Part Forty-Four:
"Well?" Kurogane asked his father. He had been waiting in his father's sitting room. His father shook his head.
"The man has it firmly in his mind. He thinks of Fai as a child. He feels very betrayed by you, because you promised to protect his son. He feels as though you didn't do that by sleeping with Fai. I explained our cultural differences and that you misunderstood. He did soften some at that and acknowledged Fai should have explained things clearer. According to his own words, Fai is a bit of a trickster, so that's why he's not holding you entirely accountable. It seems he and I had the one concern in common. We both don't want to see our sons' hearts broken."
"I'll go talk to him," Kurogane said, not one for running from his responsibilities.
"Not yet. Wait until after dinner. Let the man cool down a little more. Pressing him too much might pressure him into leaving early. Besides, your mother is trying to figure out what's wrong with him through divination. I'm hope she finds out and we can help him."
Kurogane was silent for a moment and then said, "Thank you, Father. I know this isn't what you wanted, but I'm very appreciative of you standing by me."
"I'm very proud of your tenacity and how you honor your mage and his father."
"After dinner I'll see if I can reason with the ice king," Kurogane said.
Yuui finally worked up the courage and asked, "How did it happen?"
"I assume you're asking how I became a reanimator?" Boris asked tartly. He smirked. "My father always used to say a brave combat mage was always to be willing to lay down his life for country and king. I wasn't prepared to lay down and die on that day, because I knew what my death would mean: utter war. You see, I also know combat mages should fight until their last breath, and I also know a combat mage uses greater force to bring about an ultimate peace. Three years ago was the last rebellion on Valeria, and now there is peace because of that egregious spell I cast."
"I actually remember when that rebellion happened, because Fai and I begged our father to not go. It was our fourteenth birthday when it started." Yuui wasn't sure he agreed with Boris' philosophy about a combat mage's role, but he wasn't going to go down rabbit trails with Boris. Maybe they could debate that on another day when they could be at rest.
"Hn... that's right. I just now hit my third year of grace underneath the reanimator's recoil. There are three years it doesn't kicked in, for some reason. That means I can start expecting it to happen at any time. Only goddess knows when it'll hit, and it'll be gradual; it increases over the course of several years before the curse is complete."
"Father came home from Valeria and wouldn't let me come back to Luval. I knew Mayor Tanya was very upset about something. She would whisper when I was around to other mayors and constables. I kept sensing everyone's fear and hatred; it made me afraid. All I knew was that King Ashura was having a very hard time and it all was linked to Valeria."
"Things were heating up, and it only took one little thing to set loose an angry mob. That would be me. They hated my father, no matter how kind he had been to them and went out of his way to be fair to them. They wanted to send a message to my father and King Ashura, and that message was to be my head on a pike after they stoned me to death."
Boris then recounted the tale of how he got forced into the situation: his two betrayers, the blood thirsty mob, and the charnel house. He then talked about surrendering to King Ashura and Yuui asked, "How did you learn... that... necromancy... anyway?"
"I've always maintained it's my secret to keep. I'll never tell anyone because I want to keep that knowledge all to myself. I'm the only Celian necromancer in over five thousand years. I'm not about to reintroduce such a revolting thing to our society. And trust me, I know many, many necromancy spells I can cast on the fly if need be, but there are many unscrupulous people who wouldn't care about the price and would misuse the knowledge. I'll not be the one with the burden of reteaching our culture to raise the dead on top of the one spell I've already cast."
Yuui shivered in spite of the hot water he sat in. Boris sank under the water and slicked his wet bangs back. Boris then grabbed Zellen's potion and downed it with a grimace. "I swear you healers deliberately make your potions taste like shit."
Yuui smiled; it was true he hated the taste of most potions, too. He also smiled because Boris drinking the potion was a sign that some part of the man still wanted to live. It gave Yuui hope. He vowed to give Boris as much reason to live as possible. "So what happened when you got back to Celes?"
