Same disclaimer applies-Twilight belongs to S.M., but the idea of this story is mine.
Many thanks to my awesome betas and friends - TeamAllTwilight and m0t0b33.
Tissue warning!
Only a week later Edward surprises me with a weekend away. We go to the beach house and even though I love every second there, I miss Seb.
Dad and Sue have offered to babysit him, at our house. I don't know how that one happened, but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Friday night we simply crash, sleeping until late in the next morning. I'm just stretching and figuring out what's going on and where I am when Edward appears with coffee in the room. He has the worst case of bed-hair I've seen at him, and his boxers are hanging low on his hips not concealing his growing happiness.
"Ah, morning!" He grins widely, offering me a mug with the black magic liquid, before crawling in bed and leaning into my side, kissing my forehead.
"Good morning," I whisper, kissing his lips. "This is really nice."
He hums, slurping from his mug, groaning loudly. "Can we spend the day in bed?"
"Clothing is optional, too," I murmur, moving his hair out of his eyes.
Edward places his mug on the nightstand before tugging his boxers off, beaming at me. "You, too, baby."
Needless to say, the whole day is pure bliss. We resurface only for a snack every few hours, but other than that, we make up for the past half a year of quickies which sometimes left me unsatisfied.
Late into the night, Edward mumbles that he's going out for some fresh air. I know what that means—he's going to smoke.
I'm far too sated and relaxed to scold him. After all, nothing I say is going to make him quit.
When fifteen minutes pass and he's not back, I decide to join him. I know how nice summer nights are here.
There are no neighbors that can see me or anything. Besides, it's dark outside, but I still wrap the sheet around me.
I find my husband leaning his elbows on the railing, staring at the ocean, dragging from his smoke. I walk behind him and wrap my arms around his waist.
"Sorry it took so long, but it's nice here. I figured you fell asleep," he apologizes.
"Nah. It's too damn hot to sleep." I kiss his shoulder blades, down his spine.
He turns around a little, tucking me between him and the railing—my back to his chest. "Want a drag?"
"Nah." I don't feel the desire to smoke anymore. "I guess it was just a caprice for me."
"I wish it was for me, too. But it truly calms me and I can't go without one even for a day. Fuck, every few hours. Though, you must have noticed that a pack lasts me a week."
I grin, twisting my neck to kiss his mouth. "I'm proud of you. Maybe, slowly…"
"Nah. Can't give it up, love." He strokes my hair.
We stay there quietly, staring out at the ocean, sharing a kiss or stroking the other's arm for what feels like hours. It's content.
Suddenly, Edward disrupts the content feeling by pressing closer to me, pushing his hard length to my ass. "Wanna fuck here?"
I laugh loudly at his blunt offer. "Make it good."
"Oh, you'll be screaming my name for the whole town to hear it."
"Are you ready to explain to the cops why we were making noise in the middle of the night?"
He steps out of his boxers, pulling my sheet off. "I'm friends with the Chief of Police in this town."
"Why doesn't it surprise me…"
Chuckling, he just shifts a little then plunges into me.
"Edward!" I shout, grabbing the railing tightly.
"Louder, baby." He holds on my hips and rams into me at a fast pace, hitting all the right spots. Deep in my stomach seems to be a volcano ready to erupt. My heart is beating erratically. My breath is coming in short gasps, just like his. Edward's mouth is on my neck, behind my ear, driving me crazy.
When I can't hold myself up on my hands, I lean forward, changing the angle. This causes me to moan every time he pushes and pulls. His hands find my boobs and tug at my nipples.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Right there!" I whine, shuddering under him.
To my horror, he stops, pulling out.
"What? Don't stop!" I cry out, turning around.
Edward chuckles and stumbles a few feet away to the swing. "Come. Straddle me. I guess my stamina isn't as good as it used to be."
I rush to him, making him laugh again. When I jump on his lap, we both yelp as the swing rocks violently almost toppling us over.
"Ooops."
"Don't drag innocent people in you klutzy acts, my dear wife."
I pout, shifting on his lap until I sit on his shaft. God. So good.
Our lips fuse as I brace myself on his shoulders, taking over, chasing our releases.
"Bella! Christ! You feel so fucking good, baby." He grabs my boobs again, kissing and nipping, or just holding them as I ride him hard.
The rocker squeaks and groans, but I can't bring myself to worry about it breaking. I'm too far gone to stop.
And when Edward takes hold of my ass, which hasn't lost much of the pregnancy's fat, to hold me while he raises his hips to fuck me stupid…I fly, screaming his name as loud as I can.
