A/N: Oh, reader-types, I do love to hear from you all. Your reviews make me smile, especially when they're telling me I'm writing awkward characters well and that y'all understand why I'm making problems in our favourite relationships ;) Now, on with the show, and for those keeping score, I estimate this story (the last in the trilogy!) to have eight to ten chapters left in it :)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 23
"Hey, Luke? You still in there?" asked Jess, wearing a smirk a mile wide, almost tempted to tap his uncle on the forehead as well.
Now probably wasn't the time for humour, especially when Luke's reaction was going to be less than happy. Of course, Jess had gained a little confidence in his decision about leaving Yale since he talked to Lorelai about it. Even if Luke did blow up, Jess had a feeling Lorelai would back him and everything would get smoothed over. The fact was, he wasn't going to know what Luke was thinking until he actually spoke.
"Don't be a wiseass," he said with a patented Luke Danes look. "I'm... processing, I guess," he said, waving his hand in a random gesture.
Then he got up and paced the living room a couple more times.
"Okay," said Jess more to himself than his uncle, waiting some more, until finally Luke had decided what his opinion on all this really was.
"Well, I guess if you really don't think college is for you then that's your choice," he said, heaving a sigh. "You tried it at least and you seem to have some kind of alternative plan, so all I can really say is okay. If you feel like this is what you need to do then I support you, Jess," he told him, sitting down on the arm of the chair.
"Thanks," his nephew replied, smiling now and unable to help it. "I just... I didn't want you mad at me or thinking that I'm not grateful, you know?"
"I'm not mad and I don't think that," Luke promised him. "I just want what's best for you and I figured that was college, but it's not everybody's path. Wasn't mine," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Even if your grandpa hadn't've got sick the way he did, I can't really see me sticking it out. Of course, I was never as smart as you are."
"You're smart enough," Jess assured him. "But it's like you said, college isn't for everybody. I just don't fit there. I wanted to, for Rory and Paris, for you, even for me, I guess, but it's not working."
"Then there's no point in you wasting any more time or me wasting any more money."
"That's what I thought, but like I said, I'll finish out the year, it's paid for anyway and it'd be cool to complete my classes, and then, move on."
"If that's what makes you happy, Jess, then that's fine with me."
Jess could hardly believe how lucky he was to have Luke for an uncle. He certainly hadn't done too well in the parental lottery. Jimmy was a decent enough guy but running out when Jess was first born remained one of the scuzzier things any father could do to a kid. As for Liz, her latest visit only made Jess all the more certain that his life would've been a real mess if he had continued living with her. She was one of the least stable people he had ever met and though he loved her, the way a son couldn't help but love his mother, he couldn't deal with her all the time.
Luke was the kind of parent everyone should have if they could manage it. Jess hoped his uncle knew how grateful he was for the support, even when it was tough for him to say so.
"Well, I guess I have to see Liz and the amazing TJ again before I head back to Yale," he said then, blowing out a long breath.
"Yeah, you probably should," Luke agreed. "I should get over to the diner anyway. I can't leave Caesar and Lane alone to deal with things for too long."
"Hey, if you want, we could split the pain up some," Jess suggested, getting to his feet when Luke did. "You cover the diner, I'll visit with the crazy gang, then we'll switch. Means neither of us goes complete nuts and the diner is never short-staffed either."
Luke smiled and patted Jess on the shoulder.
"Sounds like a plan, nephew," he agreed.
Though it was never going to be an ideal situation for either of them, Luke and Jess did stick to their plan and did both make it through without anybody going nuts or getting badly hurt, including TJ, which was definitely a miracle. As afternoon turned to evening, Jess said he really ought to be getting back to school. He had an early class Monday so he shouldn't stay another night.
Liz made a huge deal of hugging and kissing Jess, calling him her baby boy and telling him how proud she was. He never mentioned the whole dropping out of Yale thing. Quite honestly, he didn't see it as any of her business. She hadn't encouraged him to go to college or paid the fees, that was all Luke, and so far, it was only him and Lorelai that knew of Jess' plans. Jess was going to have to tell Rory pretty fast, because despite Lorelai's vow of silence, doubtless she or Luke would be overheard discussing it with each other or something and the whole town would know within a day or two. That was just the way things worked in Stars Hollow. Job one when he got back to Yale was to tell Rory his news and then Paris too.
