"This thing is heavy man where'd ya' want it?" Daryl struggled with the Brent wheel he collected from Rainbow Cat Potters as per Rick's request. When he volunteered to come over after work to give his buddy a hand with his latest project he wasn't sure what he was getting himself into but if Rick needed him to fight in a war at his side he'd do it. He considered Rick a brother, their long tenure of friendship was a test to that. Daryl stepped into the old tool shed that stood to the back of the Grimes' large backyard. The almost cleared out room smelled of sawdust and paint, he laid the heavy wheel carefully on the ground.

Rick was bent at the knees as he hammered some nails into a shelf he had built, he peeked over his shoulder at Daryl's entrance. "Did you get the extension cord?"

"Yeah." He leaned on the long work table that hadn't been there a few days ago and tried to gauge where his friend's head was at presently. He pulled up the deadline date of his project by a week which was brought on by Michonne's sudden departure from their home he was sure. He decided to approach him on a neutral topic.

"Carl and Dre good?" It got Rick's attention and he finally turned around and faced him.

"As can be. Took them out to the rec center yesterday. Dre kept asking when are they coming home and it's only been three days. Carl is convinced I did something to upset Michonne and told me I better fix things." He laughed and his shoulders shook as he remembered how forceful Carl's soon to be changing voice was when he was questioning his parents sudden distance. Carl wasn't buying they were there to help his aunt Sasha alone, he was always able to pick up on Michonne's mood whether happy or sad.

"If this is what divorce feels like there ain't no way I'm doin this to my kids Daryl." He finally got a glimpse of what Leon Bassett kept grumbling about everyday at the station, his empathy expanded.

"Nobody's gettin' divorced." Daryl said his voice resolute.

Rick nodded in agreement. "No nobody is." It had been a grim cerebration that made him all the more determined to keep his family together by any means necessary.

Keeping things back on track and not allowing melancholy to settle between them he gestured to Daryl to help him maneuver a piece of medium grade plywood covered in heavy canvas.

"So you're really doin' all this for her? And she don't know nothin'?" Daryl asked trailing Rick's head nod to move the small electric kiln to the corner of the medium sized shed.

"Yeah she fell in love with pottery and I wanted to make a space for her here where she could do it whenever she feels like. It'll surely give her something to do until she goes back to work."

"Whendya figure that'd be?"

"I don't know."

"She any good? At this whole pottery thing?" Daryl asked curiously.

"I'm not sure. I can't say I've seen much of her work really." She was in the beginning stages of mastering the technique but he did see the way he eyes lit up everytime she had to attend class and he would do whatever he could to keep the fire there.

"Wait a minute. Ya' mean to tell me you ain't never seen her work and you're buildin' her a damn studio?" Daryl admired Rick's devotion.

"I love 'er, she's my wife." It was his simple yet strong defense which made Daryl feel off for his lack of sensitivity.

"Tell me how can I help?" The last person he wanted to see in pain was Rick, not after everything he had been through with Lori. When Rick met Michonne there was a light in his eyes that had replaced the dullness that had started to take root in him. After he was introduced to Michonne Daryl understood why Rick had been instantly enamored by the pregnant lawyer. She saw Rick and was never afraid to tell him she did and in turn he gave her all the pieces of himself he kept gradually hidden from his friends over the years. If there were any two people that were meant to be it was Rick and Michonne.

After Rick laid out the list of tasks ahead of them they worked efficiently to get them done by removing some of the old storage shelves and replacing it with the ones Rick built.

Next they attempted to paint the walls a burnt orange as it was Michonne's favorite color, luckily the room was small and it didn't take them long. They then rearranged the pottery furniture at least two times before they got it aesthetically right.

At present they were moving the painting strips they had placed around the borders as a neatness measurement. They were working in silence and Daryl knew Rick was in his head and decided to make an attempt at helping him like the many times he had done for him.

"You talked to her about the possibility of not gettin' her memory back and what that could mean for y'all?"

"She said that's why she stepped away for a few days. I think she feels like stepping away will make them magically reappear but it's been five weeks and nothin'. I'm beginning to lose hope myself." There wasn't a doubt in his mind that fate had put them together but he wanted to ask that same fate where had it been hiding while he watched her slip away from him.

True love couldn't be forgotten. Could it?

"Well maybe that's your ace in the hole right there."

"What do you mean?" He asked removing the old wooden door off its hinges while Daryl retrieved the brand new cedar slider door that was the replacement.

"Memories ain't all you got Rick."

"Daryl, memories are what keeps me runnin' these days." It was the truth but maybe Daryl was right too and he needed to be reminded of that. Memories didn't define them. Essentially they were part of them but it wasn't holistically who they were together. What they had was a love that was supposed to define time and space. It was the type of love ordinary people dreamed of and dreamers read about. If they met in the eighteenth hundreds they would've found a way to be together, no matter the road they would always find each other. There wasn't any way to precise an explanation on fate. It's inevitable law was clear. Michonne still loved him but he didn't know how to tap into that without making her regress. They already had a complex combinations of conditions that were helping her in that regard. He knew she had freedom of choice but he was hoping fate could be a conduit to help her choose him again.

