A/N - Plot heavy chapter. Trigger warning for past mentions of child abuse after flashback which is in (italics). I also wanted to convey what going through a trigger feels like to the one it's happening to. Cliff hanger, but I won't leave you hanging for long. Oh and please consider voting on the poll on my profile - need desktop version of fanfic to see it. Fan art for flashback only is on my tumblr.

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"Can we not do this right now?" Emma flopped back on the sleigh bed of the master suite staring at the ceiling. She blew hair off her forehead and sighed when the Queen's face came into view from the walk in closet.

"We need to talk about it Emma so we are on the same page."

"All we do is talk, talk, talk... I'm tired of talking." Little arms crossed over her chest, cranky even after a nap a few hours ago.

"Sit up please." Regina instructed and walked towards the bed.

Rolling eyes Emma turned over onto her belly, propping her chin under hand and gave her eyes to the Queen who came to perch on the edge of the bed. She kicked her feet in frustration against the blanket, at finally having to have this conversation.

It was Saturday afternoon and they had just finished up the weekly chores around the house. She had followed her Keeper into the master bedroom to ask about watching a movie as she watched laundry being put away and to her dismay the subject of her safe word, or lack of wanting one, had been brought up.

"I thought we settled it already. Do we have too?"

"Yes we do. I've given you plenty of space over the issue the last few days and now it is time to discuss it."

A pout. "I'm listening."

"You mentioned earlier this week before your reminder that you wanted to forgo the option of your safe word when you are small." Regina ran her hand down the child's hair when Emma blushed.

"Yeah cause we negotiated all that before the spell and I want it to apply now that we are home." It was an easy done deal in her mind and she wondered why it wasn't for the Queen.

"I inferred that. What I want to know is if you were also implying that you wanted the no safe word option to apply when you are your adult size?"

Emma sat up cross legged and picked at the duvet. "It's easier to have it be the same no matter what size I am, so yeah I do."

"I am not comfortable with that Emma." Catching green eyes as they snapped up in curiosity. "I understand the need for you not to have one when you are small, like we talked about before the spell. Part of that childhood experience for you in our other life was for me to make the decisions because you were, for the most part, a child with your emotions and impulses magnified despite your adult mind intact, at least for the early part of the spell. Due to our current situation with the shrinking in this life and the fact that you do have childish tendencies you cannot control, I am alright with continuing that here, though I want you to use your safe word anytime you are small when you need to pause, talk or process. That needs to be an option for you here because though blended with your little half you still have your adult mind."

Emma squirmed.

"Is that not the case or is there something else?" Regina searched those eyes carefully.

"I do have my adult mind, but it is getting harder for me to stay in control that way when I am this size, like it was in our other life as time went on. Or Like the vault. Big me made some of those choices, but little me took over and made other ones." She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I hate admitting this, but I'm not capable of making the best choices when I'm small on my own and I know you get that and that's why I'm asking you to take control when I am this size. But it would be easier without a safe word no matter what size I am. I told you it's okay. This is me consenting." Emma assured, putting hands over heart.

"Consent goes two ways." Regina reminded. "And there is a difference with how things work between us when you are an adult. For example the severity of your consequences when you earn them and the fact that you are completely capable of making sound decisions when your emotions and choices are not affected by magic or childish impulses."

Emma mulled that over knowing Regina had a good point. Several actually, as she always did. "So what, I am capable as an adult, is that the only reason?"

"People have also taken the option of choice away from you most of your life and I will not be added to that list now, even with your consent. Your safe word needs to remain fully functioning between us when you are an adult and to, in part, when you are small. When you are child size, I will make the decisions in regards to your safety, health, and discipline, but you will retain your right to safe word so you may pause, process, and talk if you feel the need to before we resume." Seeing Emma's scrunched face at the idea of her not being in full control she, added. "And we will resume regardless of its use when you are small. That will satisfy the need you have and our prior negotiations while still respecting my consent. Are you alright with that?"

Emma relaxed with that clarity and knowing that the Queen would hold the reins when she wasn't able to. "Yeah, I didn't think about it like you said." It was a fair compromise. She rose up on her knees and wrapped arms around her Keeper's neck. "Thanks for checking in with me, even when I didn't want to talk about it."

