The following Saturday was their first game of the season against the Blake Bears. Adam got there first thing in the morning as he usually did, but was this time accompanied by Julie, who'd slept over at his house the night before (obviously, his parents didn't care. The more girls their son was sleeping with the better. Although, all the two of them had done was eat popcorn and then go to bed super early). After about twenty minutes of the two of them practicing, they headed over to the stands to sit.
"So, uh, there's one thing that we kind of avoided talking about last night," Julie said.
"Why you haven't gone out with Averman yet?"
She laughed a little. "No. He rescheduled for next week – he was too busy . . . being Averman, I guess? Yeah, I don't know, he didn't really give much of an excuse. But anyway, I meant, we haven't talked about . . . the latest gossip . . . involving the Ducks. More specifically, involving Charlie."
Julie hadn't brought up Charlie the night before because she knew it kind of saddened Adam and she wanted a fun night of watching whatever shitty movie was playing on TV and making fun of the acting. But she knew that Linda was probably going to be at the game today and she couldn't just not tell him, leave him completely surprised.
She took a deep breath. "Charlie and Linda. Apparently – and I don't know if this is true, it's just what I've heard, and seen – they're a thing again. Or they're just talking, I don't know,"
Adam nodded and forced a smile, "Yeah, I know. The guys were talking about it over lunch the other day,"
"I'm sorry. I wanted to be the one to tell you but I didn't want to upset you,"
"It's fine, Julie. It's not even a big deal. I mean, I'm with Jessica anyway. It shouldn't matter," he explained. She could tell that he was lying, obviously faking what he was saying but she chose to believe it. Adam putting on a happy face was better then him being outwardly unhappy.
But it was going to come out eventually how unhappy he truly was.
The team arrives an hour later. Goldberg gives each team mate a fake interview. Charlie tries to get everyone pumped up. Connie checks to make sure everyone's jersey isn't tucked into their pads. Adam goes over plays in his head. It's pretty normal, it's what they do before every game. It's just when he hears Connie say, "So am I gonna get to hang out with Linda again, Charlie?" that Adam's fists tighten. Charlie laughs and shrugs and says, "I don't know,"
"What do you mean you don't know, man?" said Russ. "You ditching us to eat with her on the damn soccer field every day. Yeah, we know. You're not fooling us,"
Adam turned away from the team, trying to ignore the stomachache he could feel coming.
"I like Linda, she's nice," said Ken.
"Nice and hot," Portman reminded him and rustled Charlie's hair. Charlie jokingly shoved him.
"Can we focus on the game? I really don't feel like getting our asses handed to us because you're all too busy thinking with your dicks," Julie asked and Adam silently thanked her.
"Okay, okay, we can focus on the game," said Goldberg. "Is Lady Linda coming today?"
Julie groaned.
"Yeah, she said she is," Charlie smiled.
Dwayne punched him gently in the arm. "Gonna lasso her in with those goal scoring skills, huh, Charlie?"
A couple of the boys started wooping and hollering with Portman spurting out comments like "Gonna score more than just goals today,"
Orion claps his hands loudly to break it up. "Hey, enough of this horsing around! Did you forget you have a game in thirty minutes?"
Everyone instantly shuts up and Charlie apologizes on their behalf. Orion nods simply at him. The stern man cleared his throat and folded his hands behind his back. The room is silent, knowing that he's about to give them a pre-game speech. "So . . . I am sure that you are all aware of the importance of this season. It is your last year of high school, and for many of you, your last year playing hockey. I do not plan on getting sentimental because the point of that would be lost in the emotional value of this game, but um, it has certainly been quite an honor coaching you this past years and I have enjoyed in throughly. So um, I just wanted to say good luck. And I'll see you out there,"
He left quickly and all the Ducks were stuck in the awkwardness of the speech. "That's the most emotional I think I've ever seen him get," said Averman.
"God, imagine what he's gonna be like during our last game," said Connie.
"We really gotta win this one. Not just for us, now. But for Orion. It's obviously really important to him and I don't want us to let him down," Charlie spoke up. All of them nodded in agreement, but didn't say anything. Usually when it came to hockey etiquette, they looked to Charlie. Despite his freshmen year antics (which they often teased him about), he was still their leader, on the ice and off.