Since they lived in the same dorm, Jess had hoped to only make his speech once, but when he arrived at their door late on Sunday he found Rory and no Paris.
"I guess she's still with Doyle," his girlfriend told him.
"You guess?" asked Jess, frowning some. "Wouldn't you know? I mean, you've been here all weekend, right?"
Rory opened her mouth to answer and then closed it again fast. She was supposed to have been in her dorm all weekend, but as a matter of fact, she hadn't been at all. There was no reason why she shouldn't tell Jess what had happened, except for one, and his name was Logan.
"Rory?" Jess prompted, wondering what the weird look on her face was all about. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," she promised, though to Jess' mind she didn't look it.
From his place perched on the end of her bed, he watched Rory close the door, go towards her desk chair, change her mind and start pacing a little. It was like Luke and the Yale announcement all over again, expect Jess hadn't had a chance yet to tell Rory his news. Clearly, she had some announcement of her own to make or maybe some bad news she had to tell him. A hundred different scenarios ran through Jess' head, everything from Rory being pregnant to her wanting to break up with him. Right now, he wasn't sure how he would deal with either of those.
"I, er... I was going to be here all weekend," she said then, tucking her hair behind her ears with both hands. "That was the plan, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't have told you that it was the plan."
She laughed nervously and Jess felt his heart drop to his stomach. Something was wrong, he was sure of it now. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he just wanted Rory to spit it out already and get it over with or if he would rather bolt for the door and never hear whatever awful thing she had to tell him.
"So," she said eventually, "you remember when we joined the paper and I had that idea for a really great story?"
"An expose on the secret society," said Jess mechanically, noting that Rory still wasn't looking directly at him and suddenly having a horrible feeling he knew why. "Huntzberger was going to give you the story."
"Well, he was going to give me the information I needed for the story," Rory explained, "but not just Logan, his friends too. Anyway, they came by this weekend," she went on, pacing some more, looking at the carpet way too much. "They invited me to an event they were having which would give me the chance to gather all the intel I needed to write the most amazing piece for the Yale Daily News."
She dared to look at Jess now, her expression somewhere between nervous and hopeful. Rory knew he wasn't going to be thrilled knowing she spent a lot of time with Logan, even though he ought to trust her enough not to care. Probably the larger issue would be that she had been other than where she had said she'd be and maintaining impressive radio silence.
Rory was sure that at some point Jess would've called or sent her a text of some kind, expecting she would reply eventually, but up to now she hadn't managed to check her phone, not since she left for the Life and Death Brigade event yesterday afternoon.
"They make you leave your cell behind?" asked Jess, looking less than thrilled.
"Um, no. Technically it was there, but it had to be switched off. Rules of the deal."
"Huh."
"Jess, please don't be mad about this," she urged him, coming over to sit beside him. "You know this story was a big deal for me, and after everything, you do trust me, right?"
"With my life," Jess promised her. "I just don't trust Huntzberger, that's all, and I really wish you could've told me where you were."
"I didn't really get the chance, it all happened so fast," Rory explained. "Besides, you were in Stars Hollow and I was here, I figured it didn't make any difference if I went out for a while."
"It doesn't. I'm not your keeper, Rory, and I'm not trying to be," said Jess, shaking his head, "but if this was so important, how come you didn't want to tell me about it? I tried to call you. In fact, I lost count of the number of text messages I sent, practically begging for you to come rescue me."
He got up off the bed so suddenly, Rory almost pitched over into the space where he had been a moment before.
"Rescue you?" she echoed, staring up at him in confusion. "From Stars Hollow?"
"From Liz and her latest freak of the week," Jess told her crossly. "I was pretty much in hell over there and it might've helped if I could've at least talked to you about it. I mean, geez, you and Paris have spent months, years even, trying to get me to talk it out and the one time I have something to talk about, radio silence, twice over."
"I'm sorry," said Rory sadly. "Jess, you know if I'd had any idea... you know I'm always here for you," she told him, getting up and putting her arms around him.
