Hello my lovelies I have a few things to say today before we continue...First off while I know that what edward has done is harsh I truly do feel that everyone deserves another chance...Will he get off without any repurcussions scot free?No! but he will be given the chanve to work for it...when we are young we make mistakes and plain ol fuck up, it's what we do with these mistakes and lessons that form us into what we will be in the future...Just please keep this in mind while reading.
There will be an HEA just trust me!
Not now but in the far future after the have both lived and learned.
Disclaimer: This story will have very harsh at points. There will be heart wrenching moments… I warn you now. You may hate a character or two but I promise no matter how bad it gets … there will be an HEA…. I believe everyone deserves a second chance and so this will be a journey of growth, humility, and finding the simple joys in life… the things that truly matter.
I need to thank my team… Stephanie, Kyla, Rachel, Bev, and Cheryl. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I hit you all with so many chapters last week. You never once complained, you just guys held my hand as I poured my heart out with this… I couldn't do this without all the love and helpful, encouraging words you always have for me… I truly love you all!
Twilight isn't mine you know this … I know this… soooo moving on
Chapter 5
Song for chapter
Alanis Morrisette- You Oughta Know
Evanescence – Going Under
Second year without his presence…
My second year didn't differ much from the first. Except that anger became the dominating emotion, it took over my entire world and never let go.
I was mad at the world.
I was mad at my parents.
I was mad at him.
Actually mad seemed too nice of a word for what I was harboring towards him.
I guess you could say I was going through all my emotional stages but instead of feeling them, moving on and accepting the next, I held onto this one for dear life.
It became my life preserver.
I clung to my anger; it wrapped around me as a blanket would and held what was left of me together.
I didn't know any other way to survive, this just seemed like the most logical to me.
It was so much easier to hate him and everything he stood for, rather than to continue wasting away.
I slept and went to school; the only other thing I did was write to fill the time in the hours and minutes of the day.
The endless hours spent writing angry chic lyrics, poems and quotes helped. It was very theraputic for me. It helped me express and let out all the dark thoughts that had threatened to consume me.
Now don't get me wrong, I didn't always go the deep route or immersed myself in writing only inspirational and heartfelt thoughts. Oh no, I was still a simple little mousy girl at the end, and as such just writing a simple…
I HATE YOU EDWARD CULLEN.
Was just enough for me.
The end of my junior year was heaven sent. I no longer had to pretend. I didn't have to put on Oscar worthy performances and act as if my life was better now that they weren't around.
Everyone respected me, many wanted to be me and some loathed the fact that I wasn't bleeding and dying in their presence.
To those last few I say… FUCK YOU!
I learned that year that teenage girls are all bitches.
The bitter taste left after every act was becoming too much to bear. So when the last bell rung and I was free to go back to my angry bitter existence I cried.
Not because of him, even though he was a major part, just not the main.
No, I cried because I could finally have a little bit of peace, even if the taste of it was extremely small. It was enough for my sanity, well what he left of it anyway.
The first month I went back to my main hobby of people watching.
Didn't learn much.
People around here didn't change their 'hobbies' or 'activities' much. The only new thing other than the neighbors three doors down, was the new lover Mrs. Banner had now.
He was extremely young and handsome, and from what I could see loved her and treated her sweetly. He was the type that opened doors, never let her carry a thing in the house and doted on her from the little I saw.
Very big difference to the ass she had as a husband.
I don't condone cheating but the bastard did it first and was still paying hoes to fuck him, once a week.
Yes, I kept an eye on that balding prick.
But other than that the only new thing on my block was my new neighbors. From what I heard, they were from Daytona and the father moved here to develop some new mall project that was to be executed within the next year.
They had a daughter that looked about my age and was my extreme total opposite.
I was extremely fair skinned.
She was a walking carrot.
I was a natural brunette.
She was a platinum blonde.
She looked to be a pink bubble gum loving pop princess.
I was a black wearing emo' rocker.
Like I said, total opposites.
But boy did she change my life and I thank the Lord for bringing her to me everyday.
I was out in the front yard washing my car when she approached me. She extended her hand out for me to shake and introduced herself as Lauren Thomas and I returned the shake and said, "I'm Isabella Swan but everyone calls me Bella."
I wasn't looking for any companionship but she refused to leave and struck a conversation with me. She was intelligent and was very much a closet nerd. We made friends over our mutual love of a vampire based movie that was all the buzz, at the moment.
We became inseparable.
That summer I learned to live again…thanks to her.
We spent our nights in her room just talking. Letting the other truly see what we were, there were no masks to hide behind, we let ourselves be free and open with the other.
We passed no judgments…just gave each other acceptance.
We were honest and I've never felt more accepted in my life.
I told her about him.
And she held my hand as I broke down. She never wanted more than what I could physically give. It felt good to have someone there on my side.
Someone who… I could lean on when everything became too much.
Someone who loved me…for me.
Someone that I could trust without fear or repercussions.
She gave me that and so much more.