"I think you've got a point. I'm just not sure how to approach thangs.'"

Right now she was his delicate flower and if he was going to grow love in her garden again he'd have to make sure he had the appropriate tools for a bountiful harvest.

"I'd start from scratch. Take her out on a date. Let her fall in love all over again."

"You want me to date my wife?" It sounded strange but it was absolute genius.

"The love is still there man! Even if her brain has forgotten her heart probably didn't. Speak to that."

Michonne was unable to identify with their material existence because her brain he'd employed an extensive firewall but one thing he realized given their few moments of bliss amidst the bizarre was she couldn't block him from her heart and that was a great engaging point.

"I think you should've opened with that." Dating her was a great place to start.

"Yeah pull out all the stops. Women love that crap."

"Four months of dating Rosita and you're a love doctor? Only took you five years to get some sense." He teased but the changes he had seen in his brother since Rosita had reformed him somewhat was impeccable. He was no longer the lone ranger who spoke in short sentences or embraced his loner mentality. Rosita dissected Daryl and helped him to be more engaging and it had worked out for everybody when Daryl discovered he didn't have to be like his degenerate brother Merle.

"Just some common sense. She's forgotten...so remind her."

Rick mused on his words bringing to the forefront that if Michonne couldn't find her way right now he'd have to find a way to her. He knew the song that played in her heart; she had forgotten the words but he didn't. He decided to keep faith alive and faith didn't believe in fatalistic thoughts.

"Now I ain't sayin to not help her memory at all, you gotta do whatcha' can."

"I talk to her about our past as much as I can, nothing has helped in jogging her memories forward." Being stuck on recall was what had her so frustrated with the process.

A smug smile settled on Daryl's face and it pulled Rick's curiosity as they hooked the door up on its hinges. The weather was cool and he was grateful that the hot blaring sun didn't stand guard as foreman on their jobsite today.

"What is it?" Rick finally asked.

"You ever see Fifty First Dates? Drew Barrymore? Adam Sandler? Total chick flick?"

"You've seen that?" It was one of Michonne's favorite movies he had seen it at least four times with her and each time was like she'd seen it for the first time. It was ironic now that she was the one suffering from retrograde amnesia. If the cliche didn't hit so close to home he'd be laughing right now. He was quite shocked that Daryl had seen it but Daryl's girlfriend was Rosita and Rosita was a part of the Flosse Posse and well birds of a feather flocked together.

"I said it man, chicks love that kind of crap. Anyways I got an idea but we're gonna need everybody on board for this one."

"I'm in." He would go to any lengths to help her and make her take note that he still saw her even if she couldn't see him right now. "You think we could discuss semantics of this plan while we fix the porch light?" He wanted all his pending tasks completed when his wife came home.


June 2013

The sun was dazzling in the sky, almost to the point of gloating of its grandeur and the only reason why Michonne had stopped staring at it was because its infinite radiance was burning her retinas. At times like this it wasn't hard to believe there was a majestic creator somewhere out there who had creatively crafted the bluest sky to perfection, perfectly paired with a sea so blue she could see the white sand between her toes when she was immersed in the ocean's warmth.

She loved Barbados; the combination of the friendliness of the locals, the turquoise Caribbean Sea that kissed the white sands of the shore in a possessive wave while she savored the taste of the local flying fish wedged between warm bread gave her the complete feel of being in paradise. The delicacy she had devoured was sold from a food truck bearing the name Cuz's Fish Stand was referred to as cutters and she was on her second one while Rick nursed the popular, local Banks Beer.

They watched Carl splash in the water trying to wash off the sand from his body that he had been buried in deep by her and Rick not too long ago. Happiness had finally chartered a course straight to her and while it may not come when you want it, fate is always on time.

It could be too that while she sat between Rick's legs on the beach chair provided by the friendly bajan sole trader who called his beach facility Cool Runnings, paired with the comfortable yet possessive feel of his soft palm on her round bare belly added to the euphoric feel she was experiencing.

Barbados had been their destination but she was clear on the fact that Rick and Carl were her destiny.

"Did I tell you how sexy you are in this bright yellow bikini?" He asked allowing his lips to whisper into her ears only. He gazed at her glowing body partially shielded from the harsh ray's of the sun above them by the deep blue beach umbrella and marvelled at how smooth and radiant her beautiful dark skin looked as she rested against him. He was envious of the bright ball of flame that hung in the sky bold enough to have kissed her enticing skin in his presence.

His hand naturally gravitated to her beach ball size belly to soothe the baby that had been kicking up a storm inside but it also served as a general notice to locals and foreigners alike that Michonne belonged to him and by extension so did her child.