"Communication is important and we need to keep checking in to make sure what we have between us is healthy and mutual, for both of us." She returned the hug, adding a kiss and a pat to the small behind as she lifted Emma to set little feet on the floor. "Go pick a movie for us to watch. I'm nearly done putting away my things and I'll join you in a few minutes."

"Does it have to be a PG movie?"

"No… It can be a G rated one." Completely serious.

"Got it…no Fight ClubFrozen it is." Emma looked over her shoulder teasingly to see the response to the musical she knew the Queen detested after watching it nearly 20 times in the last ten months.

"You are begging to have spinach for dinner aren't you?"

That got the blonde's attention. "No Frozen. No spinach. Deal Mama?"

"Deal sweet one."

Emma tossed a grin at her Keeper as she left the room to pick a different movie. She was glad to have that talk behind them and appreciated the brunette's insight and understanding of their unique dynamic; one that evolved as it was, still required constant communication. Thoughts marveled at how they ended up at this point, the ease of their banter and open talks, blushing again as her mind drifted to her first correction, or reminder as they had come to call it and what that had meant for them.

::::::::::Flashback about 2 years ago… before the Do Over Spell and before Emma moved in::::::::::

Emma leaned her forehead against the white door of the mansion and knocked for the third time, nearly stumbling into the Queen when the door opened.

"Finally! You sleep like the dead. I've been out here for ten minutes." She shuffled into the warmth of the foyer, avoiding the annoyed look from the brunette. She'd been doing that a lot lately.

"That is what most people do late at night and where is your key? You could have just poofed into the house as well?" Shutting the door and following boots into the main landing at the base of the stairs.

"Somewhere not here." Rolling eyes, Emma turned around when a hand grazed her shoulder. "Probably in my car and that is not here either. I walked from the Rabbit Hole. I'm too tired to poof. Last time I tried when I was, I ended up inside the pastry display at Granny's. She's still whining about finding blonde hair in there. And we agreed I wouldn't if that was the case…" Shrugging.

Regina pulled her robe closer and crossed her arms. "Regardless, it is two o'clock in the morning and you shouldn't be out walking around in the dead of night, though I'm glad you were not driving." Strongly suspecting that Emma was more imbibed than could be seen at the moment.

"I promised I wouldn't do that and tell that to Snow."

"What does she have to do with this?"

"It's her fault I ended up at the Rabbit Hole to begin with." Emma muttered and leaned back against the wall, nearly knocking a picture off when her head fell back. "Oh shit, sorry." Spinning to straighten the wobbling frame.

A brow rose, clear now that the blonde was drunk. "Did you two have a fight?"

"Yep."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope… Well kinda. She's all weird about us spending time together, especially since we started the spell stuff, but I don't want to talk about it." Circling the subject as her mind blurred.

"I see." Clear that Emma was in need of sleeping off the effects of alcohol before they broached this further. "You are welcome to stay the night, as always, but we will have to continue this conversation in the morning."

"Awww, come on Regina stay up and talk with me." Emma reached out and tried to catch a regal hand and ended up steadying herself using the wall instead.

"I'm tired Emma. Come and I'll help you upstairs." Concerned with how off balance the blonde was.

Green eyes narrowed, and she balked at that idea. "Just because I'm accountable to you doesn't mean I can't make my own decisions and I can stay up if I want to and drink if I want to." Getting irritated, remembering her heated conversation with Snow and blurring the details with her current reality.

"That is not what I am saying. We will talk more in the morning. I am not having this conversation with you right now."

Hurt and defensive, Emma pulled back. "So you're giving up on me? That's it?"

Regina took a step forward, hands open and out. "Of course not Emma, that is not how this works." Gesturing between them. "We both simply need sleep right now. It's the middle of the night. Go up to the guest room, get some rest.

With a huff the Savior started to stomp upstairs, upset at not getting the attention she wanted. "Fine your Majesty! I'll following your fucking rules, but only because I want to." Half way upstairs and through her tantrum she slipped, hands out to catch herself. Palms burned as they missed the intended step and she shouted out when her right knee slammed into the sharp edge of the step.

Hurrying to the fallen blonde. "Emma! Are you—"

"Hurt? Yeah, damn stairs." Hissing as she was helped to stand and paling when she saw blood seeping through the new rip on her jeans.

