Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to USA Network and Jeff Eastin.


Chapter 15

In the time it took for the coffee to brew, Neal had snapped back into Neal Caffrey mode. He apologized profusely for waking the household and asked to be let back to June's, but Peter refused. He genuinely seemed to have no recall about anything that had occurred upstairs or about the previous episode at June's and appeared very uncomfortable with the idea that he was not in control of himself.

"Neal, do you remember what you were dreaming about?" Peter asked anxiously.

"I don't remember a thing," Neal replied evasively. Of course, he knew what it was from how Peter described his behavior, but he was being truthful when he said he couldn't recall the actual dream. He was hoping Peter would let it go at that, but Peter was not willing to give up so easily. Although he had agreed to let Neal talk to them in his own time, he felt that things were unraveling too quickly, and these episodes would only get worse. He wasn't proud of what he did next but he knew it would provoke some kind of reaction from Neal.

"Neal, last night you really frightened June and tonight you hurt Elizabeth."

"Peter!" Elizabeth looked furiously at Peter.

For his part, Neal looked horrified. He was close to tears as he turned to Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth, I'm so very, very sorry. I didn't realize. What did I do?" he pleaded.

Elizabeth was mad at Peter for saying it but realized that he was trying to shock Neal into talking. She put her hands on Neal's face and tried to console him, but he pulled away from her and stood up, moving away from the table.

"I'm so, sorry Elizabeth. Please, I didn't mean to hurt you."

He started pacing back and forth, rubbing his hands through his hair, his expression one of total despair.

Peter got up and took him by the arm, leading him back to the table and making him sit down. He knew this was the time to get Neal to talk, before he got too upset or shut down. He looked over at Elizabeth apologetically, but her anger had clearly dissipated and, instead of frowning at him, she gave him an encouraging nod.

"Neal, what happened to you when you were a child that led up to your killing that man?" Peter asked.

"Please, I don't want to talk about it. I've forgotten it all years ago and I want it to stay that way," Neal pleased.

"But Neal, sweetie, it's coming back to you whether you want it to or not. These dreams, they were about things that have happened, weren't they?" Elizabeth asked gently.

"I suppose so," Neal grudgingly agreed.

"I think that the nightmares are only going to get worse until you address your past," Elizabeth added thoughtfully. "Have you ever talked to anyone about it?"

"No."

"Not even Mozzie?" Peter asked.

"A little, but that was years ago and he never pushed me on it. Mozzie's had it rough himself, and he could tell I wanted to forget and move on."

"Do you really think you can just forget something like this, Neal?" Peter continued.

"I did. I really did, Peter. I haven't thought about it in years. Honestly." Neal sounded so anguished that Peter couldn't help but put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"What about the girl? Can you tell me her name at least?" Peter suggested hoping it would be a starting point.

"I don't know her name," Neal replied honestly. "I think I knew it at some time, but I always called her girl."

Peter and Elizabeth exchanged a puzzled look.

"What did she call you?" Elizabeth asked.

"Boy."

"And the man, do you recall his name?" Peter asked.

"We never knew it. We had to call him Sir. We didn't think to find out after we killed him."

Peter had no doubt that Neal was telling the truth. They had been through countless conversations where Neal would avoid the truth through some kind of linguistic gymnastics, and Peter was well aware of his evasions. This discussion was different, like the brief exchange in the holding cell when Neal had told him about the killing. He sounded weary, as though he had no reserves left to lie with.

"Why did you have to call him Sir?" Elizabeth asked, confused.

"It was his house, and he said we had to follow his rules."

"Neal, was this man your father?" Peter asked.

"No."

"A relative?"

"No."

"A foster parent?"

"No."

Peter shot Elizabeth an exasperated look. She could tell he was getting impatient to solve this puzzle and decided to take a different route.

"Neal, how did you meet this man?"

"We were walking home from school, and he stopped and told us to get in the car." Neal mumbled, staring at the table.

"And then what happened?" Elizabeth continued.

"Then he took us to his house." Neal put his elbows on the table leant his forehead on his hands. He closed his eyes, although not before a tear slipped out and dropped to the table. Elizabeth looked aghast at Peter, who was doing his best to keep control of himself. He could feel his stomach tightening.

"Neal, are you saying that this man kidnapped you and the girl?" Peter asked, a sick feeling welling up in his gut.

"Yes."

"And you were eleven when this happened?"

"No."

"How old were you?"

There was a long silence. Neal stifled a sob, but didn't reply.

Peter felt like they had reached the point of no return. He couldn't let Neal stop, even though it was clearly painful for him to continue. Elizabeth, feeling the same way, looked at her husband and mouthed, "Carry on."

"Neal, how old were you when the man kidnapped you?"

"Five."


TBC

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story or added it to their alerts/favorites. I am having a hard time going forward with it and the feedback has been an encouragement.

Thank you lstuds for the beta graft work.