"You did but maybe you can show me how sexy I really am later?" She teased as she perked her lips up for a kiss which he delivered promptly on. He was breathtaking; bare chested in only an orange beach pants and his Ray-Ban sunglasses. She hoped any straying eyes could see that he was hers and somehow they would link Carl back to her too.

Together they had created a family.

"Later?" He laughed because later for Michonne meant knocking out around seven because she was too spent to stay awake and be her usual life of the party. The baby was draining her energy as her due date drew near and sleeping wherever she could had become a hobby of hers as of late.

"Look at this. Isn't this the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" She asked pointing to Carl splashing giddily in the water with his red bucket and shovel as the sun was preparing to lure the moon in its place. Pebbles Beach was on the southwest coast of the island and overlooked the popular Carlisle Bay. It was a regular spot for divers and snorkelers as it held the secret histories of at least six shipwrecks that often drew curious tourists. Catamarans also sailed the waters hoping to spot a turtle or stingray or just to get their picture taking on in one of the most picturesque Bays on the island.

"It is. It really is." He only had eyes for her, although he knew he was probably about to witness the most beautiful sunset he had ever seen he was excited and nervous that the sun was setting on his own life of solitude because he found his best friend and she was the absolute, there would never be another, love of his life.

"You two need a room?" Shane asked as he, Daryl, Glenn and Abe returned from their snorkeling expedition. Rick opted to stay with Michonne who had been complaining of a nagging back pain since they woke up in their hotel room that morning. The girls had gone off to do some highly anticipated water activities like jet skiing and paddle boarding, they were content to watch everyone have some overdue fun.

"It's getting late are we still going to The Gap tonight?" Glenn asked glad to see the girls had started to float into the shore.

Daryl signaled to Rick that the timing for his surprise couldn't have been better. Rick had been reluctant to take Andrea's advice on his island getaway surprise because the uppity blonde was nothing if she wasn't extra but the more everything came together the more sure he was of his decision.

The sun was about to set and everyone had assembled in a cluster after their different interests had pulled them apart for almost half the day, decisions of dinner and nightlife activities still yet to be finalized.

This was the moment Rick had been waiting on.

"Yeah dinner sounds great. Maybe we should head on up and get ready." Rick watched Daryl grab Carl from the shore with much protest. Michonne was easing her full frame from the beach chair with the assistance from Shane. She was none the wiser as everybody was working swiftly behind the scenes in making the evening a memorable one for Rick and Michonne.

"Babe the sun is setting. I think you should steal a pic." Rick knew she loved sunsets and she wouldn't hesitate to capture the moment.

Phone in hand Michonne slowly padded a few steps to the shore to capture the orange glow of the sky, dispersed with hints of a purple hue intermingling with the marshmallow clouds setting the stage for the thousands of stars who had collective decided it was their time to shine. It's beckoning theme song was the rhythmic percussion of waves that sang upon the shore lines. Just as she turned around to signal to Carl to come bear witness to the beauty of the iridescent sky there was Rick ring in hand, down on one knee with Carl next to him holding a sign that said Will You Marry Us? Only the sign was upside down but the huge grin on Carl's face melted her composure on the significance of it all.

No sunset could compare to the beauty of her two boys and the love they had currently on display on this beach in front of their family and friends and even strangers.

Her eyes remained on Rick who's blue eyes matched the colour of the churning sea only his eyes bore waves of love that washed over her soul; resuscitating places that had been once desolate from all the painful things that at one point sought refuge in her life. The solitaire diamond ring that dazzled under the setting sun had caught her eye. Yet nothing held promise like the rhapsody taking hold of Rick's face. Her heart began to dance exotically under his gaze and her hand flew to her bronzed cheeks still in a bit of unbelief but questionless about starting this journey with him.

"Michonne -"

"Yes!" If he was asking her to spend the rest of her life with him her answer was yes without a doubt. She was on the highest roller coaster of joy, he exalted her in amorous rapture and had done so since that Tuesday afternoon four months ago when she met him.

"Yes? I had a whole speech. I've been practicin' you gonna let me?"

His heart was stuck in his throat but he needed to make it clear that his heart would never be in question; she owned it. She gave a tearful nod for him to continue. She had only just noticed Daryl making a video of the moment with his phone and hope she didn't look like the emotional wreck she was. Her sister and Andrea were clutching hands, everyone else looked on like ducks in a row by the beach chairs and she knew they had been in on the shenanigans too. Not even Maggie had let anything slipped.

He reached for her hand, still on bended knee which had to be uncomfortable given the soft shifting sand but he remained in his position of admiration because loving her had been a service to God himself.

"Michonne everyday since we've met has somehow been better for me cause you're in it. And I know we haven't known each other a lifetime like some people but the minute I saw you somehow I knew we were meant to be and I promise to always remind you how much believing in that has changed me. Make me the happiest man on earth, let me be your husband and Andre's father. I promise you won't regret it. Will you marry me?"

