OMG WHAT IS THIS? A FAST UPDATE? IS THIS REAL?
It is real. I'm so excited. -/-
Thank you Carluwu for staying up and beta-reading this. Wuf wuf.
Happy reading~
Chapter 7: Her Story
Kazuna was only a few steps outside of the restroom when she realized that Hitoshi was sitting alone. Fusako might've gone to get something for herself, but when the distance between her and the bench got shorter, she noticed the absence of the girl's bag. The uneasiness pounding in her chest made her sprint back as fast as her feet could bring her. She got even more worried when she saw Hitoshi's murky expression, even the way he was looking at her from far was darker than before. She wondered what could've happened in the five minutes she was gone.
"Hey." Greeting Hitoshi, her breathing stayed irregular. "Where's Horita?"
"She had to go back home," Hitoshi answered.
Kazuna frowned. "Really…? What did she say?"
"She was in a hurry," Hitoshi gave a concise reply, blocking any chance of getting another question. "Do you want to go home?"
Kazuna glanced at box of snack that hadn't been touched by Hitoshi. She knew because she remembered the exact shape and position from when she gave it to him. There was a chance of him taking a piece, but she doubted it. It didn't matter. She had to think about whether she wanted to be here longer or go back to the apartment. She hadn't spent thirty minutes here and the trip back and forth already consumed the same amount of time. The weather was as nice as it could get for being outside in a park, so she might want to be here a bit longer.
"Yes, let's just go back," she decided against her thought. Hitoshi didn't speak a word back as he stood, grabbed his backpack, and slung it over his shoulder. She followed suit, only that she repacked her churros with the plastic that came with it and put the whole thing inside of her bag. This would keep them warm. She couldn't do the same if she put it in the bicycle's basket.
They went together to the parking lot without saying anything to each other. Hitoshi was some steps ahead of Kazuna, but she didn't even try to move her legs a bit faster. She kept thinking about the reason why Fusako suddenly left without a specific reason. Hitoshi didn't seem to be the type who would anger someone out of nowhere—at least it never happened during the past few weeks of being with him from morning until dark. Something must've happened between them and if allowed, she wanted to find out what.
She stopped walking when Hitoshi suddenly did it first. He turned around as she raised her head, meeting his deep-colored eyes. He parted his mouth, but closed it right away. He wanted to say something, but he held back. People usually did this because they were either too scared to know the answer or they were too lazy to cause problems that wouldn't exist if they choose to shut up. Her heart raced because her uncertainty was most likely true. There was no way Hitoshi would act this way if a burning question didn't bother his mind.
"Will you be honest with me?" After being quiet for a moment, Hitoshi asked.
"Eh…? Y-yes?" Kazuna almost bit her tongue from the tension rapidly increasing between them. Somehow, "will you be honest with me?" sounded more menacing than a simple "can I ask you something?".
Hitoshi took a long breath, longer than anything Kazuna'd heard before. "Can you tell me why did you lie to Horita about your quirk?"
Adrenaline rushed through Kazuna's veins because she didn't see this question coming, but she remained calm and unruffled. "I guess, I was—I… didn't want to scare her…"
"But why?" Another question came out. "You never lied to anyone about this. I know you're proud of your quirk. You even told everyone that you failed the exam for the department of hero and you didn't mind answering their questions. What makes her different?"
Kazuna was annoyed at the fact that Hitoshi couldn't leave her alone. He was intending to stay here and interrogate her like she'd done a huge mistake. He wasn't going to move on until he got what he wanted to hear. Knowing this, she wished she could run away from here. Perhaps by tomorrow, he would forget about everything. If that wasn't enough, she'd keep her distance until he got tired of it himself.
"Why aren't you answering?" Hitoshi carried on. "How could you know that it was a male student who pulled her hair?"
"What? I never said it was," Kazuna stated. The way she breathed became harder to control, but she could always hide it. Hitoshi wouldn't notice it. He wasn't supposed to notice anything.
"You did. You said 'a guy pulled her hair'."
"I just randomly said it. The words… The words are similar." Kazuna's voice trembled as she changed her excuse. "It could be anyone, Shinsou. Don't read too much into it."