"Easy. Here take my arm." Regina coaxed softly when she saw the blood, noting Emma's squeamishness towards it. "Let's go upstairs and into the bathroom. I have a first aid kit in there."

"Good idea, yeah." Mumbling as the last several minutes caught up to her slow brain.

She was led the rest of the way upstairs and into the guest bathroom. The Queen eased her down onto the closed toilet seat and went to the wall cabinet, returning with the kit.

"Change into some shorts for me please."

Emma waved her hand, magically changing into a pair of boxer shorts she liked to sleep in, freeing her legs from the tight denim. She watched as knowing hands opened gauze and prepped a bandage before wetting a clean cloth. Embarrassed eyes watched the Queen kneel before her and gently begin to dab at her knee. Chewing her lip as guilt began to settle in as the last of the blood was wiped away and she squirmed as an alcohol wipe was opened.

"Hold still. This might sting a little."

The second the cotton pad wiped across her knee she squealed. "Ow! A LITTLE?!"

Regina simply fanned red exposed skin and Emma visibly relaxed.

"I'm sorry." Uttered as the gauze was placed over the cut and taped into place.

"I know." Full lips smiled tightly as the brunette stood and summoned a cup to fill with water. Taking two Tylenol from the cabinet and handing both to Emma. "Take this and drink all of the water."

Tossing the pills back and draining the cup, Emma stood, stopping at the door as the bathroom was tidied up. "Gina I…"

"Off to bed." Kind, but firm.

With a sigh, bare feet padded across the hall and once in the guest room, fell face down onto the comforter. She was almost asleep by the time brown eyes came to check, barely noticing as she was covered with a blanket and the room darkened.

Morning brought the rudeness of light to sleep filled eyes and Emma groaned into the pillow, popping one orb to see the time. It was nearly ten on Sunday and she was about to go back to sleep when the night before slammed into her mind, forcing a sore body upright.

'My head should hurt more than this.' She thought, and then remembered the Tylenol.

That had been accompanied by a look she'd been unable to read from the Queen last night. Hands rubbed a pale face and she went to the bathroom to wake up. Ten minutes later, clad in a black tank and her boxers with thick socks, she went downstairs to find Regina and hearing noise from the kitchen, headed that way.

A plate of eggs and toast was sitting on the counter, next to Regina's empty placemat. The brunette was reading the paper, hair falling softly against a black sweater paired with relaxed slacks, and fresh faced. Glasses were removed; hand released the warming spell from a plate of food, and the paper set aside as the blonde approached.

"Morning Gina."

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

A shrug. "How much trouble am I in?"

"A bit and then some. Eat while your food is warm. I'll get you some coffee." Rounding the counter and returning with a steaming mug.

"Thanks." Wincing at that answer, Emma ate quietly as breakfast dishes were washed and put away, levitating her own to the sink once she was finished.

"Feeling better?" Wiping hands on a cloth, Regina eyed the somber blonde.

"Yeah, the food helped and sleep and the Tylenol. Thanks again."

"You are welcome. Are you ready to talk or do you need some more time to wake up?"

"Now is good." Draining the mug and standing to follow into the living room, sitting on the end of the couch as Regina sat in the middle. "Can I start by saying I'm sorry and I know I was a complete ass?"

"You may, though that is redundant at this point. Let me see your knee." Gesturing for a pale leg. With Emma's foot resting in her lap, she gently lifted the bandage to check the cut, nodding and repositioning the tape over the wound. "This needs to be changed in another few hours, but it looks clean and less red than last night."

"I feel really awful about the things I said and did…What I remember anyway. The details are fuzzy, but I know I argued with you about going upstairs, falling, and you helping with my knee."

"That about sums it up, aside from you mentioning the fight with Snow."

Emma winced. "That sucked. I think she's jealous we are spending so much time together. I told her off after she told me off and then I went to the Rabbit Hole to cool off." Pulling her foot back and hugging her knees as the look she remembered from last night returned to the Queen's face.

"It is one thing to have a drink or even a few on occasion. It is a completely different thing to be so out of it that you show up in the middle of the night, belligerent, stumbling about to the point of hurting yourself, and disrespect me in my home, one I have opened to you as your own."

