Warning: Explicit sexual content
Everybody but Jane, who'd been talking instead, had long since finished eating. Now he took up his fork and started on the food again as if he hadn't just given them a lecture about literature and deviant, psychopathic (sexual) behavior all wrapped in one.
"Well, that was very enlightening," Cho said. "I've come across that little-death phrase a few times while reading, but I can honestly say, never in a million years would I've been able to create a connection between it and the perverted actions of a serial killer. It's really fascinating how your mind works, Jane."
The consultant interrupted his eating, swallowed and said, "I'm not entirely sure whether I should take this as a compliment or an expression of your concerns regarding my mental health, Cho."
"Both," Cho deadpanned. But when he saw the short glint of true sadness and acceptance in the other man's eyes, he added, "I meant it as a compliment, Patrick. I've always been fascinated by the way your mind works, right from the first time I met you. And it's been nice to be allowed a look behind the curtains. That's all."
"Nah, it's alright, Cho. I'm sure, we can all agree on the fact that I'm a rather screwed up person. No reason to white-wash the truth. I'm afraid a big part of the reason why I'm especially well equipped to profile Red John is that we're very much alike. To a certain degree at least," the curly blond man replied meekly.
"Not where it counts," Lisbon objected vehemently. "And a lot of the things that make you seem alike have been caused by your father's meticulous grooming. They don't derive from an outright disorder. You've been forced to quell your natural sense of empathy, Patrick. That's most certainly not the same as lacking empathy."
She took one of his hands and pressed her lips against the back of it in a gentle, reassuring kiss. "From what I know about you, you possess probably more empathy than most, and repressing it has caused you a lot of pain, which you had to quash as well. That's led to a constant sense of guilt - a concept that's completely alien to a psychopath, as you very well know, Jane. So stop this train of thought at once, or else!"
"Alright. I concede your point. I'm not a psychopath, just the ideal playmate for one," he agreed, heavy irony clouding his voice.
LaRoche searched Jane's eyes and contemplated the other's words. He'd learnt so much about the consultant during the last two days that he'd gotten a whole new picture of him. Before, he would have wholeheartedly agreed with the assessment that Jane was indeed a psychopath or at least shared many of the characteristics.
But now he suspected a childhood shaped by abuse from a probably psychopathic father. He saw a man driven by guilt and a sense of unworthiness he would have never suspected to be hidden under that mask of superiority the blond man bore most of the time. And he saw a man capable of deep love and loyalty, fiercely protective of those he cared for. Someone strong enough to bounce back from deep hit after deep hit, battered but determined. A man smarter than most with a unique view on things. In other words, a man J. J. LaRoche could very much respect, both on a professional and a personal level.
"Yes, in a way you're right, Patrick," the bald man finally said. "He could only get to you in that all encompassing manner because of your specific biography. And by that I don't mean your actual genetic connection with him. Of course we don't know how he would've reacted, had you actually been able to move on. He might've tried to pull you into his game anyway, considering what he deems his personal grievances with you, but that's completely hypothetical."
He made sure the consultant looked at him when he went on, so he could be relatively certain not to be misunderstood. The other man was famous for disguising his true feelings after all. "What it comes down to is that you took his bait and accepted his challenge because you couldn't NOT do it. Your previous experiences in life didn't allow for any other way of dealing with your pain and guilt, Patrick."
"Geez, has everybody turned into my personal psychoanalyst now?" Jane tried to joke away the tension he felt at being dissected like that. He wasn't used to being the center of such scrutiny and he preferred to be the one doing the analyzing. To be put on the spot like that made him feel utterly vulnerable and he hated to feel that way.
Lisbon squeezed his hand to reassure him, and also the rest of the party sensed his deep unease. "No, Patrick. We're all just friends here," Madeleine Hightower expressed what everyone felt. "I know and respect that you're a very private person and that this whole situation must be extremely distressing for you. But it's important that we're all on the same page, and unfortunately, you ARE personally involved in this mess. It's only consequential that certain details about your life have come to light during this investigation, and I'm sure I speak for all of us present here when I promise you that we'll make certain as little of it as possible will ever leave this room."
She cast a challenging look around, but all she encountered were serious expressions and eager nods.
