burst open and James Potter and Peter Pettigrew flew inside, almost pushing Cassiopeia away from the bed.
"Remus!" James exclaimed. "Are you alright? I tried to stop him, Moony, I swear I-"
"Prongs! I know, that's alright." Remus said tiredly and Cassiopeia couldn't do anything but stare in confusion at the three boys, although she felt rather awkward just listening to their conversation.
"What do you mean, it's alright?! It's not! I mean- he knows what-"
Once again, James' rant was interrupted by Remus, this time more forcefully. "I know! It's not your fault, James, not yours Peter."
As James wanted to protest again, the door opened once more and Sirius ran inside. However, to say he didn't receive a very warm welcome from his friends was an understatement.
"You!" James all but hissed. "How dare you slither in here after what you have done!"
"I- I came to say sorry" Sirius said hoarsely and only now did Cassiopeia notice his haunted look.
"Sorry?! Sorry doesn't cut it, you fucking traitor!" James yelled and Cass raised her eyebrows at the exchange. Everyone knew James Potter and Sirius Black were as good as brothers. Never before had she heard about them fighting.
"It was just a prank! How was I supposed to know-"
"Know what? That the wanker would really do what you tell him?! He's been trying to find out for three years, of course he would go after any trace! Just don't tell me you didn't know that!" James screamed, red in the face.
"Dammit, Prongs, I'm just trying to say sorry!" Sirius yelled.
"And I told you that sorry isn't good enough. And don't call me Prongs. No traitor deserves to use our nicknames." James said coldly.
"Remus, please-" Sirius said rather desperately but the werewolf looked away.
"James is right. We trusted you. I trusted you. And you threw it away just for a bit of fun." he said sadly.
"I suppose we should have known. After all, he's a Black." James told his friends, although loud enough that Sirius could hear. Cassiopeia didn't know what exactly had Sirius done to anger his friends to such an extent, but the hurt look on Sirius face caused by James' words made Cass feel rather sorry for him.
"Prongs, you can't mean this." he whispered but James was either too angry to see the look of despair on his friend's face or he didn't really care.
"Oh, can't I? Just as you didn't mean to babble to Snivellus about Remus, I suppose? I mean it, you're no better than your family. And I already told you not to call me Prongs. Now get lost." he said coldly.
Suddenly, Madame Pomfrey's angry voice sounded through the infirmary. "What is the meaning of this?! Mr. Lupin needs to rest, how dare you making such a ruckus? Miss Elderidge, I thought I left you in charge here." she said sharply and James finally noticed Cass was in the room.
"You did, Madame Pomfrey." she said quietly, knowing what was to come.
"Then how can you allow them to disturb the patient? Did Mr. Lupin have the potion?" she asked then and Cass bit her lip.
"He- he was just about to."
Madame Pomfrey tsked in disapproval. "This is no way to become a good Healer, Miss Elderidge. The health and comfort of your patients is your priority, keep it in mind if you really want to become a Healer. Your shift is over for today, so you may go. And I want you three," she threw a glare at James, Peter and Sirius "to leave the Infirmary at once since Mr. Lupin needs to get some rest." she said and reluctantly, the three boys shuffled out, grumbling the whole way. Cassiopeia followed them quietly while observing their behavior curiously. She noticed Sirius was giving the other boys almost a longing look but he didn't dare to try and talk to them again. Once outside, James gave Sirius one last scathing look before dragging Peter away, presumably to get some breakfast. However, Cassiopeia's attention was on Sirius, who dejectedly headed the other way. From the incident in the Infirmary Cass could guess that Sirius told someone about Remus' problem, but for some reason she couldn't help but feel rather sorry for him. That was why she decided to follow him.
It didn't take her much time to find Sirius, he was just in the corridor around the corner, slumped on the windowsill and looking at the grounds. Since he was deep in thoughts, he didn't hear her until she was standing right next to him.
"Hey" she said softly and touched his arm, causing him to jump with surprise. "Are you alright?"
Sirius snorted, though there was no trace of humor on his face. "What do you think?"
"I know. Sorry, it was a silly question. I- I just thought you might want some company but I can leave you alone if you wish-"
"No, no, please stay. Or…maybe we could take a walk?" he suggested and though Cass was surprised, she nodded.
The autumn morning was cold, puffs of fog were still lying on the school grounds, yet Cassiopeia and Sirius were walking outside until they came to the lake. Neither one of them was speaking, but the silence was rather comfortable. Sirius then dried an area on the ground large enough for them to sit on without getting wet and sat down on the grass. Immediately, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up with relish.
"Want some?" he asked and held the pack for Cass.
"I- Ok, then." she agreed, albeit hesitantly, and took one cigarette for herself. "If Lily finds out, she will have a fit, you know." she commented as she lit up the cigarette.
Sirius snorted derisively. "You act as if she were your mother instead of a friend."