Pink lips rolled inward, eyes glassy. The silence was stifling as she processed the truth, fear creeping up in her heart. "So what happens now? Are we still… a we?"

Regina softened considerably. "Come here, dear heart." Arms opening as Emma fell into her. "Just because you make a mistake doesn't mean what we have will change or go away."

Sniffling as she chewed the edge of a thumb in angst. "But that's what it usual means with people." Closing her eyes with relief when lips pressed against the top of her head.

"That may have been your past experience with other people, but I do not work that way and I know you are still learning that. You will not be ignored, or made to feel less than. I will however, hold you to our agreement for as long as you are willing."

"I'm willing."

The Queen smiled at the eagerness. "What we have is incredibly special and not something I would trade for anything. You are going to make mistakes and I will too. We just have to talk about them openly and without judgment of each other or ourselves."

Sitting up, Emma sought forgiveness in russet eyes. "I really screwed up."

"You made some choices I do not like, that caused you harm, and disrespect is something I will not tolerate. That directly breaks our third rule. We have also been discussing the need for a new rule about asking permission before you drink and we have gone back and forth on that quite a number of times. I am beginning to think it is one we need to come to an agreement on very soon." Recalling the gathering they had went to last week where they had decided to use the permission rule as a trial. The agreement had been to ask before each drink and Regina had allowed two over the course of three hours. Even so Emma had been a bit hung over that next morning when they both had the discipline vs. punishment discussion about the do over spell when Emma would be six. There was still much work to be done for that spell, but for now they were here. "Since we have not come to terms on exactly what that permission rule will look like yet there is not a consequence to be had for it at this time. Just for the extremity of your disrespect. Due to that, you have earned your first correction session from me."

Emma paled and stalling what she knew was to come. "A time out?"

"Before your spanking, yes."

Blushing now Emma wondered. "Can we not call it that word?" One never easy to get past her lips. "I feel like we need a code word for it, something unique just between us, like Henry and I had for Operation Cobra."

Regina considered the request though not too keen on a cutesy name for something that should hold deeper meaning. After a moment an idea came. "How do you feel about calling it a reminder?" Simple, to the point, and exactly what it was.

"Yeah, that's good." So that's what they would call it. Shoulders bunched and she rested her chin on her knees. "Do we have too though?"

Brows rose. "You may use your safe word if you choose. Otherwise I'd like you to go to the corner over there and think about what we talked about. I'll call for you when your time is up."

At the security and warmth in that no nonsense tone, Emma slowly obeyed, safe word tucked far away. Her heart pounded in her ears as toes tried scrunching the wood floor, wishing for carpet to grip. Part of her was grateful to be facing away, to have the privacy of her thoughts before such an intimate and vulnerable act took place. Another part only wondered at the difference between the reminder that was about to take place and the few other stress relief sessions she'd had over the knee. For those she had ended up being sore after, but the process to build the release she sought with the goal of tears to clean her mind of negative thoughts and worries was well worth the discomfort.

She had yet to be on the receiving end of a spa— a reminder, a correction for behavior. The notion that it was finally a reality, one they'd negotiated, made her stomach knot. The choice was hers and the Queen had made sure to remind her of that. One word would release her from the wall she faced or the lap she'd be over soon. She wondered if she would ever use it and if so, what would make her. Minutes tangled with reflective thoughts and soon the sound of her name sent a heat wave through her body. Throat dry and anxious, Emma went to stand at the knees of the Queen.

"Why are we here Emma?"

Blushing harder and avoiding the eyes that sought hers. "I was disrespectful to you and I drank too much and hurt myself."

"Eyes up here." Waiting until she had green pools that said more than pink lips ever could. "While hurting yourself was unintentional, the choices you made led to harm befalling you unnecessarily." She wanted that difference clear.

"I know."

"Yes, you do know better don't you." A hard fact as she helped the blonde settle over her lap. Without ceremony she pulled the boxer shorts down pale legs and wrapped an arm securely around a slim waist as Emma wiggled into place. "Do you remember the rules we discussed?"

"No reaching back, crying is okay, and my safe word will stop everything." Deep breathe releasing when a hand found her hair, brushing the length in easy strokes.

"Good girl."

