Thanks to the following:

roni2010-tealyellow for the favorite and reviews! Thanks for the feedback, and I hope you continue to enjoy :))

Lobos506 for the follow and favorite :)

alenkor for the favorite!

noone297 for the review. Thanks! I like the whole "Back to Hogwarts" idea and Draco and Ginny being together, so I just tried to combine the two in my own way. I hope I don't disappoint ;)

So sorry if I forgot anyone, misspelled names, etc.


The common room was empty when he returned. For that, he was grateful. With nothing more than shadows for company, Draco slumped down on the couch and stared into the fireplace. The flames flickered like his thoughts, whipping from one memory to the next. Ginny had fit against him so snugly, and for a brief moment, he had deluded himself into believing that everything would work out. She made him feel normal, safe even.

What was he doing? Really, what was he trying to accomplish? Fooling one naïve Gryffindor would not make up for what he had done. He was a screw-up, plain and simple. Worse, he was a cowardly screw-up who did not have the courage to stand up for himself, to say no. Even now, his forearm was itching in remembered pain. Oh, why had he not taken Dumbledore's offer when he had the chance? If he had, the Dark Mark would not have been branded into his arm. The indignity was the least of his pain. That one scar meant he could never live a normal life. If he even tried to, eventually his mistakes would catch up with him. They always did.

Whether it had been intentional or not, Draco had noticed Ginny staring at his forearm during detention. The usual questions had burned in her eyes:

Why did he do it? Did it hurt? How can he live with such a reminder? Does he regret it? The worst one was, "If he could go back and change things, would he still have taken it?" No clear answer stood out to him yet. Trade his freedom for his father's or mother's life? No one should ever have to make such a decision.

The first few times he had caught her looking at his arm, he had longed to shout that yes, it was still there, and no, it was not going away any time soon. If it had bothered her that much, why was she so insistent that they become friends? Was it just Gryffindor pride, a chance to say that she had made the proud Draco Malfoy beg for forgiveness? The possibility left a sour taste in his mouth.

He had half a mind to tell her he did not want the Dark Mark removed, even if there was a way to. It was a scar now, a reminder of past wounds. Every time he stood in front of the mirror and gazed at his uncovered arm, he recalled his past mistakes. The sight of it kept him in line in a way no person, not even Ginny Weasley, could.

If he had not even the courage to accept an offer of help from Dumbledore, who was he to accept her friendship? She had no reason to trust him, so why did she insist on becoming his friend?

Who was he to change? Did he really deserve it after what he had done? He was not a saint like Potter was, and truthfully, he had no wish to be. The world just did not make sense when Ginny smiled at him and he smiled back. It felt so wrong.

Father had once told him that the only cure for guilt was to move on with his head held high as if it were the rest of the world in the wrong. The maxim had sustained him through his years, filling him with an arrogance that now wearied him. Past and present burdens weighed on his heart. Nothing he did now could ever change what he had done then.

"So why am I even trying?" he murmured to himself, letting his eyes trail the flickering flames. The heat did nothing to warm his chilled body; the trifle defeat drained him further.

A familiar voice suddenly spoke up from behind him. "I'm wondering the same thing."

It should not have surprised him. After all, Pansy had always had a remarkable talent for showing up when he needed her most. It comforted him to know that some things, at least, never changed—not even when the people themselves did.

"You've changed, Draco," she continued softly, as if sensing his thoughts. Draco frowned as he remembered Ginny saying something similar.

"You don't let others dictate your reactions and thoughts like before. Instead, you're beginning to think for yourself. Just look at us! Before, you would have never sat down and talked to me like this. It shows how much you've changed."

Have I? he wondered. Or am I merely refusing to see the truth? I am a coward, plain and simple. Maybe the past few days have been nothing more than wishful thinking. Once a Snake, always a Snake. Before, I found that comforting, knowing that I would always have somewhere I fit in. But now, after seeing what could have been if I had a little backbone, I have come to resent that motto. It means I can never change. Not even for her.

