A/N: After The Hope in the Horror, contains spoilers for that episode.
Booth was sitting in his office staring out the window when the phone rang.
"Agent Booth, I request your presence at your earliest convenience." Dr. Zack Addy's voice commanded and then disconnected.
As if he wasn't in a foul enough mood already. Sleep had been elusive in the last week between Bones' nightmares, kidnapping and having to take a life. He had just come from the review board on the shooting of Dr. Roshan and while there was no doubt that they would rule in his favor, the FBI mandated bureaucracy had taken its toll on his patience. Now was not the time for a squint summons.
The phone call at least acted as a wake up from brooding. Frowning, he grabbed his urgent pile (and why was THAT one always the biggest?) and started plowing through the files. Two hours later the pile was gone. It was rare that he had that much time without interruptions but he knew the 'Approach with Caution' warning had gone out around the bullpen so for most of his agents it would have taken an alien invasion before they'd darken his doorway. He debated on starting the important pile and then decided that he wasn't in the mood and if he finished too much paperwork in a day his admin would likely go into cardiac arrest. Not wanting that on his shoulders he grabbed his jacket and keys and headed towards the sanitarium, dropping off a pile of folders on his way.
The receptionist suggested he wait in the courtyard while she found Zack. He grabbed a cup of coffee from the pot in the lobby and grabbed a seat near the fountain. If nothing else at least he would get to soak up some sunshine today. He wondered briefly at what Zack wanted to see him for and then determined that there was no way he'd ever figure out how the kid's brain worked so he'd just be patient. He also wondered if it was okay to call him a kid anymore and then determined that he'd always think of Zack as a kid.
Further philosophical musings were halted when Zack arrived. There was awkward standing and staring. Zack didn't like to shake hands and Booth didn't like any other form of greeting. Eventually they just nodded at each other and sat. Booth waited a few seconds for Zack to speak, after all, he was the one who had requested the meeting, but finally lost his patience. "You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, Agent Booth, I find that your recent actions have confused me, and I wish to understand why."
Booth snorted. HIS actions were confusing? He hadn't broken out of a loony bin, hacked into friends email accounts for years and kidnapped anyone. "You want me to tell you why you're confused?" he asked, incredulously.
Zack stared at him. "No. With your intelligence, you can't possibly comprehend how my brain works, so therefore it would be illogical to assume you can explain my confusion. What I meant was, I wish to understand your motivation behind your actions, specifically your reasons for killing Dr. Roshan."
Now it was Booth's turn to stare. Seriously? First the review board and now Zack? And Zack had to know that if he hadn't killed the doc, Zack would be dead, so why the question? He felt himself grow irritated and then took a look at the kid's face and saw the genuine confusion. Reminding himself that there was no malice behind the inquiry he took a deep breath, shrugged and said simply, "He was going to kill you. I had to stop him."
"But that is what is illogical. At the time of the shooting, you were unaware of my innocence. So, with the facts in your possession at that moment it was one killer attempting to harm another killer. Once the syringe was empty, you, with your training and your weapon could have easily overpowered Dr. Roshan and taken him into custody alive, yet you chose to save me. That choice has caused you obvious distress. Why did you make it?"
"Obvious distress?" Booth was surprised, in the two days since the shooting, most of the people who had dared to talk to him about it expressed their gratitude for stopping a serial killer. Only Bones understood his cosmic balance sheet, to everyone else it was one bad guy gone forever without the burden of trial prep. He was shocked that Zack, with his lack of people skills, seemed to understand that it wasn't that easy.
Zack looked at him impatiently. "Of course. While in the infirmary, you excused yourself. Between the acoustics of the attached bathroom and the odor on your breath when you returned, it was obvious that you had become physically ill. Given my knowledge of your experience with damaged bodies I came to the conclusion that it was not my wound that would cause such a reaction. My hypothesis has been further confirmed by your appearance today. Your skin tone lacks it's usual color and there are dark circles under your eyes indicating a lack of sleep. Am I wrong in my conclusion?"
"No."
"Then I must ask. Why? I had previously stated that you were not my friend, so it was illogical of you to act on a notions of camaraderie."
"I didn't do it out of friendship. " Booth sighed, trying to find the words to explain himself. "I never could stand by and watch somebody get hurt."
"That is a rational, if the person getting hurt is innocent. Yet, in your eyes I was not. " Zack persisted. He really couldn't follow the agents logic.
"I've always had my suspicions about your guilt in the murder. I never pressed it because I know enough about the law to know that your options at the time were prison or here, and the sanitarium was the best solution. "
Zack was shocked. "I don't understand. The evidence was there, I confessed. I plead guilty after coming to the conclusion that even though I hadn't killed anyone, I would have had the Master asked. It was only after I had the opportunity to kill Dr. Roshan and was unable to do so that I realized my conclusions were wrong. How could you have possibly suspected what I was unaware of?"
"The beetles." Seeing Zack's puzzlement he continued, "it was like the third case we worked. The guy that blew up in the SUV? We first thought it was a suicide bombing and then found out his brother had been poisoning him with dioxin? But Hodgins had to kill the beetles in order to run the tests. You were so upset at having to kill the bugs, I couldn't see how you had gone from that kid to a guy who murdered lobbyists in cold blood just because someone told him to."
"But people change. I changed after Iraq."
"Yea, going to a war zone changes you. But in my experience, people don't really change that much. Going to war exaggerates your faults and your virtues. The guys that didn't mind violence before the war aren't as bothered by their actions during it. The ones that see it as a necessary evil do what they have to do and then spend a lot of time beating themselves up over it later, trying to figure out if it was necessary. The ones who have the hardest time adjusting afterwards are the ones that were the gentlest going in."
Zack sighed. "Even if I accept your logic, I still am having a hard time understanding your actions."
Booth thought about it for a minute and decided to try a different approach. "Zack, when I was kidnapped by Gallagher and being held in the hangar, you helped figure out where I was. Why?"
"It was a puzzle that needed solving."
"And when Kirby suspended me from the FBI and you worked to find evidence to solve the Harper case and get my job back. Why?"
"I was distressed that they had come to a faulty conclusion. Getting your job back was a byproduct of correcting their mistakes."
Well, this wasn't going the way Booth thought it would. He tried again. "Ok, so, for you solving puzzles is the most important thing." Zack nodded. "That's the way your brain is wired. The way mine is wired is to protect people. I can't change that any more than you can change your logic. "
Zack contemplated this new piece of information. He came to the conclusion that he was glad he didn't live with Booth's brain. The one time that he had allowed his brain to work like the agents had been during the explosion. Hodgins had been spared at the expense of his hands. He couldn't imagine having to live like that daily.
For his part, Booth was feeling the knot that had been in his stomach for the last two days loosen. Immediately after the shooting he had been pissed. Pissed that Zack had not taken action to save himself, instead relying on Booth to do the dirty work. Being "the gun" was wearing. Now, after speaking with Zack he had come to the conclusion that no matter how awful he felt, he was still better equipped to handle the fallout than the squint. Killing someone, no matter how justified, really would have destroyed the kid. In the end, it had worked out the way it was supposed to. It still sucked, but the alternative outcomes would have been worse. He sipped his coffee and looked at Zack who was obviously concentrating intensely.
Finally Zack spoke. "Agent Booth. I may have been erroneous in my conclusion. You are my friend."
