A/N: Sorry, guys, I know that this chapter is short. But we've got to get world-building out of the way eventually. The next chapter is better, I promise.

NOTE: This story is much better to read on ArchiveOfOurOwn, due to the ability to color the font!


Again, Dirk wasn't entirely certain of what he was going to do. He had sent the proof of his audition to Hal, and now, he was alone in his room with some free time on his hands. While Dirk normally loved every second that his little brother wasn't breathing down his neck, he couldn't enjoy it at the moment.

He had been staring at the school website for nearly ten minutes, and had yet to actually do anything. He wasn't sure why the school thought including an anonymous message board would be a good idea. It was something about letting kids "open up to each other," and "air their thoughts without fear." Some hippie bullshit like that. Dirk had been against the message board from day one, but now, it interested him.

He had the confession that Roxy had told him about pulled up, and he had read it over so many times that it was memorized. Not that it was saying much — it was a very short, and direct post, made on the public board for everyone to see. A user under the name of "Blue," had proclaimed that he was into men. And… that was all that Dirk knew. Just three sentences, but they all boiled down to one simple fact: he was gay.

He sighed, and took a deep breath, before clicking on the "create an account" option.

He left most of the information blank. There was no email attached to this account, no age, no name, nothing that could possibly make anyone think that this was Dirk. He entered his username as "Kamina," along with a password, and went back to Blue's account. Dirk had never talked to anyone on this website before, but the "chat" option seemed promising. He knew that Roxy could tell him how to navigate this website, but he didn't want to ask. She would start asking why he was interested, and Dirk refused to admit that he was. He just… he wanted to talk to Blue, and see if that would help him figure out why he cared so much.

It was tempting to sit at his desk for another year or two, until Dirk worked up the courage to start up a conversation, but he had wasted enough time already. Without further preamble, he clicked on the "chat" icon.

KAMINA began chatting with BLUE at 8:21 pm

KAMINA: So, uh
KAMINA: Your name is Blue
KAMINA: But your text color is green.
KAMINA: How does, uh,
KAMINA: How does that work?
BLUE: Quite the head scratcher im sure
BLUE: I could use blue if that clears things up

BLUE changed his font color to blue at 8:23 pm

BLUE: But i find that its a tad bit more difficult to make sense of
KAMINA: Yeah, God, never mind.
KAMINA: Can you change back?

BLUE changed his font color to green at 8:23 pm

BLUE: Certainly
BLUE: I must say this is a jolly change of pace
BLUE: Normally when i get a new message its to tell me that im going to hell
BLUE: Or did i beat you to that part?
KAMINA: What?
KAMINA: No, dude, I'm not going to tell you to go to Hell.
KAMINA: You don't seem all that bothered by the negative feedback you're getting, though.
BLUE: Oh, its fine
BLUE: I was expecting it
KAMINA: Then why would you come out?
BLUE: I was, uh
BLUE: *Nervously wipes my forehead with a handkerchief*
BLUE: I was hoping that i would be wrong
KAMINA: Oh.
BLUE: You must think im completely daft
KAMINA: No, not at all.
KAMINA: I think it's…
KAMINA: Sad,
KAMINA: But also,
KAMINA: Inspiring.
BLUE: Inspiring?
BLUE: Are you also…?
KAMINA: Gay?
KAMINA: No, definitely not.
KAMINA: Not that there's anything wrong with it, or anything wrong with you. Everybody has got their preference and yours so happens to be roughly in the same shape of a sausage link. Props to you for getting the guts to tell potentially over 300 kids that. Mad respects, brosevelt. You're totally cool for liking dude. I personally just girls.
KAMINA: Well
KAMINA: Maybe.
KAMINA: I'm not entirely sure. I've been looking for confirmation.
BLUE: Thats ok
BLUE: Its ok to not know
KAMINA: How did…
KAMINA: I mean, for you, was it… I don't know, obvious?
BLUE: Hmm
BLUE: In hindsight, yes
BLUE: But it wasnt easy for me to figure out. I thought that i only liked girls for most of my life.
BLUE: But then high school made it undeniably obvious that i wasnt just attracted to maids
BLUE: Uh
BLUE: This probably sounds absurd coming from someone you just met but it became pressingly more difficult to ignore when i started seeing women. I kept picturing men rather than the ladies themselves and a fellow can only imagine the awkwardness that would ensue after a date or two.
KAMINA: Oh.
KAMINA: I see.
BLUE: Would it upset you?
BLUE: Being gay i mean
KAMINA: I'm not sure. Yet.
KAMINA: I'll figure it out.
KAMINA: Thanks for talking to me.
BLUE: Of course :)
BLUE: Ill be waiting to hear from you about your findings