The quiet promise between those two words warmed her heart as a hand announced the heat to come, a sharp snap against the seat of her panties; an attention getter. Teeth found a lower lip as more came, a back and forth, but a rhythm hard to guess where the next would land. Hips rolled forward as her upper thighs were given attention she didn't want, but the strong arm held firm.

Swats slowed as the peak neared and Emma fought the tears that needed to fall. "Gina, please…"

"Language aside, I do not appreciate how you spoke to me last night, or the fact that you were hurt because you decided to throw a tantrum to get my attention." Pausing her hand after a crisp descent.

Salt rolled down a single cheek.

"You have my full attention right now Emma and your choices last night were unacceptable."

"I'm sorry, really sorry." More tears fell, closer to letting go as her skin was bared and that hand returned to guide her.

"I've already forgiven you, dear heart. It is time to forgive yourself."

Regina continued turning pink flesh red and the crying softly began from shaking shoulders. Finally the Savior's body relaxed into the cleanse. A few more well placed swats ensured the continuation of tears, before a hand moved to lose itself in blonde curls.

Limp weeping took over for a few minutes until sniffles prevailed and green eyes opened to the light of the room. Helped to her feet, clothing was righted and she stood at that knee again unsure for a moment where she fit until she was pulled down into a tight hug.

"D-don't let go Gina." A whisper against dark hair.

"Never."

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By the middle of the next week they had fallen into somewhat of a choppy routine, but the predictability Emma had come to rely on was not there. The reason for shrinking was becoming harder to figure out and appeared to be more randomized as time went on. Uncertainty wore on her nerves. Just when they would get into a pattern she would grow or shrink again. On days Emma woke an adult she went to the station, on days she was six she went with the Queen and on days with both, they adjusted best they could. People still stared, much to Emma's annoyance, but they were more curious than judging.

Emma still thought about finding an answer for the Queen's lack of magic and the lost memories. She was also becoming annoyed that her Keeper's priorities seemed elsewhere; like making sure she practiced diligently in the comprehension workbook or with magic when she was small and getting back into her routine as Sheriff when she was an adult, along with making sure she ate well and got enough sleep. The back and forth between the switches was exhausting for both of them. They had disagreed more than once over small, but important things and Emma was grumpier than usual most mornings, like today.

The alarm blared waking Emma from restless sleep and she hit snooze one too many times, resulting in Regina coming to coax her out of bed. She had grown over night and didn't want to go to the station that morning. Their new hire Will was proving to be a much needed addition and feelings of inadequacy had begun to creep into the blonde head despite reassurances that he was there to help. She yanked the covers back from regal hands, refusing to get up until a warning nipped her butt into gear over the blanket.

"Giinnnnaa!"

"Let's go Emma. You are going to be late."

"Fine I'm up. Don't get your panties in a wad." Emma flipped over and sat up, running her hands over her face.

"Care to rethink that comment?"

'Shit.' She thought and braved green eyes upward, finding her voice. "I said that out loud, huh?"

"And so eloquently before you have even had your coffee, which is the only reason, I am letting it go." Regina kissed the top of blonde curls and left the room.

Grumbling on her way to the bathroom and then again to the kitchen Emma appeared long enough to stuff a bagel in her mouth and grab her lunch from the fridge. A to go carafe of coffee was offered and she softened, realizing she'd been less than pleasant that morning. That lasted all of two seconds before she was reminded to bring the station reports home that evening for the Mayor to look over.

"They are not done yet. I need more time." Admitting she had been less than productive that week through no fault of her own rubbed her in the worst way.

"Will is supposed to be helping with that piece, yes?" Crossing her arms and leaning her hip against the marble counter, Regina regarded Emma with thoughtful eyes.

"Yeah, but we've been training him on deputy duties in addition and things got busy." Most of the truth, but not quite all of it.

"Emma." The Queen prompted gently.

With a sigh and an eye roll. "I can do the paperwork myself. I've managed this long without help, Gina."

"You have, and amazingly so." Letting the eye roll go and seeing the hurt hiding behind the annoyed expression Emma wore. "Though that is part of his job and he needs to learn how to do it." She took the carafe and set it aside in favor of holding onto the Savior's hands. "Accepting help so you can free yourself up to work through this situation we are in is necessary. I know you don't like it and I respect your feelings on that matter, however it needs to be done."