"FUCK!" he yells, as he spurts into me. "Shit!" he hisses, crashing me to his chest, his eyes on light that comes on at the house across the street.
"Ooops?" I whisper, kissing along his neck.
"You'll be the death of me."
There's movement in the house across the street and a man in his pajamas comes out with a rifle. Well, crap.
Edward snatches the sheet off the ground and wraps me in it, pushing toward the door while he tugs his boxers on. "I'll deal with Patrick. Go inside, baby."
I slink inside, my heart beating wildly. But I don't go too far. I want to hear his excuses.
"Oh, it's you!" Patrick, as Edward called the old neighbor, says in relief. "I heard shouting…and Emily said there could be teens thrashing around here."
"Yeah, just me and my wife. Don't worry. We needed a break from the city."
"Everything okay? We did hear screaming."
"Don't worry, Pat," Edward says seriously, glancing over his shoulder toward the net door as if knowing I'm listening. "Only enjoying the free baby time if you know what I mean."
Gosh! I feel my whole body flaming up. To make it worse…there's something running down my leg. Too embarrassed to listen to his excuses, I walk to the bathroom to clean up.
When my husband joins me, I'm in bed, half-asleep. He just wraps an arm around me, bringing me closer, tangling our feet. Even though it's hot as fuck, I love being so close to him.
On Sunday we don't get to sleep in, not like we got much sleep. At some point in the early morning, my man decided to snack on me which led to another hot session of making love.
But I guess sleep is overrated. One of our phones is ringing loudly. I can't even place the ring tone.
Edward shifts behind me. There's more rustling and a grunt from him. The ringing stops.
"'lo?" He yawns loudly, making me yawn too as I roll on my back to look at him. "Oh, hey, Charlie," he mumbles. "No, we were awake."
I yawn again, propping myself on my elbows. "Why did he call?" I whisper.
Edward shrugs. "Yeah, fine. You caught me. We were sleeping," he admits.
Serves him right for trying to lie to a cop.
"Why?' he mutters. "Fine, fine." He switches the phone on speaker.
"I hope Bella's awake too for this," I hear Dad saying.
"I am," I answer, clapping a hand over my mouth as another yawn comes.
"Good! Listen to this!" he says cheerfully.
There's silence on the other side. I share a look with Edward, who shrugs at me.
Someone whispers something I can't make out, then I hear Seb making his sounds. Ah, I miss my baby boy.
"Da-da!"
We both gasp. Tears spring in Edward's eyes.
"What did you say, honey?" he asks on a shaky voice.
I can hear clapping and Seb repeating the word. "Dada! Dada! Dada!"
Something is burning at my insides. To my surprise, I realize it's jealousy…for my husband.
"This is so fucking unfair," I mutter. "I stay with him all day long!"
"How is that for a nice wake-up call?" Dad asks, taking over the phone.
"Awesome," I mutter, eyeing my crazy husband. He's throwing our clothes in the bag. I guess we're going home early. "We'll come back in a few hours. Do try to teach him something else, please."
"He won't say anything else. Actually, Sue was trying to get him to settle, showing him the picture on your nightstand, talking about you when suddenly Seb pointed to Edward and cried out Dada. We were both shocked, and didn't realize he actually said a word." Dad laughs, making my jealousy rage inside.
We hang up, and I help Edward pack because nothing will fit if he simply throws clothes in the bag. It's just a small duffle bag—the one he usually takes at the gym. We don't have a lot with us, because we knew there would be no leaving the house.
I drive home since he doesn't seem to get a grip of himself. Jeez. Who would have thought my tough man would melt at the sound of Junior calling him first.
I guess Vic and James have it easy—Carlton called for his mommy and Cecilia called for her daddy. At the same time. It was an "aw" moment when they told us the story.
I've had my hopes up for Seb calling me, because heck I'm his mommy, and I stay with him twenty-four-seven. Apparently, his daddy is more important.
"Baby, don't be upset," he says quietly as I enter New York City limits. "Next time, it will be your name first."
"He already said your name!"
"I mean with the one we most definitely created in the past twenty four hours," he jokes, making me turn to stare at him in shock.
"You've got to be fucking kidding!"
"Watch the road, baby," he says calmly.
"Did you plan on telling me about this?"
"Wasn't it obvious? I mean, you were there."
I narrow my eyes at him. "I didn't know we were trying, but yeah… I didn't take the pill. You distracted me…for…" I gasp in horror.
"About a month now, I know." He taps his head. "They don't say I'm smart for nothing."
"God, Edward! We're not ready! Seb is not even one year old yet!"
