Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to USA Network and Jeff Eastin.
Chapter 10
Man, I did not see that one coming!
Peter's cell phone buzzed, jolting them both back to reality. It was Jones letting Peter know that everyone was ready to view the video again.
"We're needed in the conference room now." Peter stood up waiting for Neal.
Neal leapt up suddenly, looking panic-stricken. He grabbed Peter's arms, and pleaded, "Please don't tell anyone what I told you!" He had shocked himself by revealing so much to the FBI agent, who would surely want to investigate the matter.
"Neal, you've just confessed to murder."
"No, no, no, Peter. Please, I've never told anyone about it. Not even Mozzie. No one else has to know. Peter please!" Neal's eyes were wide and fearful, and his voice had become unnaturally high pitched.
It was true that he had never spoken about what had happened. He was furious at himself for having said anything. He had literally forced himself to forget about his childhood. It had been almost two decades since he had last woken up screaming for help. All those nights with Mozzie trying to calm him down seemed a lifetime ago. The perfect life he had created for himself had crumbled somewhat when he had been arrested but he had remained Neal Caffrey, debonair conman and lovable rogue. He couldn't go back to how it had been before and once people knew his secret they would see him as a victim and he couldn't stand that. Even as his thoughts raced he could feel the old fear creeping back. His stomach tightened and he was visibly shaking. He had to stop Peter from telling anyone else!
Peter watched in alarm as Neal slipped back into that glazed look he had had at June's. He could tell that Neal was on the verge of losing it.
"Neal, calm down. Please let's just make it through this meeting and then we'll talk, okay? We both know that you will not be prosecuted for anything that you did as a child. But we have to discuss it. You can't just drop that kind of information on me and expect me to ignore it. I won't say anything to anyone else until you and I have spoken about it further, I promise."
Neal was still clutching his arms, his fingers digging deep into Peter's flesh. Damn it Neal, you're hurting me! He watched Neal closely, relieved to see him drift back to some semblance of normal. Neal released him, surprised that he had been holding him and mumbled an apology while he brushed down Peter's sleeves. The phone buzzed again and Peter put his hands on Neal's shoulders, meeting his gaze.
"Neal, I am here for you, buddy. You are not going to have to deal with this alone, okay? Just hang in there until this meeting is done and I'll get you home. Can you do that?"
Neal nodded silently. Peter's heart went out to him; he looked so tired and washed out. Eleven years old, what the hell happened to you Neal? Peter knew that they had a long road ahead of them and he sighed sadly, not wanting to think about what Neal must have gone through that would lead him to do such a thing. He put his arm around the younger man and guided him to the elevator. He looked down to see Neal's hands still shaking and noticed the red welts on his wrists where the zip ties had been. The zip ties that he had put on him while so full of anger and judgment. He was embarrassed to realize how tight he had put them; they must been painful. Shame flooded through him as it dawned on him that Neal had put his hands in his pockets to hide the marks from him, so that Peter wouldn't feel bad about what he had done. As the elevator went up he took Neal's hand in his and gently rubbed his wrist. Neal looked startled and pulled his hand away, shoving it into his pocket and out of sight again.
"Neal, I really am so very sorry. Please forgive me."
"It's okay Peter, I've lived through worse." I bet you have. Peter thought to himself; now more determined than ever to help Neal.
I bet you have.
TBC
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