"Us dad! Will she marry us?" Carl said clutching his sign under his arm to help clarify the setup for Rick. Michonne couldn't help but laugh at the heart and humor of it all.

"Yeah. Us...marry us. Say yes?"

"I can say yes now?" She teased as though her heart would sacrifice any other response to his show of devotion.

He rose to his feet and held her cheeks in his palms as he used his thumb to dry her soft tears.

He answered her with his eyes, in them she saw a promise that he would always keep his word and loving her was on the top of the list.

"Yes." It was a whisper only his ears heard but it traveled on the evening breeze that circled them and made its way across the seas as a declaration of their commitment to be timelessly echoed with every wave born.

He kissed her, encircling his hand around her protruding waistline and her fingers combed through the waves of curls at the base of his neck. His tongue glided into her mouth in a passionate tryst and he had to remind himself they were on a public beach.

"C'mon buddy. You don't need to see this." Abraham grabbed Carl and tossed him over his shoulder away from his parents who were on the verge of making out on the beach under the invested scrutiny of a small crowd.

Not wanting to but ending the kiss because of their location they allowed their foreheads to touch. Michonne spoke in a soft assuring voice, "You and I..." She couldn't complete her sentence because her baby boy was announcing his claim on the moment too.

His warm hands touched her belly where Andre, a name happily chosen by Michonne was kicking in hopeful celebration. "Are meant to be."

She couldn't have said it better herself.


"And dear God please keep daddy safe when he chases the bad guys and please don't let him miss me and Carl too much and mommy too cause she's his bestest friend in the whole world. And….." Andre turned to his brother who sat beside his kneeling frame on the double decker bed. "Did I forget anything?"

Carl was pensive for a few minutes as he thought about any specific pleas he had to ask the big man above. He remembered grandpa Hershel telling him God answers when we ask things of him. An idea struck him and he whispered in Andre's ears even though there was no one else in the room.

"And God even though we love grandma's cookies we really wanna go home soon. I think that's it so Amen!" Andre prayed with as much fervor he could muster. Carl climbed up on the top bunk of the third bedroom in the country house that he loved to visit so much but he was missing his father, his bed and their gigantic TV.

Michonne walked into the room trying to recover from Andre's prayer she managed to stumble upon outside the door. She didn't mean to eavesdrop on her boys but if they were praying about going home she wondered if she was doing more damage than good keeping their family separated. Nothing she felt that she had done was either right or wrong, the ambiguity of it all was disconcerting to her.

"Hey guys. You ready for bed?" She approached the bunk beds and played with Carl's silky hair as he got comfortable under his blanket.

"Mommy! How was school?" Andre reached up and threw his arms around her. She never grew tired of the feel of her baby's small arms enclosing her in a tight embrace.

"It was so much fun. Let me tuck you back in." She made sure her son was snuggled and warm, she kissed his forehead and then repeated the routine goodnight hug ups with Carl.

Her hand lingered in Carl's hair as she gazed at him, his eyes were a replica of his father's and it was hard not to think of Rick's handsome face whenever she looked at their son. She saw his silent question and she sought to promptly reassure him. It was ironic to her that on her own she was uncertain of which move to make when it came to her relationship with Rick but as the days passed without his presence she was finding the answers to her many questions through her kids.

"We're going home soon okay. I promise. Aren't you guys excited about aunty Sasha and uncle Abe's wedding next week? You get to dress up in a suit and everything." Her stay did give her the benefit of helping Sasha tie in all the arrangements for her big day. Everything was on track and she had streamlined most of the preparations so the bride to be was free to focus on herself and her fiance. Being busy didn't help mitigate the fact that she missed Rick and the easy yet burgeoning friendship they had allowed to blossom between them.

"I have to carry the rings down the aisle. Daddy said it's a big responsible."

"Re-spon-si-bil-i-ty sweetie." She enunciated while dividing her attention between top and bottom bunk.

"Ok c'mon time for bed. I love you both okay." She knew she failed as a wife but failing as a mother was something she wasn't going to do. She sincerely loved Carl and Andre despite her lack of visuals on their childhood. Loving them had been effortless for her so it saddened her everytime she thought about Rick and the way she panicked when it came to her vulnerabilities with him. She scared herself out of being brave.

"Mom?" Carl called out just as she was about to turn off the light.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"You miss Dad right?" She walked back to him and spoke softly as Andre had already drifted off.

"I do." It wasn't a lie. She did miss Rick and she was beginning to second guess her decisions everyday he came to see them. Watching her boys say goodbye was a heartache she rather not bear anymore but it was hard not knowing which way to turn when you're lost in a maze.

"Does he know?" Carl was that kid that liked being on top of things, especially when it came to her.

"He doesn't. I didn't tell him. I only told you." She wondered if she should let him know.

"You're secret's safe with me." Carl sounded like she had told him something sacred.

