Saturday nights were always very uneventful for Dirk. He was a rather antisocial person, so much to his lack of surprise, his weekends were usually free. He put the time into his programming, mostly, and sometimes he focused on hardware over software, but he wasn't as skilled with his hands as he would have liked to be. The plans always looked nice on paper, when he sketched them out with rulers and compasses, and he felt that his cramped writing all over the diagram made it look more professional. More cared for, in a way.

And then he would go to start actually building the device, and he would make a compact computer hard drive look more like a lopsided duck.

At the moment, he was having trouble with a computer program that was supposed to revolutionize AI. Emphasis on "supposed to," because it didn't really do that yet.

Dirk had quickly designed a basic chat program so that he could communicate with the AI. "Communication" was another thing that wasn't going very well. He grimaced as he read over what it was telling him now.

?: ERROR

?: SYSTEM MALFUNCTION

?: SOURCE UNIDENTIFIED

?: RESET REBOOT ERROR RESET REBOOT ERROR RESET REBOOT

?: ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

With a sigh, Dirk closed the chat program, a frown on his face. Well, at least it was using proper words now. That was a start. It didn't make any sense, but it was better than the random strings of letters and numbers and symbols that it used to send Dirk. He could slam his face onto the keyboard and come up with something more legible than that.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, but Dirk steadfastly ignored it. He only had a week of his life left before he had to start doing rehearsals, so he was going to pour as much energy as possible into this while he still could. His hardware wasn't exactly revolutionary, but if he could successfully complete this AI program, he would be world famous.

Even more famous than D.

Dirk worked for a few more minutes, his phone buzzing almost constantly. He knew that it wasn't Blue, of course. He was watching the Avatar: The Last Airbender cartoon series, which was homework assigned to him by Dirk in the hopes that it would bless him with some form of taste. If he saw Jake, he would ask if he had recently watched the series, too. Just to be sure that they weren't the same person.

Because they definitely couldn't be. Dirk didn't want to date his friend's ex, especially not after recently making up with said friend. Furthermore, did Blue even like him? They talked every day, but they really hadn't known each other for a long time. Maybe he wasn't looking for a relationship. And maybe Dirk wasn't, either. He wished that he would stop thinking about Jake and Blue so much. It was making it difficult to still call himself "questioning," and he didn't think that he wanted to start thinking of himself as "gay." Because he wasn't. It was completely ridiculous that he, Dirk Strider, would be gay. Other people could be, but Dirk was insistent that he had to like some girls.

He blinked and then realized that he hadn't typed any code for ten minutes. His phone had stopped buzzing though, and Dirk pulled it out with a frown. He might as well check it, if only for his own peace of mind. It was about what he had expected — twenty unread texts from Roxy. He sighed and put his phone on silent before slipping it back into his jeans pocket.

Turning back to his computer, he started to check the next line for any mistakes he might have made but paused. Maybe he should try something else. Just to really think about this "gay" thing.

He had never been interested in girls through puberty, but boys weren't very interesting to him either. There were never any wet dreams, painful crushes, or the awkward shit that teenagers struggling with feeling horny for the first time typically went through. Even during the few times he had masturbated, there was never anything specific that Dirk thought about. He would just touch himself in the shower and make it quick so that he could finish getting clean. He always focused on the physical way it felt. He didn't have any fantasies playing through his mind, and there was never any face or body that he pictured. Dirk had just assumed that, naturally, he would like girls. He had never bothered searching for anything like this before, but he opened a Google browser anyway, and typed in "hot girls."

Was it classy? Not at all. But it didn't have to be. It wasn't like Dirk had a plethora of girls lining up outside his door for him to scan and figure out if he was gay or not. Roxy was attractive, and Jane was pretty cute, but he considered them both to be like sisters.

So Dirk pressed "enter," and waited patiently for the page to load.

The first result was a girl that couldn't be much older than 10. It looked like an ad for a "hot" sale on girl's swimwear, but it still made Dirk uncomfortable. Good to know that he wasn't into that. Other than that, it was all pretty standard stuff. There were a lot of butts, and chests that look like butts, and a few lesbian photos… Most of it was bikinis, but there was some lace too, and a couple of nurse outfits.

Dirk grimaced. Was this what he was supposed to like? The more he scrolled, the more creepy it got. Sure, they were all attractive women, but if this was supposed to turn him on, it wasn't doing a very good job of it.

"Hey, Dirk!" D shouted, suddenly throwing his bedroom door open dramatically. "You've got someone who's— oh." His gaze instantly snapped over to Dirk's computer screen, and a smirk came to his face. "Well, never mind. Do you need a box of tissues? Some lotion, maybe? I bought them all in bulk, like, four years ago just waiting for this. You're a little late, but I'm sure they'll still work fine—"

D laughed when Dirk chucked a spool of wire at him, stepping out of the way easily. "Dad, oh my God, no." Dirk groaned. His face burned with embarrassment, and he quickly turned off his computer. Good thing he saved projects frequently. "I was just— I wasn't going to—" He sighed. "What do you want?" He settled on.

"Right now?" D raised an eyebrow. "I'd like for my son to learn to lock a door when he's going to rub one out, or at least take it to the shower like a respectable gentleman. I'm kind of questioning your preferences, though. I expected a teenage boy in your generation to know how incognito tabs work."

Dirk almost wanted to throw something else, but instead, all he did was let out a sigh. "Don't be such a jackass, please?" He stood up, picking up the wire spool he had thrown and placed it back down on his desk. "What did you come into my room for, D?"

"Oh, that?" He arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, well, since we're on the topic of good-looking young ladies," he inclined his head towards Dirk's computer, "someone has come to drag you off to a party against your will. And I'll give you a hint; it's Roxy."

There was a moment where Dirk thought to pull out his phone and double check this story, but he never got the chance. He heard the sound of the front door opening, fast footsteps on the stairs, and he looked over D's shoulder just in time to brace himself for being rammed into by his best friend.