"Exactly what you'd expect. Stripped of my D title, drummed out of the army on Luval's battlements." Then Boris' emotions grew bleak. "And then my trial. My father died in the middle of it. He went to his grave with the shame of knowing he sired a reanimator, but he was good to me. He stayed by my side, but the stress of my trial was too much. I sometimes wonder if it would have been kinder for him to see my head on a pike than for him to have known I preformed necromancy."
"He must have loved you very much to stay with you through the trial."
"He did, but it hurt him, all the knowledge I had secretly gained really wounded him deeply. I will give you this much, between us. I did learn it in Valeria right before I came to train with Captain Demetri. Ironically, it was my father's position as governor of Valeria that gave my mind the ability and craving to find its undoing."
"Were the men that betrayed you to the mob ever brought to justice?"
Boris gave a deep throaty laugh, throwing his head back. He then sighed and nodded his head. "Oh yes. And your father dealt with them very creatively. He allowed me to grant them clemency or death after his initial punishment on them. It was so harsh there was no pointing in granting them mercy. I didn't want to anyway."
Yuui shiver and asked, "Do you regret it? You said to that bandit your conscious was clear."
"Some days I do regret it, but mostly no. I'll get my punishment for what I did, therefor, my conscious is clean. Those people would have ripped me apart and hurt my father by mutilating me. I did to them what they would have done to me by using the dead. I had only seconds to think. I did what I knew to do as a soldier, which was fight."
"The water is getting cool. We should get warm by the fire with toddies and then get some sleep."
"As you wish, Loftiness," Boris said, hopping out of the tub.
Before Yuui could chide him for calling him that, his face flushed as he noticed Boris' body. It was well toned, to say the least. He was shocked at himself for noticing. He'd shared a haman with several people over the years, but he never felt this rush of blood to his face at seeing bare skin. Fai, Ashura, or Zellen had always been with him to act as a barrier between others and himself, so he always felt safe. For some reason, Boris made him feel very unsafe, and it was disorienting.
To deal with someone like Boris, one-on-one, was intimidating and something Ashura and Fai had certainly not equipped him to do properly. They always kept him apart from people, both being overly protective, and there were times he felt so isolated and lonely. Zellen had always been the one relief his father and brother allowed, because Zellen was non-threatening, in spite of Fai's wild antics against Yuui's friend. Nothing else, social-wise, was encouraged that wasn't carefully filtered through them, first.
Boris looked at his own taut stomach, his fingers brushing over the hard muscles where the wound should be. He shook his head. "You're one heck of healer. I don't see a scar. It isn't even bothering me at all, now. You're everything people say you are."
Yuui blushed and looked down at the water, not saying a word. Finally, Boris crouched down at the edge of the tub with a robe and a turned head and said, "Come on, Highness. Don't get a chill from the cold water."
Yuui slowly got out and let Boris wrap the robe around his shoulders. He flinched away from Boris' hands as soon as he was covered and adjusted the robe. "Thank you," he said softly, eyes firmly on the ground.
They moved to the parlor of the annex. Their clothes were drying by the fire, so they sat on the hearth, letting the fire warm them. Zellen had already made a decanter full of toddies, they just had to pour them. Boris served them each and gulped his down. He took a second serving.
"I didn't think you drank so much," Yuui said softly.
"Usually, I don't. I find it repulsive to see someone get plastered. Plus," he gave a soft chuckle, "I turn into a smarmy jerk when I drink. Oh wait..."
Yuui laughed in spite of himself at Boris' self-deprecating joke. He then sipped at his drink. He enjoyed toddies. They gave a warm sensation that created a pleasant drowsy feeling. But he wasn't much of a drinker, unlike Fai. His twin could go toe-to-toe with the most grizzled combat mages on Celes. It was the only thing Fai had in common with his trainer, Captain Demetri. Then something hit Yuui.
"I met you before!" Yuui said, before finishing his first drink.
Boris looked confused. "We did?"
"Yes. It was when you were going for your D title. You were waiting. I didn't think anyone would be in the North tower so I was playing there. You were nice to me."
