The last pre-season-six chapter - just one more day to go!
Madeleine Hightower hadn't been a very sound sleeper ever since Red John had appeared in her life and made her a scapegoat for a murder she hadn't committed. The fear for her children's and her own life had kept her awake many a night. Things had improved since Mimi and Will started at the boarding school and she could at least rest assured that they were relatively safe. Now on most nights she would get six hours of uninterrupted sleep. But recent events and especially all the guests in her house put her on edge and made her sleep lighter. So her old habit of waking up at around three and taking a walk around the house to check that everything was as it should be had made a reappearance.
Something felt odd, she decided upon awakening, though she couldn't hear anything unusual. She got up, grabbed her nightgown and her personal weapon and made her way out of her bedroom to take a look around and to have a glass of water. She knew she wouldn't fall asleep again before she'd made sure things were alright and she was a bit thirsty anyway.
When she came into the living room and switched on the light the sight that greeted her gave her such a start, she nearly went for her gun. At the last moment her sleep addled brain told her that the situation she was confronted with was totally unexpected but far from dangerous. And as an afterthought it even provided the information that this actually was a rather enjoyable view and that she – poor divorced single mother that she was - should make the most of it. Consequently her mind was too preoccupied to produce sensible words and she stood in the doorway gaping.
"Oh, hi Madeleine. Did I wake you? Sorry, I tried to be silent," Patrick Jane said quietly, stopping midway through one of the push-ups he'd been engaged in when he'd first heard someone coming down the stairs and the lights went on.
His words got her out of her stupor and her rational thought process restarted, though it was still disturbed by the sight in front of her. The man she was only ever used to seeing in a three-piece-suit was sitting on her living room floor only wearing a very tight-fitting white t-shirt and green silk boxers. He was a bit sweaty from the workout she'd just interrupted, and this wasn't his first workout either, as was plain to see by the shapely figure he made.
This was definitely not what she'd expected to find under those suits of his. She had of course always appreciated his good looks, what woman wouldn't? Those delightful curls, the slightly roguish charm, the killer smile and his confident bearing made for a very fine specimen, though mostly he managed to destroy that alluring first impression the moment he opened his mouth. Still, one had to be blind not to notice that Patrick Jane was one handsome, charismatic bastard.
But until this moment she'd assumed he'd be in a somewhat bad shape considering she'd only ever seen him lying around on sofas. She'd believed that a rather ordinary male would be hiding underneath the charming façade, nothing special, just the normal body of someone avoiding physical activity. And that had actually always been a bit of a turn-off for her when she'd allowed herself to evaluate the CBI consultant from a female and non-professional point-of-view, because she liked her men well-toned – probably a result of years in law enforcement surrounded by fit cops and agents.
Now she'd just had an epiphany and a total change of heart, because that man now standing in front of her in her living room was probably the most well-proportioned and beautiful creature she'd ever seen. He'd shapely legs, muscular arms (but not overdone, just right in her opinion), broader shoulders than she'd realized though she had seen him without a jacket, a very attractive butt as far as she was able to judge through his boxers and obviously not an ounce of fat. She tried to refrain from looking there but couldn't resist to take at least a glance at the groin area and though his underwear wasn't particularly revealing she could guess that he was nicely endowed as well.
She shook her head to clear it and to make herself stop the embarrassing gaping she'd engaged in and that's when she remembered that the Adonis in front of her had actually asked a question.
"Madeleine, are you alright?" the blond man asked her gently. "You seemed miles away." With a slightly impudent grin he added, "Though I do have a pretty good idea where you were." He had the audacity to wink.
The next moment proved very convincingly that even people with a darker skin color could blush visibly. "Damn, sometimes I seem to forget just how perceptive you are," she murmured awkwardly.
He chuckled. "Oh come on, Madeleine, that one really wasn't difficult to figure out. Needn't be a mentalist for it. You were practically staring at me for several minutes." With another wink he asked, "Do I measure up?"
She blushed even deeper, but glared at him at the same time. "Don't expect me to feed your oversized ego, Mr. Jane."
A brilliant but fake smile took over his face. "I take that as a yes," he said, appearing completely unfazed. He stepped a bit closer to her, bent down with a conspiratorial look and whispered in her ear, "You're allowed to look, Madeleine, but the rest belongs to someone else, I'm afraid."
