Allina sat in a small room, with only a television, bed, and dresser in it. That dresser was small, low to the ground with several long drawers. It had an enormous mirror on it as well. There were small hammocks hanging from the ceiling in every corner, overflowing with fluffy stuffed animals. Enormous dream catchers with pictures of wolves as the centers hung randomly throughout the room. The single source of light was from the overhead fan, and blackout curtains hung over the one window. Drawings were taped to the walls, and even the door itself had its own decorations, done in paint, with drawings taped over that.

Awa sat on the bed, clicking away on her phone. Undoubtedly talking to Al's cousin to make up for the fact that the woman wasn't here. Al herself was sitting propped against the wall closest to the closet without touching the actual door, seeing as it wasn't secured to anything and the slightest pressure could send it toppling over. She was wrapped in a tan blanket, decorated with an image depicting a man riding a horse in mid-buck. Wrapped around her under that was a blue blanket, and clutched to her body was a pillow. Beside her sat a pink suitcase with lime green and yellow lines decorating it, and on the side was a thick amount of duct tape. She's had that thing since she was seven… It was beaten and a tad dirty.

"So what's up? You eat yet?" Awa's voice was a tad distracted and bored. Doubtlessly, she'd already eaten. This was the usual line of questioning that happened during the start of their visits. You eat yet? How are things? What do ya wanna do? Eventually, though, they'd start drawing, or Awa would take her paints and canvases out, or just the paints. She had needles she kept in the paint box, along with thread. She tended to sew her fingers together, whether someone was watching or not. That, or she'd cut X's into her hands with the needles. She also kept knives between the mattresses of her bed, and would press the tips under her cuticles or dance the blades along her hands. One time she nearly took a finger off, and Al had to find her a rag to help stop the bleeding. There was still a scar, a line of paler skin that ran horizontally across the finger.

"I'm good, thanks. So what about our graduation plans? Doing something special? Like…dying the football teams' uniforms pink or spray painting all over their field in the middle of the night? Maybe throwing Molotov cocktails through the windows of the Middle School, or…a party?" Al leaned forward, hitting her suitcase so it would fall forward, then unzipping it and pulling out her sketchpad. She heard a short laugh, but the clicking and buzzing of the other girl's phone never ceased. She remembered the one time they'd lain there in the dark, texting each other from three feet away and grinned. Sure, they could've just talked, but they didn't. They just messaged each other for hours before finally getting up and going to eat. Well, Awa had gotten up; Al had laid there on her pallet and rolled, hungry but unwilling to abandon the comfortable warmth of her wad of cushions and blankets. It was an unreasonable fear of ants and spiders crawling around near her head that had finally gotten her up. Well, that, and Awa's threat to stab her. That had a little influence on her final decision to shove the blankets away and get up as well.

"Or we could have Sherri come over and shove her into the pool." That sounded like a good idea as well, and Sher could probably use the bath, knowing her. Though Al's skin crawled at the idea of touching her… Not that they weren't friends, the girl was just nasty, and Al couldn't get over the time she'd looked over at her while sitting in the cafeteria one morning to see a bug crawling in her greasy hair. That had freaked her the hell out.

Allina found herself momentarily glancing at the window, hearing something outside. Awa didn't seem to have heard it, though that wasn't much of a surprise. She probably didn't hear anything while texting with Tennie. Al sometimes wondered if they didn't have some sort of weird thing going behind her back, since they were always together, and if not then they kept up a constant message stream. It was a little irritating, since Al herself could barely ever get a response from either of them anymore. Tennie never answered her phone, and Awa's responses were dwindling. It was…frustrating, since Al had been the one to introduce them, to feel like they were both completely forgetting about her because they were so caught up in each other. Ungrateful wretches, really. During Junior High, they'd ignored her for an entire year. A YEAR. At lunch, before school, on weekends…never answered either of their phones or acknowledged her presence in the room, but whenever she called the actual house she would always be told they were hanging out. The two girls had even taken to lying to her.

For instance, Tennie had told her that her mother was sick so she couldn't hang out one weekend. That Saturday evening, she called the house to check and see how she was doing. Her mother had answered, and had no idea that she was apparently sick. She did mention that Ten was actually at Awa's house and had been since Friday afternoon. Al had been so mad after that…and hadn't forgiven them, though they both still denied the lie so she didn't feel the need.