Boris all of the sudden said, "Ah... I remember now. We did, didn't we. You seemed scared out of your mind."
"I was. King Ashura always insisted I never talk or be around anyone without him, Fai, or Zellen around. I thought I was going to get in trouble if he found out I had talked to you."
Yuui's chest tightened all of the sudden. "I admit, after you handed me that ball I hid under my bed until dinner time. I never told him what happened, but it took a while for Father to convince me to come out. He was worried I was trying to remember my childhood again. There are some holes."
Boris got thoughtful. "Something traumatic must have happened to you, if you have such holes. It happens to combat mages when they go through something especially horrible. Your father could have cured that easily. Why didn't he?"
"I'm not sure, I never had the courage to ask him to cure me. Fai is no help, either. He just blows me off, even though he remembers every horrid minute of our time in Valeria. I don't know why they both keep me in the dark. I'm sure, whatever it is, they don't want me to remember."
"That follows. Have you thought that it maybe a blessing to not remember?"
Yuui shivered and shook his head. "But aren't they my memories? Aren't I entitled to them?"
"You are, but you may not want them when you have them. Sometimes the brain works to protect us and make us functional. It has ways of creating defenses so that we can be whole."
"It just makes me feel as though I'm not a whole person."
"You're a whole person. You have thoughts and feelings. You have a soul."
"You have a soul, too. One worth preserving," Yuui said.
Boris snorted, shook his head, and leaned over with his elbows resting on his knees. "Mine is irrevocably tainted."
"Magic is not permanent, so Father has taught me. I found a way to cure him, I know I can find a way to cure you, too. Of course, you'll have to show me the spell so I can figure out how to uncraft it."
"No. I'll never show the spell to you or anyone. Don't you think if you remove the penalty for reanimating it'll make it even more tempting for corrupt people to get a hold of that knowledge? Of course not, you're too pure to think like that. So, forget it. The knowledges dies with me."
Yuui felt his face get hot; Boris was getting his dander up. "Stop talking to me like I'm an ignorant child. I want to help save you and you insult me."
"Please don't pick a fight with me, Loftiness."
"Why not? You won't save yourself. Maybe if I get you a little angry, you'll find a spark of self preservation."
Boris shivered and looked away from Yuui. "I'm warning you, not now. I can't argue with you."
"Why are you being so callous to your health? Do I care more about seeing you healed than you do?"
"Final warning, stop nagging me," Boris said ominously.
Yuui knelt down in front of him and said, "If I nag, it's because I want to help you. If you show me the spell, I could find a counter, and..." Suddenly, Yuui's empath picked back up after his long sleep and what he started sensing in Boris shook him up. The man was getting aroused. Yuui put his hands on his cheeks to cool off his hot face and fell back on his rump. "You're..." was all he could manage.
Boris smirked. "That empathy of yours kicked in, told you I was getting turned on? Figures. I told you not to push me."
"But why?" Yuui asked in a whisper, shaking his head in incredulity.
Boris shrugged. "I have a bizarre fetish. People like all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons. And, well, being in an argument or any type of chaos is mine. Emotional friction pleasures me. Unfortunately for me, not many people want to be bedded after being berated, so my fetish works against me. I always seem to end up lonely."
"That's what I sensed that night you tormented the duchess. I thought there was something bizarre you were experiencing."
"So now you know to stop pushing me."
Yuui felt himself getting a rush of his own turbulent emotions he couldn't process or understand; they were flowing through his heart so fast and conflicted. He stood, shaking and confused. Boris stood and approached him. Yuui moved away, his back was now against the wall next to fireplace.
"Don't come any closer to me. Stay back," Yuui pleaded, starting to get panicked. Boris grabbed his upper arms and leaned in close.
"You want me to protect you, fine, but stop trying to lead me into something deeper. Either you want me, or you don't."
Yuui thrashed his head about and tried to jerk away. Boris was certainly stronger; he was under Boris' will and not his own. It terrified him. "Please let me go."