"Yeah, well…" Jane mumbled meekly, squirming uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes averted in a rare display of open body language from him. Lisbon, who knew him best, took this as a promising sign. In spite of the obvious unease her boyfriend felt right now, he seemed to be comfortable enough around this group of people to show an open and honest reaction instead of masking his emotions with the help of his iron control.
"We should probably call it a night," Hightower tried to defuse the situation. "It's past ten already. I suggest someone other than Patrick deals with the clean up this time around. Any volunteers?"
Van Pelt signaled her willingness immediately and Rigsby offered to help as well. LaRoche left to check on the security guards he'd put in place and to spend the night at home afterwards. Hightower excused herself for the night and Cho followed suit. With Van Pelt and Rigsby busy in the kitchen this left Jane and Lisbon to their own devices.
They decided to retire to their bedroom to get some much needed privacy. As soon as they'd both entered and the door was closed they engaged in a passionate kiss. Without further ado Patrick opened Teresa's pants, pulled them down together with her panties and did the same with his own trousers and boxers. He pushed her up against the wall, motioned for her to put her legs around his waist and when she was in position with his hands holding her hips, he entered her core with one firm thrust.
She groaned into his mouth at the nearly painful friction this caused inside of her because she hadn't been entirely ready for his forceful penetration and he gave her a moment to adjust to his intrusion before he started to push into her with powerful strokes. He definitely didn't seem to feel like sweet and slow tonight and was mostly interested in his own relief. This was very uncharacteristic for him but understandable in Teresa's opinion. He was in dire need to release some of the nearly unbearable tension that had accumulated throughout the day.
Fortunately her lover knew her body well enough to make her climax even without specifically aiming for it. The intensity with which he stimulated her most sensitive internal spot was almost too much and spiked an arousal in her that was bordering on being painful. So only a few minutes into the frantic joining she came violently and the contraction of her channel seemed to excite him even more. Forgotten were the other occupants of the house and he was equally oblivious to the rest of his surroundings when he came only moments after her with an nearly animalistic howl, that everyone in the Hightower residence had no problem identifying for what it was – a powerful (sexual) release of tension.
He came down from his high still panting with exhaustion. He pulled out of her, helped her legs down and made sure she was steady on her feet before he sank down on the floor and started to sob uncontrollably, the rest of the strain of the day leaving his body.
She kneeled down beside him and pulled him into her arms, drawing soothing circles on his back with her hand. At least ten minutes went by with his almost choking sobs and her holding his face close to her heart, then he gradually calmed down and she could feel how his body finally relaxed as well. She loosened her hold on him when she felt he wanted to move. He looked up at her, eyes red-rimmed but missing the pained expression she'd seen in them all day. He wore a small but genuine smile that filled her with a strong surge of tenderness for him. She smiled back at him and pushed her lips to his in a gentle kiss meant to convey her feelings.
He returned the kiss in kind – no urgency, no rampant lust this time, purely love. His fingers caressed her cheeks, his other hand was buried in her hair.
Teresa was the one to break the kiss at long last. "Hey," she said quietly.
"Hey yourself," Patrick answered just as gently.
"You okay now?" she asked carefully.
He nodded and smiled at her. "Getting there."
"Good," she replied and played with one of his curls that had fallen into his brow. "I wouldn't mind moving this to the bed, or rather, I'd like to get ready for bed. The floor's getting a bit uncomfortable."
"You're right. Probably not the best place to spend the night." He grinned sheepishly.
She got to her feet and offered him a hand to help him up. She'd pulled up her pants before joining him on the floor, but the same couldn't be said about him, and in his state of undress it wasn't easy to get up. After a few very clumsy attempts and much snickering he had the splendid idea to pull up his trousers first while still sitting and they finally managed to get him back on his feet. They shared another deep kiss before they grabbed their toiletry bags and went to the bathroom together.
In the hall outside the bathroom on their way back they ran into Rigsby, who immediately blushed deeply at the sight of them and averted his eyes.
"You alright there, Wayne?" Jane asked the other man.
"Yeah," the tall agent replied without conviction, the blush getting even deeper and he still avoided looking at them.
Jane raised his brows. "What's wrong? Are we suddenly sporting horns or something?"
"Not really," Rigsby mumbled uncomfortably. "You just kind of, well, we kind of, you know, heard you there, earlier," he stammered helplessly.