She snarled, "And right now you're reminding me why that is in fact a very good thing." She shook her head and calmed herself down. She knew she had brought this onto herself. One didn't ogle a mentalist and expect to get away with it. But she was still mad at him for calling her out on it. That man just didn't know when to leave well enough alone. "You must be the most infuriating person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting," she huffed.
"Well, at least it worked." He grinned merrily. "I'm pretty sure, I put your mind to other things than my unfortunate state of undress."
She sighed. Patrick Jane seemed unable not to play mind games, even in the middle of the night. She'd long since accepted that it obviously was a compulsion he couldn't resist. Working together with him had taught her as much. Still, it would've been nice if he'd restrained himself for once and done the small courtesy and refrained from embarrassing her like that.
"You know, Patrick, it would really suit you well to develop at least a modicum of discretion like the rest of us. I'm sure you wouldn't like it either if every little weakness you showed to others led to merciless teasing all the time," she finally replied strictly.
He furrowed his brow and pretended to consider her words. "Mhm, I could, but where would be the fun in that?" And in a flippant voice he added, "And besides, I never show weaknesses anyway. Problem solved."
She snorted. "Frankly, Patrick, that's bullshit and you know it. I wouldn't have brought this up otherwise, but now you force me to prove a point here: what about earlier this evening? On several occasions during our dinner talk and most prominently later during your little tryst with Agent Lisbon – I'd say, we saw or rather heard you with your pants down. Wouldn't you agree?" she challenged him with a fiery expression.
Jane gave her an approving nod. "I've always appreciated your candidness and sharp wit, Madeleine, though not always your methods as you know. But I concede your point. I apologize for making you uncomfortable."
He paused for a moment and seemed have some kind of internal debate. When he'd come to a decision he looked her straight in the eyes and held her gaze when he continued, "I tend to turn offensive when I feel threatened, and to be honest, I do feel a tad vulnerable after my indiscretions tonight and you giving me the once over earlier made me a bit self-conscious."
Hightower's brows had nearly disappeared behind her hairline during his words. This was probably the most truthful statement she'd ever gotten from him. And that he'd ventured to entrust her with this was mind-boggling.
During the last days she had seen small changes compared to the version of Patrick Jane she'd been used to. He had been more open and forthcoming with his teammates and had even allowed some physical contact. She remembered her shock when he'd accepted Cho's comforting hand without even flinching during their first meeting at the park two days ago.
When she'd gotten to know him a few years ago he'd seemed completely uncomfortable with just about any kind of touch, even if it was something as innocuous as a handshake. There was actually a wild story going around at the CBI of Jane putting a jinx on Bertram's first assistant for touching him. Though it was probably highly exaggerated, the gist of the matter was doubtlessly true enough.
He had touched her on occasion. She remembered him hugging her during the case they'd worked together out in the field. But it had been a contact forced by necessity, well apart from that one little peck on the cheek he'd had the audacity to bestow on her once the case had been closed. Other than that it had only ever been Agent Lisbon Jane was at least relatively comfortable around. He had allowed her to touch him and had touched her casually and by choice as well. Not often, mind you, but more than anybody else. Now, however, he seemed a lot more open to the idea of letting others in. And it was at that very moment Madeleine Hightower fully realized that Patrick Jane had indeed finally really and truly moved on.
It conjured a smile on her face, because as cold and detached as she might appear at times, she was a romantic at heart and the tragedy of his life had always touched her deeply. "You have changed, Patrick Jane, and most certainly for the better," she said kindly. "I'm very happy for you, and for Teresa. She's had a big part in this I'm sure." And with eyes full of warmth she added, "Oh, and apology accepted. And I guess I owe you one as well. Staring at you that way wasn't exactly polite." She blushed a bit again.
"I have to admit that seeing you like this-", she made a gesture with her hand in his direction underlining her words, "-caught me completely by surprise. I never imagined, you'd hide a body like this underneath those suits." She sighed. "In the name of honesty: I've always found your looks attractive, Patrick, but thought the rest of your body wouldn't appeal to my taste. Now I stand corrected. And the events earlier had already brought home the fact that you're, well, back to being a sexual being and what can I say? I'm a red-blooded, but unfortunately rather lonely woman."
