Twilight belongs to SM. The light belongs to God, I suppose... I'm just playing with what they created.

Chapter Thirteen: In the Light of Day

I bolt upright in bed, my body covered in a sheen of sweat.

Just like the last time I dreamt of Edward.

And not at all.

Light is pouring in through the window.

The light of a new day...

Instead of the cruel dark of an old night.

Last night.

The one in my dream.

My heart is racing...

Not unlike the last time I dreamt of him...

But not at all for the same reason.

The last time I dreamt of Edward he was in my space.

My most private.

Me.

Between my legs.

That I opened for him.

Let him claim.

Wanted him to.

And this time...

He was in that space again.

In my dream.

My private space.

Mine...

But different.

Between.

But uninvited.

Unwanted.

And I'll never forget the look on his face...

In my dream.

The one that told me he knew.

He'd uncovered.

My secret.

My hell.

My destruction.

Me.

His eyes told me he had claimed me.

My life.

My future.

My past.

That were the same.

Over.

And that lay in his hands.

He held my life in his hands.

In my dream.

The life I threw away.

Because I didn't...

Throw away the evidence of what it had become.

What I had become.

And him...

Edward...

That I wouldn't get to have.

Wouldn't get to keep.

He would leave.

Like them.

But different.

He'd take me with him.

When he went.

Take my hope.

Before he left.

Before he left it.

And me.

To die.

But Edward never left.

Last night.

Not when I could see him go.

Not when I was awake.

Before the dream.

And I wasn't in my bed.

Before.

I wasn't alone.

He was here.

With me.

Holding me.

Trying to get inside.

And I was afraid.

Didn't want to let him in.

But didn't want to push him out.

Didn't want him to go.

Held on when he tried.

Kept him...

For as long as I could.

As long as he let me.

Because he let me.

And because he wanted to stay.

Even though I wouldn't let him in.

Further than he was.

I fell asleep in his arms.

I think.

The ones that didn't let go.

But that aren't here now.

Aren't around me now.

In my bed.

That I climb from still wearing his sweatshirt.

That is.

With my heart on the sleeve of it.

And my fear...

That I won't find him here.

Fear that chokes me when I don't...

Not in the hall.

Or the empty bathroom with its open door.

Not on my couch.

Where I last saw him.

Last felt him.

Or in my kitchen...

Where I find evidence that he was...

Here.

In the light of day.

Because coffee was made.

And left.

Alone.

Like me.

Where is he?

And where is Figaro?

Who should be at my feet by now.

Asking for his breakfast.

Breakfast that he's already been given.

By Edward.

But that he left.

Where are they?

The two men in my life?

The two that I want to be here.

Want to find.

The two that stay.

But that maybe didn't.

I head back into the living room...

With the empty couch.

And the open door.

That I didn't even notice when I went through it.

To get there.

To my kitchen where coffee sits.

And Figaro's forgotten breakfast.

Evidence that he's still here.

Maybe.

That he stayed.

I didn't notice the open door...

Didn't see it.

Because I'm careless.

Not thinking right.

And maybe because I didn't want to.

See evidence of him gone.

Them.

And I step through it now.

The open door.

Follow his path.

Theirs.

In my bare feet.

And a chill runs up my spine.

Because the earth is cold beneath them.

And because I know where he is.

Edward.

I can feel it.

Before I get to it.

Another open door.

The door to my garage.

Edward is in my garage.

And I wish I were asleep now.

Still asleep.

I wish it was still night.

Still dark.

That this was still the dream.

Or a different one.

Any one.

This moment that isn't.

But that I hope has a different ending.

Please...

He turns when I walk in the open door.

My heart in my throat.

Because there's a metal box behind him.

Open.

"Good morning, beautiful."

But not that box.

"You're still here."

"Did you want me not to be?"

"No... I wanted... I... didn't... wasn't... I... "

"You wanted what? You didn't what? You weren't what? What, Bella?"

My words won't come.

To answer him.

To tell the truth.

The truth of my want.

And of my fear.

Of what he might have found.

And what Figaro did.

Because they're together.

He's here, too.

Right at Edward's feet.

With his discovery.

The truth that could take them both away from me.

