WRITER'S BLOCK. I absolutely hate it. I spent hours in front of my laptop thinking and asking questions like 'What's going to happen?', 'Which character should develop more?', 'How am I supposed to create relationship development in this chapter?', and last but not least 'Why am I asking myself these questions when I should be writing?'. So I told myself, 'I have to stop thinking about thinking; that's not how it works'. Terrible, terrible. Sorry about the delay. I got forced to go to the gym and so I lost hours of writing and thinking (though I could have done that while I was at the gym, but curse my terrible memory). Enough of my rambling and whatnot.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters used in this story nor do I own the franchises Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy
Chapter 8 – Deep in Thought
The first month passed by quickly enough. Classes were normal and no troubles arose from the lessons. It looked like smooth sailing from here on in, but I'm sure that something is bound to happen. Whatever that 'something' is I hope I'm ready for it. In the past month, Kairi had been around Sora more often. There was less time for me to talk to her so I quietly think to myself and drew when I could. The drawings that came of my imagination were simple and uninteresting. Not that they weren't of my expected caliber, but they came out as… not creative. There was at least one drawing of everyone that I knew closely enough and a few landscape sketches. Typical drawings that I make when I'm bored.
It was a Wednesday evening and I was sitting idly tapping my pencil against my sketchbook. I dropped it on the desk and I flipped through the pages one by one. Kairi, Lightning, Hope, Tidus, Noel, Axel on fire, Selphie, Sora, Hayner, Olette, Riku, Pence, Demyx, Wakka, Tidus' long-time crush Yuna. Whoops. I don't think I was supposed to say that. Then there was Roxas. It was the only drawing that I ever drew of him. It was a really nice sketch of him setting a volley. His arms were showing and he was chest was bare in the afternoon sun.
I sighed to myself as I closed the sketchbook and I spun around on my chair. As I was turning I saw Kairi leaning on the doorway. Here comes a lengthy talk about my thoughts and apparent insecurities and whatnot.
"Are you feeling okay Nami?" She pushed herself off the doorframe and walked over to my bed to sit on it.
"Yeah, I'm fine. There's really nothing for you to worry about." Kairi stood up and walked over to where I was sitting.
"Go lie down on your bed sis. It'll help you think better." Think better? Maybe you should do that instead Kai because I have no idea what you're thinking about. I silently comply and I lie down on my bed. I grab my pillow and I hug it to my chest. Kairi sits on the chair and pulls out a pair of glasses. As she put them on, I swore, I saw them glimmer in the light.
"Tell me what's on your mind," she said while taking a notepad and pen out. It looks like she's taking me seriously for once.
"I'm not sure what's going inside my head right now. I feel like there's something that's growing inside, but I can't describe it clearly." Kairi glanced at me quizzically.
"Go ahead and describe it. Maybe we can make something out of it later."
I try to find an instance in my memories when it happens. I mentally flip through my records (yes I see my thoughts as a filing cabinet) and I come across the time when we were at the beach party that Selphie had organized for all the new friends that we made. Roxas was sitting beside me by the fire. I watched him sing and play his guitar beautifully. In that moment I caught a glimpse of what he's really like. But I have a feeling that I need to see more to make sure of it.
"It was that time when Roxas was singing at that party. You know the one that everyone pitched into?" Kairi nodded her head. "I felt like I knew what he was really like on the inside for just a second. I felt… connected." She was scribbling furiously at her notepad. I wonder what she could possibly be writing down.
"But then I also feel unsure. It's going to take more than one instance just to convince myself that Roxas really is like that carefree, bright person he was at the party."
My sister sighed and took off her glasses. I don't know why she even has those. Her vision was fine so I see no reason in why she has to wear them. She looked up and I saw a disappointed expression etched on her face.
She placed her hands in her lap and smiled at me warmly. "Naminé, you need to have some more hope. I know that you're down to earth and everything, but sometimes you need to believe. Give yourself something hopeful to hold on. You never know; it might come true." She patted my hand that was resting on the edge of the bed and went back to her notepad. I was curious to what she was writing so I sat up and tried to look at it.