Her teeth ground together, irritation bubbling steadily. Okay, bad thought path. She sighed and flipped open her sketchpad, digging for a pencil. Starting a single line as was how she usually began to draw, she started sketching out a tall woman in a kimono, mid-dance, lengthy hair tied back yet still reaching well past her back. She wondered if she could pull off a background, but instead decided not to risk ruining the whole image with something she'd never been able to pull off very well. Minutes passed in silence, aside from the dance of her pencil on the drawing paper and the click of Awa's phone. Eventually, the hum of a TV being turned on joined the mix of sounds, and cartoons played across a screen.

"Girls?" There was a knock at the door. The shifting of fabrics told her Awa was getting up, and after a moment she was thumping over to the door, pulling it open and standing in the doorway. Brennan, her dad, pushed the door open anyway. "Not planning world domination again, are you?"

"No, dad." Awa shook her head, grinning like a little devil the whole time. "That's tomorrow's discussion."

After two days passed, Al finally went home. Well, 'home', if she was honest. She practically lived at Awa's, whenever she wasn't being preoccupied with Tennie - bad thought path, dang it - and wasn't really comfortable anywhere else. There weren't many others she enjoyed being around. She could have stayed with Harriet, but she didn't enjoy the stuffy house her other cousin lived in, even if she adored the girl. She also didn't want Harriet at her house, for fear of her having to deal with Al's family. NO ONE deserved that kind of torture, especially not a friend.

She had to get ready for graduation, since it was tonight. Awa was picking her up and taking her to the ceremony, to make up for the fact she couldn't count on her family. She walked in the front gate, not afraid of anyone seeing her today. That was when she noticed the car parked in the driveway, and her stomach did a little flop. She drew in a breath, holding it, dread curling through her as she slowed her pace to the door. No rush to get in. But she caught something moving at the window, and before she got to the stairs leading up to the front door of her house the front door and screen door came flying open, her mother stumbling around and then leaning back against it.

"Welcome home, honey," her mother's voice, unslurred. "Where's your friends?"

"Home, getting ready for graduation. Like I should be." She tapped quickly up the five steps onto the deck, shouldering past the woman quickly. Not fast enough, though, because slender fingers wrapped around her wrist and tugged her back, door slamming shut behind her.

"And where the hell have you been?" With the door shut and no potential audience around, her voice took on an angry tone, and Al's blood ran cold. "I've been looking for you all day. Your father is sick with worry! You're nearly out of school, you should know better than to go running off without telling anyone by now."

Yeah, nearly out of school. Meaning, I don't answer to you anymore, because I'm also nearly a legal adult and out of this house. She pressed her lips together, knowing any reply would make her situation worse. Though her silence would probably still provoke the crazy woman. She let herself get tugged through the house. "Where have you been? That rat Awa's house again? I've told you I hate that stupid bitch. All your friends are nasty. Why the hell do you keep hanging out with them? They treat you like shit and are just a bunch of fucking lesbians. Is that what you like? Are you a lesbian? If I EVER catch you with a girl, I'll beat the shit out of you! Why do you do this to us? Us, the only people who care about you. Who love you. Go chasing people who don't care if you even wake up tomorrow, and walk all over us. Who have fought for you. FOUGHT, Allina!"

Al opened her mouth, but her throat closed. About the time she was about to shut it, a force slammed against the side of her head, sending her whole body spinning as her teeth clicked together and she slammed into a wall. "Don't lie to me, either. I know exactly where you were! And you know I've told you I don't want you anywhere near those cunts. I don't want to hear about them, see them. You were to stay away from them, at school and outside of it." She slowly pushed herself to her feet, and fists hammered against her back, then hands gripped her shoulders. Spun her, then closed around her throat as she was slammed back against the wall. "Do I need to beat you? That's what my mother did to me. Maybe you'll listen if I beat you black and blue. Till you can't walk." The woman slapped her again. Allie stood silently, staring through tears at her, arms frozen down at her sides. She knew better than to do anything from her own brother's stories. To fight back was to make the situation far worse than it ever had to be.