To say she hated Edward Cullen would be an understatement. Hearing his name became her pet peeve, reason to explode and curse all men. A short time later I found out, that she too, was nursing a broken heart.
Her boyfriend of three years, Paul, cheated on her too. I could say that at least I was spared having to view it up close and personal…her not so much.
She found him fucking her old 'best friend' Rebecca in their school parking lot after cheer practice.
Did I say that best friends suck?
Neither of them ever apologized or had the decency to stop; no they left her in the dust and continued on their torrid affair/ new relationship.
I hope they gave each other crabs!
We both shared a mutual pain and distrust in people.
She truly became my sister that summer.
She taught me how to do a proper split and cartwheels without breaking my neck.
I taught her a few cords on my guitar.
She became an avid people watcher like me and I became engrossed in True Blood, thanks to her.
That summer was the best one I ever had.
Not because of the fact that I wasn't alone or that I didn't have to keep pretending all was right in my world; it was more than that.
It was the fact that we enjoyed what we did with our time together. Neither felt pressured to do as the other wished. We just hung out, ate a whole bunch of junk and had…fun.
I had forgotten what it was like to just laugh and play video games with a friend. I had forgotten what it was like to not have to be perfect all the time, to keep up appearances and let my hair loose.
She made me see the differences in my relationship, how used and blind I was to it all. I was made to fit his mold of the perfect girlfriend.
I was so blinded by my love for him.
It pissed me off and made me sick.
Pissed because I had been such a fool in every sense of the word, I let him do this to me, never complaining or asking the whys.
And sick, because if he came back I would do it all over again, no questions asked.
I was pathetic.
It was hard for us not to become bitter, but we managed.
Our anthem that summer was Alanis Morrisette's- 'You Outta Know.'
We would blast it everywhere we were. People looked at us funny as we belted the lyrics, but we didn't care. It made us feel good to sing about the assholes that first stole and then later broke our hearts.
Our parents loved our new friendship. They never questioned where we went or what we did, they were just happy to see us both happy and being obnoxious teenage girls again.
Time seemed to fly over that summer where I rediscovered myself.
Next thing we both knew it was the first day of school and as excited as she was, I was equally dreading it.
She slept over the night before and we talked. I told her what to expect, and to not be alarmed by my change in attitude the minute I walked through those gates.
She understood and promised to as always stick by my side. In her words she would "beat any ass that messed with her girl."
Have I told you how much I love her?
We woke up early and spent a ridiculous amount of time getting ready. I didn't want to dress up for those imbeciles we went to school with, but agreed with her not to give them any satisfaction of seeing me down. I had a role to play damn it and play it well I would.
She wore a pair of skinny jeans and a new vest top in hot pink with a matching pair of hot pink chucks, while I wore a cute summer dress in green with a pair of gold strappy sandals.
She straightened her hair within an inch of its life, while mine was left curly only straightening my bangs. We settled on lip gloss and mascara to polish our looks, grabbed our bags and hit the road.
As always pop tarts were our morning nutrition and as we blasted some 'Jagged Little Pill' through my speakers, while we raced through town, towards our last year in hell.
Everyone was curious about the new chick arriving with Bella Swan. People stared, pointed, whispered and made moves to approach, but we shut them down quick.
They were vultures.
"You weren't kidding when you said they would descend like wolves after their prey," she stated as Mike Newton made his slimy way over to us.
I just shook my head and straightened my back, ready for the onslaught of pathetic pick up lines he would use.
"Good morning, my love," he started and looked us both up and down with nothing but lust shining in his eyes.
I rolled my eyes back at him, as did Lauren and just laughed at his stupidity.
"I'm sorry how rude of me not to introduce my self, I'm Mike Newton. I'm sure you have already heard of me, being friends with Bella." He stared at her chest and salivated while she was ready to smack him. It was actually quite entertaining to watch.
"Now, before you go on and tell me the name of the woman who has stolen my heart, I have a question for you." Oh God here it comes, this is going to be priceless. The fool actually thinks he's smooth. This bullshit he's spewing is about to earn him an ass whooping from her and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.
Like I said, priceless.
She stood there, stoically, and waited. I knew she was about to pop but her curiosity got the best of her, so she waited. But I'm not so sure she was prepared for what he unleashed…
"Are your feet tired baby?" He asked as he got closer to her. She looked back at me for help, but I was already gasping for breath, laughing my ass off. "Because you've been running through my mind all day long," he finished and gave her his version of a sexy smile and I completely lost it.
She looked both scared and stunned.
Now I know that line doesn't make any sense being that he just met her but, that's Mike for ya.
I felt so bad for her that I stepped in and pushed him off. It was not an easy task, especially when you're bent over at the waist gasping for air… but I managed.
She wasn't as amused as I was.
Poor thing, but she is definitely an official member of Naples High now…
Finally, a little bit of light in this incredibly dark tunnel. Don't get me wrong she has a long way to go, but with the help of a few special someone's she will get there…
As always Thank You to all the readers for you're incredible support…I love you all!
See ya in two weeks…