KAMINA ceased chatting with BLUE at 8:57 pm

Dirk sighed, running a hand over his face wearily. Why was he doing this? To prove something? Prove what? He didn't care about people being gay. They could do what they wanted with their lives. It had never bothered Dirk before, but now that he was starting to apply the label to himself

He pulled up Blue's profile, and stared at it. His mouse hovered over the "chat" icon, but… he couldn't start up another conversation after just ending the last one.

Getting to his feet, Dirk turned the monitor off. He could think of at least one thing that would keep him busy for a few minutes.

He followed the familiar path down the stairs, ending up in front of D's office door. Talking about this stuff with his dad wasn't exactly the most comfortable decision, but the way Dirk figured, he should at least figure out how D felt about "this sort of thing" before he could even consider how he felt about it. Dirk didn't want to make some deep "self-discovery" just to find out that his own father thought that it was disgusting.

Raising his hand to knock, Dirk was surprised when the door opened before he could so much as brush it with his knuckles. "For the record," D sighed, leaning against the doorframe, "I can hear your footsteps. Hate to break it to you, lil' man, but we do have wooden flooring. It creaks." He stepped back, and gestured for Dirk to come in.

It wasn't often that Dirk went into his dad's private office, but he wasn't going to complain. He closed the door behind them, and sat on the couch near D's desk. His father reclaimed his spot in his office chair, spinning himself around in it a few times. Dirk considered being judgemental (a grown man probably shouldn't be spinning in an office chair), but hey, D had paid for that chair, so he could do what he wanted in it. Besides that, spinning in office chairs was always a good idea.

"So, what's bugging you, Dirk?" D asked. He turned his computer monitor off, and crossed his legs. His elbows rested on his knees, and he placed his chin against his palm, gazing at Dirk seriously from behind his shades. "You never visit your old man unless it's for something serious, so let's talk."

Even though that was exactly what Dirk came to do, D's prompting made him pause. He swallowed hard. "It's, uh…" Suddenly, it hit him that he was making a horrible mistake. If he started asking about gay people out of nowhere, D was smart enough to put two and two together, and end up with four. Four, in the metaphor, being code for Dirk's sexuality suddenly being questioned. It wasn't as though he had ever lied awake at night thinking about how straight and heterosexual he was. Dirk had never even thought to question it before. And now that he was… Fuck, he wished that he could just be a normal straight guy and move on with his life. "It's this… thing at school." He sighed finally. "I want your advice on it."

Intrigued, D raised an eyebrow. "Advice? From me? You've never asked for that before." He turned and opened his drawer. Much to Dirk's surprise, D pulled out a large pack of 102 Crayola crayons. He handed it to Dirk, who took it with a blank stare. Okay, there was probably a joke with this. He turned the box over in his hands, but it looked normal. Hesitant, Dirk opened it. Inside, there were 102 crayons, as advertised. And they were all the exact same shade of red. "Well, color me impressed." D said, barely holding back a grin. "My little boy is all grown up, and finally recognizing what an invaluable treasure trove of knowledge I am." Deadpan, Dirk pulled out one of the crayons, and turned it sideways to read the color listed on the side. And, in the proper font and everything, the word "Impressed" was printed neatly and legibly, as if it had rolled off of the shelf at Wal-Mart like that.

Dirk wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

He checked a few more crayons just to be sure, and as expected, they all said "Impressed" as the color. He had to take a deep breath, and closed his eyes. "I can't believe this is how you spend your money…" Dirk pushed his shades up, and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from crying. Fuck. "That was… that was really good." He wheezed. "Oh my God…"

D chuckled faintly, and smirked. "I've had that ready for years, Dirk. Waiting for this glorious day. It was worth every fucking penny." He took the box back from Dirk, fixing the crayons back into place silently while he waited for his son to recover.