"I know. It just sucks." Pulling away and picking up her coffee. "I gotta go."

"I expect half of the week's reports tonight and some of them, at least, in Will's own handwriting." A compromise.

"Yes, Ma'am."

A tight smile and a mocking toast with the carafe as she poofed to the station. Landing near her desk, she sank down into the chair with a sigh, now angry at herself for letting her mouth get away from her. Regina didn't deserve her sass and she made a mental note to apologize that evening, starting now with calling Will over to her desk to show him how to do the traffic violation write ups.

The day went by quickly and by late afternoon she was ready to call it quits. Putting on her jacket, she went to David's desk for the incident file to bring home and couldn't find it. Letting out an annoyed breath she called his cell and her heart sank when he revealed he'd forgotten it at home the night before in his attempt to be helpful with the mountain of paperwork that needed to be done that week. He was on patrol for another few hours and would not be able to bring it by.

She hung up with a dilemma; go to the loft to get it or try to conjure it. She was okay at conjuring, if she knew exactly where something was or if it was a personal item, but a random file somewhere in the Charming home was not going to happen. With a sigh she poofed to the front door of the loft and prayed to whatever god she hoped liked her that Snow was not home from school yet so she could slip in and out. Knocking once, then twice with nothing, she reached for her old key just as the door opened.

"Emma! It's good to see you, come in." Snow practically gushed at seeing her daughter willingly step into her home.

"Hi, um…thanks. I'm just here to get a file David forgot to bring to the station." Guilt at the deflated expression gracing that pale face hit her stomach briefly until it was pushed out by the words that came next.

"Oh, so you are not here to explain why you've been ignoring my calls and texts for the last several days?" Hurt evident in Snow's voice.

"I'm not ready to talk about the grocery store or your bow and arrow shtick at my house." Emma tossed her own barb back and closed her eyes, counting to five slowly before opening. "I don't want to fight. I just want the file please."

Snow sighed and gestured toward the living room coffee table. Emma spent a few minutes digging though the magazines and Neal's comics before finding the manila file.

"He misses his sister."

More guilt washed through her as Snow reminded about her little brother. "I miss him too. Maybe I can take him out this weekend for lunch or he can come over for lunch and a video game marathon. He likes those. Where is he, by the way?" Thoughts at playing games with the boy warmed her heart.

"I'll ask him and let you know. He has basketball practice until six."

The tingle indicating a shrink about to happen sneaked up on her and Emma sighed as it washed through. She caught sight of her six year old hands and wiggled her fingers. Little eyes dared Snow to coo or try to pinch her cheek as the Princess' face took on the syrupy expression Emma noticed each time she was this size. Her hand automatically began to reach for her pendant.

"Wait! Please..." Snow stepped forward as little feet stepped back. "Can we just sit, together for a minute? We don't have to talk. I just would love to spend a few minutes with you…" Eyes misty at the small face staring back at her.

'…Like this.' The words unsaid by Snow, screwed painfully into her mind by a drill held by the same hand that had slapped her. Emma shook her head to clear the thought. Snow wouldn't hit her again, not after that night and the rift it had cost them, of that she was sure. Still the memory was there and Snow now lay fresh, like a cold white blanket across her heart.

Those teary eyes made Emma hesitate though and thoughts of her revelation to the Queen during the bedtime story that weekend about Snow being confused and unsure of how to navigate their complicated relationship came rushing back. Maybe this was Snow trying and maybe that meant she should try too, in spite of her size or maybe because of it. She wasn't sure, but her hand dropped without summoning as those feelings stirred circles of confusion in her brain.

Emma relented. "For a few minutes."

Ear to ear grin. "Would you like some hot coco, with cinnamon?"

"I should ask first, but…" Mouth watering at the idea of sweet chocolate. "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks."

Seeing as how she was staying a little while, Emma tried shrugging off her coat, hair tangling in her collar as it often did after she'd shrunk. Trying to yank her hair free, she struggled with the tight arms of her now small red leather jacket.

"Let me help you." Snow rounded the counter and reached for the back of the jacket, tugging it down small arms.

"No, I got it." Emma pulled forward. Wincing as hair caught.

