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Chapter 2
Andy's first day back at work she didn't see Sam's name on the patrol board, and with the way he was dressed and talking to Traci, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he'd become a detective. She wondered when it had happened and how long he'd been planning to make the move. Not knowing it was happening made her feel like they had dropped out of each other's lives when he broke up with her.
She tried not to dwell on it as she listened to Frank during Parade, but she was conflicted. She was happy for him and knew he'd be a great detective. However, it meant they wouldn't be working together as much. And even though she didn't know where they stood right now, Sam had always been the best partner she ever had.
When Parade was over, she waited as others left and timed her walk to the door with when Sam started to head out.
"Detective...I didn't know," she said.
"I wasn't...It's new. Frank asked me a couple days ago, I, uh, haven't seen you to tell you," he replied. He resisted the urge to blame her for why they hadn't seen each other; resisted the urge to demand she tell him why she hadn't shown up at The Penny for drinks. His love for her stopped the fear from pushing all those thoughts out.
"Well, congratulations," she said.
"Thanks."
"You'll have a great partner. Traci's really...great," she said, jealous that he'd no longer be her partner. She wanted to ask him if they could talk for a minute, wanted to explain why she hadn't shown up the other night, but the more she over thought it, the more she remained silent.
Sam opened and closed his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. He opened it again, trying to tell her no one would match his last partner, but again he couldn't get the words out.
"McNally!" Oliver called out, walking up to his two friends. "Let's go. It's your turn to buy lunch today."
She threw a small smile Sam's way as she walked past him to follow Oliver.
"See ya later, McNally," Sam muttered, not even sure anyone heard him.
It was only a few hours later that Andy and Oliver were back at the station after bringing in a suspect in a bank robbery that Andy had walked in on. Traci was investigating the man, while Sam, Andy and Oliver looked on from the observation room.
"It wasn't him," Andy said suddenly.
"I beg your pardon," Sam said, eyes wide as he turned his head to face her.
"I don't think he's the one that pulled the trigger. The guy with the mask was different," she explained.
"What do you mean, what's different?" Sam asked.
"I don't know, maybe it was his voice. It's just, the other guy seemed extremely confident," she said. Andy could tell Sam wasn't convinced by the look on his face. "Look, I was there, you weren't. I saw how the guy acted. This guy..." she said, pointing into the interrogation room. "...isn't our guy."
"McNally, he had the money and the gun, is covered with the exploded dye pack. Until you find something that tops this mountain of evidence, he's our guy," Sam replied.
"Fine." For the first time in a long time, she felt like Sam didn't have her back. So, she turned to Oliver. "I'd like to check out the area where we found him again, partner."
Oliver's eyes bounced between the ex-lovers, not wanting to get into the middle of whatever was going on here. But he decided they both could use some space, so he waved his hand toward the door. "Let's go, McNally. But don't think this gets you out of buying me lunch."
She snorted as she walked around Sam without another glance. "We'll pick it up on the way."
Sam huffed out a breath as he crossed his arms. She could be so frustrating sometimes. The evidence was clear cut. It was just a matter of getting this guy to break before he lawyered up.
It didn't take long for Andy to find the clue they needed. Poking her head out of the dumpster she'd jumped into after finding a handprint that matched the color of the orange dye-pack, Andy grinned at Oliver as she showed him the phone she'd found. A phone with orange fingerprints on it.
They put the pieces together quickly and were soon bringing in the guy who shot the bank manager. He hadn't confessed yet, but as Andy watched Sam and Traci interrogate him, she knew he was guilty and the first guy was only in charge of the getaway car. More importantly, the look on Sam's face told her he thought the same thing.
Not needing to see anymore, Andy walked out of the observation room and went to her desk to finish up some paperwork.
Hours later, Sam walked out of the interrogation room and right into Andy who was heading to the locker room. "You were right," he said after they stopped awkwardly apologizing for bumping into each other.
"I was trusting my gut, like I was taught," she said, still irritated he hadn't believed her.
"Sorry for not listening to you. But we had all this evidence stacked up and - "
"It's okay," she said, shaking her head as she interrupted him. "I get it. You can't trust my judgment after..." She didn't need to finish the sentence for them both to know she was talking about the day Jerry died.
"That's not it. It was about me that day. I didn't trust my gut. Today, it was just hard to go against all the evidence," he explained, hating that she thought he blamed her.
"Well, I should go. See you tomorrow, Sam," she said before starting to walk away.
"Andy," he called out after her. He took a step toward as she stopped and turned around.
"Uh...have a good night." He was a coward. All these things he wanted to tell her were on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't make the words come out. Most of all he wanted to tell her he missed his partner, in more ways than one. Instead, he watched her walk away as he stood there like an idiot.