The girl sighed when the silence lengthened between them. Accepting the quiet for what it was, a moment of reflection he desperately needed, she walked around the couch to sit beside him. Like him, she trained her eyes on the fireplace. Her lips twitched when he spoke up at last.

"Pansy?" he whispered. Her eyes finally met his. "Yes Draco?"

Why had he spent so long treating her like a house-elf? The girl had been his best friend for so long. They had shared secrets and dreams together, had late night talks over cold tea. While he vented his anger, she listened patiently and never once complained. In fact, he preferred her to Zabini, who was prone to making remarks that hit a little too close to home.

"Pansy," he began cautiously, "do you think a person can ever really change? You and Blaise know me better than anyone else, better than I know myself, actually. You would never lie to me. So tell me, can you see me becoming someone... Well, maybe not quite good, but perhaps not as bad?"

The young woman took a few minutes to gather her thoughts. For that, Draco was grateful, since he needed the time to sort through his own. When Pansy did speak, his head jerked up so fast he was surprised he did not hear an accompanying "snap."

"I suppose it all depends on your motive. Why do you want to change? Is it because of the Weasley girl? I see how you look at her, Draco. It's as if she is the redemption you keep reaching for but can never grasp."

"Oh, Draco." She sighed setting aside the real source of her heartache. "What was wrong with the old you? Yes, you were a lot angrier and pushed us away sometimes, but at least you were my...my friend then. Now I feel as if I don't even know you anymore. Who are you Draco? Who is the new man?" Pansy demanded, her dark eyes staring at him accusingly. Beneath the anger was pain—pain he had caused her. He was undeserving of her, just as he was undeserving of Ginny.

Ignoring the gasp he received, Draco suddenly reached over and dragged Pansy into his arms. As he gently pushed her head onto his shoulder and smoothed her hair with one hand, he smiled.

"I've never told anyone this except for Mother, but I love you, Pansy. If I had a sister, I image it would feel something like this." He frowned when a muffled sob racked her body. This was supposed to make her feel better, not worse. Merlin, would he ever understand girls?

"You've shown me more kindness and sat through more of my tantrums than anyone else. I just want to say thank you. I might tell Blaise more than I tell you, but it's only because he has a way of making me do what I should do even when I don't want to do it. You're my sister, the one who listens and helps me vent. You've held my hand through so much rubbish." They shared a mirthless chuckle, Pansy's thick with suppressed tears, as they acknowledged how true that was.

"You asked me who I am now. The answer is that I'm someone who understands what he wants. I want to be able to walk down Diagon Alley without clutching my wand and looking over my shoulder every second. I want to be someone who doesn't have to turn my face away when a child runs into his family's arms. I want to be able to look Potter in the eye and nod without hatred festering in my chest. I want to be a better man, Pansy. And I owe that man to you; Blaise, arrogant prat that he is; and yes, even the little Weasley." His voice cracked at the end, further embarrassing him.

"I can't do it without you all. I still might not be able to. I think... I think that's what scares me the most; that after everything, all the hard work and the pain, it still won't be enough—that I won't be enough."

They sat there for the longest, doing nothing more than holding one another, until Pansy remarked how sappy they were becoming. She eased out of his arms and wiped her face quickly. Stupid, blind boy that he was, he was still her best friend. He looked past her snide comments, her perchance for gossip, and her selfishness and saw her for who she was: a lonely girl looking for attention the only way she knew how. She loved him for it, more than he would ever know.

When he saw the liquid glistening in her eyes, he smiled and brushed the strands of brown hair out of her face. "Goodnight, Pansy. I'll see you tomorrow." Rising to his feet and striding away, the Slytherin acknowledged her whispered reciprocation with a wave of his hand.


Well, how was Pansy? Did she seem IC, but slightly changed from normal perspective? I know in The Power of Flight I made her out to be very different, but I think I like this Pansy more. Was her and Draco's relationship captured right? Any thoughts on how I could use her later on? Thanks for reading and for all the lovely reviews! ;)

Beta reading done by Marinka as usual! (P.S. if you see any mistakes, it's my fault. I have the terrible habit of revising my work after I have it beta'ed.)