She immediately realized what her last words had sounded like and hid her face in her hands. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. Please believe me when I tell you that I didn't just try to come on to you. I'm only telling you this because you probably know it already anyway," she rambled on.
Now she could only hope that the man before her had really changed as much as she assumed or this would turn most awkward. The old Patrick Jane would've tortured her mercilessly after an outburst like that.
"Madeleine, relax," he said. "I've known from the moment we met that you have a soft spot for me. You hid it relatively well, but noticing things like that is my job. To be honest, I've even preyed upon that very fact quite a few times when you were still supervising agent." He cast her a sheepish and apologetic glance. "Being attracted to someone isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a natural reaction you can't always control. Exploiting such an attraction on the other hand isn't very nice. So, well…" He looked down.
She closed the gap between them and patted his arm. He looked up and she searched his eyes. "Patrick, please. You know exactly that I tried to play games with you and Teresa as well back then. I knew there was a special bond between you two and I took advantage of it. That wasn't very nice either. So I'd call us even." She chuckled. "Though probably not, because you sure as hell won that game. It was very foolish of me to think I could outsmart you like that."
"Oh, you did a passable job, Madeleine. Your mistake was that you overplayed you hand and that I knew that you valued Lisbon more than you let on. She might've believed your threats. I never did. Firing your most successful agent was never an option." He cast her a knowing look and she nodded.
His expression turned more serious again when he started speaking once more, "I resented you back then, because you exploited Lisbon's lack of professional self-esteem caused by circumstances completely out of her control." He examined her face carefully and when he saw the regret in her eyes he went on, "After the murders of Agent Bosco and his team and Minelli's resignation – and yes, I mean that in both senses of the word – Teresa would've needed someone to have her back - not put even more pressure on her."
Madeleine nodded again, regret still very visible on her face. "You're right. I should've handled that a lot better."
Patrick agreed with a nod of his own. "She was so close to her breaking point at the time. And your schemes were very detrimental to her state of mind. I could see through your act, but to her your behavior was totally inconsistent."
At the thought of his girlfriend his face lit up. "Lisbon is very much a straight forward person. You get what you see. She's gotten a lot better at reading others over the years, mainly because I've been a constant reminder that not everyone is as forthright as she is." He sported a self-satisfied grin at that, but continued in an earnest tone, "But she still expects at least her fellow agents and superiors to act without a hidden agenda." With a snort he added, "Though the fact that there've been moles in the force has been a bit of an eye-opener. As has your behavior, to be honest." He snorted again as he considered his next words. "Finding out that her former boss is a serial killer has possibly destroyed even her last illusions now."
"Probably. Though after almost a decade with you, there can't have been that many illusions left," she teased him but became serious again right after. "Well, I guess your paranoia has turned out to be appropriate after all…"
"Unfortunately, yes," he agreed. "I wished it wasn't so. I had grown used to not trusting most of the people around me, and until a few weeks ago I didn't even realize what a lonely and joyless existence that is. Rather, I didn't allow myself to become aware of it because it would've destroyed me." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Now that I'm more inclined to put my faith in certain people, mistrusting the rest of the world and expecting betrayal and treachery everywhere has become quite a burden again."
He sighed deeply. "But what I've gained in the process still outweighs the bad," he added with conviction and a small smile. To her keen eye he looked awed when he continued, "Frankly, experiencing love and real friendship again after such a long time is somewhat overwhelming. A decade ago I had to force myself into becoming completely cold and detached - and let me tell you, that's very much against my nature - and now I'm finally warm again."
His smile lit up the whole room now. "You know, most of my life I was used to being cold and calculating, to conceal myself, hide behind masks only ever letting people see what they wanted or expected to see. I had been drilled to act that way from a very young age, though I think it went completely against my personality. When I met my wife it was the first time I let my guard down – ever. It was like breathing freely at long last."
He took another deep breath as if to prove his point. "When my family was taken from me, I never expected to experience that again." His smile grew even wider. "But now I do." His expression turned very determined and serious. "And I won't allow anyone, least of all that sick monster, to take that away from me again."
Madeleine felt like one surprise was following the next tonight. She had a hard time reconciling her previous knowledge and impression of Patrick Jane with the man she was talking to right now. She'd respected his incredible intellect and had – to a certain degree at least – always liked the consultant, but the person she'd met today was alluring both on the inside and out. She realized that she could very easily fall for this man, was probably already halfway there and chided herself for being utterly foolish. He was very much spoken for and going in that direction was a certain way to heartbreak. Still she couldn't help herself but wish that the smile he'd just sported would have been caused by her.