"Rox," he wheezed, putting one of his hands on top of her head, and the other around her shoulders to awkwardly hug her back, "you could just greet me normally, instead of causing serious bruising."

She shook her head in a flurry of blonde hair and pulled back. "Well, I wouldn't have to do that if someone, meaning, you, Dirk Strider, would answer his phone. I texted you at least thirty times!" Roxy flung her hands up, but as much as she tried to sound angry, Dirk knew that she didn't mean it. She was always telling him that it was impossible to stay mad at him.

Now that she had backed up, though, Dirk suddenly noticed what she was wearing. And it was ridiculous. It wasn't surprising for Roxy to dress up oddly, but this was definitely something else. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you aware that you're dressed like an old-timey wizard man?"

It was almost impressive. The robes were a deep shade of purple, and the stars she had stitched onto them were so neat that it took Dirk a moment to realize that she had done it herself. Instead of wearing regular shoes, she had ones that looked more like leather slippers, with the toes curled up like one of Santa's elves.

His comment made her smirk, and Roxy chuckled. "Yes, I am very well aware." She said proudly. "It's got a matching hat, a long, flowing white beard, and I've got a staff. It's all in my car, along with what you're going to be wearing tonight."

Dirk was unsure if he was supposed to laugh or not. "What I'm going to be wearing?" He snorted. "I'm sorry, Rox, but you've got to be out of your fucking mind if you think that I want any part in this." His words came out teasing, but Dirk was serious. If there was one thing that he hated more than theater, it was parties. Why would he want to be stuck in a small place with a bunch of mouth-breathing idiots? Public school was bad enough, and Dirk only went because the hands-on experience was something that he couldn't get online. Not yet, anyway.

Roxy rolled her eyes, apparently unconcerned with what Dirk wanted to do for his Saturday night. "Aw, c'mon. You're too young to be a middle-aged shut-in, and you don't have nearly enough cats to get away with it. Let's go. I already got your dad's permission," Dirk shot D a dirty look, and got a shrug in response, "so tonight, Strider, you're going to be getting drunk, flirting with girls, and having fun for once. Plus," she added with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "you have to come, or Janey's costume won't work, and she'll be disappointed."

It was the easiest and most obvious way possible to get Dirk to go along with something. He knew that he would regret asking, but he sighed and asked anyway. "Why would she be disappointed?" He said it deader than dust, but Roxy didn't seem fazed in the slightest.

"Because you two are matching, duh." She rolled her eyes. "Jane wanted to go as Sherlock Holmes, and that means that she needs a Watson. Whom just so happens to be you, yay!" Roxy clapped her hands in a mock cheer. "And you can't let her down so soon after rekindling a friendship as deep as yours. So stop with the frowning, and let's go. You can get changed in the car."

Saying "no" would have been so easy. Instead, Dirk was taken aback. "What, you mean that Jane is already outside? In her car? With her costume on and everything?" He asked, looking a little dumbfounded. He couldn't help but be surprised. Roxy was often very "spontaneous," but she was banking a lot on Dirk being a good friend.

It seemed like Roxy didn't really understand the huge risks her plan was relying on because she nodded, her grin only managing to widen. "Yep! And that means that you, Dirk, are comin' with me, whether you want to or not. Which you definitely do! Because you know that you can trust Roxy to show you a good time." She winked, and took Dirk's hand, tugging him insistently towards the door.

"Rox, I don't know if this is really—" Dirk started to protest, but not only was Roxy cornering him, but his dad was conspiring against him, too. Those two were evil bastards, out to ruin his life.

"Have fun, sweetie!" D called loudly, interrupting Dirk. He had given in, going to the stairs willingly, though there was a grimace on Dirk's face at the prospects of the party waiting for him. "Have him home by eight for me, Roxy. I know I can trust you, being the gentleman that you are. Oh, and if there's any alcohol at that party, feel free to bring some home for me." If he noticed the glare that Dirk shot in his direction, D didn't show it.

He waved cheerily at Roxy, unbothered by the fact that Dirk didn't want to go, or that they were underage, driving to a party that would definitely have alcohol, the fact that they would be unsupervised, or the clearly observable clock above the front door that showed it was already past eight.

Dirk barely got his shoes on and grabbed his jacket before Roxy was tugging him out the front door. "Thanks, Mr. Strider, I'll get him home safe, promise!" She called into the house as she shut the door behind them. Never mind the fact that Dirk was very likely to end up driving both Roxy and Jane home.

Normally, Jane wasn't the type to drink, but Roxy could be very convincing, and Jane was a huge lightweight. Dirk had fairly high tolerance, but he wasn't going to be touching any of the drinks. He would play along with Jane's costume, have enough fun to satisfy Roxy's mother hen tendencies, and then go home.

Seemed like the makings of a very fulfilling night, and definitely not a waste of time.

"Whose party are we going to, anyway?" Dirk asked. True to Roxy's word, Jane's truck was parked neatly in his driveway. The car absolutely dwarfed her, but she drove it like it was made of class.

Roxy climbed into the back seat, hefting herself up before turning to help Dirk was a smug smile on her face. It was kind of annoying, Dirk mostly found it endearing, so he rolled his eyes, and took her hand, letting himself be "helped" into the back of Jane's truck. "Meenah's hosting the party." She said, buckling up and reaching into one of the many bags on the floor of the truck. "She would have texted you, but she didn't have your number. And I am a girl of opportunities, so I got her number while you were in auditions. Good thing, too." Roxy added. "Otherwise, could you just imagine? We would've missed out on a great party!"

"Oh, the horror," Dirk remarked dryly. He watched Roxy feel around a few bags before she let out an affirmative grunt and hefted the plastic Wal-Mart bag up onto the seat between them. It wasn't very easy to see in the low light, but it looked like a lot of plaids, which was always awful.