"Is that so?" Hitoshi continued, not even hesitating. "I knew something wasn't right when you wanted to visit this park, moreover when we coincidentally met Horita. How you acted around her was different—we both know you aren't that talkative. Don't say that I'm looking too much into things, because I know I'm not. For me, it feels as if you've been here many times before."
Kazuna couldn't stand looking at Hitoshi any longer. Her eyes drifted down, first to his long legs, then to the pavement they were stepping on. Her palms were on the brink of being drenched, although it wouldn't matter since the fabric covering her hands could absorb the extra dampness. She didn't remember the last time she was put in a tight corner like this. She was always careful. She did things with a great plan backing it. If there was a trophy for a fifteen-year-old who could enter a villain's hideout without being under hysteria, she'd win it.
"Did I make a mistake by telling her about your real quirk?" Hitoshi asked once again. "She was fast on picking things up. Maybe I did make a mistake by asking her if she was the one telling you about this park or when I mentioned about the person pulling her hair or when I was obviously confused when I heard that you lied about your—"
"Please stop…" Kazuna plead, finally letting Hitoshi hear her frail tone. She gritted her teeth and turned around, planning to leave through a different street from where she came. Too bad she didn't have the Yanagi siblings' quirk, because Hitoshi could easily seize her arm, halting her before she could budge even a meter away from here.
"Don't be like this. Talk to—"
"Stay away!" For the first time in her life, she shouted at Hitoshi while pushing him harshly. She glared at him, but it wasn't the kind of full-of-hatred look. It was a warning that he shouldn't stand too close to her.
Kazuna had to admit that Hitoshi's surprised face and speechlessness pained her heart. If this was considered as a fight, then she would take all the blame on herself. A part of her wanted to apologize, but her mind spoke otherwise. She let it control her body by running away. She didn't even look back once to check whether Hitoshi was following her or not. She hoped he didn't.
Horita Fusako's case was quite common.
She was an only child living with her two parents. She had good grades and her family never faced any financial or other unmanageable problems. They seemed to have a perfectly normal life, but her parents no longer talked to each other since she started school. As she grew up, she caught her mother hanging out with different men, younger and older. One time in middle school, she had a rare opportunity to be alone in the dining room with her father's unlocked phone when he went to the bathroom. She found him sending lecherous messages to the widow who lived two streets away from them.
She always felt alone, but the situation wasn't any better in her school. She never had a problem in communicating with people. When she was in middle school, she managed to be close to four girls, but none of them seemed to understand her struggles. They always talked about themselves, boys, the new shoes they got from their aunt, and countless frivolous things. When she began opening up to them, all they could say was that her parents loved her regardless, maybe what she saw or read was a mistake, or she should care less because she might've imagine her family problem to be worse than what it was.
She didn't want to hear those words. She wanted them to say that her parents were the worst and that they should've treated her better because no kids on earth deserved to be born under such circumstances. She didn't hate her parents because they gave her shelter and everything that came with it, but she wanted her friends to have some empathy.
One time, she couldn't contain her emotions and let everything out at them. Instead of understanding, they left her. They saw her as some sort of wild creature for not being happy. That night, she cried, but she should've known better. Ninety-nine percent of people only cared about themselves. Those who could find those in the one percent were the luckiest ones. She also got unlucky because she met childish kids whose stumbling block only went as much as not having enough pocket money or getting rejected by the guy they had a crush on, but still thought that they had the most miserable life.
She passed her school years by being distant because she'd lost trust in people, especially if they were too young to understand anything. She was one of the few people from her school who got accepted into Yuuei. She deliberately ignored people who congratulated her—she could tell they were just a bunch of hypocrites who tried to win her heart, only to use her as a subject to boast about. "Hey, my friend is attending Yuuei" would make some people proud about themselves, for some reason.
She was kinder in high school. There were only three boys and one girl from her previous school who got into the department of support and none of them ever talked to her. She met new people who seemed nice, but she didn't feel like having a relationship higher than mere classmates. She'd rather spend time reading novels in the park or playing video games in her room. She'd only be involved deep in a conversation if it was needed, like in a group project or something similar.