"What are you writing?"
"It's nothing. Just some observations that I made," she said nonchalantly. Observations; right.
"Then you wouldn't mind me taking a look at it, right?"
"Not exact-." I cut her off by snatching the notepad from her grasp while poking her stomach, where her tickle spot was.
I only needed to take one glance at the notepad to frown at my sister's handiwork. It was a basic sketch of me lying down on the bed, hugging the pillow.
"Really Kairi? You know, I thought you took me seriously," I said flatly.
She took the notepad back and flipped the page. "I did. I just did this mindlessly while I was listening."
She got up from the chair and walked towards the door. "I'm glad that we had this discussion." She skipped happily out of my room. A little too happily if you ask me.
Lightning poked her head into my room. She raised an eyebrow at me. "What was that about?" She walked in and sat down in the same chair that was previously occupied by the redhead.
"She was asking about my feelings. Though I'm not entirely sure why." I tapped my chin in thought.
Lightning snorted lightly. "Wow, can she be anymore vague? By the way did you see her notepad?"
"Yeah. I had a sketch of me in it. And may I add that it wasn't all that good either."
She blinked her eyes at me quickly. "What? I saw a bunch of lines and two lists of what appeared to be names since all the words were capitalized."
My eyes widened in realization. "Great. She made a matchmaking list." I slapped my forehead. Lightning just shook her head.
"Well it looks like she's at it again, isn't she? But then again, she's spending a lot of her time with Sora as well so she might not get around to it."
I feel slightly relieved knowing that my sister won't go on a matchmaking rampage and shove Roxas and me together. That would be the last thing I want considering that I met him only a month ago. Kairi would make things so awkward for me I'd probably die from the anxiety.
I slept on it, thinking about the things going inside my head and how I'm going to clear it up.
The next day started smoothly with English passing by fairly quickly since all we did was analyze short stories in Professor Ienzo's class. Selphie would constantly try to get my attention. Her gum chewing was tolerable, but the whispers were starting to get on the professors nerves.
Psychology was fairly interesting since I have Riku and Xion to keep me company. It's pretty fascinating to hear their stories about their lives on the other side of the island. I know that the island isn't that big, but I don't get around too much so it's like hearing about a new world entirely. Economics was the usual with Kairi and Sora talking. Hope half dozed off during class, but that didn't matter. Whenever he was asked a question to wake him up, he would answer it as if he was actually listening. I don't know how he does it; maybe he's a child genius.
Lunch rolled around and all of us were sitting along the length of the two tables. Across the table was Kairi and Sora, who were explicitly flirting with each other. Beside them was Tidus, who was sipping his Coke idly while Wakka, who was on his left, was spinning his blitzball on his finger. Roxas was on my right with a slice of pizza in his mouth and Hope was on my left writing music. Hayner, Olette and Pence were at the end of the table talking to themselves. Riku sat on Sora's right and Xion was across from him, talking about some concert. It seemed like a relatively normal day. Exciting.
Of course with that said, I jinxed it. Selphie suddenly slapped down what seemed to be a clipboard and everyone at our table looked at her.
Olette nearly jumped out of her seat. She brought herself back together and calmed down. "What's the matter Selphie?"
The brunette flipped her clipboard around showing us a poster. "This!" It read 'Destiny Island Annual Halloween Haunt'.
Wakka stopped spinning his ball and placed it on his lap. "What about it Selph?"
Selphie let out a gasp of horror. "Do you not know me at all?" Her hand dramatically flew to her chest and leaned back in shock. "This is one of the most important and fun events of the year!"
"What else?" Tidus quipped. That really ticked Selphie off.
Selphie's free hand flew up to her face. Then she promptly left the cafeteria hall. Tidus just waved off her dramatic exit. "Eh, she'll get over it soon enough."
"What is the Halloween Haunt anyways?" Sora asked.
Hayner spoke up and took the lead. "It's the annual event on Halloween day at the island boardwalk. It's like a twisted, sinister carnival with weird stuff that goes on."
