Chapter 10: Through New Eyes

"Kazuya, wait! It doesn't have to be like this!" Jin found himself crying out.

When he opened his eyes, however, he was in for a rude awakening. The brightness of the room that he was apparently in stung his eyes so much that he had to cover them with one of his arms. When he tried his right arm, he realized that he could barely move it. The left was a better choice.

"Jin, thank goodness, you're awake."

"Wha—?"

Jin glanced over and saw a blurry picture of a woman.

"Don't worry, I'm here."

"Jun?"

"I know it's been a while since we've talked, but I'll never stop being your mom."

"Oh, sorry—Mom."

"You gave me quite a scare. I don't know what possessed you to go running off like that, but in doing so you must have fallen into the well by accident."

"A well?"

"It was an old well covered in vines. You wouldn't know it was there unless you came upon it…and you were running. I didn't know it was there either. I thought I had…lost you. I searched for two days until I found it and thought to check it out. It took so much just to get you out of there and you've been recovering here ever since."

"I must have been unconscious…maybe I was just dreaming it all," Jin said as he slid his arm down from his slowly adjusting eyes.

"What are you going on about?"

"This whole time…I thought I had traveled to another time, but now I know it was all just a dream. I guess it makes sense."

"You said someone's name when you woke up. What was it?"

"It was nothing. Just something that I made up."

"Hm, I'm sure it was."

"By the way, do you have any idea when I go home? It's gonna' be really boring lying here all day."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before running around like some fool."

"I don't know why I did that. I was upset about something. It feels like it's been so long since then…"

"I know what it was. That was the only thing I could think about when I thought I lost you. Don't get me wrong, running off was stupid…but I was guilty of being too stubborn. You asked about your father and I…didn't give you a good answer."

"Mom, that's old news. I'm over that. It doesn't matter anyway."

"No."

"If he doesn't care enough to be here, then I shouldn't care to hear about him."

"Jin…" Jun said shaking her head.

"I wish I hadn't asked in the first place. None of this would have happened."

Jun took a deep breath, "It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like," Jin asked as he turned his head. It was difficult to hold back his triumphant grin.

He didn't know what was real or not, but if his dream held any shred of truth, then Jun could easily be bated into saying something.

"Jin, I'm sorry. I must have been misleading you about him this whole time. I was just angry, but a mother shouldn't poison her son with her feelings—it's not her place. It's hard to be objective. The relationship I had with your father—it was supposed to end, there was no way around it so it's pointless to be upset about it. Your father—"

"What was his name?" Jin interrupted her. He noticed that she had been carefully avoiding saying it.

She took a sharp intake of breath, "Kazuya. His name was Kazuya. The Kazuya that I knew, he was sweet and gentle, but he was always so skillful at hiding that fact. Besides me, I don't think he was willing to share his heart with anyone. Your father, he was a fighter by necessity, but since I was with him, I'd never seen him fight before. If I hadn't followed him to that tournament, I don't think I ever would. Perhaps that was his downfall, not really wanting to fight in the first place."

"Downfall?" Jin questioned. He didn't like the sound of it. What if it meant…?

"It's…something I've been trying to deal with. His met his end at the hands of his father. I don't know what was going through his head to have called a tournament he was not ready for—

"I understand."

Someone else would have to do it. Someone much stronger than me. Those were the words that echoed in Jin's mind. Whatever Kazuya was becoming, he saw death as the only way out of a dark future.

"What do you mean, you understand? You never met him," Jun said interrupting his thoughts.

"Oh, sorry. I just…I want to understand. He sounds like someone who wouldn't normally do something like that—or you wouldn't like someone like that."

"You're right—I don't think I'd like to be with a guy who never thought about what he did before he did it. That's what I thought your father wasn't, but he fooled me, Jin. Without even telling me, he disappeared. The tournament was such a big deal that it didn't take me long to track him down. The only problem was that he had blocked himself off from the general public. I was now part of that general public. Jin, sometimes I think he didn't want to be saved. When I finally got in contact with him again…he was too far-gone for me to get through to. I never understood what exactly was wrong with him or why he changed so drastically, but I always felt as if I could help him. Always."