"He will be by the time his sibling will arrive." He winks at me.
By the time we arrive home, I'm freaking out big time.
There are a few more days until I can find out if his mission is accomplished or not. Please, let my period come.
The second we step inside our house, Edward calls out for Dad and Sue. They are in the living room with an agitated Seb. I guess he didn't want to nap. But that's beside the point now.
Edward takes him from Dad, hugging him tightly and kissing his small face, whispering to him.
How much more can I take?
First, Junior calls his daddy first, and then said idiotic daddy plans to expand the family without telling me. But I forget about all of it when Seb cups Edward's cheeks and chants the new word over and over.
*BH*
Two months later, it's obvious Edward's wish has come true.
At the beginning of this week I returned to work, while Seb is with his grandparents. I'm still re-accommodating with everything. Apparently, I shouldn't try very hard, I think to myself as I heave in the toilet for the fourth time today.
After flushing, I step out of the stall and stumble to the sink to rinse my mouth and wash my face. A wave of dizziness hits me. I can't hold anything—not even water.
I want five o'clock now. That's our appointment hour with Dr. Bromer. I've called him the other day and he could schedule me only today.
"Everything okay?"
I turn to see Tanya a sink away, washing her hands.
"Edward loves me pregnant and barefoot," I mutter, splashing water over my face.
"Aw, honey! I'm sure it was an accident. Surely, it's too soon."
"Yeah…he planned this accident. He even distracted me from the pill," I explain. "But I can't say I don't want this. I guess, it's better they'll be closer in age."
"Men always get what they want."
We leave the bathroom together, and I'm not surprised to find Edward in my office doorway, with my purse.
"It's time?" I ask, feeling a lot better.
"Yes. I was wondering where you were," he says, a hint of worry marring his voice.
"I said my afternoon prayers to the toilet gods," I inform him, making Tanya laugh.
Shaking his head, Edward takes my hand, leading me to the elevator. I wave to Tanya, following my husband. I'm a mass of nerves.
Dr. Bromer is going to confirm my suspicious—I mean, what I already know.
The drive to the hospital is quiet. We hold hands over the console. My mind is going a hundred miles per minute, and I can see that Edward is just as deep in thought as me. We discussed room arrangements last night. The house has enough rooms, but we'll need to redecorate, maybe turn the dining room into a bedroom. Moving is out of question with so many rooms—only used wrongly.
Money isn't going to be a great issue, but if he keeps impregnating me…I won't be able to help much. I get money for staying at home and raising kids, but not as much as if I were going to work. And the company isn't doing that well lately.
The doctor greets us warmly, asking how we've been, making small talk. We answer in kind then I tell him about my symptoms. His brows knit in the middle of his forehead, tsking quietly.
I guess throwing up and feeling nauseas so much isn't okay.
After I lie on the bed, he brings the sonogram wand and applying that cold gel on my stomach, he starts the consultation. The monitor is turned away from my line of sight, but whatever is there seems to disturb Dr. Bromer. He keeps glancing at me.
"Is there something wrong?" Edward voices my worries.
"When was your last period?" Dr. Bromes asks me, ignoring Edward.
"In May. We're in August," I tell him.
"And you had pregnancy symptoms?"
"Fuck! Is Bella okay?"
I squeeze my husband's hand, feeling a wave of panic hit me.
"Your wife is okay, Mr. Cullen." The doctor turns the monitor to us. "What do you see there?" He moves the wand over my uterus.
"Uh…nothing." Where the last time was Junior...there's a huge black spot.
"Exactly."
"I'm not pregnant?" I ask, confused.
His face falls, and I feel bile rising in my throat, my eyes burning.
No way.
Please, don't say it.
He immediately starts pointing to the monitor explaining that there was supposed to be someone.
"You see this black spot over here? It's the amniotic sac. The placenta is well developed but there is no embryo in there. This type of pregnancy is called a pregnancy with no embryo and it could have happened because of a few reasons. What you have to know is that it's nobody's fault and that we are going to have to schedule a procedure to deliver your placenta so you don't get an infection. Those can be dangerous if you want future children."
Without warning, I raise and turn on the side, throwing up. I don't even care I'm making a mess.
I killed the baby…somehow. I can't conceive what he just told me—that there hasn't been one to begin with.
The doctor says it's no problem and that someone will clean the floor, explaining why I'm feeling sick. Some bullshit about my failure of a body not realizing there is no pregnancy.
Edward who seems oddly calm, asks why I didn't bleed or something. The doctor answers that everybody reacts differently, that my body thought I was truly pregnant…though there was no fetus.
I tune him out.
I tune everything out.