Jess sighed and let himself be hugged, his own arms sliding around Rory's back and keeping her close then. He didn't want to be mad at her, it was the very last thing he wanted, and he supposed her minor revelation could've been a whole lot worse. So, she went out with Huntzberger. There were plenty of other people there too, male and female, and Rory wasn't dumb enough to do anything she shouldn't or didn't want to.
"Did you and your mom fight?" she asked, moving to meet his eyes.
"Not really." Jess shook his head. "Mostly I played avoidance tactics. Luke helped. Actually, your mom was pretty cool too. She let me sleep over in your room," he told her with a smile that was far from innocent.
"Seems like such a waste for you to be in my bed when I'm not there," she told him, somehow succeeding in making herself blush into the bargain. "Of course, we're alone right now and I'm not expecting Paris back for a while..."
When she leaned in to kiss him, Jess couldn't deny her, but he was mindful of where this situation was headed. He had come here for a reason and as much as he loved Rory and certainly didn't object to the idea of falling into bed, this wasn't why he dropped by. He really ought to make his own confession since she had already made hers.
"Rory, we have to talk," he said between kisses. "As much as I'd rather do this, I gotta get this out."
"Wow," she said, pulling back. "That sounds serious, and you look very serious."
"It's okay, it's nothing awful, I promise," he told her, brushing her hair back off her face where it had fallen down. "I, er... the main reason I went home this weekend was to talk to Luke about some stuff. Plans for the future, that kind of thing."
"Plans for the future," Rory echoed. "Well, whatever your plans are, they include me, right?"
"I shouldn't even answer that question on the grounds of it being possibly the dumbest thing you ever asked me," he told her, rolling his eyes. "Yes, Rory, my future plans include you, in a very large way. I can't believe you even had to ask."
"Sorry," she told him, smiling in spite of herself. "So, future plans, with me in them."
"Well, you're definitely there, there's no question on that, but as for Yale? Not so much."
Jess watched her eyes go wide and her mouth drop open. He had definitely shocked her, and Rory wasn't easily shocked. Fortunately, she seemed to lose all sense of speech for a few seconds, giving Jess time to further explain.
"It's not that I can't deal with the classes or that I don't love seeing you and Paris all the time, but you know as well as I do, I'm not cut out for college, Ror. This was never my dream. It's not making me happy."
She closed her mouth as the surprise faded, then she just looked kind of sad.
"I know," she admitted, nodding her head. "Honestly, when we first started, I half expected you to regret it within the first month, but then things got better. You seemed not to hate being here."
"I don't hate it," he assured her. "It's not about liking the place or the teachers or even the classes. I could do it, I just don't want to, at least not after this first year. You understand, right?"
"Mmhmm," she said, lips pressed together, eyes getting glassy.
Now Jess really wished she hadn't lost her words and found tears instead. He hated that he was causing Rory to be upset, but he had to do this. For once in his life, Jess had to do what was right for him, not for Liz or Paris or Luke. He had a chance to make his life what he wanted it to be. Yale just wasn't it.
"So, what do you say, Gilmore?" he said then, trying for humour to cheer her up. "Think you can stand to date a drop out?"
"You won't be a drop out, Jess, or a quitter," she promised, swallowing hard. "You're just going to take a different path, that's all, and whatever it is, I'm going to be there to support you, always."
It meant a lot to hear her say that and Jess hoped the way he hugged and kissed her then proved it, because honestly, his words had also gone away now, and if he really had to try to form any, he had a feeling he was going to come close to crying too.
Rory was as good as her word when it came to supporting Jess. She made sure she was there when he had to tell Paris about his leaving Yale when Freshman year ended, because there was no doubt he was going to need somebody in his corner then. Paris did make a big speech about the advantages of a college education and then grilled Jess for a good hour on what he had planned to do instead. After assuring her that he was probably going to take a couple of classes at the community college to help him along, and planned to have a more credible job than being Luke's hired help at the diner, she seemed willing to let it go. She even admitted that she understood his decision.
"Not everybody is cut out for the academic rat race. You can do it, I know you can, but if your heart's not in it, then I guess your being happy is more important to me than having you around 24/7."
It was one of the nicest things she ever said to him, and yet Jess was quick to tell her she was a sap for bothering. She called him a delinquent drop out and his response was 'I love you too, sis,' so Rory knew no real harm had been done.