Because I brought it here.

Left it here.

To be found.

No, Figaro, please...

Leave it alone.

Don't show him.

I don't want him to see.

"What are you doing?"

My question is to Edward.

But my eyes are on my cat.

At his feet.

"I was looking for something."

His answer is to me.

As he scoops up my cat.

With one hand.

"And I found it."

Because he holds a hammer in his other.

And he walks to me.

Away from my secret.

And to all of the rest.

The ones I hold inside.

As he holds my cat.

Who wants to go back to what he found.

Bites and claws to get to it.

But Edward doesn't let him go.

And pulls the door closed behind us as I follow him through it.

Locking my secrets inside.

Behind.

And Figaro out.

Before he puts him down.

To find something else to fill his curiosity.

And his own.

He tosses the hammer to the ground.

And grabs my hand.

And my chin.

"What's wrong, Bella? Tell me."

And I wish I could...

Tell him.

That there was a way he could hear me...

And not.

But I can't.

"Nothing... "

He steps closer.

Studies my face.

In his hand.

Concern instead of suspicion in his eyes.

Gentle instead of hard in his touch.

"Then why are you pale? And sweating? And shaking?"

The truth starts to come out before I realize it.

Before I can stop it...

"I had a dream.. I... it was... "

But then I pull it back.

Replace it with a lie.

"I just don't feel very well."

That isn't really.

Isn't at all.

And another.

That could never be.

"And I thought you left... and... I... I didn't... it felt... bad... worse than... "

I finally manage to stop the words from pouring out of my mouth.

Stop their damage from spreading.

Before it's too late.

Or after.

Because Edward...

He already heard.

Already saw.

Already sees...

And he takes a deep breath.

Lets it out.

Where it flows across my face.

Telling me I said too much.

Revealed too much.

And I'm scared.

And I try...

"I shouldn't have... It's... I... I'm sorry... "

"What are you sorry for, Bella?"

Everything...

"Are you sorry you opened the door? Or sorry that I came through it? Or is your sorrow because I'm still here?"

"No... "

"No what, Bella? Which one?"

"I'm sorry that you don't know me." The one I was before. Before that asshole took everything from me. Before I let him. Before he left me with it. The nothing. Before I found something to replace it with. Before it found me...

"I'm trying to."

I nod.

Because I know he is.

Know he wants to.

And know that I can't let him.

But that I can't find the words to tell him he can't.

Don't want to.

The words to tell him to go.

To tell him he can't stay.

Can't want to.

I can't do it again.

Give someone up.

Give them away.

I can't.

Not him.

This man that showed up out of nowhere...

In my space.

This man that I brought here.

That doesn't yet know that I did.

Doesn't know yet that he came for me.

And found something he wasn't looking for.

In the same place...

As the something he was.

He found me.

Different and the same.

Wants me.

And that means something to me.

He means something to me.

The me inside that I thought had died.

Had found a different kind of something to live for.

Something that I let take over.

Me.

The me that isn't that.

Doesn't have to be.

Isn't when I'm with him.

Isn't at all.

That's not at all what I feel.

With him.

Not what I want to be.

Not what I ache for.

And not at all what I want to live for.

I want to live for me.

The me that wants.

The me that feels.

And wants to feel more.

Because I feel more than I ever thought I would again.

More than I ever thought I could.

More every minute.

For this man who showed up out of nowhere.

For me.

This man whose eyes haven't left my face.

Whose hand hasn't released it.

Or my hand.

Me.

All of me.

Parts he doesn't know he holds.

Or maybe he does.

Now.

When he lets go...

Of me.

Picks up the hammer from the ground.

And a metal stake I now see lying beside it.

And pounds it into the earth.

In my space.

That he just told me he's not leaving.

Without a word.

But says them anyway...

As he takes my hand again...

And leads me into my house.

Waits for Figaro to follow.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella. And I promise you won't be sorry for that. I know now that I never will."

And closes the door.

With the life I want...

Inside.

xx

Yep... it was just a dream. You didn't really think I'd end it that quickly, did you? Edward only just arrived...

As for ending this chapter so quickly... I have my reasons for why I did. You trust me, don't you?