"It's not really a secret."

"It's still safe with me." Sometimes his intuitiveness amazed her, he was wise beyond his years and in touch with the very feelings she had been trying to avoid.

Being away from Rick allowed her to avoid his presence but there was no way she could avoid the impact he had on her life in the short amount of time she had with him.

"Goodnight Carl." She moved to switch off the light, watching them in the the dark for a few seconds like any Mother would until Carl's breathing became even, she then headed down the stairs.

.

It wasn't very late but between the rush for her therapy session and then her pottery class she had worked up an appetite. She enjoyed her pottery class more than therapy; it was the one time she didn't feel like a stranger, even to herself.

Deanna was waiting in the kitchen with two steaming mugs of hot cocoa sitting on the round oak breakfast table waiting for Michonne to join her.

"Hey. I thought you would've been in bed by now." She said opening the refrigerator and surveying it's contents for something to munch on. Her appetite wavered as the days blended into each other but she had to keep her strength up for Carl and Andre. She settled for crackers and grape jelly. After gathering a butter knife and saucer she joined her step mother at the table.

"How was your therapy and pottery class?"

Going from therapy to pottery was a mental challenge she was trying to master. One dimension required her to not focus on anything in particular; a freeing of her mind of sorts and the other required full commitment and concentration; a nucleus to get the desired effect.

"It was good." She said eating another cracker full of the delicious fruit jam.

"Did you speak to your husband today?" Deanna wasn't one to procrastinate when she had a point to make and given she was lying in wait like a soldier about to execute an ambush Michonne knew her hearing had come. Deanna was a retired judge; her arbitration was inevitable and probably necessary.

"I did. Didn't you see him when he brought the boys home from school?" She spoke to Rick a few times during the day and he came over in the evenings to check up on them. For her, seeing him in short stints was ruining her resolution at remaining neutral while she sorted through her feelings

"I did. He looks like shit."

"Mom!" She noticed that tiredness in his eyes but that could be attributed to the heavy workload he was facing down at the station.

"You don't look to good yourself. You look exhausted.". She was exhausted and she was certain with the stress of it all she had missed a period but she wasn't even sure when was her last one because she couldn't remember. She wondered if Rick would know something so intimate about her? She wouldn't put it passed him. She was going to ask him, hopefully he could tell her where she kept track of it at least. There was nothing on her phone to indicate she did which was unlike her. She normally kept tabs of things like these.

"It's been three days Michonne. When are you going back home?"

"You're kicking me out?. I know you don't think me coming here with the boys was a good idea."

"You know you're always welcomed here but you're running scared." Deanna wanted her step daughter to defy the odds of her marriage being more strained by her and Rick's sudden impasse. A little communication between the two of them would go a long way.

"You think I'm messing up my boys by keeping them away from their father? You think I'm a bad parent?" She was subtly stoning her own self entertaining the disadvantages of her decision.

"I don't think you're a bad mother Michonne but I do think you're looking for excuses not to face Rick."

She had an inkling the thing Michonne was trying to avoid would find her even in hiding. Sometimes you meet your fate on the very road you took to avoid it.

"He's the only thing since the accident you haven't really faced. You faced Carl and Andre. You faced Andrea. You even faced Jim Hilton, the man responsible for it all but you're yet to face Rick."

"I tried! And I failed! I'm always failing with Rick." It was the disappointment in his eyes that was the most heartbreaking. She wanted so badly to be the same woman he fell in love with but she wasn't, she couldn't be and she couldn't afford her darkness to overshadow his beautiful light, not anymore.

Sasha had the brilliant idea that she should take the plunge and sleep with him because it might help jog her memory. She had laughed earlier on at her sister's ludicrous suggestion but she felt she might fail him at that too.

"Why do you think you failed? I don't think that's how Rick looks at you."

"It's in his eyes mom. I could derive an entire hypothesis from the way he looks at me. It doesn't help that I can't love him the way I should."

"I think you need to stop looking for ways you think you should love him and look for ways you can."

"What do you mean? I tried but…" There was no denying how sweet Rick was. He was a selflesss protector who always ensured his family was well taken cared of before anything and anyone else.

"I think it's your heart you don't trust. It overrides your brain every time you make a calculation or an educated guess and it confuses you but maybe your heart remembers the things your brain forgot. You couldn't remember getting into a car accident but you went back behind the wheel, no hesitation. You didn't give it a second thought. That's what you need to do with Rick. Don't think about it. Don't hesitate. Allow your heart to lead and trust in it."

Her seemingly insurmountable challenge was to silence her mind but she didn't know where the mute button was located.

"You fell in love with him once you can do it again. You said he swept you off your feet." Deanna was doing what nobody else had been able to do besides Hershel the night of Rick's allergy attack. She was getting into her head trying to remove doubt and fear from her repertoire.