Next, Roxy pulled up another bag, putting it on her lap. "These are my accessories, and those are yours." Now that she had corralled Dirk into going along with her devious plans for having a fun Saturday night, she had calmed down. Roxy's voice was a little quieter, and much less rushed. "You've got one of those long jackets, obviously, and a cute little hat, but Jane wanted to wear the mustache, so you'll have to go without, 'm afraid."

From the front, Jane laughed faintly but didn't say anything more. She was paranoid about driving, and always paid as much attention to the road as she could.

As tempting as it was to give in and allow himself to enjoy time out of the house with his friends, Dirk found himself being unsurprisingly stubborn. "Oh, goody-goody gumdrops." He rolled his eyes, but nonetheless, took his costume out of the bag and held it up. It wasn't handmade, like Roxy's, but it suited the old-timey idea of Sherlock Holmes well enough. At the very least, it was nothing like the modern reboot, which Dirk considered a blessing.

While Roxy focused on getting her fake beard on, Dirk shrugged into the long coat, buttoning it up. His jeans were still visible, but they went with the outfit well enough, and he didn't think that anyone would care that he wasn't wearing slacks. He put on the tweed hat and frowned as he reached into the bag and pulled out a pipe. It looked like one of Jane's dad's, which it most likely was. The man had way too many backups.

He shrugged, and put it back, taking out a magnifying glass instead. It was a cheap little plastic one. That was good because, with Dirk's luck, it would end up broken if it was real.

For safekeeping, he tucked the magnifying glass into his pocket and turned to Roxy. "How do I look?" He asked.

Pausing with her beard half-on, Roxy turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Missin' something…" she muttered. Dirk couldn't imagine what he was missing, but suddenly, Roxy's face lit up. "Oh, wait!" She reached into one of the bags she had been hunting around in earlier and pulled out a makeup bag. Dirk grimaced at the sight of it, but let Roxy continue without interrupting. Luckily, she didn't pull out any lipstick or blush or mascara. She took out a pen and held Dirk's face still with her left hand. With the right, she carefully drew a small circle under the corner of Dirk's eye and filled it in. "There." She said with satisfaction, putting the pen away. "A cute little mole for a cute little guy."

Dirk sighed, but what was the harm? It wasn't like he was going to be seeing the mole at all. "You truly are something else, Roxy Lalonde." Was all he said.

He didn't get an immediate reply. Roxy fixed a wizard hat on top of her head and adjusted her beard so that her hair could hide the string keeping it attached to her face. Dirk noticed that there was a long "wizard stick" lying along the floor of the car. But Roxy would probably be using it later for some impressive "majyyks," so he didn't think about it for long.

"'Something else'?" Roxy snorted. "More like something amazing. What do you think?" She wiggled her eyebrows as she turned to let Dirk see the full effect of the costume.

He pondered the question for a moment. Costumes were very serious business, after all. "You could use some old wizard spectacles," Dirk suggested. "You can't be a wizard without ridiculous glasses."

Roxy nodded solemnly. "Too true, too true. Hold on, I think that I might have something in here…" She started digging around one of the prop bags, but Dirk's attention was grabbed when he noticed that the truck was stopping.

"We're here." Jane sighed, relaxing as she parked the car next to the curb and turned the engine off. Dirk didn't know where "here" was, but it looked like Roxy was right about a party.

There were cars lined up and down either side of the street, and they all looked more impressive than theirs. The people coming to this party were definitely trying to impress, no doubt because Meenah had the reputation of being the richest kid in town.

Even though she didn't live with her mom most of the time, they still owned a house in the area. Relatively speaking, it was small. Compared to a mansion, anyway. Meenah hated relying on her mom for anything, hence why she worked to save money to move out, but she also wasn't the type to complain if her mom left her with the perfect place to throw a party, and then disappeared for a week or two.

From down the street, Dirk could still see the bright lights flashing from the house. It was modern and sleek, two floors, but still enough area to fit about three of Dirk's house into it. And that wasn't even counting the yard. Meenah did have a pool, but it was empty most of the time. It was a constant source of frustration to the people she invited over to hang out, which was the only reason Dirk even knew about it. Teenagers complained a lot, and usually, very loudly.

"You gals ready?" Dirk asked, stepping out of the truck. This time, he helped Roxy out. She slipped a pair of wire frames onto her face as she set her feet on the ground, turning around to pull her wizard staff from the car, too.

Jane got out as well and came around to the other side to stand with them on the sidewalk. "I'm ready." She straightened her tweed hat. "How do I look?"

The mustache on her face was a little crooked, so Dirk fixed it before giving a faint smile. "Like a true mystery man." He replied. "Fuck, Janey, I think I'm gonna swoon." That made her giggle, and Dirk found himself relaxing. It was worth it to be out of the house if it was making Roxy and Jane happy.

He reached back into the car, grabbing the pipe he had ignored earlier. "Oh!" Jane took it gratefully. "Quite a good eye, Dirk. I was afraid that I forgot this." She had to get on her tiptoes to kiss Dirk's cheek, but she managed, smiling gratefully.

"Alright, everyone good?" Roxy clapped them both on the shoulder and looked between the two of them. When Dirk didn't say anything, and neither did Jane, Roxy grinned. "Good, that's what I like to hear! Now, c'mon! We're late enough to this shindig already."

Dirk still wasn't convinced that he would be having fun at this party, but he followed Roxy up to the house, anyway. The music didn't travel as far as the lights did, but he could hear a pounding beat a few houses down, and once the three of them were close, he could understand what the muffled lyrics were saying.

He didn't want to go into detail, but hopefully, there weren't any children nearby. It seemed best to just leave it at that.

Around them, all of the houses had their lights out. Dirk assumed that they were either being paid to ignore the noise, or they had wisely decided to go out for the night and return when most of the teenagers had left. Either way, he doubted that the volume would be brought down any time soon.