Lisbon blushed a very deep red as well now and remembered that her boyfriend had probably shouted down the house a little while ago - without realizing it. But she could see the wheels turning in his head now and a light bulb going on. Somehow that didn't reassure her. She felt extreme embarrassment at the thought of her former boss and her subordinates having been such an intimate part of her sex life tonight, but Jane might just use the opportunity to make fun of Rigsby and to make things even more awkward for her. Therefore she held her breath now.
"Sorry," Patrick provided sheepishly. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, Wayne. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. But somehow I, well, I was a bit out of it and couldn't restrain myself tonight. I'm truly sorry. I know you never wanted to hear that. Really, I'm sorry," he rambled.
Both Lisbon and Rigsby looked at him in astonishment. This was so completely unexpected, it took them both by surprise. "What?" Lisbon exclaimed.
Her loud question startled the blond man and he took her outburst as a reprimand. "Really, Lisbon, I am sorry. Don't be angry. I know how you hate public displays and I'm sorry I lost control like that and now they all heard and everybody'll be embarrassed, and I really didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, and I can see that you're really uncomfortable already and…"
She hushed him with a finger to his lips. "Patrick, stop!" When she had his attention she sighed and took a deep breath. His outburst had firmly brought her to her senses. "Yes, it's rather embarrassing, no doubt about it. But we'll all get over it, won't we, Wayne?" The tall man nodded eagerly. "Yeah, well. I think everybody here is mature enough to understand that you had a very tough day, Patrick, and that it's only natural that you needed some kind of relief. I'm sure we'll all handle this like adults."
The easing in Jane's poise at her words was almost palpable and Rigsby felt a sense of shame for bringing the whole thing up in the first place. The boss was right. They were all grown-up people here and most certainly no immature virgins. And intellectually he knew that the tough little lady that led his team was a sexual being as well and that that was in fact normal. But somehow she still appeared larger than life to him even after all those years working with her. It wasn't fair to her and it certainly wasn't fair to Jane either to deny the truth about their relationship. Still, every time he'd seen them kissing he'd felt a bit like a little boy catching his parents in the act and it had made him uncomfortable.
It was time to finally grow up, Rigsby decided. This was ridiculous and after all the shit he'd found out about Jane's life recently the other man deserved all the comfort he could possibly get. And if his boss happened to be the person to provide him with at least a little bit of happiness and relief, who was he to judge and who was he to make them feel embarrassed about it?
He should be supportive, not make his friend ashamed and sorry about losing control for once and getting some frustration and emotional pain out of his system. Hell, he'd heard the other man's yell down in the kitchen while cleaning with Grace and they'd both almost been able to feel the terrible anguish and tension that seemed to be torn from Patrick's soul at that moment. Okay, so it had been awkward afterwards, but at the time he'd only sympathized with their consultant.
So what if they'd had sex? Okay, he still felt a bit mortified at the thought, but then again, they made a very handsome couple, if he was honest with himself. They were kind of cute together and very much in love. And their kisses were hot, come to think of it. Yes, he definitely needed to start acting like a man and he obviously needed to get laid, and soon…
Coming out of his pondering with a new blush - now caused by something else, even if related – Rigsby cast Jane an abashed look. "Sorry mate, for making this awkward. There's nothing to apologize for. It was immature of me to react that way. We're all family here, right? I mean, well, it's, what I'm meaning to say is you haven't done anything wrong and I'm glad you have each other."
Lisbon couldn't help but chuckle at the two slightly hapless males in front of her. "You're both really sweet," she said. "Totally pathetic, but sweet."
The two men glared at her. "I resent that, Lisbon, also on behalf of my pal Rigsby here," Jane protested with a grin, patting the other's shoulder in a manly way.
The senior agent made a pacifying hand gesture and said, "Alright, alright. You're both the epitome of masculinity and now we'll just forget this whole conversation ever took place and try to get some much needed sleep. Agreed?"
The other two nodded and they all went their merry ways with friendly goodnights. Patrick and Teresa went to bed right afterwards and only managed to cuddle a few minutes before she fell asleep. He had a harder time reaching a state of rest and woke up again a couple of hours later after a nightmare which contained a lot of blood… He knew he wouldn't get any more sleep that night and in order not to disturb his girlfriend he got up carefully and left the room.
TBC
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