"Yes, but I care for her opinion much more than for my mother's." Cass retorted.
"Fair enough." Sirius shrugged. "So…. what's up with you and Jones?" he asked and Cassiopeia fidgeted. Ian was still a touchy subject and she had been glad to forget about him at least for a while. However, for some reason, she realized she didn't mind talking to Sirius about the issue, perhaps because he was involved as well.
"I know what is going on with him, if you mean this." she said stiffly.
Sirius sighed. "I know, I should have told you. But really, it was not my place to tell."
Now it was Cassiopeia's turn to snort. "Just be honest, Sirius. You couldn't tell me because you have business with him going on as well. You said so yourself."
"Well, that too." Sirius admitted. "So, are you breaking up with him?"
"I don't know." Cassiopeia answered truthfully. "Sure, he's been acting like a jerk, but he's... it seems unfair to leave him because he has a problem. Perhaps I could help him."
"You can't really help him, you know? You won't make him. He must decide for himself." Sirius said knowingly, rubbing his arm absentmindly. Cass noticed he was getting fidgety again.
"Just like you did?" She said sarcastically. "I remember you telling me you would cut it after running away from your family."
"It's not that easy. You don't know anything if you think it is." Sirius said angrily.
"Then explain it." Cass inquired. Sirius sighed and for a while he fell quiet. Just when Cassiopeia thought he would not elaborate, he spoke, his voice hoarse suddenly.
"You may decide to lay off the stuff and you might even try it if you are strong willed enough. But then it comes, the craving, the itch, the physical pain. And then the bliss, the relief when you take another hit. They say that Dark Magic is dangerous because once you try it, you don't ever want to stop. I suppose this is the same."
"And is there anything you think might help? Because you can't intend to be on this junk forever..."
"I don't know. I just... don't know. There is nothing else I wish more than stop but... I just can't. It ruined my whole life." Sirius said bitterly. Cass wanted to ask what exactly did Sirius mean, yet she didn't think it wise to press him so she just waited for him to continue. "I suppose I may as well tell you. This whole situation in the morning... but it's a long story."
"I've got time." Cass shrugged.
"You know my brother Regulus," Sirius began and she nodded, urging him to continue. "he's a Death Eater." he said and Cassiopeia gasped.
"What?! But, he's just fourteen!"
"Yeah. I guess Voldemort has no qualms about recruiting kids." Sirius said darkly.
"That's terrible. I'm so sorry. But... what does it have to do with your argument with James and Remus?" she wondered.
"Yesterday, Snivellus was so kind as to announce the joyous news about my brother. I wouldn't have even known otherwise if that bastard didn't rub my nose in it." he growled. "It's my fault and he knows."
"How is it your fault?"
"When I left home, I left Regulus alone with them. I was supposed to be there to protect him from all the shit they have been feeding him. I feel like I failed him."
"Sirius, how can you think it's your fault? How long haven't you and your brother been on speaking terms? I know you feel like you were responsible for him but-"
"I was responsible for him. He's my little brother." He interrupted her angrily. Then he shook his head as if to shake the thought off. "Nevertheless, Snivellus was mocking me and I was, well, my head wasn't very clear, if you know what I mean. I don't even know why I did it. For revenge, I guess. But I couldn't control myself, it was as if I heard myself telling Snape to follow Remus under the Whomping Willow that night. It just seemed like a good idea at that time. But it seemed like a really, really stupid idea once I sobered up a bit, so I told Prongs and he ran to prevent Snape from going. It was too late though, Snivellus saw Remus changing." Sirius finished with a sigh.
Cassiopeia nodded. The whole scene from the morning now made a perfect sense. However, she just couldn't help but feel sorry for Sirius, although it was his fault. "I'm sorry. But perhaps if you told them what you told me..." she suggested but Sirius shook his head.
"You heard James. They won't listen."
Cass rolled her eyes. "Not if you start by telling them it was just a stupid prank."
"I would have to tell them everything. Neither of them know I'm... you-know-what."
"A junkie?" she said frankly and Sirius cringed.
"Yeah."
"Maybe it would be for the best, you know? You said so yourself, you can't deal with it by yourself but I'm sure all of them would help you. And if you ever decide, I would help you, too. Think about it, ok? Now come on, breakfast is almost over." she said. However, Sirius sprang to his feet much quicker.
"You go without me. I have some business to take care of." he announced and marched straight towards the castle, his eyes gleaming. Cass sighed; she was sure he was not looking for his friends to apologize. It was much more probable he would be looking for Ian. With that thought, she headed towards the castle as well, all thoughts on breakfast suddenly forgotten.
Hi again. Yes, I realize this chapter was rather dark and not very corresponding with the Christmas mood but it was necessary. Be prepared for even darker stuff in the future. And I'm sorry for any errors or misspelled words. My spellcheck is not available right now.
