I change what I said earlier. I'm not really good at anyone.

So, some JohnKat. I always thought that after Karkat admitted his blood color and before he died, Equius would follow Karkat around the meter like the creep he was to listen to him yell at all his 'superiors'.

Oh, and I made some minor edits in the past chapter. If you're too lazy to go check on it (shame on you!), I just stuck my headcannon that human voices are higher than troll voices. No big difference, really.

I totally forgot that it was done and didn't publish it for a while, sorry...


"Dad! Um, hi."

"John?"

"Uh, yeah, I, Uh, I'm... Dressing up."

"Well, do you... Feel better?"

"Oh, yeah, loads, I'm feeling much better."

"Why are you dressing up?"

"It's for, a... Um... Dressss... Uh... Rehearsal." John was pretty proud of this excuse.

"Who are these two?"

Karkat and Terezi were for once quiet.

"Um, they're stage hands. They're helping me."

"Where's the dress rehearsal? Is it at your school?"

Shit. Shit. It couldn't be, because it didn't actually exist. "Um, no, actually it's going to be at Rose's school."

"When do you need to be there by?"

Oh shit shit shitty fucking shit. "Ffffoouuuuurrr?"

Dad gave a nod. "I'll drop you off there in an half hour.

Well fuck.

...

Rose took Kanaya's hands. "I promise that we'll figure this out. But the only way we can do this is if we can find the first guardian."

Kanaya wasn't going to just let Rose walk around outside. She'd been on the run from poachers before; this was not just the type of planet to wander around as an alien in. "Rose, please don't do this."

"You can keep me safe; you still have your lipstick, right?"

"But, there's a lot more people than me, and they'll easily overwhelm me."

"Kanaya, you're thinking of your planet. On Earth, humans will go to great lengths to avoid believing in something strange. At most, they'll fine us for public disorder, or something like that."

Kanaya chewed her lip. All she could think of was fires and rabid humans poking at them with sharp instruments while screaming in their weirdly high pitched voices.

"It'll be okay. Remember, I'm a Seer of Light; I can tell that this is the place we have to go to."

Kanaya let out a sigh. "Only if you let me keep my chainsaw out."

...

Jade felt uneasy. Something was off, and she didn't just mean the whole waking up as trolls thing. Her intuition was going off like crazy. She knew she had to see the others, in person. Jake didn't quite understand all this when she explained this to him.

"We need to see everyone."

"But... Why?"

She let out a groan of exasperation. This was the third time they were going over this. "Because I feel like we have to!"

"You're... Psychic?"

"Intuitive, something completely different!"

"Right, right." Jake finally realized how infuriating he was being, and backed off.

"Okay. Thanks. Now, let's go!"

"Now?"

"Now!"

"But... How? Don't we need to take a plane?"

Jade tried to stay calm. She loved her grandpa/grandson, but sometimes he was so dense! "I'm an omnipotent Witch of Space, remember?"

"Oh yeah, we can just teleport there!"

"Thank you."

...

After hours of painstaking research on the computer, Dirk and Roxy finally located where the First Guardian was most likely to be. Well, three places. But if the First Guardian wanted to see them, he/she/it would probably be at the first place they checked.

Bus tickets were booked, money was exchanged, and Roxy was sober enough not to be arrested for underage drinking. They boarded the Greyhound, and settled in for a very long ride.

Or at least Dirk did.

"Diiiiirkk."

"What?"

"Diiiiiiiiiiiirk!"

"Need I repeat myself?"

She giggled. "Yes."

He sighed, but played along. "What."

"Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk!"

"Yes?"

She gasped loudly enough that the people who sat beside them jumped.

"You didn't say 'what'!"

He breathed slowly in, and slowly out.

This would be a very, very long ride.

...

The car ride was long, and silent. Karkat kept sniffling in the backseat. Terezi was silent. Neither of them spoke, leaving John feeling awkward and somehow like an abusive father or something.

Dad noticed the awkward silence as well, and was that one kid... Crying? He did notice that his lip was bleeding after he left John's room with him.

As a stern father figure, Dad was apprehensive about the whole thing. It felt too much like a ploy, somehow.

John stole a quick look at Karkat. He wasn't crying, much to John's relief. It just sounded like he had a cold. That was probably why he sounded weird earlier.

The car turned another corner and the school loomed into view. Suddenly, it struck John that he might have to enter the school. Was it even open still? Of course it was, what's he thinking, it's only four.

But still, John hadn't thought this far. What was he going to do? If his Dad tried to follow him, it would soon be apparent that there was no play. Then he would have to explain the get up, but that would necessitate some kind of reason why he even had a getup on, and why he'd lied about it...

John hoped Dad wouldn't follow him.

...

Of course Dad was going to follow John, there was no doubt about that. This whole thing was just too fishy for him not to. But something said that nothing would be revealed unless he followed in secret; which was what he did.

With a misleading, "Be back in two hours," he drove the car and parked it about a block away. Then, he slunk back, hiding in shadows and around corners until John and those other kids were in view.

Dad was unsurprised to see that they were sitting in a silent, empty corner in the back of the school. He figured as much, but that didn't stop his fear and disappointment from sliding over him. It looked like his John had been pulled into something nefarious, and would need all the help he could get coming back out.

...

John sighed, leaning against the wall. "I'm so glad we found this place. We should probably just wait until Dad comes back to pick us up. I know he'll be exactly on time, so he should be her at six."

Karkat sniffed again. "Arrrrgh! Are human bodies always leaking this juice? It fucking gross and annoying! And what the fuck is wrong with my voice? Why is my nose all plugged up? What the fuck is wrong with me? Is this fucking normal?" Karkat exploded, probably having had spent too much time quiet.