"Get the belt. I'm not hurting my hands on you." She released Al and stepped back, and she ducked away to dart into the hall. Not fast enough, because knuckles grazed the back of her head. She ran past her father, who didn't even look at her, and her brother, who watched in silence, clutching her suitcase. Her fingers had locked around the handle, so she never dropped it. She heard her mother's stomping steps behind her and knew she was being followed to her room. As soon as she was sure she was out of view, she whipped out her phone and texted Awa. Don't come, mom's home.

The answer was immediate: You okay?

Rather than answer, she pocketed the device and slipped inside her room, running for the closet. There was a thin plastic belt there, but she knew Lidna wouldn't want that one. She instead grabbed the leather braided belt. One that was already bent in the middle from its constant use, not as something to hold up a pair of pants with, but as a whip, folded once for twice the force and then used to hit her. Held vertically on either side, it bent immediately into that form.

Her bedroom door slammed behind her, and she turned slowly to face her mother, who was walking towards her. Grabbed the belt from her, shoved her towards her bed and hit her across the back with the belt. Once, twice. Iris darted from under her bed into her closet to hide. "Pull your pants down." Al's stomach twisted into little leather knots, and she obeyed, then leaned forward and braced her hands on the bed. And then her mother started whipping her, swinging the belt against her back and butt. Once, twice, three times. Didn't stop. Al shut her eyes and told herself not to make a sound, and it'd be over soon. But the swats kept coming, and her will quickly broke. She screamed. "Stop it! It hurts! I'm sorry!"

A slight pause as Lidna switched hands, then resumed the swings. "Why? You always say you're sorry. Never stops you from doing it again."

"I won't! I promise I won't. Stop!" Al cried, leaned away from the swings. Resisted the urge to jump out of the way, or try to grab the belt. It was embarrassing enough that her pants were down, and she wouldn't have time to correct them. Also, taking the belt away - or trying to - had been what had gotten her brother beaten. All over his body.

Lidna switched hands again, but after a snapping sound, she stopped. Threw the now-broken belt at her and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Downstairs, she could hear the sound of her mother's voice, raging. Talking about how she was such a worthless, ungrateful brat. Her father's muted voice in response. This went on for half an hour, and she tried to tune it out as she sat curled up in a corner, crying. Then her father shouted, loud enough that she'd be surprised if the neighbors hadn't heard:

"What do you want me to do, Lid? I can't kill her!"

Hours later, her phone buzzed on the floor in front of the closet. She crawled to it, saw that it was Awa, and flipped it open as she sat back in her corner. Iris rubbed against her as she whispered quietly. "Hello.."

"You weren't at the graduation ceremony." Awa's voice was blank.

"I wasn't able to go." Al's gaze trained on the door, and she drew in a breath. If she was caught on the phone now… "Hey, I gotta go."

Before Awa could respond, she hit End and deleted Awa from her Call History. A half hour later, she heard footsteps, and her door cracked open. She looked up and saw Micah standing in the doorway, holding a bowl of…something in his hands. Without saying anything, he walked in, put it on the bed, and walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him. She slowly sat up, saw that there was a lid on top of the bowl, opened it, and found heated spaghetti with a fork in it.

She crawled on the bed with her legs folded under her and began eating quietly. Al still felt sick and a little raw, her throat sore even though she hadn't really said anything. Not that she could remember, anyway. When she was done, she put the fork back in the bowl, covered it with the lid, placed it on her dresser, shut off her light, and curled up under her covers. She felt a small amount of weight on the bed near her, and pulled Iris under the covers too, cuddling the fluffy cat. She stiffened and struggled for a bit, then simply laid there.

Later that night, she got up and walked to the kitchen, placing her dishes in the sink and rinsing them before reaching into the cabinet and getting a glass down. She then reached under the sink, pulling out the gallon of Bleach that her mother kept there. Sitting there, staring quietly at the cup and gallon, she breathed slowly. Imagining drinking it, the burn as it ran down her throat, poisoned her body. Killed her. The gleam of a knife caught her attention, and for a moment she contemplated using it on her mother. Some part of her said the woman didn't deserve it. Another part said it didn't care. In the end though, she put the cup and gallon away, feeling guilty as she walked quietly up the stairs, past her parents' bedroom, her brother's, into hers…

That was my fault. I'm the stupid one, the one who should die.

But.

I don't care.