"So there's no way now to get in contact with him?"

"Jin, he's dead. He was cremated, they said—his father in control of the entire affairs. I had no part in it. Besides, I was just some girlfriend."

"Maybe it was better that you weren't involved."

"You sound like him sometimes. Listen, Jin, a family is supposed to stay together no matter what. I know I was just his girlfriend, but I was the only real family he had…and he chose to toss me away like some cheap garbage. I'm sorry—I said I wouldn't do that anymore. You have to decide for yourself what you think of your father."

"How can I if I never met him? Everything I know about him is from you."

"I know. I'm sorry. Not all fathers can be around for their children."

"Mom, did he know about me…before he died?"

"I told him I was pregnant, yes, but I should have told him sooner before…At the tournament, when I met back up with him—I don't think that it mattered either way. I'm not even sure if he believed me or just figured I was using that as bait to reel him back in. He knew of you, Jin, but he didn't know your name and was never given the chance to actually meet you."

"I wonder what would have happened if he had?"

"You ask so many strange questions. Now, I've been talking for long enough. You should get some sleep that is if you don't want to stay bedridden for longer than you need to."

"Alright, Mom."

Jin wasn't sure what to believe. The last few weeks—or the last few weeks that he had imagined—seemed so real compared to what Jun had told him about falling into the well. He still didn't remember the well or anything. He only knew for certain that he was in a hospital bed now and that he felt as if he had been trampled on several times. What of Kazuya? Could he still save him?

Of course, the answer was obvious. In this reality, the one that wasn't dream, it was already done. Kazuya was impossible to reach. Even when Kazuya was alive, Jin felt the same way. It all seemed like a very bad dream. There was no hope to be found. His mother was just "making do". Jin was back to living with a woman who tried desperately every day to hide her pain. Jin was back to pretending that he didn't notice. What could he do now? What could anyone do?

He had no dreams that night. He didn't want any. Dreams only served to give false hope and then snatch it away at a moment's notice. When he woke up the next morning, Jun was no longer beside him. She might have needed some air, he didn't know. The only thing he could do was stare up at the ceiling. The bare walls around him reminded him too much of before. For some reason, no matter what he thought about, he couldn't stop his eyes from becoming moist. Just as he was wiping his eyes before any water spilled over, his mother walked in.

"I feared for the worst," Jun said as she returned to her post, "It's been two days."

"Two days?" Jin asked incredulously.

Time had slipped by so easily, but he didn't feel like trying to figure it all out.

"There's one thing I don't understand," Jun began slowly; "I was going over the first words you said when you woke up two days ago. Maybe it's just me going crazy, but I never told you your father's name before then. I don't understand how—"

"Don't worry about it. You were just hearing things."
"Jin, I can tell when you're lying. If there's something you want to talk about—"

"There's nothing. I really don't feel like talking about anything."

"I won't push you. I guess I'm in no position to."

"Mom, why did he have to die? Wasn't there something you could have done?"

"Even if there was, there's no use dwelling in the past. If that's all that's bothering you, then you should just let the subject rest."

Jin knew that he had reached the end of Jun's patience. She hardly wanted to say anything at all. Besides, he was probably only forcing her to relive painful memories.

"There's just one more thing," Jin said, "I want to visit his grave."

"I'm sorry, Jin, but I have no idea where that is."

"What?"

"Like I said, his father took care of everything after his death and I had no part in it. If there was a funeral, I wasn't aware of it."

"And you were never curious as to how everything worked out?"

"It's water under the bridge."

"Are you really okay with that?"

"There was nothing I could do," Jun replied with a tense voice, "His father was a very powerful man. If he wanted to keep everything a secret, then he did. I didn't want to rock the boat—it was not in my interest. I had you to take care of and I wanted to keep your existence a secret as well."

"I don't like this at all."

"What's done is done. Trust me; you don't want someone like Kazuya's father in your life unless absolutely necessary. I took care of you so that I could protect you. Do you understand now?"

I understand that there are too many loose ends. There's still that chance…There's still that chance that he could be alive and mom was just too scared to go and figure it all out…

"Mom, you used to be like a detective when you were younger, right?"