When he approached the door, Dirk went to knock, only for Roxy to take his hand. She shot him an amused look as she lowered his hand back to his side. It took Dirk a moment to realize how pointless knocking was. Meenah wouldn't hear anything over the music. He turned red at the realization, and Roxy sighed, before simply opening the door.

It was quickly made obviously just how much soundproofing Meenah's walls had to have. The music was so loud that it was impossible to hear his own breathing, and as much as Dirk loved to blow out his eardrums when he was in one of those "moods," the sheer volume actually made him wince.

In the back of his mind, it had occurred to Dirk that their costumes were probably going to be too "conservative" for a high school party. He had pictured costumes that resembled underwear more than proper clothing, but he relaxed when he saw that he was wrong. Sure, there were a few cat costumes, a girl in a very sheer Wonder Woman costume, and a sexy nurse, but other than that, things were relatively normal. Dirk saw a few toilet paper mummies, a football player, and a poorly done zombie. Clearly, no one was here for the tasteful costumes.

"Oy!" Considering the pounding music, and shouting crowd, Dirk was surprised that he heard Meenah speaking at all. The crowd parted for her easily, and she walked through the mass of bodies like she owned the place. Which, Dirk supposed, she did.

Unlike those of her peers, Meenah's costume was definitely expensive and designed to draw people's gaze. The look reminded Dirk somewhat of an Egyptian queen, with a modern flair to it. Her dress was solid white, complimenting her Hawaiian skin tone, with one sleeve that hung low on her arm. On the other side of her body, her skirt was hiked up to mid-thigh and pinned in place, showing off the glittering heels she was wearing with it. Around her waist and neck, Meenah her golden bands. Dirk wouldn't have been surprised if they were real gold, though they were most likely a faux alternative. The bands had "jewels" set in them, glittering brightly. To complete the look, her hair had been let out of its braids and was hanging long enough to brush her waist. A circlet finished the look, gold like the rest of her costume, with a large, red jewel at the front of it.

"Glad ya could make it!" Meenah grinned, pulling Dirk and Jane into a side hug, and winked at Roxy. "Guess he came after all. Remind me later that I owe you a twenty." She gave Dirk and Jane a squeeze and then sashayed back into the crowd. After all, she had a party to manage.

To himself, Dirk quickly scanned her over as she moved away from them. Like the girls on his computer screen, Meenah was pretty, but she definitely didn't do anything for him. Maybe he just wasn't attracted to strangers? But then, why wouldn't he find Jane and Roxy desirable? Inwardly, Dirk sighed. He would figure this out some other time.

"You bet on whether or not I would come?" Dirk asked, turning to Roxy. He felt like he should be upset, but he was struggling to hold back a smile as it was.

She shrugged, grinning. "Yep." Roxy drawled, popping the "p." "And I totally won, too. Thanks for the twenty bucks, Dirk." She put a hand on his shoulder and nudged Dirk away from the door. "Now c'mon, stop being such a downer. This is a party!"

Dirk was pretty sure that he could manage to be a downer while still attending a party, but he sighed good-naturedly, and let Roxy pull him in with her infectious smile. He couldn't dance to save his life, but that didn't stop him from following Roxy into the dancing crowd. Everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. Couples were grinding, or slow dancing, and most girls and boys alike were just moving to the rhythm of the music. No two people were dancing in exactly the same way, and yet, the crowd pulsed with an energy that felt like one. It was almost electric.

The flashing lights didn't make the house any less dark. Dirk thought about taking off his shades a few times but decided against it. It wasn't like it mattered — Meenah's house was big, but it wasn't like he would be getting lost in it. Regardless, it only took a few steps for the sea of teenagers to swallow him whole.

He couldn't have taken five steps, and already, Dirk felt dizzy. The flashing lights had almost a hypnotic effect, and the pounding music kept him from calling out for Roxy or Jane. They were probably fine. Those two could handle themselves.

Fighting the crowd would only piss people off, so Dirk took a deep breath, and tried to move with the motions. It wasn't exactly easy or "fun," but it didn't take Dirk long to work his way towards one of the walls. The throng of people deposited him by the huge snack table, which was… fitting. Dirk grabbed a couple of cookies and poured himself a plastic cup of punch before walking off. He stuck to the outside of the "dance floor," watching the crowd for any familiar faces. He knew that the punch was spiked, but he sipped on it anyway, absentmindedly munching on a cookie as he watched the crowd. It was so easy to forget why he was here in the first place, and just enjoy it…

But, of course, Dirk was too smart for easy things like that.

The flashing lights started to hurt his eyes, and he knew that the house probably wouldn't be "quiet" anywhere, but he wandered off searching for a place where he could hear himself think. The kitchen had a lot more food, most of it pushed over to the side for teenagers dressed in varying levels of decency to sit and chat. Dirk didn't understand what was so hard about standing, but that was a battle for another day.

Meenah's house was huge, and even that was probably an understatement. He doubted that he would get lost, exactly, but it seemed like she had rooms filled with shit just for the hell of it. She had a perfectly good pool outside, but even so, Dirk found one room that was filled with just a bunch of smaller inflatable pools.

He was willing to bet that D and Meenah would be great friends — they could trade notes on the most ridiculous ways to spend money.

So far, Dirk was pretty sure that a majority of the kids from school were here. Not that it was surprising. The teenagers in his town rarely had anything to do, and so they tended to go… overboard when they finally got the opportunity to have proper fun.

Regardless, Dirk didn't know any of the kids personally, which helped him relax. Cronus was also apparently absent, which was weird. He doubted that Meenah had time to watch everyone who went in and out of her house. But, hey, Dirk wasn't about to complain. The party was obnoxious enough as it was.

On the second floor, where the music was significantly quieter, Dirk was glad to find a movie theater. A movie that he didn't know was playing on the oversized screen, but it was still better than dealing with people his own age. More importantly, the room was dark and empty, so he had plenty of room to himself.