From that day on, Rory just seemed to be busy all the time. As if her workload hadn't been large enough already, it seemed to intensify as the next week wore on, making her wish she really hadn't promised an epic article to Doyle for the Yale Daily News, and that she hadn't skipped out on her reading and studying this weekend to go camping in style and jumping off a scaffold.
The guilt wasn't helping. Every time she sat down to go through her notes, work on her article, or even take five minutes to think of the fun she had with the Life and Death Brigade, Rory's stomach tied in multiple knots. She told Jess about the trip, about paintball and sedan chairs and even jumping from the scaffold with an umbrella in her hand - that last part even impressed him - but she never showed him the photographs and she never mentioned the moment Logan kissed her.
Rory thought she would feel better if she could talk to her mom, but somehow every time she tried to call, Lorelai was never home or at the diner or available on her cell. Rory was reduced to brief emails, which her mom did reply to, but that really didn't seem like the right way to discuss potentially cheating on her boyfriend.
Besides, Rory was just so busy, she would never have had time to type all of that into an email. Every day seemed to being more reading, another essay, a further assignment. She didn't even see Jess as much as she would've liked to, which seemed terrible after learning he would be gone from Yale when the end of the year came. Unfortunately, it just couldn't be helped. If she wanted to keep up, she had to keep going.
It really didn't help when her advisor asked her to drop by to talk. Rory couldn't imagine what that was about and didn't exactly have the time to spare, but she figured it might be important so maybe she should make time. She had a few minutes between classes so went to the office on the off chance and knocked on the door. She was actually smiling when she got ushered inside, but her expression had changed vastly by the time she exited no more than ten minutes later.
Rory tried her mom's number first and when she got no reply she called Jess' cell which also went to voicemail. That was when the tears came. It was so embarrassing to be sobbing in the hall way, seen by most everyone to be falling apart. Rory took off at a run, out through the swing doors into the fresh air. She realised a little too late that her dorm was in the complete opposite direction. Turning to go back she didn't look properly and ploughed straight into someone coming the other way.
"Hey, where's the fire?" asked a familiar voice. "Ace?"
"Logan," said Rory, more of a gurgle than his name as she fought to see him clearly through her tears. "I'm sorry, I..."
"Hey, what's going on?" he asked, eyes full of concern. "Rory, talk to me. What happened?"
"I'm so stupid!" she cried hopelessly, tears well and truly overtaking her.
Logan pulled her into his arms in a moment and held her as she cried. Of course, he was more than a little aware that people could see them and for the sake of Rory's embarrassment as much as anything, he ushered her inside. He took her straight to his dorm, since it was closer than her own, and was glad to find nobody there.
"Come on, sit down," he told her, closing the door behind them.
A bottle appeared from some secret place and then he was thrusting a glass into Rory's shaking hands.
"It really should be brandy but this is all there is right now," he explained, joining her on the couch. "Now, what happened? Is there somebody I can call, or maybe punch in the face?"
Through her sobbing, Rory giggled at what ought to have been a joke. She felt so stupid, making a real show of herself in public and all over something so simple as a class-load that was crushing her. This she explained to Logan in short order, hiccupping and sniffling all the time, and drinking down her large scotch that was oddly comforting even as it burned her throat.
"And I know it's dumb to be so upset about dropping a class. I mean, people do it all the time and it's not like I have to leave Yale or anything, it's just one class, but... but I feel so stupid!"
Logan had his arms around her again in a moment as Rory cried it out into his jacket. It was all too much, the work, dropping a class, not being able to reach her mom for a week, and knowing Jess was dropping out soon. She was crumbling under the pressure, trying to hold it all together and failing. It was a great relief to be able to let it all out like this.
"Hey, you are far from stupid, Ace," Logan promised her, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head. "I've met a lot of women in my life, a lot," he emphasised, hoping to make her smile even a little and pleased to see he succeeded, "but on the smart scale, you rank right up there in the top ten, easily. Probably top three, but we'd have to better acquainted for me to be sure."
"Better acquainted?" she echoed, peering up at him with damp, red-rimmed eyes.
They were close, so close that she was going a little out of focus before Logan's eyes.
"Ace, I didn't..." he began to protest, but not strongly enough it seemed.
This time, she kissed him.
To Be Continued...