Really, Dirk shouldn't have been surprised, but he was having trouble pulling his thoughts together after D slammed him in the face with the most dad of all dad jokes. He came here for a serious conversation, and D just… he just pulled out a motherfucking box of crayons… Dirk rubbed his temples, and let out a groan. "God, I fucking hate your sense of humor." He took a deep breath, and opened his eyes. "Can we talk seriously now? Please?" He asked weakly.

"Hmm," D thought about it, "yeah, sure." He nodded. "That's the only joke I've got so far. I'm completely serious now."

Skeptical, Dirk raised an eyebrow. D looked serious enough, but Dirk very well knew that his dad had a better poker face than anyone else. He didn't trust it. "...fine." He said anyway. With a sigh, he sunk down further in the couch, and crossed his arms over his chest. Instead of looking at D, he stared at the wall in front of him. It was easier to just vent, instead of watching his dad's face. "There's… a kid at my school who's… he's different." Dirk bit his lip. "He came out openly about it, and he's getting tons of shit from the other kids because of it. I don't know what to do. I'm not going to be an ass to him, obviously," he saw D starting to open his mouth out of the corner of his eyes, and continued when D snapped his jaw shut, "it's just that I'm… kind of curious about his different perspective. I just don't know if it's, well, smart, I guess. If he's getting shit for it, then I will too if I try to get involved. But I still want to know about it. Does that make sense?" He looked at D, a frown on his face.

For a moment, D didn't look like he understood in the least, but then he slowly nodded. "I… think I've got it." He said. "I know that teenagers are vague for a reason, so I'll just, uh, let you think you're being sneaky and not ask for specifics." He sighed, and stretched his legs out in front of him to sit in the chair properly. "Okay, so, this seems kind of like a culture thing. If he's getting shit for it, then I would suggest that you stick up for him. But if you're curious about… his culture, I guess, then just talk to him more about. Try it out yourself, see what you like and what you don't, and find if it's something you like. If you don't like it, then whatever, you still tried to see things from his perspective. And if you do like it, then you just discovered a new part of yourself. But as long as his "culture" doesn't even hurting other people, I would encourage you to try it out. Safely." D raised an eyebrow. "Is that good enough advice for you?"

Dirk thought about it for a moment. Maybe D was right… He didn't know if he was gay or not, and Blue seemed to have a very firm grasp on it. And besides, there was no harm in exploring the possibility. Even if it turned out that Dirk was, he didn't have to actually do anything about it. He didn't have to even tell anyone. Furthermore, it was still fairly likely that he was straight and perfectly normal, and the only reason that he was interested in Blue was because he had never thought about homosexuality before, and Dirk had always liked to learn new things.

"Yeah." He said finally. "Yeah, I think it is. Thanks, D— uh, dad." He got to his feet, and thought about hugging his dad for a moment, but that seemed like it was going a little too far. Good advice or not, this was the man who had just handed him a dad joke planned ten years in advance. Dirk turned and left the office, closing the door behind him to leave D in peace.

He took the stairs two at a time, and dropped down into his desk chair harder than he probably should have. His browser was still open on the school website, and he only hesitated for a moment before clicking on Blue's chat icon.

KAMINA began chatting with BLUE at 9:19 pm

BLUE: Golly back already?
BLUE: I wasnt expecting to hear back from you so soon chum
KAMINA: What can I say? I'm a decisive sort of guy.

BLUE: :B
KAMINA: Anyway, I thought it over
KAMINA: And I think I am.
BLUE: You think youre what?
KAMINA: I think I'm gay. At least partly.
KAMINA: And, um, I guess that I also think that I want your help figuring out how this works exactly.
BLUE: Hmm.
BLUE: Well, ive never helped anyone discover their sexuality before!
BLUE: Itll be an adventure!
BLUE: An adventure in self discovery *wink*
KAMINA: Can't wait.

Dirk was pretty sure that he just made, what was quite possibly, the worst decision of his life.

And yet… something about Blue made this whole thing seem much less… disturbing. Something about Blue coaxed Dirk into talking to him well into the wee-hours of the morning, until he fell asleep at his desk with a smile on his face.