"There you go." Snow quickly took the jacket and hung it up by the door and went to the kitchen to make the coco.

Emma narrowed her eyes at the quick retreat and the sudden feeling of being naked, but followed when she couldn't place why. She pulled herself up to sit on a stool, the counter a thin wall between them.

"So, how have you been?" Setting a warm mug in front of her daughter and leaning on the counter, hands rubbed her skirt.

"Busy, but good." Emma sipped the drink, enjoying the warmth of the beverage in the coolness of conversation.

"This must be hard on you." A gesture toward the little body.

"Yep, it is. Regina has been an amazing help." Another sip. "We are doing okay, though."

A brief nod, wanting to validate what was said. "It's been hard on us too, you know." Snow, unable to help herself, went to sit on the stool next to the child she struggled to see as an adult. "Especially between us. I miss you Emma."

"I miss y…" The blonde stopped, remembering that she was not responsible for Snow's feelings, only her own. Lying right now just to keep Snow at bay wouldn't help either of them mend their past. "I miss what we had and how we used to be. I miss our… friendship." Honest little hands set the mug down as her stomach churned, now regretting her decision to stay. She was not ready for this conversation and not in her small form where her emotions often got the best of her and words got tangled. "I can't talk about this right now though. I'm sorry. Not like this."

"Okay… Then when?" Wanting nothing more than to reconnect with her daughter.

"I don't know, but we will. I'm sorry, but I don't… can't right now. I need to go." Having Snow's willing ear was unexpected and she felt unprepared for a talk she knew they needed to have. Emotions exploded behind Emma's eyes and were much too big at the moment.

"Please stop running from me." Earnestly trying to see through the veil covering green eyes.

Emma reached for her necklace wanting to summon and paled when fingers came against skin. Naked skin. "My necklace! Where—"

"It's safe on the counter there." Snow nodded towards the far end of the kitchen. "Your hair got tangled in it." It had and had broken unintentionally, falling into a pale hand that saw an opportunity in a desperate moment to connect.

Green eyes flashed. "So you just took it? I want it, right now." Emma went to move, but was stopped by hands on holding the stool on either side of her legs.

"Please Emma… We need to talk, like really talk."

Snow insisted, planning on giving the magical item back after they had some kind of real conversation. She felt like she was grasping at straws with her daughter and hoped that by quelling Emma's ability to run for a few minutes by holding the spelled necklace they might be able to get somewhere.

"I told you I don't want to talk right now. We will, but not right now." Panic hitting. "I want my necklace …" Voice cracking as her hands found her throat. It was a security of sorts, a gift from her Keeper and right now the only way to get Regina to know where she was.

"Hey, it's okay Emma. I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk and spend time with you." Softening and now concerned that her plan might not be the best course of action when she saw the girl begin to get teary.

Little thoughts and emotions took over. "I wanna leave now. I wanna go home." Wiggling out, Emma's feet found the floor and rushed the door. She jumped, trying to catch the top bolt, fingers just shy of reaching it. She eyed her jacket with her phone in pocket; also too high up.

Heart ripping in half. "This will always be your home too, Emma. With David, Neal, and I… We miss you and love you so—"

Emma spun around, back against the door as tears fell. "If you love me so much then let ME GO!" A foot stomped and stilled, but wanted to stomp again. If Snow saw her as the upset child she now was there was no way she was getting out of there soon. Fists wiped her eyes and she took a deep breath, back straight, fighting to hang onto her adult rational thoughts. Also trying to remember what she'd been taught. Regina's soothing tenor washed through her mind.

'You always have the right, without putting conditions on others, to politely ask for or state what you need. Others cannot understand or make amends or fix what they are unaware of.'

A hard lesson at the time of learning it and one she'd been taught well. So she did. "Please let me go."

Emma didn't just mean literally, but of the version of her inside Snow's head that didn't exist. Breathing became harder, the adult bravado slipping away. Walls moved and she grew hot, skin beginning to itch beneath cotton. The feeling of being trapped stirred resting dark memories of the past and these were waking up.

Silence and a break. "You are a part of this family Emma. Always, but if that is what…" Snow slowed her approach when she saw that little chest rise and fall quickly. "Are you okay?"