"Teresa is one lucky woman," she finally said wistfully, looking into his knowing eyes.
"No, she's not," a very sleepy voice objected from the doorway. "Her pillow disappeared."
The pj-clad senior agent stepped further into the room. Her hair was tousled and she looked only partly awake. She crossed the distance to her lover on somewhat unsteady legs and as soon as she'd reached her goal she shaded her tired eyes from the bright light in the room hiding her face against Patrick's chest. Her arms came around his waist. "Can you please come back to bed? I miss you," she murmured into his t-shirt, taking a deep breath, obviously sniffing him. A satisfied sigh followed.
Madeleine cast a very bemused look at the blond man and the female monkey that had attached itself to him, though she had to quell the spark of jealousy she felt when she saw the tender expression that took over Patrick's face. His arms had snaked around Teresa's waist as well and Madeleine realized that it was the only thing holding the other woman up. She'd obviously fallen asleep again on her feet.
"Sure, love," Jane whispered gently. Carefully he lifted her up bridal style, her face automatically hiding in the crook between his neck and shoulder with another happy sigh. He mouthed a silent goodnight in Hightower's direction and left for the guestroom with his precious burden safely in his arms.
Madeleine was left to her own devices and decided that as soon as this whole Red John mess was over she had to start going out again and find herself a man before she'd succumb completely to lusting after ones that were totally off limit.
She'd always known that those two were destined for each other. She'd also assumed that he would ruin her career and probably break her heart. And as she held a lot of respect for Agent Lisbon's accomplishments and had been on a sure way into a divorce herself at the time, she'd tried to prevent it from happening to the other woman, even going so far as to attempt to set the consultant up with someone else.
She still felt a bit ashamed for her meddling, because all that had transpired in the wake of Patrick's disastrous date with Kristina Frye was at least partly her fault. Even if Jane denied it, her needling him about his lack of a social life had been a factor and she had known that the man hadn't been ready to move on. Furthermore she'd even seen through the nature of his completely superficial attraction to that woman: firstly, he'd felt challenged by Kristina and had wanted to prove her a fraud and secondly, observing someone using their so-called gift in a way that wasn't as manipulative and ruthless as his own former ways had borne a huge fascination for him. What he definitely hadn't felt for Kristina was an honest, romantic attraction and Madeleine had known that.
Well, obviously true love had still found its way after all and with what she knew now she was sure that Patrick would never willfully do anything to jeopardize Teresa's career and that his heart was probably at least as much at stake as hers. They were so much in love it was almost sickening and even though the whole Red John situation was as dire as it currently was, she could honestly say that she'd never seen neither him nor her as happy as they were at the moment.
And they were really good for each other. The changes Madeleine could see in Patrick were mostly caused by Teresa's unconditional love. The senior agent on the other hand looked more confident and determined than ever before. She had a new spark in her eyes and seemed to stand taller. She exuded confidence and certainty. Not that she hadn't before. She'd always been a natural leader, but now she seemed somehow even more in tune with herself and it showed.
Additionally, she allowed herself a bit of leeway as well. Madeleine was still astonished about the fact that Lisbon had permitted PDAs, actually initiated them. Even though the circumstances had been very special and her boyfriend's need for comfort more than understandable that wasn't just a step, it was a huge jump for someone as reserved as the feisty little lady.
Well, in Hightower's opinion appearing at least a bit human sometimes was a good thing for a leader, because always looking larger than life could inhibit the people around you who'd automatically feel flawed and inadequate in comparison. She'd noticed that tendency in agents Rigsby and Van Pelt and Madeleine hoped that now that they were seeing their leader in a new light it would help them to work up to their full potential.
So yes, she couldn't deny that she was jealous and that her heart had skipped a beat or two several times during her late night talk with Patrick. But her envy was outweighed by her honest feeling of joy for those two. She really couldn't begrudge them their happiness – they both deserved it so much after all. And in the meantime she could always go back to bed and maybe allow herself to salivate a little over delightful blond curls and a very shapely male body…
TBC
I hope, this chapter helped to pass the time at least a bit...