Terezi laughed. "You sound like that time when you took Vriska's dare and shoved a bowlful of grubsauce up your nose-"

"Auuugh! Shut the fuck up!"

Something about that exchange grated on John's nerves. But then again, everything grated on his nerves now. He took a deep breath as Terezi and Karkat squabbled, and rubbed his temples. Now that he was aware of the irritation, he was able to control it enough not to strangle the two. Jesus, why are they always talking talking talking? It was fucking annoying!

"Shut the fuck up." He mumbled unintentionally. They didn't notice. For some reason, this infuriated John even more. They should be paying attention to even his rude mumbles! Why were they so preoccupied with themselves? Loathsome lowbloods.

John froze. He could not believe he actually said that. Well, thought. Whatever.

He needed a distraction.

...

The distraction arrived in the form of Rose, Kanaya, Dave, Sollux, and Aradia arriving at once in the same place.

"John?" Dave asked.

John took him in. His white-blonde hair was pitch black, and foot high horns stuck out zig-zagged almost reminiscent of a certain scratch that I know everyone else would recognize. You know, that scratch. THE scratch.

Terezi laughed (when will I open something Terezi says without a laugh? Probably never). "Dave, you look like such a stereotypical lowblood."

"Fuck off."

"What's happening? John? Terezi?" Sollux asked, clinging to Aradia's arm.

"Oh, everyone's different." Kanaya said.

"What? What the fuck is going on!" Sollux demanded. "Where's Kanaya?"

Everyone ignored him.

Karkat coughed. "I feel fucking horrible. What the fuck is this?"

"Oh, don't worry, it's probably just a cold." Rose responded.

All the trolls froze (current humans, past trolls, whatever).

"A.. C-cold?" Karkat choked out.

"Yes a cold. Your nose runs and you cough then it goes away." Dave explained.

Aradia answered hesitantly. "Karkat, if we figure out how to turn back, we should probably wait for your... Cold to go away before we do you. Just to be safe."

Karkat shakily nodded.

"What? What does a cold mean for trolls?" John asked.

Terezi seemed just as hesitant as Aradia. "A cold is... A potentially terminal disease. It starts out as just the sniffles, but eventually you'll start... Bleeding."

All the trolls (humans) shuddered.

"Ookaaay..." Dave said, drawing out the word while raising his eyebrows a millimeter.

Jake and Jade appeared, turning the corner.

"Finally!" Jake said, sounding annoyed.

"I did the best I could, okay!" Jade responded, sounding uncharacteristically sharp.

"What happened?" Rose asked.

Jade squinted. "Rose?"

Jake answered on top of her. "Jade fell asleep before we could teleport here! I had to wait another half hour before we could leave!"

"Dude, it's not her fault. She's narcoleptic."

"She's what?"

"Nar-co-lep-tic." Dave said slowly, as though he was addressing an idiot.

Jake didn't notice the jibe.

"It means she falls asleep sporadically without any control." Rose elaborated.

"Really?"

"You've been living with her for four months, and you still haven't realized?" Dave said, his eyebrows almost clearing his sunglasses.

"As much as I am loathe to, I must cut short the merry making. I believe that there's an apology in order." Rose interrupted.

"For what?" John asked, making everyone uncomfortable with his obvious ignorance.

Karkat was pissed. He wanted to smack that nooksniffer upside the head.

"What do you mean, for fucking what? For leaving us on a motherfucking alien planet! For being an asshole and not responding to our messages! For fucking with our lives!"

John's irritation found a vent, and he couldn't stop himself. "Well excuse me for not knowing! You're so fucking annoying! What should we have done, sheltered you in our homes like refugees? All you would've done then was complain!"

"John," Rose cautioned, her eyes wide.

"How do you fucking know? You've never tried it!"

"It's just Karkat." Rose continued.

And suddenly, it was just Karkat. Well, not suddenly. And not just Karkat either.

It was a Karkat with the guts to yell back. It was a Karkat who never gave a shit what people thought of him, or what became of him. It was a new Karkat. A sexy Karkat. A mutant blooded Karkat, whose slush that ran through his veins wasn't even on the hemospectrum.

John wasn't quite sure what happened next, but he thought that he said something along the train of thought his mind was spiraling down, because Karkat had his hands on his face and everyone was laughing.

"Um... Shit?" John said.

Rose cleared her throat. "Well, I don't know about the others, but I know that I'm very sorry. To all of you." She said, looking at all the trolls (humans) seriously.

Jade sighed heavily, then turned sightly and saw something, a shadow within a shadow, shift ever so minutely as to possibly disturb the air enough that the next breath taken feels ever so slightly shaky. Jade let out a soft "Oh," of surprise before she fell asleep.

"Shit!" Dave said, as he caught her.

No one had a chance to respond because at that moment (not having had heard the conversation, only having had seen a girl crumple with seeming no reason) Dad, Mom, and Bro jumped out exclaiming at once, "What happened to her?"

All the kids looked at each other. "Shit." They said in unison.


The whole reason Karkat doesn't believe in dares is because of that dare from Vriska.

Fun fact: I write this on the notes app on my iPod. You will never believe the hoops I have to jump through to publish on this site... I really should just type it up on my computer.

Wow, I think I enjoy these commentaries more than writing the actual story.

Anyways, the wrap up thought for today is:

How many times can a person say either 'fuck' (and variations thereof) or 'shit' before it becomes obvious that the author is incapable of coming up with enough words to put into the sentence?

The answer is something you must determine for yourself.