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The next morning dawned too early. Sighing, Draco swung his feet to the floor and stood up. His roommates continued snoring, unaware of the conflict that was raging within him. It was as if a cyclone was whirling through his mind and ripping apart all his thoughts. A dull numbness spread across his chest.
This is right, he reminded himself. For the first time in his life, he was doing the right thing, no matter the consequence to himself. The haunting echo of a laugh flitted through his mind. He quickly shoved it away.
After dragging his robe on, he grabbed his packed trunk and slipped out the door. This early in the day, he had the castle to himself as he wandered down empty corridors and static staircases and tiptoed past snoozing portraits. Even Peeves was conspicuously absent this morning. For some reason, his absence alone made Draco's stomach tighten.
Everything is changing so quickly. Isn't there something for me to hold onto?
There was no one waiting for him at the station because he had told no one about him leaving. It was none of their business, he had justified to himself. Nevertheless, self-pity crept through his thoughts. The least they could have done was stuck their noses in and found out anyway. Heart in his throat, he pressed his lips together and hauled his trunk on the train.
He did not even have the dignity of choosing to Apparate home. Humiliation burnt in his cheeks and he glanced around the empty station self-consciously.
The Ministry, in its expected but still vexing way, had refused to lift the Apparation ban they had placed on the Malfoy family after the War. As "threats to wizarding and muggle society alike", they had been placed under house arrest, unable to Floo or Apparate anywhere not approved by the Ministry. Lucius, recently released from his temporary imprisonment, could not even step out the doors of Malfoy Manor without two dozen Aurors descending upon him.
"I will not feel sorry for myself," Draco chanted under his breath. "I'm going to get on this train and face Shacklebolt like a man. I won't look back. I won't." Mentally girding himself, he lifted his feet and pulled himself up. Before he could step inside a compartment, however, a shrill, frantic exclamation caught his attention.
"Draco, wait! Don't leave yet!"
Curious—and more than a little relieved at the delay —, Draco hopped off the train and peered around. His mouth dropped open as Pansy burst through the doors, her eyes searching the station for him. Some of his sorrow dissipated at her arrival, but the regret remained overwhelming. Half raising his hand, he waited for her to notice him.
Why had he ever doubted her? She was the foremost expect on gossip of all kinds. It should not have surprised him that she found out—nor should it have felt so good knowing she cared.
When Pansy saw him, relief eased the anxiety in her eyes. "Draco! Don't you dare get on that train," she cried, hurrying over. Beneath the hem of her robe, something pink flashed. Unicorn slippers adorned her feet and flopped against the floor like a drum. The sight brought an amused smile to Draco's face.
So the rumors were true. Funny how she guarded that secret more closely than she did anything else.
All too eagerly stepping away from the train, he raised his eyebrows in question. Curiosity turned into shock as she rocketed into him, her thin arms grabbing his waist with troll-like strength. She squeezed him so hard he had difficulty breathing. Gasping, he tried gently pushing her off, but she held even tighter.
Tears poured down her face. "Draco, don't you dare do that to me again! Blaise just came storming into my dormitory, shouting nonsense about you leaving Hogwarts. While the other girls were screaming and fumbling for their bed curtains, he dragged me down the corridor and practically shoved me through the Great Hall doors. Oh, Draco! Please don't leave! If this is about that Weasley girl, don't worry about her. I'll make sure she gets what's coming to her for hurting you, just don't get on that train. She's not worth leaving Hogwarts, leaving us for!" When Pansy felt his chest rumble with laughter, she looked up in concern.
"Pansy," Draco chuckled, shaking his head fondly. "I'm not leaving Hogwarts, not permanently at least. I have a meeting with the Minister at the Manor. I'll be back tomorrow."
Still refusing to release him, she sagged against his lean frame. Color swept across her cheeks. "Oh. Well, then why didn't you just say that? You know, you could have saved Blaise and me a lot of worrying!" she scolded.
"I didn't know I had to," Draco wryly replied. "Last time I checked, you two were too busy flirting to even notice me."
There were few people in the world who could shock Pansy into silence—Draco just happened to be one of the few. Not even he could not quiet her for long, though.
"Draco Malfoy, you know that isn't true! Blaise and I are very concerned about you, so stop changing the subject," she demanded, jumping when the train whistle sounded.
Draco smiled down at her affectionately. "Go back to bed, Pansy. And tell Blaise he can stop worrying about me and start thinking about what's in front of him instead. While he's been smirking over my 'condition,' his own has been rapidly deteriorating."
Pursing her lips, Pansy debated on whether she should question him about that or not. In the end, she decided to make the most of the few minutes she had left with Draco.
"Quiesce et prefer," she whispered, her arms tightening around his waist one last time. Blinking in confusion, Draco opened his mouth, but she explained before he could ask. "It means 'be calm and carry through.' Mother told it to me on my first day back after...well, you know. It was the closest she ever came to acting like a loving mother to me. I just thought you needed to hear it. Please, Draco...please come back to us."
His features softened. "Thank you," the Slytherin said sincerely, squeezing her against his chest before setting her away. "And I will. I promise you."
Pansy swiped at the tears running down her cheeks as Draco hopped on the train and disappeared from view.
"Goodbye Draco," she whispered.
Meeting at Malfoy Manor next chapter! And thanks to beta reader, marinka, for the translation of "Quiesce et prefer".