She had no doubt in her mind that Rick did sweep her off her feet the first time. She fell in love with him when she was four months pregnant with another man's child. The fact that Andre wasn't his biological child didn't matter to him; she could imagine her former self loving him intensely because of his big heart. What she attempted to offer him now paled in comparison to what they shared before her accident.

"That's why I took the break to see if the distance would help." The distance only reiterated how much she needed him and how much she missed his friendship.

"Has it? You miss him, the boys miss him. He misses his family so is it really helping?"

"I don't know how to do this mom." She paused from her cracker and jam fest and rested her head in her palms in solemn defeat, her elbows on the table.

Deanna stroked her hair back, it was hurting her to see her girl in pain but she needed to hear the harsh truth otherwise she would never push past this stage in her grieving process. "Don't treat him as confused as you are. Treat him as a good as he is. Fate will take care of the rest."

"You know everybody keeps talking about fate and destiny and meant to be and if that's what we were then I can't possibly measure up. How do I know for myself it's fate?"

"Fate has many forms, sometimes it's a door without a lock you can just walk into it. Sometimes you have to pick the lock on your own. Other times you have to kick down the door yourself. And there are times when you need to be the door. The mystery is finding out which one you are. But just know wherever you end up is where you're intended to be."

"I know he doesn't see it but I want to try. I want it to work. Rick is a good man. He's a great dad and an incredible husband." Sometimes there would be something she saw on TV or something one of the boys said or did and she'd look for him to tell him but he wasn't around. It was the fruitfulness of knowing him and accepting how much he had become part of her life and in retrospect it had only been a few weeks.

"Why? Why do you want to try? What do you want from it?" Deanna was picking at the bandage she had neatly wrapped around her inner turmoil, she felt stripped but sometimes bandages suffered a wound longer than necessary.

"I want our marriage to work." She knew for that to happen she had to put in some work too.

"Well good. When the why is clear the how is easy."

"Dad used to say that." Her eyes lit up at Deanna's words, her father was a treasure trove of words of wisdom. It made her feel as though he was in the room with them, rubbing her back and telling her she could do this.

"He did and he believed every word. Michonne what's meant to be always finds a way. But you have to surrender yourself to it. Don't have regrets over this. It's better to have tried and failed than to wonder what if." She believed fate was a tide you shouldn't swim against.

"No more breaks?" It was a fortified resolve to not be so detached but it was imperative to everything that meant anything to her that she put aside the vestige of her afflictions.

"No more breaks." Deanna was grateful for the breakthrough, she knew the love she would rediscover with Rick would be life changing for her.

"Thank you." She hugged her and began to replace the food items in their respective places after stealing one last jam filled cracker. "I wonder how they got this jam to taste so yummy. It's absolutely delicious."

"We got it from the Farmers market."

"I didn't know grapes could taste so sweet." It would probably be her new favorite snack.

"Didn't your father tell you that when we used to try to make jam ourselves?"

"Tell me what mom?"

"That sometimes the spoiled fruit made the sweetest jam."

Michonne smiled at the woman who had raised her, the message was received.


She was watching the minutes roll by like a direct taunt to her subconscious where thoughts of Rick permeated with a new, clear, fresh scope. She missed him and because she was on brain shut down mode taking her mother's timely advice there was nothing to rationalize about the feeling. For the first time in a long time she was going to allow herself to work through the emotion without being dogmatic about what it really implied.

She couldn't tamper the longing nor was she trying to. They spoke every day on the phone, he came by every day to spend time with the boys but what she was experiencing was a genuine desire to be in his company. It was difficult for her to not be able to remember being Rick's wife but in spite of that setback they managed to develop a friendship that felt pure and genuine.

She missed their conversations and the way she felt like she could talk to him about anything. She missed movie nights, she missed seeing him bond with their boys. She missed cuddling up to him at night, which was probably why it took her so long to fall asleep these days. There was something significant about the safety of Rick's arms when the world grew dark and quiet and he held her with promise that nothing could take her from him. It was a routine she quickly grew accustomed too and she felt the deficiency now that she was alone.

She was on hyperdrive thinking about all she had to say to him when he came to see the boys. She was feeling as excited as Andre and Carl were at the anticipation of his arrival.

For now she was content to wait it out with her sons as the three of them dominated her parents' living room as they watched Finding Nemo; Andre's favorite movie of all times.

Ever since her chat last night with Deanna she was having a silent debate on fate and the way it worked and she was wondering if the virtue had a sense of humor too. If it wasn't for the direct absurdity of the amnesia suffering blue tang who's name should've been Michonne but was instead Dory she would be laughing her head off. She was grateful her struggle wasn't in forming new memories because the two bundles under her arms had filled her heart with so much joy and wonder since she opened her eyes from the accident she couldn't fathom not being able to retain anything new and significant when it came to them.

