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"I need answers." She heard a voice argue. A deep voice that she knew from somewhere. Hawke tried to move but her body felt like lead. The complete darkness only served to heighten her awareness of her own body. Her tongue scraped like sandpaper in her dry mouth and she felt her ribcage seemingly crunch in rhythm to her shallow breaths.

"Well I need you to back off. She can't tell you anything when she's unconscious."

Hawke knew the words, but not the voice. It was too distorted, twisted beyond recognition by the high pitched ring in her ear.

"That mage nearly burned down High Town… Meredith is demanding an explanation."

"Well you're not getting one while everyone involved is all but on their death bed." Was that Alistair? Surely not.

"Quiet you two." Finally, one of voices resolved into something she could pin a name to. Bethany. "My sister nearly died… show some compassion."

"Bethany… you are only here able to attend to her wounds because I'm with you, because I convinced the Knight-Commander I would oversee your conduct. You can't expect me to return empty handed…"

"Cullen… you're a good man." She heard that familiar voice offer. "But they can't answer your questions right now… Why don't you return and tell Knight-Commander Meredith that, I will take care of your charge and I will send word as soon as they are awake."

Cullen snorted, "Return to Meredith with no news and a mage unaccounted for? No thank you."

"I was a Templar, you know…" It was Alistair…

"Exactly… was. There is no telling where your loyalties now lie."

"… I may be an ex-Templar but I'm also a King and one of Kirkwall's staunchest allies. I'd watch your tone if I were you." His voice was cold. Grave.

Hawke heard Cullen sigh. "I remember when you saved me back in Ferelden. I know you to be honourable. I also know Bethany Hawke is an outstanding mage of unsurpassable skill and integrity. If the decision was mine, it would be an easy one. But it is not mine. I swore loyalty to Knight-Commander Meredith and it is her orders that I follow. I'll keep my peace for now… but know I have no intention of returning to The Gallows empty-handed. I don't much fancy my head on a spike…"

"I know your Commander seems a little… unhinged… but I feel you're being slightly dramatic." The Warden King sounded strained.

"You don't know Meredith." Bethany cut in bluntly. "She'd kill every mage in Kirkwall if the Chantry would allow it."

The cool compress against her head made Hawke stir. Her heavy eyes flickered open, and she saw the ebony hair of her sister, her worried face became less of a blur. Hawke felt the smile touch her lips, but it soon turned in to a wince when the cuts on her face pulled it away.

"Beth-any." She croaked.

"Hush, sister." Bethany soothed. Applying the wet cloth to Hawke's parched lips. "You were hurt badly. Alistair… uh… King Alistair… he saved you."

Hawke heard Alistair laugh, though it seemed mirthless. "No need for the formalities, your sister and I are great friends. And I was only returning the favour for when she did the same for me." The blonde felt someone take her hand, she twisted her head to see the King of Ferelden looking down at her, eyes wide with concern. "How are you feeling?" He asked gently. She didn't want to tell him how much him holding up her arm made her want to cry with pain.

"Not that arm!" Bethany scolded, smacking his hand away. "If you want to flirt with my sister, at least do it by not undoing everything I've done. Kestra…" She felt Bethany's soft fingers on her cheek. "It's alright now. Your friends… they're…"

Suddenly everything returned to her like waves crashing into a rock. Aveline was hurt. They had Fenris and Varric… how was Isabella? Sebastian? Anders… the look of pure heart break in his eyes just before….

She surged forward to sit up, so many questions she needed to ask. So many things she needed to know. The pain seared through her, ripping at every sense she had. The breathlessness crushed her chest and she gasped which only succeeded in sending further tremors of pain through her broken body.

Before she fell back she felt hands hold her shoulders to steady her. Bethany on her right, Alistair to her left. They lowered her back down to the bed gently. It took her some time to let the pain subside. She accepted the vial Bethany tipped to her lips gratefully and a warm sensation washed over her as the world fell dark once more.

She took in her surroundings. She was back at the mansion. Her room. The sheets around her were speckled in blood, soaked in sweat. The length of the shadows from the candles told her it was dark outside, and there was the faint smell of broth wafting in through the door.

Hawke barely had time to cast her eyes around the room before they noticed she was awake, taking in the sight of her companions – Bethany, Cullen, Alistair.

"Easy, Hawke." Alistair comforted. "Since I know what you're already worrying about apart from yourself, Aveline is recovering at the Barracks. Her arm was shattered. Anders is downstairs, Merrill has been attending to him although progress has been slow given her previous injuries. Luckily he wasn't hurt anywhere near as badly as you. As for Fenris and Varric… Isabella wasn't sure, but she seems fairly certain they've been captured."