"What kind of sinister?" Hope asked.
Riku had a scary looking smirk and answered that one with ease. "People would dress up during the event and walk around on the boardwalk. It seems pretty normal except for the fact that some people in costumes take advantage of the festivities and scare people."
That didn't set him off so Hope asked another question. "Well what is there to do?"
"All manners of carnival games with Halloween magic."
"Oh and don't forget," Kairi exclaimed eagerly, "the cornfield maze!"
"Oh that," Riku realized. "That's where most of the scares happen, just saying. It starts at around 9 in the evening when the sunset it halfway done. It casts some pretty creepy shadows over the walls of corn."
Tidus sat back up and raised his eyebrows in surprise, but his voice said otherwise. "And guess what? Selphie wants us to help her."
Wakka slumped over his seat, forehead on the table. "No surprise there bruddah. It's gonna be a living nightmare for the next two week."
And just like that, we left with the ironically haunting thought of helping Selphie with Halloween.
Roxas and I walked to art class together. I had been like this after the first week of school when he asked if I wanted to walk with him to art. I accepted instantly, but I think I replied too fast so it came out like I was really happy about it. It's not like I didn't want him to walk with me. It's just that I wished I didn't seem so eager. Way to play it cool.
We got to class on time and we were painting realistic landscapes at the time. I was halfway through my foreground when Roxas looked over to peek at my painting.
"That's a really nice. I like your river." Wow. Such inspiring words of feedback. I know it's not much, but when it comes from him it's like a positive critic review. Okay maybe I'm stretching it a bit there, but it still means a lot. I blush at his compliment and I look down at my paints and palette.
"Thanks." I go back to my scenery and I continue to paint the forest and river when I catch a glimpse of his painting as he leans back to inspect his work. It was a pleasant picture of a sunset over a quaint town. In the background were the orange sky and a train on a bridge. In the mid and foreground were the shops and houses. It gave off a comforting feeling of home, despite the fact that it wasn't home.
"That's really good," I said quietly. Roxas turns a little too quickly and his paintbrush flies out of his hand and bounces off my nose, leaving a streak of orange across my face. This happens quite often since he seems to be surprised whenever I talk to him in class. He'd flinch slightly before turning around quickly and sometimes whatever he was holding would fly out of his hand. It's a good thing we're not in Food and Nutrition. I wouldn't feel safe if he was holding knives. "What is it supposed to be?"
"It's supposed to be Twilight Town; the town where the sun never sets." He made a grand gesture with his hands as if he was introducing the town to me like a tour guide. "The sun does set, but when it does, it looks spectacular."
"It sure does. It even looks homely, you know what I mean?" I sat up straight on my stool so our eyes were around the same height.
"Yeah." He lets out a sigh and turns back to his painting, his shoulders slightly slumped.
"Do you miss being there?" I could tell that he was somewhat homesick. But I hope he doesn't decide to leave. I really want him to stay me. I mean us. When I mean us, I mean our friends. Yeah friends. That's what I meant.
He looked at me and I saw that the faint sparkle in his eyes has faded away and was replaced by a haze that appeared over them. He seemed distant, like he was daydreaming. "I guess you could say that. I still kind of miss my old friends back at home." He suddenly straightened up and the sparkle in his eyes returned. "But I can't give up. I've made new friends and it's way too early to give up on them now." He gave me a lopsided grin and I smiled back.
"Does that mean you're here to stay?"
"Of course."
The rest of art class was spent in silence as we finished our paintings. We had them framed the next day once they were dried and they were displayed in the hallways of the art wing. Every time Roxas and I walked to class, we would pass our paintings and I would glance at them. Something pretty to look at, knowing that we were the makers of those works of art.
Halloween Haunt! I got the idea from the local amusement park (Canada's Wonderland). DISCLAIMER: I do not own the name or event of Halloween Haunt. Anyways it's kinda early to be writing about Halloween, but who cares? I'll have a lot of fun writing the next few chapters and I hope that you readers will enjoy them. Don't forget to favourite, follow and review!
Until next time~
-Icey