Adam caught himself smiling at Charlie, who looked somewhat proud of himself for getting Orion's approval in words.
The stadium was packed full by the time the Ducks made it out onto the ice and they were welcomed right away with a roaring cheer. Portman and Fulton immeaditely started skating around and banging on the windows, trying to get them even more amped. Russ was whispering something about the Bears' captain, who there'd been many rumors about using steroids; and Goldberg and Averman were cracking loud jokes next to see if the Bears could hear them. Adam wasn't paying attention to any of that, only on the game, only on the things he knew he could do on the ice. Only on the plays that they'd practice a hundred times before.
He only gets distracted when he hears his name being called over and over again, loudly and shrilly. He turns to the stands closest to him to see Jessica. She's smiling as bright as ever, looking proud as could be to see his girlfriend. Adam, blushed, appreciative of her support and somewhat overwhelmed of it and waved at her. Guy patted Adam on the shoulder, "So nice that our girlfriends made their own little section, huh?" Adam looks closer and indeed, Jessica is sitting with Alexa and Linda.
A girlfriend section? Why was Linda sitting in the girlfriend section? They weren't dating yet? Were things really that serious? He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, in an attempt to distract himself. It's all about hockey, he thinks. Forget about Charlie. You can think about him later,
The team does their now famous Ducks chant and the crowd does it along with them. Orion is already yelling, already trying to get them as into the game as possible. Adam still can't focus. He can't believe Linda is sitting in a section for the team's girlfriends. He looks over at Charlie, who's focusing hard on whatever Orion is saying and Adam wants to deck him and can't figure out why. Charlie had no obligation to have to tell him if Linda was here, and still he's angry. He tries to find Julie, who always manages to calm him down but she's already in the goal.
It's all about hockey, Adam. Don't blow this. It's all you have, don't fuck it up, he imagines his father saying in his head and it's able to snap him back into reality. That his chemistry with the other Ducks has to be perfect if he wants to succeed together.
Orion starts him first line, in between Charlie and Averman. He looks back at Jessica, who blows him a kiss for luck and then looks straight at the Bears' player facing him, staring him down until the ref blows his whistle. Adam immeaditely takes the puck and skates his way around two Bears, before passing the puck to Averman. He darts forward to get back open and Averman passes it back to him. He narrowly avoids being hooked by a Bear, and scores.
The Ducks all cheer in victory, much to Orion's dismay. Charlie pats him on the back, congratulating him and it sends shivers back up his spine. He watches Charlie skate away with a flutter in his chest and upon noticing what he's doing, stops immeaditely.
They change up the line, with Charlie as center this time and Adam moved back to defense.
The Bears player gets the puck from Charlie this time and skates around him, right towards their own goal. Portman and Fulton run him over before he can even get close enough, elicting a loud cheer from the Ducks' fan section. Another Bear quickly takes the puck back, and Adam snatches it back, passing it straight to Guy who sends it to Averman who scores.
Orion changes up the lines, taking Adam and Averman out and sending in Goldberg and Connie in their places. Russ and Ken keep yelling out different forms at trash talk directed towards separate players. Dwayne is clapping and cheering, but Adam himself stays silently, concentrating to the best of his ability.
A puck slides into the goal but Julie quickly saves it and Adam smiles and claps along with Dwayne. It's never particularly a shock whenever Julie saves a goal because aside from himself, she's definitely the best player on the team, but Adam still feels himself fill with pride upon her victories.
The entire first period of the game is a total steal, the Duck are winning 3-0 and it seems like nothing is in their way. However, the break that they receive between the first and second period completely sets the tone for the rest of the game. Adam is waiting to talk to Julie or Connie to ask them about any specific events or tactics they've noticed, but Julie is getting 'tips' or whatever from Goldberg and Connie is practicing her trash talking with Russ. Bored of waiting, he looks around the ice to see Charlie standing over by the window in front of the "girlfriends section" flirting away with Linda, who keeps giggling. Why is he doing this now? They're in the middle of a game! They have things to practice for!
But Charlie looks so cute, so happy and carefree and Adam loves seeing him that way. It reminds him of Charlie when they first met and he can't help but stare, but blush and wish that someday Charlie will look at him that way (even if he never does). He's completely caught up in watching Charlie flirt that he doesn't even notice Averman grab Adam's shoulder and say loudly, "Someone's staring! Conway's gay comments from last week giving you some ideas?"