This was only a small part of Fusako's life that Kazuna learned from reading her memories. This was the reason why Kazuna tried to get to know Fusako, because she hoped to be the kind of friend for her. She felt bad that Fusako was lonely. She wanted to help Fusako. She tried to turn Fusako's high school days into better ones. It didn't matter anymore because her plan had failed with no way back to fix it since she'd traumatized Fusako. Someone with a quirk to erase memory could help, but it wouldn't happen with a snap of her fingers.
As soon as she got back to her apartment, Kazuna took her shoes off and ran to her room, turning on her air conditioner, throwing jumping onto her bed with her uniform on. She lifted both of her arms up, staring at her hands before changing her position to sitting. She aggravatingly removed her gloves and tossed them on the floor. She never enjoyed wearing them. In fact, she was disgusted by them. What was the point of wearing gloves if she could still read people's memories with them on?
The room was freezing when Kazuna woke up. She realized that she'd forgotten to shelter herself under the warmth of her blanket, but it was because she couldn't even remember the moment she felt drowsy and fell asleep. She looked at the clock hanging on the wall; it was almost seven, which meant that more than three hours had passed since she left Yamakami Park. She rarely had an afterschool nap because she didn't want to be too energetic during the night and mess up with her sleeping schedule. The unfortunate things that had occurred throughout the day must've drained her stamina out.
Slowly and carefully, she got up to sit on the edge of her bed. She felt very wobbly and a bit light-headed, like she was about to faint if she didn't support herself with a hand on the hard mattress. Her stomach rumbled like thunder and she was thankful that no one was here, so she didn't have to go through another round of being humiliated and not having a clue on what to do.
Before doing anything else, she opened her phone to check if there were any personal messages left for her, but there was nothing. She thought Hitoshi would be looking for her because he was a thoughtful person, but she understood if he couldn't easily forgive the way she projected her anger towards him. She decided to go to the bathroom to wash her face before going back to her room and change her clothes into something casual—for her, it was always a pair of short pants and a t-shirt. Nothing screamed comfort more than the feeling of cotton against her skin.
By this time, she would've cooked dinner at Hitoshi's place. She didn't think it would happen today, so she took her wallet from her school bag and put it inside her shoulder bag—her favorite one to use when she went out shopping. There were many affordable restaurants nearby that she hadn't tried, so she was planning on trying one of them. As she prepared to leave her apartment, she began searching the map on her phone for the kind of cuisine she felt like having today. For someone who loved basically everything, this would be quite challenging.
Right when she opened her apartment's door, a rumpling sound startled her. A plastic bag that looked full and heavy was hanging on the handle. She had an instant assumption of what it might be, but she wouldn't know for sure until she opened it. She found a complete set of bento that people could get from almost all convenience stores in the country, a bottle of orange juice, and two boxes of strawberry milk. Her heart was pinched by the fact that the only person who was blessed with a heart big enough to do this was none other than Hitoshi. Besides, which of her other friends lived in this lot?
She made a change to her plan as this was proof that Hitoshi didn't hold even a tiny bit of grudge towards her behavior. She used the elevator to travel one floor below and went to Hitoshi's place. She took a deep breath when she stood in front of the door, preparing herself for a few seconds before knocking. She thought Hitoshi wasn't home when she had to wait longer than usual. She planned on contacting him on LINE and coming back here later, but none could happen when the door was opened, showing Hitoshi with his wet hair down and long fringe covering his eyes. This was a view that she had never seen before. If he had a dark hair color like the majority of people in this country, she wouldn't be able to recognize him.
"Hello…" Kazuna spoke first, clenching her hands. "…I'm sorry."
Hitoshi seemed dumbfounded as it took him quite some time to nod. "It's okay. I understand. Please don't think that I'm angry at you."
Kazuna's face eased up as she beamed like she'd gotten the best news of the month. "Thank you, Shinsou… Also, for the food…"
Hitoshi glanced down at the plastic bag. "Good thing it wasn't stolen."
