Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to USA Network and Jeff Eastin.


Chapter 22

"I think I need a break." Peter said, looking up. "It sounds like Neal is awake. How about we visit with him for a little bit and then regroup here so I can fill you in some more?"

Elizabeth and Mozzie, as eager as Peter for some relief from Neal's woeful tale, readily agreed.

In contrast to the gloomy atmosphere in the waiting room there was a distinct air of merriment winding its way over from Neal's nearby room. They all got up and followed the sound of girlish laughter. As they approached, four nurses spilled out into the corridor, amidst much hilarity.

"Typical." Peter snapped. "They go in, fully-trained professionals, and come out a bunch of giggling schoolgirls!"

On entering the room, the three friends were stopped in their tracks. Neal was a marked man; he lay on his bed, a huge grin plastered over his face. Elizabeth gasped and covered her mouth. Peter just gaped and shook his head. Mozzie was the first to recover.

"Oh, my. That's quite a number they did on you." He said, pulling a chair up close to the bed to get a better look.

Peter snorted his disapproval and sat on the seat in the corner. Elizabeth remained standing, crossing her arms. Peter was amused to see that instead of smiling back at Neal she was looking decidedly peeved. The nurses appeared to have taken their lead from her and had covered Neal in an array of lipstick kisses. His face, arms and chest were a myriad of pink and red hues.

"Please tell us those stops where the sheets begin." Mozzie groaned.

"I've no idea." Neal replied. "I woke up to catch the young ladies in the act, as it were. Care to check, Elizabeth?"

"Neal!" Peter barked.

Elizabeth ignored both of them and marched into the en suite bathroom. She returned shortly after with a box of tissues and a large bottle of cream hand-sanitizer. Sitting on the edge of the bed she pumped the lotion into her hand and then liberally applied it to Neal's face. Pulling a couple of tissues out of the box she started scrubbing off the offending marks.

"Ow!" Neal called out. "Be gentle! I am an invalid remember."

Elizabeth just glared at him and continued rubbing, not at all gently, Peter was pleased to see.

Neal looked to Mozzie for sympathy, but none was forthcoming. Mozzie just raised his eyebrows and sat smirking back at him, Oh, you did it now, my friend. You angered Mrs. Suit!

After five minutes of energetic make-up removal, only one kiss remained; a set of perfect scarlet lips enclosed Neal's naval. Elizabeth squirted a large blob of sanitizer into Neal's belly button before dumping the tissue box on his chest. Neal's gasped as the icy lotion hit his skin.

"You're on your own with that one!" Elizabeth hissed and went to wash her hands.

Neal miserably wiped the lipstick off, much to Peter and Mozzie's amusement.

"It seems the great Neal Caffrey charm has finally been thwarted!" Peter laughed as Neal shot him a glare.

"I hope you checked that that was alcohol-free. He's highly allergic." Mozzie warned as Elizabeth came back.

"Now you tell me!" Elizabeth shrieked, turning around to inspect Neal, who was scratching at his neck.

"Something's stinging me." Neal whined.

As Elizabeth looked on in horror, his whole upper body started breaking out in tiny red pinpricks.

"Nice one Mr. H!" Peter remarked, slapping Mozzie on the shoulder as he got up to inspect Neal's reddening body.

"Really, you're each as juvenile as the other!" Elizabeth exclaimed in exasperation, setting off to find some medical help. As she headed toward the main ward she could hear Peter and Mozzie laughing.

A few minutes later Elizabeth returned to find Neal, close to tears, frantically rubbing at his skin. Peter had covered him with as many wet washcloths as he could find in the bathroom. Mozzie remained in his seat, smiling in a self-satisfied way, as if privy to some secret.

"Help's on its way." Elizabeth said to Peter (not to Neal, Peter noticed). "As soon as the doctor said Neal needed an oatmeal bath there was a near stampede. You should see it out there now; the nurses' station looks like the Marie Celeste."

Right on cue, the same gaggle of nurses appeared at the door, supplies in hand.

"Oh, what did she do to you?"

"You poor thing!"

"You'll be fine, as soon as we get you in the bath!"

"Yeah, I'm sure he will." Peter sniped, before picking up his briefcase and heading for the door. "I for one am not sticking around to witness this." He huffed as he left for the waiting room.

Neal looked over at Mozzie. "Thanks, Moz Man!" he winked.

Realizing that she had been set up for the second time that day Elizabeth let out a disgusted "Uurgh!" and tossing her head back in a manner unnervingly akin to Miss Piggy, she flounced out of the room, Mozzie firmly in tow.

"Any time man." Mozzie called over his shoulder, returning the wink.


TBC - I appreciate your feedback; if you are following this story please take the time to review it.

Many thanks to lstuds for beta reading.