"Now you're afraid of me? You've certain given me enough mouth lately," Boris pointed out.
"I hate you! Let me go you insolent jerk! You're an imbecilic dolt! You're a pervert! You're a fool! Let me..."
Boris' mouth clamped over Yuui's to stop the tirade. Yuui was terrified; no one was allowed in his personal space like this. And then Boris' lips started moving and Yuui felt the man's tongue in his mouth. He froze, because of the rush of pleasure he suddenly felt as his tongue was gently massaged by Boris'. He struggled against Boris' arms, but it was futile. He slowly relaxed into Boris' kiss and returned it as he was being taught.
The man parted slightly. "I told you to stop causing conflict with me. Otherwise, I'll take you to the nearest bed and make you do kinky things to yourself while I watch."
Yuui let out a squeak of embarrassment and tried to get away from Boris, but he pressed Yuui against the wall firmly and pressed his groin against Yuui's. Yuui now tangibly felt the man's arousal and his mind went blank as to what to do.
"Please don't...," Yuui begged, feeling hot tears roll down his cheeks. His stomach was contracting in a mixture of fear and lust. For the briefest of moments, Boris started gently nibbling on Yuui's left earlobe. His mind switched fully toward his lustful yearning. Yuui melted into the man's arms and started begging, "More... please... more..."
"I'd never harm you in the slightest," he whispered, hotly, into Yuui's ear. "I'd only make you happy, but only when you're ready. I see you're afraid right now, so why don't we stop this dance and you get some sleep?"
Yuui whimpered and then felt Boris part from him. There was a sudden rush of disappointment when that well toned body wasn't pressed against his. It made him ashamed, confused, and needy all at once.
Boris took Yuui's hand and tugged him towards the main bedroom. "I'll tuck you in and I'll sleep out here. It'll be safer that way."
Yuui felt a numb sensation. He went with it as he let Boris strip him down to his underclothes and tuck him into the cool sheets. He grabbed Boris' hand and said, "Stay with me."
The man shook his head. "If I get in that bed with you, things will happen you're not ready for. You're the only thing in three years that's temped my libido to the point of distraction. I've been battling depression, so tonight brightened me some and brought me hope that I'm not too far gone. I could actually feel some full blown lust once again. But I'm not about to take your innocence just to prove I can still bed someone in spite of my depression. You should only be with someone when the time is right."
Boris stroked the bangs from Yuui's forehead and left quickly. Yuui curled up on the bed and sobbed horribly. All he wanted was to feel was Boris' body against him, but he knew that it wasn't the smartest pursuit.
If he pursued his feelings for Boris, it'd only lead to his own, eventual destruction, because his empathy would emulate everything Boris experienced in his mind over the years. Still, there was something in the pit of his stomach that craved that man's touch and craved more kisses from him, too. The impossibility drove him into a deep sorrow and even more passionate longings.
Kurogane gave King Ashura a bow of respect as he met him in a private room in the Suwa family compound. It was after a very silent dinner. Kurogane proposed the meeting, and he was grateful the king accepted. They both sat on cushions at a table where tea and dessert were set out, both made by Fai.
"Thank you for talking with me," Kurogane said.
"I'm not one for formalities. Celian culture seems more blunt than yours, so I'll put it plainly. You betrayed my trust. You looked in my eyes and told me you'd use all your strength to protect him. You didn't do that."
"I respectfully disagree. I've done everything in my power to protect him, provide for him, and make him feel as comfortable as possible here. I want to spend the rest of my life with him by my side. He means everything to me. I ask that you allow him to stay."
"Fai is too young for this. He has so much more training he needs. He also needs to earn his D title. You're standing in the way of that important rite of passage for him."
"I know he really desires that, and I admit I don't understand what it means in your culture."
King Ashura gave him a tranquil smile. According to what Fai had warned, this meant his father wasn't happy. "So you don't prize our culture as much as yours. You don't really value the things that Fai was taught to strive for."