Portman, Luis and Dwayne who are all sitting near by bust out laughing. "Maybe Banksy's gay now too!" Averman suggests which just makes them laugh harder.
Adam feels his face heat up and he closes his eyes, trying to ignore them but the laughing just keeps getting louder. Portman pokes him roughly, "Bet all these sweaty boy bodies are getting you pretty hard, huh?"
"Hey, hey, hey," says Fulton, trying to set up a joke. "Let's not forget he's got a hot girlfriend."
The boys pause their laughing until Fulton finishes his joke, "She's got to be covering for him,"
"Hey!" Orions shouts to interrupt them. "What's this? Stop your gabbing and get in the game!"
The ref blows his whistle, signaling for them to get on the ice but Adam is far too distracted now to concentrate. His sexuality is a joke to his friends, they don't even know the truth and they do. If they react like this now, how would they feel if he actually did come out to them? They'd make fun of him, tease him harshly, figure out how desperately in love he was with Charlie. It would completely ruin his career, none of them would ever want to work withhim again.
He felt like crying, but he held it in. The announcer kid Josh's annoying voice was forcing him back into reality, much to his dismay. Focus, Adam. Just focus. He's back in the first line and he grabs the puck before the referee even finishes his blowing his whistle. He has to get back into the game and scoring will do just that. He slides past a few Bears players, Portman throwing one away from him so that he's completely guarded.
Adam is focused now, he always is once he's got his stick in his hands but for the first time it's not that easy because he hears Jessica's voice cheering for him and then remembers who she's next to. And suddenly it's like all he can think about is Charlie and Linda – Charlie's face when he's around her, the two of them together, the two of them kissing . . .
He misses the goal. Runs straight into the goal and falls on his ass.
It's the first time it's ever happened and Adam hates himself. He hates himself so much and he knows his parents are watching – he tries to never look for them in the crowd, but they're here and they're watching him. There's scouts here too, watching just for him to see if he can make the Juniors. He's ruining it for himself just because he can't stop thinking about Charlie's stupid face.
"Oooh, hard knockout, loser," a Bears player skates around him in a circle and it's hardly an insult, barely even qualifies for one but still, it's the last straw and Adam loses it. He takes the player by the shoulders and he throws him onto the ground harshly and starts trying to take off his helmet and just beat the shit out of him. The Ducks skate over (well, Portman and Fulton are cheering him on) and it takes both Guy and Dwayne to pull him off the unsuspecting Bears player. The ref takes him aside once his friends let him go and says something but all Adam can hear is "You're out of the game,"
The crowd was already gasping, but now they're dead silent, in blantant shock. They start cheering again the second that the ref escorts the speechless Adam off the ice. Orion is even surprised, not even stopping to yell at him before the other ref calls the game on again.
Adam's in the locker room and he throws his helmet into the wall so hard that he's pretty sure it breaks but he can't bring himself to care. He just fucked up so bad and he's losing not only Charlie, but hockey too. Something he never thought he'd fuck up.
The Ducks all march into the locker room pissed off and angry, some of them throwing their pads off the same way Adam had done to his helmet. "The hell was that, Banks?" Russ demands.
"Yeah, man, you cost us the game!" Guy says, saddened.
"You idiots could've gained back the points. We had the time," Julie defends him instantly and Adam can't even bring himself to appreciate her kindness.
"If we weren't so distracted by this Cake Eater going crazy!" Goldberg insists. "The fuck is wrong with you, asshole?"
Adam stands up and gets right into his face. "Maybe if you dickheads played a little better the whole game wouldn't always have to depend on me!"
"You saying we suck?"
"Certainly not saying you're good!"
Goldberg pushes him and Adam pushes him right back and Charlie gets between them and pulls them apart from each other. "Hey guys, knock it off! It's just one game!"
"Do you have any idea how important this game was, Charlie?!" Russ practically yells.
"It was important to me too! But fighting isn't gonna help anything!"
Adam shakes his head and stomps out of the locker room, pushing past Orion in the process, who's yelling for him to come back. But he can't. He can't be around these people right now.
Author's Note: Ugh, super hard to write hockey. I hope I did okay. Let me know in a review!