For what feels like ages.
We go home and I lock myself in the library, curling on the armchair and crying my heart out. I'm aware of Edward calling for me—that I need to eat, that I need to calm down, to let him in.
I can't.
The sun lowers in the sky.
There are voices in the hallway.
I can hear Seb crying for something, but I don't find it in me to get out of here. There's no desire to be close to anyone.
I keep holding my stomach, staring out the window and wondering why did this happen to me.
What's wrong with my body?
At first, I really didn't want to accept that I was pregnant again, but then I figured it would be nice for Seb to have a sibling close to his age…unlike the age gap between Edward and his sisters.
"Baby, I'm coming in!" I hear him shouting. A few thuds in the door, and it gives away. Then he's over me, hugging and kissing me, whispering soothing shit.
Eventually, he just holds me to his chest, rocking me.
It must be painful for him, too. Thinking of that, I wrap my arms around his waist, sobbing in his chest. At least, I'm thinking clearly. It's not his fault, and I need him more than ever so I cling to him for dear life.
The sad thing is that over the next few weeks, I can't even look at Junior, let alone be around him. I kick and scream and fall in a comatose state every time Edward has to leave to work. My mother more or less moved in with us to help with Seb, and for moral support.
When we have the appointment I wish the doctor could give me an anesthesia so I won't know what's going on. I sob my heart out on the way home.
Nothing helps me, though.
I start having nightmares.
They're crazy, in a dark maze of pain I see blood, dead babies, Edward hurt. At some point I wake up in a sweat having had a vivid dream about waking up in a pool of blood with both Edward and Seb dead. To fuel my sudden panic attack, my husband is missing. A short trip to Seb's room makes me sigh in relief. He's hunched over the bed, stroking our baby's back and murmuring to him. I simply return to bed, knowing they're alive.
The miracle that pulls me out of my funk is Spaz. He stays with me day and night—my faithful friend. He understands that I need quiet and just a soul to be close to me, no nagging, not get over it, shit happens and other meaningless words.
One day in winter, when I'm in the kitchen, making tea, Spaz comes to me with his squeaky toy, looking pleadingly. He knows I don't play with him—at least, I've stopped since…it happened.
But today I can't say no to him. Taking my mug of tea with me, I dress warmly and take him in the front yard. I plunk my ass on the stairs and throw his toy a few feet away. He barks, rushing after it, skidding on a patch of ice.
It's the first time in months when I smile.
The ground is covered in snow.
We keep playing until I hear the front door opening. To my shock, I see Mom in the doorway smiling softly at me. But the cause of my surprise is Sebastian. He stumbles over his little feet as he comes to me, arms stretched.
"Mama!"
"Aw, baby!" I hug him tightly, kissing him.
It feels like forever since I just hugged him, smelt him and just loved him. I can't remember the last time I wanted to be around him. Why…I can't remember my silly excuse.
"When did he start walking?" I ask, patting the step next to me for Mom.
"Just last week. I thought Edward told you."
"Yeah, maybe he did." I shrug, swinging baby boy in my arms. "I don't remember." I sob, burying my nose in Seb's hair. "I'm a horrible mommy."
"Sweetheart, it's not easy to go through something like this. At least, you allowed Edward to be there." She hugs me one-armed.
"Yeah. I needed him more than ever, and he was a good sport. But don't deny it, Mom. I've been a horrible mom and wife." I kiss Seb again, feeling tears springing in my eyes.
"Edward is a good man, baby. He loves you so much—he proved that in the past few months. If anyone doubted it, he proved them wrong. This is marriage and life. It has ups and downs."
"This isn't down. This is rock bottom." I sniff, gulping. I don't want to break down again. I've no idea how I can still produce tears.
Spaz comes closer, nudging my knee with the toy. I take it, but before I can throw it away, Seb starts patting the dog's head. It's a little sloppy and maybe a tad too heavy, but he's a great dog and takes it all.
That's how Edward finds us ten minutes later when he comes home. He's been out to get me ginger breads. We've talked about it last night, but I didn't think the crazy, adorable, selfless man would do it.
Everything will go back to the normal that used to be before August. Soon. Not today, or tomorrow. But soon. I'm healing, and I won't spend another moment apart from my baby boy. I need to soak in his laughter and new things he does every day to put the horrible event in the past.
That night Junior refuses to sleep in his bed or be rocked by Mom or Edward. Once he's in my arms, he hugs me around the neck, mumbling my name and settling for the night. Aw, he just needed me.
We're suddenly inseparable. He clings to me, probably having missed my presence.
Only 3 more chapters left.
