WARNING: EATING DISORDER SHOWN IN THIS CHAPTER! IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS, PLEASE DO NOT READ!
Phil's POV
Why was Dan being so nice to me? Does he actually want to be my friend? No... he probably just feels bad for me because I got beat up. Could he like me? No of course not. That's stupid. He's not gay like me. Well what if-
"Phil?"
I glanced up at my English teacher.
"Um... what was the question?" I asked sheepishly. I felt my face turning bright red.
"Phil... please pay attention," the teacher glared at me.
"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry," I said looking down. I glanced over at Dan. He had a small smile on his lips. I took everything in. His gorgeous deep brown eyes, his brown curly hair, his strong arms, his perfect jawline, everything. I felt my face burn an even darker shade of red. This was gonna be a long year.
...
Later at lunch, I was sitting next to Dan at the popular table.
"This is PJ, Charlie, Cat, Evan, Lily, Kate, Justin, Brian, Kayla, Chris, and Mara," Dan said smiling at me.
"Hi. Nice to meet you all," I said. I felt my social anxiety starting to take over. No. I can't ruin this.
Everyone except for PJ, Chris, and Cat looked at me like I was some exotic animal they've never seen before. I slowly sat down. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the group all give Dan questioning looks. Great, just great. I already screwed this up. I screw everything up.
Throughout the awkward lunch, I found that I like PJ, Chris, and Cat. Dan and them were the only ones to include me in conversations and I think they could tell I was grateful for that. At the end of lunch Dan pulled Chris, PJ, and I to the side.
"Hey, do you guys want to come over to my house later? My parents are out of town. We can play some video games and get pizza if you want," Dan said.
"Yeah sounds good," Chris said.
"Yeah sure," PJ replied cooly.
Should I do this? What if I embarrass myself? And I mean, I just met the guys. Maybe I can just blame it on my mom or something. I glanced up to see the three of them staring at me expectantly.
"Umm... yeah I guess so." Wait, what?! Why did I say that?!
"Awesome!" Dan replied. He had a big grin on his face. I couldn't help but feel a warm glow, knowing I was able to make him smile like that. Maybe this won't be so bad.
...
As the final bell rang, I walked outside to see Dan, Chris, and PJ already waiting for me by a car.
"You ready?" PJ asked.
"Yep," I gave a small smile.
We all piled into the car, with Dan in the driver's seat. It started out awkward, but by the time we got to Dan's house, we were all talking and laughing. I was beyond happy knowing I'd made some friends, even if I had some help from Dan. We spent the afternoon playing video games and just hanging out. It was all going really well. That is, until the pizza arrived. Chris came into the living room holding a steaming box. He set it down on the coffee table and immediately they all piled two slices onto their plates. I just sat there. What do I do? If they found out what I was doing to myself, they'd hate me. They'd think I was crazy and I'd lose the only friends I'd ever had. There was only one thing to do. I grabbed the last two slices and choked them down.
A couple minutes later I said,"Hey Dan? Where's the bathroom?"
He directed me down the hall. I stepped onto the cold tiles. I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. I locked the door behind me and kneeled down in front of the toilet. I felt the tears starting to stream down my face. Before I lost my courage, I shoved two fingers down my throat while putting pressure on my stomach. Everything I'd eaten came rushing out of me.
When I was sure everything was out, I cleaned myself up and flushed the toilet. I walked out of the bathroom and went back to the living room.
Dan looked up at me. "Are you ok Phil? You look a bit paler than usual."
"Yeah I'm fine,"I replied. I tried to put on my most convincing smile. I don't think Dan bought it but he turned back to the game. I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to the game.
A while later I glanced at the clock. "Oh my gosh guys it's 11! I have to get home!"
"Why don't you guys just sleepover? We have some extra pillows and blankets. And you guys could just borrow some of my clothes if you want," Dan replied. We all agreed and around 4 in the morning, Chris fell asleep. We decided we might as well go to sleep too. PJ and I took the floor while Dan took the couch. He wanted one of us to take it, but we both insisted he did.
At around 6 in the morning, I still couldn't fall asleep. I glanced up and saw Dan looking up at the ceiling. After I was staring for a couple seconds, Dad looked down at me.
"Can't sleep?" he whispered. I nodded. He sat up, moved to the right side of the couch, and patted the space next to him. I stood up, carefully stepped over PJ, and plopped down next to him.
"My mind's on over drive right now," I whispered to Dan.
"Same here," he said with a small smile.
We talked for a while about life, or just anything that came to mind really. A while later Dan's eyes started drooping. I could tell he was trying very hard to stay awake.
"Just go to sleep," I whispered in his ear. Within a minute his eyes were closed and he was snoring softly. Before I knew it, my eyes were closing too.
...
I was starting to wake up, but i kept my eyes closed anyways. I faintly heard PJ and Chris quietly giggling. I didn't know what was happening until I felt soft steady breathing on my neck and a hand on my chest. My eyes shot open. I was shocked to see Dan cuddled up to my side. Careful not to wake Dan, I looked over to see PJ and Chris laughing silently in the doorway. I glared at them. They put their hands up innocently before walking back into the kitchen.
I turned back to Dan. No matter how much I wanted to stay here, I knew we still had to go to school. I gently nudged dan. He groaned and cuddled more into my side. All of sudden he shot up with a look of confusion. He looked down at me. We both blushed deep shades of red. He scooted farther away from me and I immediately missed his warmth.
"S-Sorry," he stuttered. He wouldn't even look at me.
"It's okay,"I laughed. I couldn't help it. He looked adorable embarrassed, especially with his messy hair.
He soon joined in laughing. I was glowing. That was until he said,"Hey, do you want some breakfast before we leave?"
My heart sank. "Um... no I'm okay. I don't-um... I don't like eating in the morning," I replied.
He looked skeptical but he shrugged and got up. I quickly got ready. About a half hour later Dan, PJ, Chris and I were walking to school together. I was the happiest I've been in a while. All my worries and insecurities somehow floated away every time I looked at Dan. His laugh was contagious and I wanted desperately for him to be mine. I was in physical pain because all I wanted to do was smash my lips into his. This was all just a fantasy though. That would never happen.