"Nooooo." Drops of sweat began at her hairline. The urge to move compounded and yet she was frozen. "I n-need Gina." She knew what this was, these feelings popping inside, and they terrified her. She had a minute, two at most before they took her completely away. Lips parted, sucking hot air to try and calm the nausea boiling in her stomach. The start of a trigger hurt like hell as her little body stiffened, tight like a rubber band stretched to near breaking.

"I'm here for you too." Snow tried her own hurt surfacing.

Over the fact that her daughter, her little princess, wanted, maybe even needed, another woman's love. That punched Snow in the gut and she curled in on herself slightly with realization; this is what Regina must have felt with Henry after the curse broke. Understanding of that pain and what it meant stilled something inside of her. In that moment she knew what she was doing with Emma, to Emma, was not the way to get her daughter back.

Snow wasn't here, not in the way Emma needed her to be, not yet. And in this moment, through no fault other than hers, was the Queen. Panic snapped her spine, turning muscles loose and Emma bolted for the bathroom; the one room in the loft she knew had a lock. Her sweaty fingers struggled to twist the latch securing her inside, the clicking bringing brief peace and giving her the space from Snow's eyes she needed to try to breathe.

But she couldn't.

Snow's incessant knocking and pleas for understanding didn't help her calm down anymore than not having her necklace to palm or the closed space did. The door between them helped give her the feeling of control when she felt anything but. It also created another problem entirely; she was trapped and she had done it to herself. Desperate to run and hide, it now dawned where she was. Like the closets she'd been shoved in or the most damning, a cabinet.

The cabinet.

Thoughts pulsed in a blonde head. It had been more of a linen pantry in a bathroom of a former foster home like she was in now. No, not here now. That was before Emma. Not right now. It was an accident Emma had said before, no it really was her lips pleaded now. Broken not breaking, something belonging to a foster mother. A necklace, like hers was now broken.

Emma was in the cabinet breaking apart inside.

She begged the woman on the other side of the door to let her go. Or tried. Her words blurring with other much louder ones pleading on the other side of the door. To open the door she now clawed at. Little nails had ripped in the past and again as they did now. Splinters under them for her efforts. Something sharp in the present cut Emma's finger and she jerked back out of the past.

Emma blinked and looked at her hands. Little hands like before and now this moment red and shaking, a single finger tip bleeding. Blood rolling to flood her palm.

Time fell away as the past took over pinching behind green eyes and surrounding her lungs, squeezing as her vision blurred. Emma stumbled back to the only place farthest from the door, the bath tub, she closed the curtain as a cover, hugging her knees as sobs started. In that moment she couldn't separate herself from the memory; what was real right now and the past eclipsed, tugging her mind apart.

"Emma! I'm sorry! Please open the door. I'll give you your necklace… It was an accident… I didn't mean..." Tears of longing and regret hit the wood floor on the other side of the door; new knowledge of the real barrier between them a great weight. "I didn't know. Emma…"

Those wet words fell on little deaf ears, already full with cries. The stress of the last few weeks finally caught up then and Emma's little shoulders shook violently at the mess she was in and the lack of a way out. All adult rationale was gone at the moment. Gasping as she began drowning in a full ocean of emotions too big for her to handle and was left with the single desire she voiced before her throat closed to words.

"I w-want my M-mama!"

The knocking stilled abruptly and a blonde head popped up at the sound of silence.

"I'm right here." A sweet plea for acceptance.

Vertigo pumped black water from emeralds.

Not said with open knowing arms or the parted red lips of a life jacket to rescue. Emma's crying intensified as she spiraled down into the whirlpool of her core at a sickening speed. Bile crested and lips vomited lunch pushing her back to the surface for air. She cried harder still before another wave crashed against her face. The rock of despair chained to her ankle forced her under, but the buoy of hope, of a promise, kept her lips above the waterline. A few minutes later as waves tossed her about another much deeper voice came rolling through the loft, her ears buzzed with the echo of her own wails as the door to the bathroom was forced open. Green hope met pacific blue and couldn't tell who they belonged to, but she knew who they didn't belong to, so she screamed, beginning to drown all over again.

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A/N - Thoughts?

Next time - Emma is brought out of her trigger and the pieces are picked up. Regina makes a promise to Snow. A set back for Emma ensues and David gets a new understanding.