"Melting the heart broken into pieces without having feelings, I can't recall something, someone precious"
-Vana N' Ice, "Immoral Memory- Lost Memory"


Chapter 7

(Chrollo)

Time has passed by so slowly and painfully for me. Cruelly, never letting me forget that face, that aura of authority, the majesty and elegance of that one dark princess. She was a beautiful rose which I tried to pluck so carelessly and so, I ended up wounding myself greatly and deeply, pierced by the thorns of sorrow and rejection.

"Danchou" Machi sat on the window of my current home, a small and simple wooden house in the far end of a forest.

"Machi... This is an unexpected visit." After scattering that time, none of us knew where the other is. All we have is each others' phone numbers to contact when a job comes up.

"I... have something for you." She got off the window, her sack slung on her shoulder, and hesitantly gave me an envelope.

"What's this?" I, wearing a regular black shirt and loose jogging pants; my black hair down and a bandage wrapped around my forehead, took the envelope cautiously from her hand.

"... A letter from..." Machi looked away, as though disgusted by her own action.

I turned the envelope around and saw my name on it, written in an elaborate and beautiful handwriting.

"It's from Lilianne Vin Roze" I concluded and Machi just nodded.

"One of her servants, I think. I encountered him and he gave me this before he suddenly passed out. No, he didn't just pass out. He died the instant he gave it to me."

I thought for a moment and my heart stopped beating as a certain thought came across my mind but I brushed it off, hoping for the best. "Right. Thank you, Machi."

Machi nodded and turned away, about to leave through the door. She stopped before walking out of the door and said without turning back, in her usual tone but with a hint of coldness and concern, "Danchou, whatever's in there, please don't take it too much to heart, to the point that the spider itself will be in jeopardy."

I was slightly surprised by her words but I smiled knowing Machi's devotion and said, "Right. I got it."

Satisfied, she left and quietly closed the door. The absence of her presence suddenly made a dark cloud hang above me and it was all coming from the letter in my hand. Much as I deny it, I have a terrible feeling. Nervously, with trembling fingers, I opened it. It was my first time seeing Lilianne's handwriting and it was so beautiful and elegant, like herself. The small sense of relief and hope I felt vanished and my eyes widened in shock upon the first sentence.


Dear Chrollo,

By the time you're reading this, I'm probably already dead. I've suspected it a few days before the tournament itself, Jonah's odd behavior. Yes, it was Jonah and I knew that the moment I'm left alone, I might end up dead. I have a theory that maybe Sylvia nee-sama is behind it. I've never encountered the case before but maybe there are overlapping commands, overlapping loyalties involved. You know that servants are bound to one and one master only. But what if there were two? I've considered it more than once but every time, I've set it aside. I've suspected it but I just denied it myself for my own childish convenience. I just... didn't want to be along anymore... You probably think I sound so pathetic now, huh?

I'll tell you now, the truths I've been hiding from you. First off, you probably already know that Sylvia nee-sama, Pierre nii-sama and I are half-siblings. All of us from different mothers. I was torn away from mine the moment my tattoo appeared. You have no idea how painful it was for me to be taken away from the person who loved me more than anyone else, who raised me all on her own without relying on father or his riches.

Second, we met long ago. You don't remember that. I highly doubt that you do. It was my first time in Meteor City with my father and his men. They were distributing goods and I was just a little girl, being trained to be a better leader, to be a future Don. I wandered off in my curiosity. You know the saying, 'curiosity kills the cat'. Well, almost. I got lost and while walking further, all of a sudden, garbage, unwanted appliances, they started falling on me. But before I was crushed by the multitude of trash, I was saved, embraced by a stranger and moved to safety. I opened my eyes and saw a boy about the same age as me, with dark hair and grey eyes, and pale skin. The memory is still so vivid.


Reading that third paragraph, the memory came back to me, hitting me hard and sudden.


"Are you all right?" I asked the little girl in my arms. She looked so fragile yet lovely, like a doll whose made out of porcelain.

She nodded and replied with a whisper, "yes"

I stood up, took her hands and helped her to her feet. "That's good. You seem to be new here too."

I grinned at her. "You look like a princess."

The little doll girl blushed and stuttered. "T-thank you..."

"Well, allow me to greet this princess properly." Without thinking, I took her tattooed hand, to her surprise, and kissed it."If I were to be your knight or prince, then I will protect you like this all the time."


You were my very first servant. No, you were my prince. Words can't describe the happiness I felt but it shattered almost immediately. I heard the voice of my father's men and I ran away from you before we can even tell each others' names. When we got home, my father found out about it. I was able to convince him to look for you, so you can be trained formally but there was nothing. He gave up almost too quickly and told me to revoke the contract since there was no such sincerity in it in the first place. I didn't want to but they forced me, broke me to pieces, until I gave in. Upon revocation, I suffered great casualties. My health went downhill from that point and my initial frailty was of no help at all. I cursed myself for my own weakness.

"Be as beautiful and elegant as a rose... but sharpen the thorns so no one can touch you" were my mother's words when we were forcibly torn apart.

I never understood what those words meant... until that time I was forced to revoke my first contract. And I realized, that before I can sharpen them, I have already been plucked from the bush. I suppose I can say, you took me away before I can understand anything. And I had to suffer the consequence of my ignorance. ...

I love you... That's the third truth... a truth which I forcibly denied myself.

The pain of the thought of never seeing you again... The happiness of finding you as if though the fates tied our threads together from that day... And now... Losing you again... Just standing there, looking at your back as you walked away, satisfied, happy even, now that the troublesome and annoying brat is done with her business with you. Still though, I was very happy, happy that I won, that you fought for me, happy that I got to live and meet you, even live under the same roof as you. Though, I hated myself and my pride. You noticed, didn't you? I tried as hard as I could to distance myself from you and that's because... I was scared. I knew you'll leave again, whether you knew the truth or not. I was scared of feeling the same pain and anguish you put me through back then. I didn't want to fall in love with the same man who made me feel so lost for the first time. I hated it, you know? Falling in love with you... Because I feel like a helpless insect stuck in the spider's web, immobilized, frozen, just waiting for the spider to come and snap its jaws.

That time we met, when my father was trying to get you and the Troupe captured, it was a "goodness" he tried to give me, as payback for all the pain he gave me as a child. I didn't care though, I didn't even know that time, even when I asked you to fight for me. But the moment I saw you, I knew that it was the boy who saved me. Now that I think about it, I never got to thank you properly. So now, thank you very much for saving me, thrice. 1. When we were kids at meteor city 2. The Tournament 3. From my nightmare

Yes, I realized that you were in my room but when I awoke, you have already left...

May the fates smile upon you, Chrollo.


I didn't realize that my tears have been flowing all this time. Mixed emotions clashed within me. I was happy, desperate, sad, angry and frustrated. Questions started piling up, like 'why didn't she just tell me that she was suspecting Jonah?'. I could have killed him before he could lay another finger on her! What ever happened to having no intention of dying?!

And like a final blow, she completely broke through my armor.


"Having no interest in the inheritance but with no intention of dying", it was partly a lie. You can say I was already dead and I've died over and over again. I only felt ever truly alive when I was with you... and yet I kept pushing you away. It's not that I hated you. I just loved you so much that I was scared to get hurt. But if we were to be reborn, I want to meet with you again... and fall in love, to the point that this tragedy will become a happy ending for the both of us.

Love,
Lilianne


Right~ So supposedly, this story's long finished but since someone sent me a PM telling me to create a sequel, I will. It will be out around next week, Sunday. So for those who liked and read the story, especially those who left reviews, thank you so much! ^^