His shades made it a bit hard to navigate the dark room, but nonetheless, Dirk managed to make his way over to a seat in the middle of the theater. People who liked the very back or the very front were obviously missing out — this was the way to go.

"Um," Dirk nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard someone speak up, "nice to see you again, Dirk."

The fact that it was Jake talking to him did little to calm Dirk's pounding heart. He felt embarrassed and hot, as though he had just made a fool of himself, despite the fact that he hadn't done anything besides enter a room. "Jake," He sighed and sat down with one seat between the two of them. "What are you doing in here? I had you figured for the type of guy who loves parties."

Jake scoffed playfully, waving that away. "I do, but what kind of party could beat a movie like this?" He turned back to the screen, excitement on his face. "I haven't seen this one since I was a tike! It was my grandpa's favorite."

That little bit of knowledge made Dirk pay proper attention to the screen for the first time. He soon recognized the movie. National Treasure, starring Nicolas Cage. Inwardly, he grimaced. It seemed like bad movie taste ran in the family genes. "Your grandpa," Dirk licked his lips nervously, "is he…?"

There was a moment of silence, but then Jake sighed, and nodded. "Yes," He muttered. "Don't— don't bother apologizing, please. Everyone does. But I'm really not that upset by it, as awful as that probably makes me sound." Jake laughed awkwardly. "It's… well, he was just such a happy fellow whenever we got to see each other. He lived here, in America, see? And I've lived in England my whole life. So, we never saw each other a lot, but we did call and video chat. He was always very cheery, so I don't like to disparage him by being sad that he's gone. Instead, I try to… be happy that he was around at all. Not everyone gets to be close with their grandparents, Dirk."

There was a moment where Dirk didn't know what to do or what to say. Jake was so… sweet. They had only talked twice, but even so, Dirk was surprised by how fond he was growing of Jake. He was a nice guy and charming in a silly kind of way. Sure, he wasn't exactly the most attractive person Dirk had ever met, but what person didn't have an awkward phase in their teenage years where nothing could make them look good?

He swallowed thickly and reached his hand out to set it over Jake's. "That—"

Jake's hand went to the red, plastic cup in the cup holder instead, and Dirk quickly retracted his hand. Luckily, Jake was also pretty oblivious. That was a good thing. Dirk felt an embarrassed flush over his face just at the idea of being caught, and he hadn't even touched Jake. "Say, I think I'm going to get myself a refill." Seeing the look Dirk shot him, Jake smiled. "Relax. It's juice — there's some left in the fridge that hasn't been tampered with yet." He stood up, and then paused, looking down at Dirk. "Do you… want me to bring you back some?"

The question was well-meaning, but Dirk found that he couldn't answer it. Now that Jake was standing, Dirk certainly got an… eyeful of the costume he had chosen to wear. That blush that he had been holding back quickly returned, full-force, and he felt foolish for thinking just a moment ago that Jake wasn't very attractive.

Apparently, clothes made a huge difference. More specifically, how tight those clothes were. Dirk had no idea what Jake was supposed to be and, frankly, he didn't care. Jake was wearing a ridiculously tiny pair of jean shorts, that made panties look like modest coverings. They hugged his body perfectly, tight to the point that it reminded Dirk of a coat of paint. He had gun holsters strapped in place, too, the exact right length that they squeezed his thighs below the cuffs of the jeans and didn't bunch the material up. There were two pistols in them to complete the look, though Dirk noticed that neither had a magazine in, which was a smart choice on Jake's part.

"Uh… what are you dressed up as?" Dirk asked. He was trying not to make it obvious that he was staring at Jake' ass, and he really wished that he wouldn't, but it was just so… hard to ignore, in those shorts.

If Jake noticed that Dirk was staring, then he was an excellent actor. He only blinked, tilting his head to the side in a frustratingly cute way that didn't belong on someone wearing shorts like that. "Hm? Oh, this old thing?" He looked down at his outfit as if just realizing that he was wearing it. "Ah, well, it's inspired by a movie I like. Tomb Raider. Have you seen it?" Jake asked, excited to ramble about his movie. "It's excellent. I've always loved Lara and her adventures, so I more or less copied her look for today's event." He turned around to let Dirk get a proper look from the front, and Dirk had never been so glad to be wearing shades. His eyes widened, and he realized that his assessment of Jake's body the day before had been incredibly off.

Now, he still wasn't the most muscular person Dirk had ever seen, but he was obviously doing something active in his life, because the tighter his clothes were, the harder it was for Dirk to look away. Jake had so much potential. If he maybe put in an hour a day at the gym, spent a little bit of time evening out his tan, and switched to contacts instead of his dorky glasses, Dirk could see easily half of the girls in their school hanging off of his every word. Why did he wear loose clothing at school and then come to a public party in an outfit like that with a completely innocent and confused expression?

Dirk was torn between finding it adorable, and incredibly idiotic.

The shirt he was wearing was plain white muscle shirt. There was nothing simpler in the entire clothing industry, and yet, Dirk found that it was oddly "attention-drawing." Goddamn it all.

He wished that Jake would just go and get his refill because, at this rate, Dirk was going to have a hard time telling himself that he wasn't gay. That was alarming because if Dirk was good at one thing, it was lying to himself. Jake was messing the whole thing up, and Dirk would have loved for that to make him hate his British friend, but unfortunately, the weird and confusing bouts of affection towards Jake only seemed to be getting more common.

"Oh. Uh, cool." Inwardly, he groaned. Yeah, he couldn't be much smoother than that. "Um… your refill?" Dirk prompted.

Jake blinked, and then his eyes widened slightly in recognition. "Right, of course! Gosh, I can't believe it slipped my mind when I'm holding my cup right here." He laughed a little, and Dirk could only stare back at him with confusion as he struggled with the bizarre feelings rising in his chest. "I'll be right back. Don't go running off now, Strider."