She should take notes from the aloof blue fish who never allowed her condition to keep her back from functioning in her life or loving those close to her. Just when Marlin was about to give up his quest to find his son Nemo because of the intimidating sea elements that stood between his main goal, Dori uttered the words, 'I remember things better with you.' which catapults the anxious clown fish's courage to continue on his chase which ends with him defying all odds and giving the invested audience an emotional reunion with his brave son Nemo.

The poignancy of the impact of the friendship between the two fishes made her think about her and Rick and while she didn't remember anything from their past when she was with him she did feel better when they were together. Her therapist also spoke about the critical role of family and loved ones in contributing to the overall well being of amnesiac sufferers. She thought Rick deserved better than someone with half a brain but she missed a few episodes of him trying to show her he still loved her and still viewed her as a whole person. It was something she couldn't afford to take for granted.

By the time the credits rolled on she was a full blown teary mess and she couldn't hide it from the two rambunctious boys who sought comfort in any way they found it on the couch. Carl was under her arm but Andre had moved to her lap.

"Mom? Why are you crying?" Carl asked first, he was never one to see his mother cry and have it not affect him.

"The movie just made me sad is all."

"We watch this movie all the time. Dre knows all the words."

"I think it reminded me of Daddy." She was going to stay honest with her sons.

"The shark? Bruce? " Andre proffered with a laugh.

"Your dad behaves like a shark sometimes huh?" She knew his patience wavered where his job was concerned but she knew he could get agitated about things especially when he had his mind made up about something.

"Uh huh...when he chases the bad guys and you tell him he needs to control his temper."

She centred him and knowing that enlightened her in such a hopeful way. "Not the shark. The daddy fish. Hey guess what? We're going home tomorrow! " For once she made a decision and it felt right. She had a dress fitting with the girls around midday and she had an early appointment with Sasha so she needed Deanna to help with the boys but as soon as it was over she was packing them up and heading home where they all belonged.

"Yesss!" Carl shouted as Dre fist pumped into the air unable to contain his excitement. Andre added a "Praise Jesus!" that sounded like Sasha through and through.

"When is daddy getting here? It's ten o'clock already." Andre said looking at the antique clock on the wall, his head bent sideways.

"It's twenty minutes past five Dre, your dad will be here any minute." Telling time was an ongoing trouble spot for her almost six year old.

At the drop of her sentence Rick's voiced echoed from the foyer calling out to both Andre and Carl.

"He's here!" Carl was the first to jump off the couch and race to meet Rick with Andre on his heels. She too got up and smoothened her locks and the gray blouse and leggings she wore trying to look as presentable as possible for her apology and her hopeful plea for clemency.

The first thing she noticed was the gorgeous bouquet of red roses in his hand but he was giving out hugs like it was Christmas day and she bold facedly stepped forward for one even though she could be classified on the naughty list.

"Hi." He said as he absorbed her into his willing embrace, her hands clung to his shoulder and she inhaled his after shave. He had gone home first and took a shower and a shave too; his four day stubble was gone, replaced by a smooth face that highlighted his straight nose and inviting lips. He looked younger and sexy and an image of him over her as he drove himself inside her over and over again as she clutched his hair and shoulders shook her whole being.

A hand flew to her forehead, she didn't know if it was a memory on recall or a wonton desire playing its way to the forefront of her mind.

"These are for you. Michonne? You ok? I don't like the way you're lookin' maybe you should sit down." He took her hand and the flowers and ushered her to Deanna's kitchen. The boys tailing behind them. He eased her into a chair and found a white vase for the flowers and poured a glass of chilled water for her from the Brita.

Andre and Carl were trying to climb all over Rick while she took a minute for composure. She didn't know if her ill feeling was because of the visual, anxiety or tiredness finally taking possession of her body but nothing was going to deter her from facing her fears today.

"I'm fine." She waved Rick's concern away.

"You don't look fine. Did the tests come back from the doctor yet?" Dr King didn't like the fact she was still getting headaches especially when her injury had healed considerably in the five weeks since the accident. He ran several tests including a blood test but the results were still pending.

"I called the office today and there was a slight delay. Something about a short staffing they hope to rectify before the week is out. I'm fine. I promise."

"You taking care of your mama for me Carl?" He asked his older son.

"Yeah Dad but mom doesn't have much of an appetite these days. Grandma made lasagne and she said she didn't want any." Carl was still bemused by the prepostery of her refusal. Grandma Deanna made the best lasagne in town.

He looked at her and she felt like he was looking straight through her and she knew with certainty he always had the ability to do that.

"Rick I-"

"Michonne I -"

They both spoke in chorus and then shared a ridiculous laugh upon realization.

"Mommy said we're coming home tomorrow daddy!" Andre was bursting at the seams to share the news.

Rick's eyebrows raised in alertness. "Did she now?"

"Yeah and she said you're the clownfish." His eyebrows wrinkled in confusion while Dre bent over laughing at his joke. Carl slapped a hand to his forehead at his brother's foolishness.