"Isabella?"

"She escaped." Cullen cut in. "But by the time she came to warn you it seems your friends had already been moved."

"Moved where?"

"We don't know. What we do know is that a ship with the Flint Company crest left the docks shortly after the fight in High Town had ended. I think it's safe to assume your friends were aboard… though what they hope to achieve by taking the heir to Starkhaven hostage, I don't know."

"… and the stone…?"

Bethany grunted. "I put that damn thing as far away from me as I could… Don't worry, it's safe, but it was interfering with mine and Merrill's magic…"

"An interesting trinket indeed…" Cullen sounded thoughtful. "If the stone could be replicated this could change The Circle as we know it."

Bethany shot the Templar a scowl, which he answered only with a shrug.

"That isn't important right now." She scolded. "What's important is helping my sister."

"You should help the others," Hawke forced a smile, hiding the flinch as she sat up slightly. "I feel much better."

Bethany gave her a look of disbelief, casting another spell all the while. Maker, when did she become mother? Hawke gave a sigh of relief as the white light settled upon her.

Her hand rested on Bethany's in a bid to halt her casting further. "I feel much better. Please, help Anders…" She turned, "Alistair, I need a favour… I need you to organise a ship to Starkhaven…"

"I'm offended you think I've not already thought of that…"

Hawke's eyes shifted to take in Isabella, slouched by the wall. The sights of the bruises and marks across her face made Hawke want to commit bloody murder. The pirate was no stranger to pain, but she had obviously been beaten to within an inch of her life.

Isabella caught her expression and grunted. "I'm fine Hawke. But that bitch threatened Merrill, she hurt my friends… I have no intention of letting that stand. I will make her pay."

Alistair turned to face her. "Take my ship, I don't want you going with someone I don't know. And she's a mage… you need me."

The Rivaini pulled her face. "Hawke won't be fit for days. Even with the best healing… I need to leave now while I can track them."

"I didn't realise water left tracks…" Alistair bit back.

Isabella looked just as unimpressed. "It's the tides. You can tell from the waves. The sea is a mistress, but she's a readable one. If I don't leave now I won't be able to see the pattern." Hawke rolled her eyes at the Pirate's obvious subterfuge. If Isabella didn't want to reveal her sources, she could at least come up with a less insulting lie.

"Isabella…"

"Fine!" The Rivaini grumbled, "They're going to Starkhaven… I overheard the men talk while I was captured. The wind's up and the tide's high… if we leave soon it'll be easier to close the distance. But Hawke… you, Merrill, Anders… you're in no position to…"

"You're not going without me." The blonde growled. "She took Fenris, Varric and Sebastian… she beat me and Anders into a bloody pulp, she shattered Aveline's arm and her men put Merrill close to her death bed… she's going down."

"Hawke… you're not…"

"I can recover on the ship. If Bethany is with me." She gave her sister a small smile.

Cullen gave an exacerbated sigh. "And now you expect me to get on a damn boat without permission."

It took a few gasps for Hawke to answer, she had to steady herself. "I don't expect anything of you. But I'm going to find my friends. I don't care if you come and help me."

Bethany gave Cullen a desperate look, even the swordswoman could see that. Bethany's eyes wide, he tried to ignore them. He smirked, though he gave a sigh of resignation. "Bethany Hawke, you will be the death of me."

"Nice to see you found a man, sister."

Bethany scowled once again. "You're one to talk. And he's not 'my man'." Her sister turned to the other figures in the room. "Give me and my sister a moment?"

Alistair was the last to leave, his concerned, brown eyes staying with her. She felt something in her stir. When had Fenris last looked at her like that?

Once the door had clicked to a close, Bethany gave her a very certain look. One she didn't like.

"Kestra, he loves you…"

"Lots of people love lots of people…"

"And you chose Fenris…"

"… I'm not saying that was smart…"

"Sister… I'm not an expert in these things… but if it were me the choice is obvious."

"Well… you obviously have a thing for Templars." She tried to smirk, but the sense of her lip splitting stole any sense of humour.

"You are the worst." Bethany replied flatly.

"I'm the best at pissing you off though."

Bethany's hand rested on her good shoulder. "You always were… Carver got the worst of it as I recall though."

A pang of guilt. Not what she needed right now. Mother. Carver… how many more people would she lose? It wasn't often she would have her sister here. She pushed her pain to the side. "He deserved it. He was a brat." She regretted what she said as soon as it left her dry lips.