"I do prize those things, sir. What Fai cares about, I'll support. We talked about religion, as an example. He'll follow his and I'll follow mine, but we respect each other's beliefs. He's mentioned this D title, and it is something he desires. I'll be by his side as he tries to obtain this thing. I don't understand what it is, entirely, but I know he wants it. And if he wants it, I want it for him."
King Ashura's smile dropped a little. "And you know there is a good possibility he'll be the heir to the throne of Celes, rather than his brother. He is the older. Besides that, I mentioned, Yuui is frail. Would you leave Nihongo and live with my son as his consort on Celes if that happens?"
"I'm aware of that and I don't know how to answer that question. I've been raised to focus my life on Suwa. My ultimate purpose in life is to defend Suwa against any that would harm her: period.
"Fai seems to think you'll choose his twin as the heir, and he told me he wishes this. Therefore, I went on that assumption. If something happened and Fai inherited your kingdom, then I'd have to have a discussion with my parents. Fai and I would have to make some hard decisions. But for now, I have no answer for you." Kurogane answered that tough question honestly, no need to lie to the man.
"I see you're as honest as Fai is dishonest."
"Fai is a liar, and I've done my best to break him of that. He's changed so much you wouldn't recognize him as the same person that you knew. Under all that goofiness he puts on, the changes are real and wonderful. I urge you to get to know Fai again."
"His power has increased a great deal. I feel that in my bones, so I know he's been casting a great deal."
Kurogane felt a little strange the man talked about the changes in Fai's power rather than Fai's character. No, this wasn't the same man he'd met a year ago, at all. The man he had met a year ago would have certainly had different priorities for his sons.
The Ashura he knew was a father that cared deeply about both of his children, but this Ashura seemed like he had some agenda that didn't account for his children's wellbeing. But King Ashura's new attitude was just so subtle, so he couldn't call the man on it. Kurogane decided to cooperate, for now. "He respects you a great deal, Ice King. I know he wants your approval."
"I know. He will have it, so long as he performs the duties I've placed on him. Surely you understand duty to one's father?"
Kurogane felt the sly man was using his own culture against him, now, and felt resentful, but he did as his parents taught him: be most respectful to guest. He nodded his head and said, "Duty to parents is utmost."
"Therefor you have a moot point." Ashura picked up Fai's handmade hanabiramochi and smile at it. "My son has become quite the chef. You know, Kurogane, I can't let you have my Fai. I need him back with me on Celes. There is a purpose for him that you can't comprehend."
Kurogane's stomach sank, but he still didn't feel hopeless yet. Hopelessness wasn't in his nature. But he did asked, "So you're mind won't change?"
"No, I'm afraid you can't persuade me, because I need Fai to do one special task for me on Celes. Once he does that, and if he is successful, then he's released to live his life as he wishes. If he fails, you may never see him again."
Kurogane felt his throat get dry. Was going for a D title that dangerous? Why was accomplishing this D title an important task? Did the task Ashura referenced relate to this D title at all? Kurogane had inherited one thing from his mother: the ability to judge people's motives, and this man's motives weren't pure.
"No matter what, I swore to your son I wouldn't be parted from him until the last minute possible. I will fulfill that vow with my last breath. No matter where he is, or what we go through, I will not leave his side," Kurogane warned.
"Good. You'll need that fire in your belly for what's coming. In the meanwhile. I need rest."
Kurogane led the king to the guest rooms and then made his way to his own, dark room. He nestled in beside a slumbering Fai on the futon. Fai stirred and asked sleepy, "Did you persuade him?"
"No. The man is resolute. He did say some strange things, though. I'll tell you before breakfast."
"Um... Tamagoyaki..."
Kurogane snickered at Fai's food addiction. For all he cooked and ate, he didn't gain a pound. He was still so scrawny. Kurogane figured it was from his early childhood. He curled around Fai's thin body and held him tight when the mage fell back asleep. Kurogane buried his face in soft, blond hair. "Not until the last minute, Fai. And I don't give a damn what your father wants. It's what we want that I care about."
To be continued.