When he finally forced himself to move, he turned around and saw Oliver standing a few feet away in the doorway of the break room watching him. The look on his face told Sam he wasn't going to want to hear what his friend had to say. He tried to walk by him, but Oliver only stepped up beside him on the way to the detectives' office.
"What's going on with you and McNally?" Oliver asked.
"What? Nothing."
"That little encounter..." Oliver said, waving his hand behind them. "...was not nothing. And earlier, pretty sure she would've loved to throw you in the dumpster where we found the phone. What gives?"
"Don't start, Oliver. I'm not in the mood."
"You've been moping for six months, ever since you broke up with her." Oliver ignored Sam's glare and kept talking. "Apologize, talk to her. Give it another go. You both still have feelings for each other."
Sam shook his head as they stopped outside his office. "She made her decision. I pleaded with her for another chance. She gave me her answer by not showing up that night," he said. He couldn't help but be pissed that she'd chosen not to meet him for drinks. As much as he loved her and wanted her in his life, her happiness meant more to him. And if that didn't include him, he was going to have to live with it.
"Don't be an idiot," Oliver said, shaking his head. "You know what she went through that day. You really think she was up for that talk that night? You want a second chance, so give her one." With that, Oliver, turned around to head to the locker room, leaving his friend standing there.
Oliver's words hit Sam like a ton of bricks. He was right. Sam only focused on what he was feeling that night. The feeling of missing her so much and wanting her back in his life were so strong that he'd forgotten what triggered his feelings in the first place – Andy holding a bomb. He'd been so focused on his feelings, what he wanted, what he needed, that he forgot to consider what she'd been going through that night. She'd almost died. And he was pressuring her about them.
He shook his head at himself as he sat down to finish the paperwork on the arrest and confession. The arrest he wouldn't have if it weren't for Andy. He needed to figure out how to make this all up to her, everything.
It was nearly an hour before Sam made it to The Penny. Not seeing Oliver, he sat down on an empty stool at the bar and watched Andy having fun with her friends across the room. They appeared to be cheering on an Andy-Chris darts rematch. He ordered a drink and couldn't help but think about how he'd been here nights earlier waiting for her. As much as he knew what Oliver had said was true, it was hard to get past the fact she didn't even give him an explanation as to why she didn't show up.
After beating Chris at their game, Andy decided to get another drink. She saw that one of the few free spots at the bar was next to Sam. She took a deep breath and walked over. She knew she hurt him by not showing up the night he invited her for drinks. What made it worse was she'd fallen asleep before she could tell him she wouldn't be there, and now she didn't know how to move forward without making it awkward.
He was staring into the amber liquid swishing around his glass when he felt her standing next to him. He looked up to see her waving down Liam and ordering a beer.
When Liam returned with her beer, Sam spoke. "Put it on my tab." As the words came out, it felt like a peace offering.
Andy looked over at him while his eyes were glued to his drink. "Sam, you don't..."
"I told you I'd buy you a drink, so I am." The memory of his words – drinks, dinner, taking out her trash, getting a dog – still clear in both their minds.
"I thought that offer may have expired," she replied meekly.
Sam took a swig of his scotch, letting it burn his throat as he thought about how to respond. "Did you want it too?" he asked when he finally looked over at her.
Andy shook her head. "No. I just...I needed time to think." She was still scared despite the epiphany she had with the therapist. There was so much she wanted to say to Sam right now, but hear fear was stopping her.
"Ok then, I told you I'd buy you a drink. And, I'm not breaking another promise...ever."
"You don't know that. You can't know you'll never do it again," she said softly.
"I'm going to do my damnedest not to. I don't want to ever hurt you again, and breaking a promise will do that. So, if you give me another chance, I'll do everything in my power not to," he said, knowing it was now or never for him to be honest and tell Andy what he was thinking.
"Sam..." She sighed as she sat on the empty stool she'd been standing next to.
"I meant what I said the other night. I'll do everything."
"You can't do everything. I can't do everything. That's not how a relationship works," she said.
They sat there silently, each sipping on their respective drinks as they tried to figure out what the next step was.
Andy knew Sam was trying, that he was actually telling her what was going on inside his head. And while, here, in the middle of The Penny wasn't where she pictured this happening, she knew she had to be honest with him. "Sam...You broke my heart."
"I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought..." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know what I thought. I couldn't wrap my head around what I was feeling."
"All I wanted was to be there for you. But you pushed me away," she said.
"I did what I thought was right. I was confused. I was hurting." He turned his body until his knee hit her leg and her eyes met his. "I didn't know how to deal with it."