Kazuna lightly chuckled. "You should've left a message, but I think we have good enough neighbors…"
"I didn't leave any message because I didn't want to bother you. I thought you needed more time to yourself," Hitoshi explained while stepping sideways, creating a way for Kazuna to pass through. "Come in. Let's talk inside."
Kazuna wished she could put how thankful he was because of Hitoshi into words. It was rare to find a teenager that could be this gentle, patient, and understanding. Adults couldn't even act this way, let alone someone who was still developing mentally. If the role had been switched, she would've contacted him, begging him to talk and relax. She wouldn't think that not everyone could cry out when they weren't feeling well about themselves—some people even preferred to stay shut forever. Hitoshi on the other hand, always calculated things thoroughly.
"Let me heat your bento," Hitoshi said when they got into the dining area. The two cats sleeping near the bedroom door only opened their eyes once to check on Kazuna who'd been here a lot. Hachi who was no longer scared of her presence always made her feel very welcomed here.
"Thank you," Kazuna gave her plastic bag to Hitoshi before sitting on one of the dining chairs. She watched him put her bento inside the microwave and set the timer, then keep her drinks inside the refrigerator. He waited for around a minute before taking the bento out with his bare fingers—he could handle it as it wasn't too hot. He placed the bento in front of Kazuna before going back to grab her utensils and fill an empty glass with the cold water from the refrigerator.
"I'm sure you want your drink to be cold, so is this enough?" Hitoshi placed everything he held besides Kazuna's food like he was a private butler. "And forgive me for getting you cheap food."
"No, don't say that… This is good. Thank you again," Kazuna said, unwrapping the plastic covering her chopsticks and dug in. She was starving and she wasn't ashamed to be a little pig when Hitoshi was around.
In quietness, Hitoshi occupied the chair across from Kazuna. He brought one leg up, resting his elbow on top of it while watching her munching. He smiled and she noticed it as she slowed down to act more like a lady, but her awareness made him laugh instead. No matter how she looked at it, he must've seen her as a hungry clown—entertaining because of how silly she projected her hunger, but also a bit creepy at the same time.
"H-hey, why do you style your hair up?" Kazuna picked the most appropriate topic for now, as what she always did. It wouldn't feel so good if the only thing happening for the next five minutes was Hitoshi staring at her eating.
"It's hot. It grows fast and I'm lazy too cut it every month," Hitoshi gave a reasonable answer. "Why do you ask? Do I look better with my hair down?"
Kazuna rapidly shook her head, as if Hitoshi told her that she'd insulted him. "No, you look good either way…"
"Is that so?" Hitoshi brought his leg down and his body forward with two arms overlapping each other on the table. "If it's me, I like it more if you don't wear gloves like… now."
Kazuna stop chewing on her rice as she widened her eyes. She didn't know what to say back to his—perhaps-suggestion, so she chose to continue eating.
"So, I kind of get what's going on between you and Horita, but do you want to talk about it? Or later after you eat?" Hitoshi didn't think twice to reveal the fact that he couldn't let go of the accident at the park, making Kazuna almost choke for the first time. She knew that most likely this wouldn't be the last.
"It's… okay." Kazuna put her chopsticks down, getting ready for this necessary conversation. "I mean, tell me. What did she say about me?"
"She asked about your quirk and I told her, also the part that you couldn't read any memories while wearing gloves. She said you were obviously lying about that and that you must've read hers when you took a picture of her scalp and touched her head, and that was the reason why you were following her to the park. I stopped her from leaving, but all she could say was that she wouldn't tell this to anyone as long as you stayed away from her and kept everything you know to yourself. I tried my best to explain that you aren't the kind of person that would use your quirk for something unjustifiable, but she didn't want to listen. I understand you were trying to befriend her—I won't ask why because I know you won't tell—but she took it the wrong way."
"I need to stay away from her," F/N quoted one of Hitoshi's sentences.
"Do you still want to be near her after she reacted like that?"
Hitoshi's question was like a knife slashing against Kazuna's heart—it struck her hard with the realization of what she'd lost. She wasn't dumb and oblivious. She already knew from the moment everything went down that Fusako would never ever trust her the second time. There was no way for Fusako to even be able to say hi to her normally. She shouldn't be offended if the next time they met in the hallway, Fusako wouldn't even glance at her, treating her like she didn't exist. This was all her doings and she deserved it.
