A/N: Hey guys, see this one only took a month and a half! In all seriousness once summer hits I plan on writing a lot more so stay tuned for updates. Also please review! I would really appreciate hearing from you guys. As always our queen and savior JKR owns everything, I am but a peasant.
James was getting tired of this path to Hogwarts, he glanced behind him and saw Moony and Padfoot plodding along. Dumbledore was ahead of them leading the charge toward the castle. The sun was now just starting to cast shadows as afternoon began to settle over the grounds. When they reached the castle Dumbledore and Padfoot went toward the headmaster's office while Moony and James went back to the James' quarters. Dumbledore must have sent word ahead because Mcgonagall met them on the way. James quickened his pace when he saw her and transferring Harry into his own arms when he got close. As he had done earlier James kissed the tip of his son's head and breathed in the very smell of him. Since the night before James could slowly feel himself being crushed without Evans and standing there holding his son lightened the weight slightly.
"Thank you Professor," James murmured toward Mcgonagall. Mcgonagall simply pressed her lips together and nodded, appearing to barely hold it together.
Prongs turned and continued down toward his room, Remus following close behind. When the door was shut Remus watched his friend gently rocking Harry, who was clutching his father's shirt with both little fists, lulling him slowly to sleep. As Remus stepped closer he noticed the tears beginning to make tracks down Prongs' face. Prongs had always been uncannily good at keeping his emotions in check, but here, now, he was letting himself feel the loss of his wife and Remus had no way to fix it. So, he simply sat down and never let his eyes stray from Prongs, who kept swaying with Harry long after the toddler had fallen asleep. Eventually Remus saw Prongs release a huge, shuddering breath, before gently laying Harry into the cot. Then sitting down next to Remus Prongs leaned forward and put his head in his hands.
"What am I going to do Moony, she was my everything."
Remus reached over and simply put a hand on his friend's shoulder, nothing he could say right now would be the right thing.
This was one of the first moments since Voldemort had blasted the door in the night before that James had had a real chance to realize what had all happened. His wife, best friend, was gone forever. He'd always considered the possibility of himself not making it through the war, giving his life for the cause he believed in, for his family but not once had he considered Lily would be the one to die and he be the one to live. As he sat there covering his face, the only thing keeping him grounded him was Moony's hand between his shoulder blades.
"Shit, I didn't take anything with us," James realized lowering his hands.
Moony shook his head, "Prongs, don't worry about that I put together everything you'll need, it's just waiting at the house to be picked up. Which Padfoot and I can do later." He added seeing the panic on James's face at the prospect of going back to the house. "I got Harry's clothes, nappies, favorite animals. I got your clothes, toiletries, blankets, quilts." He hesitated a moment, "Prongs, I got all the photos I could find, I can keep them safe if you don't want to see them yet. If I missed anything tell me and I can get it."
James sniffed, still looking down toward his hands, "That all sounds fine Moony thank you." He started twisting his wedding band around, "Fuck, I'm gonna have to plan a funeral, she deserves something beautiful." James's head snapped up. "No one's told Petunia."
Moony looked slightly confused, "I didn't think Petunia had ever responded."
"She didn't but Lily sent the letters anyway. Always hoped Petunia would just give her a chance. If nothing else, Petunia should know that know she's lost that forever." James stood up and walked toward the cot. "Moony, I need to do this, I'll be back by dark." He kissed the tips of his fingers and brushed them against Harry's forehead mindful of the fresh cut. James took a deep breath at the door before leaving to walk back down to the Hogsmeade apparation point.
Remus watched from the window as his friend went down the path and disappeared through the gates. He stayed in that spot long after Prongs was gone, staring into space until he heard the door open behind him and Padfoot came in looking dead on his feet. Going swiftly across the room Remus tightly hugged his friend. He was well aware things could have gone very differently tonight and any or all of his friends could be dead or in Azkaban. Padfoot was momentarily shocked by the physical contact, as he always was, before he returned the embrace.
"Where's Prongs?" Padfoot asked after the moment had past.
"He's gone to tell Petunia what happened, seemed pretty determined about it too. Didn't even let me begin to talk him out of it before leaving."
Sirius knew nothing could have stopped Prongs once he'd made up his mind, so he nodded and went over to the cot where Harry was starting to wake up and picked up his godson. As it had done with both James and Remus holding Harry seemed to center Sirius, remind him that not all had been lost.
"Ok Moony, I can't just sit in here until he gets back there's got to be something we can do, anything."
Moony sighed, "Well, we can go to Godric's Hollow and get all of Prongs and Harry's stuff. After that we could start planning the funeral, even if it's just the basics I think Prongs will need the help."
Sirius just nodded and sat down still holding Harry to his chest, "Let's get that trip done, Lily deserves something beautiful."