Once Jake was out of sight, Dirk cocked his head, listening for when the door shut over the sound of the movie on the screen. He could no longer remember what the name of this movie was or even register what was happening. As soon as Jake had left the room, Dirk relaxed and sighed heavily.

Feelings.

How nice.

He thought for a while that he had learned to master those things, but apparently, Dirk wasn't as good at being emotionless as he thought. Of course, he always felt things, but he was usually so much better at repressing them, or at least, not letting them get to him the way they were now.

It didn't make sense to him. Jake wasn't the first attractive or nice or dorky boy that Dirk had ever met. Then again, he supposed that he didn't have a lot of men in his life. There was his dad, but Dirk adamantly refused to think of D as anything even close to attractive, no matter how many times D assured Dirk that, yes, he was quite the "babe magnet." And, Dirk knew Cronus. He hated himself for even thinking the name, but admittedly, Cronus was kind of okay-looking in the right light. Or lack of light. Still, Dirk had never acted this way around guys before.

Maybe now that the possibility of being gay was at the forefront of his mind, Dirk was starting to actively think about it. That seemed like as good an explanation as any. That was settled, but it wasn't the huge problem that Dirk was worrying over. The question wasn't why he was thinking about Jake like this, the question was how he was going to make himself stop.

Abruptly, Dirk got to his feet. Roxy had had more than her fair share of her crushes in the past. Dirk knew this because he was always the one that she came to when she needed to cry over her latest crush of the week, or when she wanted to talk about how amazing they were. Dirk never minded all that much. Roxy was his best friend, so of course, he was happy to help her there. Besides, all of her experience with getting over crushes might finally be useful. Knowing her, she was most likely by the snack table, trying to convince Jane to have something stronger to drink than water.

He knew that Jake would be expecting him here, so he decided to just make this quick. That wouldn't be a problem. Roxy talked fast and usually gave pretty good advice.

It took Dirk a minute to remember the way back to the main area, but it helped to follow the sound of the pounding music and shouting. He headed back towards where he last saw Roxy and Jane, and it wasn't long before he stumbled his way right back into the throng of dancing and grinding teenagers. He doubted that they were even grinding correctly — most of what he saw was just an awkward, clumsy mess of two people trying and failing to get as close as humanly possible. It was like they wanted to be one person. Dirk didn't see the appeal.

He scanned the crowd for a wizard hat or a girl wearing a mustache, only to come up empty. He doubted that Jane would like the dance floor much anyway, so he decided to check the kitchen instead.

Dirk only poked his head in, quickly scanning for Jane and Roxy. He didn't see either of them, but he did see Jake. Even though Dirk knew that he should try to avoid Jake until he figured out what to do about the weird and creepy attraction he felt, he still hesitated. After a second of deliberation, he stepped forward, just to ask Jake if he had seen Jane or Roxy anywhere. He needed to start talking to Jane again anyway, so this would fix two problems at once.

However, that plan quickly went out the window, and he paused. There was… a girl. She was awfully close to Jake and looked more than a little drunk. Dirk assumed that her girly pirate costume had looked neat at one point, but her hat and glasses were lopsided, her skirt was ruffled, and her lipstick was—

Well, it was currently being smeared across Jake's lips. And he didn't seem to have much of a problem with it.

Dirk wasn't sure how that made him feel, so he turned around and shut the door before he had to find out. Who Jake kissed was none of Dirk's business. It wasn't like they were dating, or that it Dirk even cared. Because he didn't. He didn't give a single fuck if Jake wanted to leave him and start kissing some floozy.

Likely, that girl had been his girlfriend. And suddenly, Dirk felt incredibly stupid for being attracted to Jake. There was no proof at all that Jake even liked boys. In fact, it seemed pretty obvious to Dirk that he didn't. He really was an idiot, for thinking that Jake could be Blue, and then letting himself get invested when Jake was only being friendly. He was a nice guy. Nice guys were friendly to a lot of people. Dirk wasn't special or different just because Jake English called him "chum," and smiled at him.

He truly was pathetic.


In the end, Roxy's advice turned out to be invaluable. Dirk didn't necessarily ask for it, but usually, when Roxy was upset, she would get shit-faced drunk and then cry on a stranger's shoulder.

That was kind of what Dirk was doing, only he wasn't yet drunk enough to justify sobbing about his gay feelings to a stranger.

"Gay feelings" was an over exaggeration of course, because Dirk was still (mostly) sure that he didn't have any gay feelings towards Jake. Or, guys in general. Dirk didn't want to limit his antipathy to only the people who made him miserable. Everyone could be included.

He was currently working on finding the bottom of his… well, it was at least ten of those stupid, plastic red cups by now, but Dirk had lost track of the proper number. It was enough that there was a pleasant buzz in the back of his head and he could no longer remember where the drink table was, or even what room he was in. Those things didn't matter much. Whenever his cup was close to being empty, someone would hand him another. Sometimes he had snippets of people's faces, the scenery changing, lights flashing, music pounding to the beat of his heart, and it all left him dizzy and grinning. Why didn't he do this more often? It was so easy to left himself go and have fun.

Dirk had also managed to lose his costume at some point. He had the hat still, but the coat was long gone. He had a suspicion that he had taken it off because he got hot, but it was also likely that it had been removed at some point while he was dancing. And then Dirk's attention was grabbed by a girl in a sparkly outfit who walked by him, and he didn't have any suspicions at all.

Somehow, Meenah had managed to find liquor strong enough to make Dirk dance. It would be admirable if Dirk could remember who he had even danced with, and why. Or, for that matter, who "Meenah" even was. Maybe she was one of the girls he had danced with. Dirk couldn't recall their faces, just a blur of color and lights.

He almost wished that everything could feel as carefree as dancing.