"Dre I didn't mean it like that! You two give me and your dad a minute. Go wash up for dinner." After hugging Rick one more time her two speed racers left leaving her and Rick alone with each other.

"Michonne -"

She cut him off with a soft hand to his tanned arm, she let it linger when she felt the strength of his forearm. She wanted to be connected to him. "Please let me say this while I have the courage. I was wrong to leave although being here has lead me to see so many things Rick so I guess I was right even when I was wrong because I can't say I would've come to these conclusions had I stayed at home. I'm so sorry for leaving but I was at my wit's end and didn't know what to do anymore. You're doing everything right and here I am making a mess of things and blaming you when I shouldn't. Truth is I didn't think and I still don't think that you deserve this part of me that can't remember our life together. But I see that I'm better at things with you than when I'm away from you. Maybe I had to go my way to see that but finding my way has highlighted that I don't want to do this alone Rick."

The tears had pooled into her expressive brown eyes and a teardrop had slipped past her eyelids and descended down her dull cheek.

All he wanted to do was hold her; to somehow absolve her off all the agony she was going through but she had to maneuver through her process and he understood that about his wife.

She took a necessary breath before she continued, "Something horrible happened. Something I shouldn't have lived through but I did. I'm alive and that has to mean something right? It does, it means I'm gonna fight through this haze, for Carl, for Dre for us….so if you'll have me back I wanna come home."

"There's no if Michonne. That's your home. Of course I want you to come home. I'm sorry too I think I've been handling things wrong too. I think we were both just trying to protect each other the best way we know how. We haven't discussed what will happen if your memory doesn't come back. Do you think that's something you can live with?"

"Do you?"

"It'll be hard. We have some beautiful memories together but that isn't all we have. We fell in love once and I believe we can fall in love again. The question is would you want to."

"This is the hard part isn't it? I remember my dad telling me once that happiness can be found in the darkest of times if you just remember to turn on the light. I really miss him during times like these."

"I know how much you loved your dad. Listen this isn't the best of circumstances but there isn't anything that you and I can't handle together. I guess we both need to be patient. I know Carl and Andre are a handful and I guess I am too." His commiseration made her laugh and it was a delight for him to see her smiling, she hadn't since she'd left home.

"So if you're ever in need of another break…"

"I'm done taking breaks." She affirmed her commitment for him and for herself too.

"I was thanking' maybe we should start fresh...just hear me out. Maybe it can be a chance to discover or rediscover each other without the pressure of the past. I'm willing to do it if you are."

She was all for it. "I wanna make new memories with you."

"Good. This is….good. so I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me Friday night?"

"Dinner...like a date?"

"Yeah like a date." Rick was an amazing man, even at her worst he still saw her hidden value

"I would love to."

"Great. I um..I got you something'" he fished in his jeans pocket and pulled out a gold box with a crumpled green bow on the top. He handed it to her and remembered his disclaimer but she spoke first.

"A key? What's this for?" He grabbed her curiosity. It couldn't be a house key because she already had her set. It looked like the key for a room of sorts.

"You'll only know when you get home. This was supposed to be bait to get you home sooner but I'm glad to know we're on the same page." He had other big plans in the making but she'd find out soon enough.

She was intrigued by his flowers and gifts and if this was what making new memories meant she was looking forward to it.

"Wedding rehearsal is this weekend." Rick was Abe's best man and she was Sasha's matron of honor and together they'd be standing at the altar as they stood witness of a unique union. It made her wonder what their own wedding had been like.

"Can I hold you?" He remembered their first night at home when it was all he wanted to do but at the time she wasn't ready but her capitulated surrender was encouraging to him. She stood up and sat on his lap with a confidence that made her glow.

"How about we do better than a hug?" She didn't give him time to respond. She bent her head and kissed him, it was different from their other kisses maybe because she was the one taking lead on it. Her lips were soft and tasted sweet, like she'd been eating one of the boys' candies and it made their kiss so much sweeter. Rick swept his hands over her back, exhilarated by the cushy feel of her beautiful body in his arms once more. His tongue played with hers intimately, he was content to know their newly formed intimacy didn't suffer any damage from their time apart. She ended the kiss with a peck to his upper and bottom lips and he was lost in a sea of transparent longing for her. He willed his arousal away, there would be time to explore their ignited attraction soon enough. He would make patience his best friend because Michonne was more than worth it.

"I want you to know something. And I believe this with everything inside me Michonne. Your amnesia is a rock in the road for us but we'll conquer it because you and I were never not going to happen. It would be a privilege for me to say I loved you twice."

It was everything she needed to hear and more. Rick was giving her one more day with a chance and she wasn't going to squander it.

She kissed him again on his pink lips.

"Now about you not eating?" Nothing ever got passed him.

"I'll eat if you promise you'll stay for dinner."

"Done. Now what's this I hear about me being a clown fish?"

Her laughter filled the kitchen and made his heart smile.