She rested a hand on his knee. "I know. In her own way, Traci was going through the same thing. And all I wanted was to make it better...for both of you. But, I couldn't do that for you."
"I want us to have another shot, to fix my mistakes – "
"Our mistakes," she interrupted, correcting him.
His lips curved up as he nodded. "Our mistakes."
"It's gotta be different this time. We gotta work on this together, work through things together," she said. "And I don't want to feel like we're hiding, that we're only a couple behind closed doors."
"I was never hiding us, Andy. I thought you wanted to keep things private after the suspensions," he said.
"I wanted to be careful at work, but even here...it was different than I thought we'd be," she said quietly, afraid to sound needy.
"I need you to help me, to know this stuff doesn't come easy for me. The psychic wasn't wrong. It's new to me to love someone...and I need a push sometimes in the right direction," he admitted.
"I can do that," she said, her lips curving into a small smile. "And I need you to tell me when you need space. I can't read your mind, but if you need time alone I want to give you that. I don't do time and space well, so you gotta help me know when you need it."
He nodded in agreement before taking another sip of his drink. "I need you to let me in." He held his hand up when she opened her mouth to protest. "I know you opened up more than I did, but still, you shut down about certain things...like your mom. I want to be there for you, for everything, so let me in, okay?"
She nodded. "I'm sorry about that. Closing you out when Claire came back. I...I pushed you away because I didn't want anyone to tell me what I already knew...that she'll eventually hurt me again."
"I only did what - "
"No," she interrupted him. "You don't need to explain. I know why you reacted the way you did. You were trying to protect me. I'm sorry I wouldn't listen."
"I shouldn't have gone about it the way I did though. I didn't make it easy to listen," he told her.
Silence engulfed the bubble they'd put themselves in the moment they began talking. The music and laughter filling the bar didn't reach their ears. Andy finally found the courage to ask what they were both thinking. "So, what do we do now?"
At the sound of her voice, he raised his eyes to meet hers. He licked his lips and knew the next move was his. "I want to take you out to dinner."
She let out a small chuckle as she looked at her watch and back at Sam. "A little late for that."
"Not tonight, McNally," he said, smirking. "How about tomorrow? Or the night after that? Or this weekend?" He knew he was sounding a little desperate rattling off all these days, but he didn't want to give her an option of saying no. After the conversation they'd had, he was pretty sure she wouldn't, but he didn't want the option even on the table.
She smiled at him, at how nervous he suddenly looked. "How about all of the above?" She gave him a knowing look, telling him she meant it. She didn't want just one night with him, she wanted them all.
Sam bit down on the inside of his cheek to tamp down his grin. "Tomorrow night it is."
Glancing around the bar, he noticed her friends had already called it a night. "Can I give you a ride home?"
Her eyes lit up at the question and she nodded. It had been such a long time since they'd done something so easy, so casual. She grabbed her jacket and met Sam at the door, and she felt the familiar touch of his hand on her lower back as they headed out to his truck.
He insisted on walking her up to her condo, images of Andy and Gail getting attacked the last time he simply dropped her off were running through his head. She didn't protest, seeing the look on his face and immediately knowing what he was thinking.
She stepped over the threshold into her condo and turned around to look at him. "Wanna come in?"
He shook his head. "I should get home. But, tomorrow night?"
She smiled and nodded. "I'll be ready after shift."
Their eyes lingered on each other until Sam took a step to close the distance between them. He leaned down, watching Andy's eyes close as his face neared hers. He enjoyed the familiar taste of her cherry lip gloss when their lips met. It was like coming home. The feel of her lips against his made his whole body relax. He framed her face with his hands as he deepened the kiss.
The moment his lips touched hers, warmth filled her body from head to toe. She had missed this so much. She felt safe, loved, liked no one else in the world mattered when he kissed her slow and steady like this. She slid her arms around his waist, holding him against her.
It was a door slamming somewhere in the building several minutes later that broke them out of the moment they'd gotten lost in. Sam nudged his nose against hers as she smiled back at him. He wanted nothing more than to never leave her side, but he didn't want to rush into bed like they'd done the first time. They were going to do things differently this time. "I gotta go," he whispered.
"You gotta go," she replied, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. She pressed her lips to his before he said anything else. She knew he had to go home, but she wanted to savor this moment, their second first kiss. Andy only pulled back when the need for air became too great.
They stared into each other's eyes for another minute before both dropped their arms to their sides.
"I'll see you tomorrow, McNally," Sam said, backing out into the hallway.
"Goodnight, Sam." Andy slowly closed the door, watching him watch her. He didn't leave until he heard the lock click.