For the moment, Dirk was content to prop himself up against the wall, and drink deeply from his plastic cup. He had stains down his front shirt from where he missed his mouth, but Dirk didn't care. God, that was an amazing feeling. He wished that he could stop caring more often, because it felt like a liberation, in a deranged sort of way. Only, he was holding himself back. Nothing else was stopping him from feeling this great all the time.

He was considering a bright future as an alcoholic when Roxy finally caught up to him. "Dirk!" She looked slightly flushed, out of breath, and her clothes were rumpled. Dirk knew that she was tipsy, but she usually was, so he didn't let it concern him. "Where've you been? You look like you got brutally beaten with a lopsided bat."

Dirk smiled serenely. "Thanks," he sighed, a slight slur to his voice. "Ya look worried, Rox. Ya oughta relax s'me, an'… loosen up." He looked away, only for Roxy to clap her hands on either side of his face and force Dirk to look back at her. He only blinked tiredly, squinting in confusion. In the back of his mind, he recognized that Roxy looked serious, but all he could think about was how her pale eyes reflected the constantly-shifting colored lights in the room.

"You are gonna talk to me." Roxy narrowed her eyes. "Dirk, you never drink. Did you lose a bet or somethin'?"

That was easier than telling her the truth, so he nodded. Dirk laughed a little, and then straightened back up and took his face out of her hands. "'s fine, Ro-Lal, just want'd ta… relax." He lifted his plastic cup up to his lips for another sip and then frowned. Where had his cup gone? He checked his other hand but, oddly enough, his drink was missing. Had he put that down too and just forgotten about it, like his coat?

It took him a moment to look up at Roxy, and Dirk's frown only deepened when he saw that she was holding a plastic cup. Had she had one when she walked over to him? He couldn't recall the details. "Dirk Strider, you are goin' home," she stated firmly. "I'll drive you myself, I don't care. Jane's chattin' with some girl from her math class, said somethin' about staying the night with her, and she gave me the car keys, so we're good to go. And you," she grabbed Dirk firmly by the forearm, tugging him towards the exit, "are definitely going to need a good rest and a cup o' coffee in the mornin'."

Dirk sighed heavily but didn't try fighting Roxy as she pulled him over to the exit. "D'ya have anythin' in the car for me ta wear?" He muttered. "I dunno if… dad would want me goin' home with a huge stain."

Roxy paused her insistent tugging and glanced back at him. It looked like she had only then realized that Dirk was walking around with a huge stain on his front. She sighed and grumbled to herself before continuing to lead Dirk through the throng of people and to the door. "There's probably somethin' in the car…" She muttered, mostly to herself. They were almost to the door when they were interrupted by a cutting voice.

"Hey, guys, where ya goin'?" Again, Meenah made her way through the crowd with ease and elegance, nothing at all like Roxy's impatient shoving. "Rox, you don't look nearly drunk enough ta be leavin' already," she joked, slinging an arm around the blonde's shoulder. Despite the fact that Meenah had clearly had more than her fair share to drink, she still looked as put together as ever. "And Dirk," she whistled jokingly, and looked him up and down with an approving eye, "you look even worse than you did when we were dancin'. Did someone slip ya the good shit?"

Something about that remark made Roxy stiffen. Dirk wasn't sure what, but even while completely plastered, he knew Roxy well enough to sense when she was upset. "Yeah, s'rry, Meenah." He faked a yawn. "Y'know 'm a goody-two-shoes, an' I can't really justify stayin' up any longer than I already 'ave. Thanks for, um, well, lettin' us come." That was why they were here, wasn't it? Because Meenah had invited them? Dirk was having trouble remembering.

"Aw, well, alrigh'." Meenah pouted playfully, and let go of Roxy to come up to Dirk instead. "I'll see ya at rehearsal. Startin' Friday, 'member?" She put her hand flat on Dirk's chest and leaned up, planting a soft kiss on Dirk's jaw. He could feel the cool mark that her lipstick had left, but remarkably, when Meenah pulled back, her lips didn't look smeared in the least.

He was still trying to wrap his mind around this phenomenon when Roxy impatiently rolled her eyes and practically shoved him out the door. Dirk wasn't in the right frame of mind to ask her to talk about what was wrong, and he got the feeling that asking would only make her angrier, anyway. Girls were odd like that.

"Here," Roxy said impatiently. She pulled a shirt out of the back of the car and tossed it at Dirk. He didn't remember walking down the street to the truck, but he nodded anyway and slipped it on. He realized halfway through buttoning the shirt up that it was a woman's shirt, and he also figured out that buttons were a lot harder than he remembered. A frown appeared on Dirk's face, and he sighed, grimacing in concentration as he tried to get it on.

He fumbled with it for a few seconds more before Roxy sighed heavily and batted his hands out of the way. She didn't say anything, wordlessly getting the top on with an ease that had Dirk mystified. It was pink and frilly and normally, Dirk wouldn't be caught dead wearing it, but he sensed that pointing out his fashion preferences wouldn't go over well with Roxy's current mood.

He got into the car without a word and looked out the passenger window as Roxy got into the driver's seat. She wasn't a great driver on the best of sober days and letting Roxy drive while tipsy was definitely not a good idea, but Dirk didn't care about making good decisions. He closed his eyes, prepared to sleep the drive away, and instead, he sighed. "Rox…" He muttered. "Y'know that there's nothin' between Meenah an' me, don't ya?" The slur in his voice probably made his voice less comforting than he intended, but nonetheless, it made Roxy relax.

"...I know." She admitted quietly. The speed limit was 40, according to the sign they had whizzed by, but Roxy was pushing 55. "That's not why I'm upset. I just wish that my love life wasn't such a disaster area, y'know? How hard can it possibly be to find a nice guy?"