"So, you can still read memories through your gloves. What about hats? Helmets?" Hitoshi continued, not allowing Kazuna to even rest her brain and process everything.
"Yes, as long as I can feel your scalp, I can read your memories…" Kazuna bravely clarified. "That means, I can do it through hats, or towels, but not helmets…"
"Okay. Why are you hiding it?"
Kazuna curled her lips, looking like she was trying to suppress her tears although she didn't actually feel like crying. "Can I… tell you something?"
"I want to know everything."
Kazuna lowered her head, staring at the bento box that was nowhere near empty. "You know I was born in Osaka, but I moved to a middle school in Hiroshima. I actually went to a middle school in Osaka for like… two weeks."
"Why?"
"… because I told everyone that I found out wearing gloves would keep me from reading their memories, but there were many kids from my previous school that went to that middle school. With them, I couldn't start a fresh life. It was the same story all over again. No one wanted to be near me," Kazuna explained. "I begged my parents to transfer me to a school where I wouldn't meet anyone from my hometown. They found a private all-girls boarding school in Hiroshima. It was better there, at least…"
Hitoshi sighed with a pitiful look in his eyes. "I understand, but how bad was it until you had to move school? It seemed to be more extreme than how you just described it."
"Do you have any fears?" Kazuna asked back.
"Any fears?" Hitoshi repeated the question with one raised brow. "Of course. I'm sure everyone does."
"What is it?"
"I'm always scared of being nothing."
"Being… nothing?" Kazuna made sure that she didn't hear it wrong.
"Yes. I'm scared of not living my dream, not working the job I love, stuff like that. Why? What about you?"
Kazuna didn't answer as quick as Hitoshi as her mind wandered off. Usually, when people were faced with this question, they'd answer with height, darkness, insects, confined spaces, meeting new people, traveling somewhere without someone to accompany them, watching horror movies—the list could go on endlessly. What caused anxiety for most people didn't bother her at all. She wasn't even afraid dying. At worst, these things would scare her for a second and then she'd feel alright after taking a deep breath.
But there were a few things that could fill her with dread; people who deemed her as a bad person before they knew anything about her, people who got terrified when their shoulder accidentally brushed against hers, or people who were on guard whenever she was around, just in case she'd touch their head for whatever reason they might think of. Her quirk was the main culprit of why many people didn't want to stand too close to her. She couldn't even remember the last time she was genuinely invited to join a group of friends.
"I'm scared of being exiled…" Kazuna muttered. "…I suppose."
"You mean you're scared of being alone?"
"No, I don't mind being alone."
"I mean, you're scared of being lonely?"
"Yes… Maybe…" She took a deep breath before looking back down. "But I understand why I have to feel lonely. I can't help it and I've come to accept it."
"You mean you were always alone?" Hitoshi slumped back in his chair, emphasizing the past tense. "I don't know if you notice, but we have a similar quirk. I was always alone too. Everybody misunderstood me no matter what I did. I used to only have my parents on my contact list, but now I have you and everyone else. I'm not alone anymore. Definitely not lonely. You're here with me. I don't hate this. Who's Horita even? She's from a different department."
Hitoshi's sweet reply forced Kazuna to smile, even when she didn't feel like doing it since her mood had plummeted since daylight. He wasn't wrong. If the same thing had happened before she got into Yuuei and met some amazing people, she wouldn't have anyone to turn to. Fusako was just a one-time mishap. They wouldn't meet each other because they would never be in the same class. She didn't mean to be rude, but it'd be a slightly different story if Fusako was someone more significant.
"There's the smile," Hitoshi playfully remarked. "Do you feel better now? Go finish your food and you'll be completely fine."
"Yes… Thank you," Kazuna said, holding her chopsticks again. Hitoshi was also here with her, and for her. She didn't hate this either. Definitely, as sad as she could get—she wasn't as lonely as she was before.
There's still more to her quirk… or not? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