Bethany's pain was obvious. Hawke wanted so badly to hold her, to let her know everything was alright. But she was in no place to make such assurances.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." She could feel her eyes swell. How pathetic.

"He was a brat." Her sister smiled through teary eyes. "But he was our brother, and he would be proud of you. Speaking of which, we've not had much time to talk since Mother…"

"There was nothing I could do…"

"I know…" Bethany countered. "But I doubt you believe that. I know you, sister, you've always had a habit of blaming yourself."

Hawke's hand fisted, as much as it hurt she forced it to her face. Trying to hide the tears. "Please don't make me cry, Bethany."

"You have to grieve. You can't stay strong for everyone when you're falling to pieces."

"I have no choice! They're all in danger because of me. How can I do this knowing I'm the reason they're all in pain?" Her voice struggled to fight the tears. It cracked, as the parched skin on her lips did. The dried blood broke, that same metallic taste in her mouth… but somehow it tasted more bitter than before. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect her." She choked, the grief swelled within her, almost suffocating her. Bethany, I'm so sorry.

Bethany's arms wrapped around her. So gentle. So comforting. She didn't deserve it.

"I let her die." She sobbed. Her face ached, but the tears and the heartbreak kept coming. Sorrow that she had kept in for so long. It wasn't the time or the place… her friends needed her. But right now, she needed Bethany. "If I'd been faster, if I'd been stronger…"

"You might be the Champion of Kirkwall, Kestra, but you're not the Maker… you can't decide what monsters walk this land…" Bethany's arm cradled her head. "If nearly dying is what it takes to get you to confide in me, then I'm sorry to say I approve. You tried to save Mother, you tried to save Carver…"

"It's not enough… why am I never enough?" Her voice was now broken by the breaths between her gasps.

Maker! Why was she doing this now?! She didn't have time. She needed to get up… to save Fenris… Varric… Sebastian… She was weak.

As much as it hurt, she wrapped her arms around her sister, and Hawke let the tears fall.

Alistair stood just beyond the door to Hawke's room, broth in hand. He was well aware it had already gone cold.

He heard her cry, and he had battled the urge to go in and comfort her.

But more than anyone he knew the need to mourn. And he knew that Hawke needed her sister.

Duncan. How long had it been? He had been a father to him and yet his memory seemed to fade. The way his smile had always seemed assuring. The way his hand on Alistair's shoulder had been so comforting even in his darkest moments. The grief had gone away, and Alistair felt a surge of guilt. How can one so loved ever be forgotten?

Alistair shook his head as one of his men approached. "Ready the ship, we leave for Starkhaven when day breaks."

"But, Sire… you came here for…"

"I know what I came here for. But the treaties will stand." Alistair barked. "And do we want conflict in Starkhaven… I think not." He felt sorry as soon as he saw the recoil from the man, but he was in no mood to make amends. "Make ready the ship."

"… as you command, my King." The man left swiftly.

Alistair was once again caught in his thoughts. His mind cast back to when he had last been in Kirkwall. Had he made a mistake leaving without her? Maybe he should have pressed her more?

That's pestering.

Though knowing her that wouldn't have been good for his health. He smirked at remembering his black eyes. How sorry she had seemed after each time she had lashed out.

Is it wrong he found that adorable?

Bethany came through the door, stirring him from his reverie. Her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had also been crying.

"How is she?" He pressed. Almost forgetting the bowl in his hand. He set it to rest on the floor before he would undoubtedly drop it… or smash it…

"She will heal from the battle…" The dark haired mage sounded hesitant, "though I think there are wounds my magic cannot reach."

He caught her elbow as she went to move past him. "Can I help?"

"I've done all I can." She replied simply.

"That's not what I asked."

"That woman broke nearly broke all of my sister's bones…" Her posture stiffened. "You can help by killing the bitch that did this."

"I think she would prefer to do that herself. Your sister is nothing if not resilient."

Bethany scowled. "Try telling that to Kestra's shattered legs and arms. She's in no condition to be moved."

"That's not what she thinks… I imagine you know better than most how arguing with her goes…"

The ebony haired mage glared at him, yet somehow it didn't seem sincere. Tears threatening.

It seemed broken.

All of it did.

Alistair knew vulnerability when he saw it, so he decided not to push the issue. He was surprised when Bethany replied. "My sister has always seemed invincible to me. She always accepted everything like it was nothing… after Carver… I thought she was unshakable. She didn't even cry. But now I know she was carrying Mother… all of us… how did we let her do that? I should have done something… she was hurting just as much as us… and I let Mother blame her… but it was just as much my fault." Bethany fell into her tears. "How could I be so selfish?"