Dirk sighed. Even when he was drunk, he knew that Roxy was lying. She hadn't made a proper confession to him yet, but everyone knew that she was crushing on him. She knew it, he knew it, and she knew that he knew it. It was a mystery why she tried to insist otherwise. "You'll find someone." He said in a lazy drawl, leaning his head against the window. Now that Dirk was relaxing, his southern accent was leaking through, and he didn't bother trying to hide it. He lived in Texas, so it barely counted as an accent in his town at all. "Someone'll come along, an'... an' they'll see how great you are, Rox, I promise." He yawned and lifted his hand up to cover his mouth, only to hit himself on the cheek instead.

He was so lucky that Roxy had been there to drag him home.

Their conversation stopped there, and Roxy let the rest of the car ride pass in silence. Aside from the sound of the engine, and the tires on the road, there was no noise. The radio stayed off, which Dirk was grateful for. Turning it on probably would have just made the air between them even more awkward.

Finally, Dirk opened his eyes to the familiar surroundings of their neighborhood. There weren't enough rich people in the area for it to count as a "rich neighborhood," but it was definitely full of nice houses. Dirk found that their familiarity calmed him, which was odd. Usually, the idea of his neighbors stressed him out beyond rational reasoning, but the buildings themselves were a welcome sight.

Roxy parked the car by the curb between their houses, and she was nice enough to turn the car around and make sure that the passenger side let out onto the sidewalk. With Dirk's luck, he would get out of the car and then stumble into the street right in front of a car. He had a high enough alcohol tolerance, but he handled it about as well as he handled emotion.

Suffice it to say, Dirk did not handle being drunk well, at all.

He got out of the car carefully, keeping a hand on the door for support. He was surprised when the door shut on him until he realized that Roxy was standing next to him, and had already put his other arm around her shoulder for support. "Rox, 'm not gonna lean on ya." Dirk frowned. "It would be… ungantleman-like. Gentleman? Ungentlemanly," he settled on after a moment. "And also, 'm, like… twice your weight an' height, so…"

That made Roxy roll her eyes. Her arm went around Dirk's waist, and she pulled him against her side rather forcefully. "Dirk, if I let you walk, you're going to trip going up the stairs and bloody up your face. And it would be a shame to waste all of those good genes that you got from your daddy." She smiled, but it didn't look sincere.

Dirk wanted to ask about it, but he found it hard to focus on one thing for very long. He let Roxy help him into the house, and the next thing he knew, he was half-way up the stairs. How had that happened?

"Uh, kiddos?" D's voice directed Dirk's attention to the foot of the stairs, and he almost tripped trying to twist his body around to look. Apparently, Roxy was right. She didn't point this out and only sighed as she tightened her hold on Dirk to keep him steady. There was silence for a moment as D evaluated them, and then he awkwardly coughed. "You, um… you know that it's almost one in the morning?"

In reply, Dirk just squinted from behind his shades. One in the morning? What time had it been when he left? He reached up, and pulled his shades off, looking them over with a frown on his face. Were they messy, or were his eyes blurry? "Hey, Rox, d'ya know how I managed not t' lose these?" He slurred. It seemed incomprehensible that he had gone dancing while drunk and hadn't even lost his shades.

Roxy shook her head in disappointment, before giving D an apologetic smile. "Yeah, um… I'm sorry, D. I had to round him up and get him out of the house without letting him hurt himself. It's not like Dirk's very elegant on the best of days." She shrugged.

D didn't look like he completely bought that, but he nodded. "And, kid, you know that you're wearing a woman's shirt, don't you?" He pointed out and then tapped his cheek. "Also, you've, uh, got a lil' somethin' on your cheek there."

Dirk reached up a little too fast and winced as he slapped himself in the face. Again. His hand came away smeared with red lipstick, and his mind jumped back to Meenah. "I guess I do," he said slowly. If his expression was any indication, Dirk was just as confused about this turn of events as D was.

"Well, as long as you know." D looked mildly concerned, but he sighed and waved them off. "Kids, get to bed. Roxy, I'll call your mom so that she knows I've got you for the night. The sooner you start sleeping off the hangover, the better. Head up to Dirk's room, and don't wake Hal, please."

With obvious relief, Roxy nodded. "Yeah, of course. We'll see you in the morning."

They turned again, continuing up the stairs, and as D walked away, Dirk managed to catch some of what he said to himself. "I'm a good parent," D muttered. "Kid comes home lookin' like he fucked someone… that's normal for teenage boys, right? It's not normal for Dirk, though… fuck" He headed back to his office, and Dirk returned to his bedroom at the end of the hall.

It felt like a year since he had been here, and Dirk collapsed onto his bed gratefully. He sighed, and rolled onto his back, letting his eyes close. There was a dip in the bed as weight was added, and he cracked one eye open to glance at Roxy. She shrugged out of her rumbled wizard robes, and Dirk wondered if she had taken the rest of the outfit off in the car, or at some point before.

"It's okay if I sleep on the bed with you, right?" Roxy asked quietly. She sounded almost afraid, as she took off her top to reveal a tank top. Dirk hummed, closing his eyes again as she went on to remove her bra from underneath it.

"'Course it is." He replied. "Ya always have b'fore." That obviously wasn't what Roxy wanted to hear. She groaned quietly and stood up. Dirk thought that she was going to leave, but then he heard the tell-tale sound of a zipper, the rumple of denim, and then Roxy sat back down.

She shifted, and Dirk felt her lay down on her side, facing him. "Do you think," Roxy sighed, "that we'll ever find love, Dirk?"

His mind went immediately to Blue, and then Jake, and he sighed. "Dunno, Rox." Dirk didn't open his eyes, but he turned to face Roxy, and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close. "'M sure you will… you'll love someone someday."

Roxy wrapped her arms around Dirk's chest in return, and let out a shaky breath. "I already do." She admitted. "I like them… a lot. I just— I don't think that they like me back. Or that they even can."

If Dirk had still been awake, he might have, faintly, heard the sound of tears dripping onto his sheets.