James kept his head down, walking briskly up Privet Drive toward number 4. As he walked toward the door he could almost smell the antiseptic coming through the walls. James took a deep breath before knocking on the spotless white door. After a moment he heard light footsteps coming, Petunia answered it already looking miffed that someone dare potentially interrupt her precious son's nap even though she knew an earthquake wouldn't have woken him, her mood didn't improve when she saw who was standing on her doorstep. In fact, she tried to close the door and the only thing the prevented it was his foot.
"Petunia, trust me when I say you want to let me in, because I will yell it through the door otherwise."
Flaring her nostrils Petunia opened the door enough for James to slip inside. He didn't hesitate to walk through the entryway into the living room where he waited for Petunia, who was now completely irate at the thought of not only a stranger, but a wizard on top of it being in her house. Once she was also in the living room James sat down at looked at her and waited till she did the same.
"Did you even read them? I watched her send you letter after letter getting hopeful every time that you might decide to remember you were sisters. I watched her try to hide the tears every time weeks went by without any response from you." His voice was slowly building with his anger. "She loved you so much Petunia and all she wanted was a second chance, you were the only family she had left and you couldn't find it in your heart to just bloody get over it." James's eyes never left Petunia's.
Petunia shot to her feet, "My sister is a freak, who can't stand the thought of just acting normal. Heaven forbid I don't get along with Mummy and Daddy's favorite."
James looked down for a moment before quietly saying, "She's dead Petunia. She was killed last night saving our son." He looked up and it looked as though Petunia had shrunken into a shell at his words. "Though you might not give a damn, I thought you should know, seeing as how she wanted to know you so badly." He stood up and started back toward the entryway. "The funeral is in a few days in Godric's Hollow." He said over his shoulder.
Petunia stared straight ahead, blinking when she heard the door slam behind James. She couldn't move, she'd say he was lying but one only needed to look at him to realize that wasn't the case. How could Lily be so stupid? Petunia felt herself get up and go toward the cupboard below the stairs, the one rarely used it for anything but rubbish. She knelt down and took a shoe box out, setting it down on the floor next to her. Taking the lid off of it she stared at the pile of unopened letters piled neatly in the box, the most recent from only a few weeks before. Petunia began to cry.
James looked around, the leaves were just beginning to fall from the trees, they were still full of color, many a similar red to Evans' hair. Honestly, he was looking anywhere but the casket in front of him. When he'd arrived back to Hogwarts, he'd walked in on Padfoot and Moony finishing up the funeral plans, Merlin he was lucky to have them there was no way he'd have been able to get through any of this alone. James held Harry a little tighter, barely listening to the short wizard presiding over the service. There were lilies of different colors atop the casket along with one daisy James had put there himself. The motion of the wizard waving his wand and the casket that carried his beautiful wife being lowered into the ground brought him back to the present. Once completely lowered James waved his own wand and the mound of soil next to the grave neatly piled over the grave. The wizard tapped the white marble headstone and James saw her name along with dates of birth and death appear in the stone. Underneath that was a phrase he had chosen, "The last enemy to be conquered shall be death." He wasn't sure where he'd heard it, but somehow it just seemed to fit.
Once the other funeral goers had turned and were leaving James walked toward the fresh mound of dirt and dropped to his knees, gripping the soil with one hand and Harry with the other. The tears he had tried his best not to let out for the last few days began to flow with a fervor. He was keenly aware that this was the closest he would ever to be to Evans again. This was the closest he'd be to the only girl he'd ever loved. Six feet was the closest he could get.
Vaguely he heard leaves crunching on either side of him as Moony and Padfoot also knelt. James saw there were tear tracks running down their faces as well. Moony, being always prepared, pulled out multiple handkerchiefs and dispersed them to his friends. Harry reached for Moony and snuggled into his shoulder immediately.
"Prongs, Padfoot and I had an idea," Moony looked up from the toddler in his shoulder as he spoke.
"Yeah, we were thinking that neither of our places are big enough for both you and Harry full time, but Grimmauld place is. It would need a lot of cleaning up, but I think the three of us could do it." Padfoot ventured hesitantly.
James felt a bit confused, "Pads you hate that place, that's why you ran away."
"Technically, I ran away because my parents were shit, what I mean Prongs is it's a ready-made place for you and Harry to disappear for a while. My parents made it unplottable and I guarantee there's nothing in that house we can't get out between the three of us."
James looked back and forth between his friends, "If you're both sure, then ok, merlin knows I can't go back to our house here anytime soon."
James gave the soil one last pat before standing, he turned toward the gate of the cemetery and saw a tall woman looking entirely too proper even from this distance. When she'd seen him standing she'd begun to walk away. James had a pretty good idea of who she was though.
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