"There's nothing selfish about coping." He offered. But he felt selfish. He just wanted to get through that door to see Hawke. To know she was alright. To be the one she could lean on.

"Bethany?" Cullen made his way up the stairs. She seemed to try and restrain her sorrow, but the grief kept coming. As much as she tried to quell her distress, the mage's gasps became more frequent.

"Cullen…" she ran to him, her arms wrapping around his waist. "Please, don't judge me."

Alistair fought the smile as he watched the Templar's arms rest on the mage's shoulders. "Bethany… if I'm not going to judge you for being a mage, what would I ever judge you for?"

"You might judge me for what I'm about to do."

"… you're going to take your sister to get her friends back… that's blatant."

"I'm sorry…."

"I must object. You know Meredith's out for blood at the moment… you're putting yourself at risk."

Bethany growled. "If that woman thinks I will ever sit back and let her make me Tranquil, she can think again."

"I wouldn't let that happen. But if you do this, you're putting us both in the firing line. Is that something you're willing to do… you can't seriously think she will simply allow her Captain and a powerful mage to go gallivanting across the Free Marches?"

Bethany pulled away from him. "You're coming with us?"

His laugh seemed to rumble from within his armour. "Of course." Cullen smirked. "I can't let the Hawke sisters have all the fun. There's a mage to bring to heel, you'll need me…"

Alistair waved an armoured hand. "Again… ex-Templar."

"Again," Cullen mimicked. "Ex- Templar. Meredith knows your sympathies. You'll need me to get her support on this little endeavour… though how I'm going to get that… I am at a loss."

"... what about the stone?" Bethany ventured. "You said it yourself, that stone could change the Circle as we know it. Meredith has to see the value in that."

"Given all the trouble that thing has caused," Alistair cut in, "do we really think that's a good idea? You're on about handing something we don't understand and of seemingly great power to a despot… no offence." He shrugged at Cullen as the man gave him an irritated glare.

The Templar replied through gritted teeth. "Be that as it may, we can discuss that later… that stone may be our only way to pacify Meredith right now. I'll send word as to the plan, but I don't expect a courteous reply… she may well send more men."

"Then we should leave before she can deploy them." Alistair sighed.

…..

Fenris tested the binds at his wrists. He wasn't surprised when the rope yielded little in terms of release.

Ebony was looking at him, her eyes wide but also narrowed if such a thing were possible. "I gave you a chance, Sweetness. So you can stop looking at me like that now."

"A chance?" He smirked humourlessly, "you betrayed my trust… what you hope to achieve through this, I have no idea. And I don't care. You've signed both our death warrants because of your pettiness."

His fellow elf rolled her eyes, though she shot him an annoyed look. "You asked me to go against Ija… you knew how terrified I was but you did it anyway for her. You asked me to risk my life for her. I don't owe her anything but you asked me to put it all on the line anyway. You are a dog Fenris… but you don't seem to realise you've just traded one master for another… you're still on a leash."

The growl and his effort to stand earned her silence and a worried look, though she seemed to settle when he failed to stand from the chair he was bound to. "A leash?!" He snarled. "I stand with Hawke because I'm proud to be by her side. She protects people. She defends those who struggle to stand until they can clamber to their feet. She helps people like us. You just hide behind your fear because you've forgotten what it is to have pride. Love and loyalty is not a 'leash'… it is meaning. Something you have clearly never had…"

She closed the distance between them and her hand flew to his face. It stung where she struck, but not as much as his shame. He wondered briefly how he could have been so blind to trust her. Now that he looked at her in the dim light it seemed so obvious.

She had been broken for so long, he doubted she could even remember how it was to feel whole.

"Hit me all you want. That won't change the fact you're ashamed of who you are."

"I'm alive." She answered coldly.

"If this is what you consider a worthwhile life, perhaps you should re-evaluate. Not that I imagine it will be a long one… not when this woman you're so terrified of finds out you returned the stone she's so fond of to us…"

Her expression darkened. "If she finds that out…"

"I imagine she will kill you." He stated simply, his tone cold. "What a wise decision you have made. It seems I am not the one on a 'leash'… although admittedly perhaps a 'noose' would be a better description in your case…"

"… you're trying to goad me. It won't work."

"I don't need it to. You already know. I can see it in your eyes."

"You know nothing about me!" She barked. Turning to leave the room.

"I know all I need to." He called after her. She paused as she reached the door. "You're afraid, and now you're alone."

The door slammed behind her.