"Yes, but how did you—"

"It doesn't matter. Something else must have stopped you from digging deeper."

"I wasn't just any old detective. I worked for a government organization that mainly dealt with wildlife, not actual people. What are you trying to get at?"

"It's just all really strange."

"I'm glad that you have this newfound appreciation for your father, but he wasn't perfect."

"I know he wasn't."

"Soon after he disappeared from my life, I was put on a big case. There had been reports on a major increase in smuggling animals and even worse, allegedly, these animals were being experimented on. It led me straight to your father."

"It wasn't him."

"Jin, now I know—"

"It wasn't him. Don't you think he was being….um, 'influenced' by something?"

"That's enough, Jin. Please don't make excuses for him. It isn't your job."

"But you have to believe that. You knew him. You said he was sweet and gentle. Why would he do that out of the blue? Does that even add up to you?"

"I don't know what to believe."

"What did he tell you?"

Jun shook her head.

"What did he tell you," Jin repeated with more force.

"You think I'm going to let you speak to me in that tone?"

"Spare me. I've already fallen into a well and I can barely move as it is. Unless you feel like finishing me off, what else do you plan on doing to me?"

"Jin! Who taught you how to speak like that?"

"Just answer my question already."

"Fine, but I'm not letting you off that easily. Your father, he wasn't much of a talker—whatever I learned, I had to squeeze out of him. What he said, it didn't make much sense to me and I didn't even begin to believe him. I do know for certain that there was something wrong. When I tried to help him, he disappeared. I don't think he wanted anyone's help. It was really all just a dead end."

"He's not dead," Jin said quietly.

Jun sighed, "I guess it would seem that way from your position, but you have to believe me. I was the one who was really there."

"I know you were. That's why you have to believe it to. He's not dead."

Jun's eyebrows furrowed a little.

"There's no grave. You didn't see him die. If he really died at the hands of his father, then why is there such a big secret over my father's death?"

"Since it was a tournament, death is something commonplace. Every fighter must sign a contract if they are to enter. No one is blamed for any deaths incurred. Everyone knows that his father killed him—he was the one who took over the corporation from him, but it was never proven nor could it ever be officially his fault. His father is a thorough man; he isn't one for half-doing what he set out to do. It's not a big mystery, Jin."

"Is that what you tell yourself all the time? What if something were to happen to me? Would you just listen to some random person who tells you I'm dead? Or would you go look for me?"

"That's a different story."

"No, it isn't. He's not dead."

"Jin, we're just going around in a circle. I know that he's dead. I've kept you safe here from the world for that very reason. That's all there is to it. Now please, Jin, no more of this. I'm not sure what's gotten into you, but you're just going to have to take my word for it, alright?"

There was no arguing about it to Jun. Jin realized that she had made up her mind long ago probably before he was ever born. If anyone was going to go look for him, it would be him. Even that seemed impossible. He'd at least have to wait until he recovered. But where would he go from there? She had kept him safe from the world, sure, but she had also trapped him. He'd never been any further than the forest that surrounded the house let alone out in the city.

Jin did let the subject drop, but it was all he could ever think about. His father might be somewhere out there, alive somehow. It never once crossed his mind that it wasn't the case. There was really nothing besides Jun that could tell him any different. Back then, he might have trusted Jun unconditionally, but Jin knew better now—she was full of fallacies, affected just as much as he by the situation.

The next few weeks that he spent in the hospital were almost unbearable. Without knowing it, he had gotten used to the Jun from his dreams—the nice and understanding one who had infinite patience. The one that remained was a scarred one, filled with hidden anger and far less patience. Now that he knew more about her, Jin doubted the Kazuya that he had known would even recognize Jun as she was now. There was something very wrong with this picture and only he could see it. Maybe, he was the only who was supposed to see it.

By the time he was allowed to leave the hospital and finish the rest of his recovery at home, he had made up his mind. He wasn't going to let things stay as they were. He had been too scared before, too much of a child to change his circumstances, but now was his chance. Maybe he had seen the past in order to create a better future.