A/N - Humor and fluff ahead along with scattered showers of feels.
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Regina leaned closer into the mirror of her en suite, wrapping a burgundy ring around full lips. Pulling back, she assessed the color choice with the matching pin stripes in her black suit jacket. An incessant tapping drew her eyes to the thirteen year old balancing on the edge of her claw foot tub watching her.
"How do you get it so flawless?" Emma leaned forward, wincing as the edge of the tub caught a tender spot from last night.
"Practice and a steady hand." The Queen started to put the cosmetics away, but noticed the girl's unasked question in those longing eyes. "Would you like a little demonstration?"
She had no intention of letting the teen paint her full face, but a little make up lesson might be just the thing to perk Emma up. Fingertips tapped the counter in gentle invitation. The blonde beamed and hopped up to sit. This put them eye level as Regina went through her cosmetics, selecting the palest tones she owned of blush and lip gloss.
Emma had never been one for much makeup, finding the hassle not worth the time or energy. That and she didn't have the patience for precision nor anyone to teach her how as a teenager the first time around when she'd actually been interested. A happy bubble formed in her mind.
Swirling a brush into a soft pink and tapping the excess off, Regina brought the brush up to a fine cheek. "The key with blush is blending and into the apple of your cheek, fading upwards, like so." Turning a pointed chin so Emma could see the motion of the brush in the mirror as she did the other cheek.
"Like painting?"
"In a way, yes, or blending how you like to do with your charcoal pencil set."
Recalling Emma's insistent need lately to draw and process through art. She'd made sure the art kit she'd gotten in their other life made it to the spelled trunk and glad of the fact as it seemed to be helping fidgeting fingers work through some unsaid emotions. Hands put away the blush and a finger dusted a bit of highlighter on cheek bones and Cupid's bow. She then reached for a nude lip gloss with a hint of shimmer, showing the girl how to set her mouth and apply it. Lastly, the Queen conjured a new tube of brown mascara and gently flicked the wand once over already long lashes.
"And with make-up, less is more, especially when you are young. Take a look."
Emma turned, and broke into a glowing grin. Her face was subtly different, brighter even. She wrapped arms around her Keeper's neck. "Thank you… I don't think I want to wear it every day. But I appreciate you showing me some tips." Swallowing at the new memory she now had and one she didn't think she'd ever be able to get. Maybe having a chance to be this age wasn't all bad.
"You are most welcome and I agree, not every day. You will need to ask if you'd like too."
"I will." Fingering the mascara tube as she watched hands putting away brushes; well manicured, soft strong hands. "Hey Gina… You were really patient with me last night, after everything I did and I want you to know I won't mess up like that again, not on purpose."
Regina paused her task and cupped a pale cheek. "I have confidence that you will make different choices going forward. Even so, I expect you to make some mistakes along the way. That is a part of growing up. When that is the case we will work through it together."
Rubbing lips together. "I never feel punished with you though. Like I mess up, we talk, and there are consequences, then it's done, but this is different than what it used to feel like when I got into trouble as a kid in my past. Back then it was always about shame and I felt so worthless afterward. Now I don't, it's the opposite."
"Why do you think that is?" Hands moved again to continue cleaning up.
Heels swung gently, tapping the cabinets under the sink in thought. "Maybe cause I know what to expect and you're firm, but never yell at me or go outside of what we agreed on." Deeper feelings swirled inside. "I know you love me and want what's best for me, even when I can't see what best is sometimes..." Last night she had been trapped in tunnel vision until Regina helped her process the sequence of events to widen her scope to resolution. She tended to go head first into everything she did with a two step action plan; dive in, sink or swim. Consequences be damned. It was the before and during of those steps she needed help managing and slowly but surely she was learning to.
Brown eyes took in the pensive girl after stashing the caddy of makeup away. "You are thinking loud enough for both of us sweet one, will you share your thoughts some more?"
"Hmmm?" Becoming present. "Yeah, um… I was thinking back to the first talk we had about nature of self and what you get out of our dynamic…" Lashes lowered as dark thoughts took over. 'I wasn't planned. We had no agreements to deal with this version of me and I am such a pain in the ass. Why…'
"Try to be mindful baby, trust yourself to speak without over thinking." Another active listening and speaking component they were working on to help Emma's words not tangle up. Little Emma struggled with this more so it seemed than this version, but the same shut down cues were present; trailing off, loss of eye contact, chopped phrases and fidgeting.
Deep breath. "I was wondering since the spell is done and this was all unplanned, what are you getting out of this?" Gesturing to self. 'Unplanned is unwanted. Gina's a planner, I'm not—'
"Eyes please." Regina stilled the brush through her hair and set it aside to take Emma's twisting hands in one of her own as green returned to focus. "I get to love you in a way that is unmatched and insurmountable, unlike anything I have ever experienced." Placing a palm to Emma's chest. "I get a place in this beautifully big heart of yours in spite of the darkness in mine. I get your love, trust, vulnerabilities, hopes, joys, fears, smiles and tears. I get you Emma."
Sniffing. "But I'm…"
"You are enough." Kissing doubt away.
That simple, yet it wasn't. Emma sat drenched in meaning before starting to wiggle on the countertop. Emotions too big to stay there for long. "We're gonna be late."
Supple, understanding smile and remembering. "Wait here a moment. I have something for you." A quick trip to the bedroom and back, she returned with a yellow zipped cloth bag.
Perking up. "Oohhh, my own makeup bag?" Eager hands took the offered gift.
"Not quite, but you can re-purpose it that way if you want. I stopped off at the pharmacy on my way home from work yesterday and picked up a few things for you."
Emma started to unzip the bag, eyes growing as fast as the natural blush on her cheeks. "Bye bye!" She tossed the bag aside like a hot potato and tried to get off the counter, but two hands on her waist stopped that movement. "Giiinnnaaaaa!"
"We need to take some time to discuss a few things."
Nose wrinkled and arms crossed. "Embarrassing and unnecessary things! I figured out stuff before on my own and I can do it again."
"No, you won't because you don't have to. Like it or not, your health is my responsibility right now." Regina caught the bag Emma tried shoving off the counter with a raised brow and set it between them, opening the top completely. 'This was so much easier with Henry. I had to practically pry him away from the shaving cream and razor aisle at the store with a crowbar when he still only had duck fluff on his upper lip.'
"I can't believe you went to the pharmacy here! For this!?" Pointing to bag as embarrassing visions of Doc the dwarf touching the items inside made her skin prickle. "Everyone knows about this new shift and—OMG I can't ever go in there again. Boycott for life… Bury me now, I'll die!" Hands hid red cheeks.
"Emma, dramatics are not necessary. He was not phased in the least and I'm sure he sees quite a variety of items pass that counter that are way more embarrassing for him than for the person buying them."
Peering through fingers. "Did anyone else we know see you?"
"Emma."
"Seriously! I need to get a ski mask next time I go out in public."
"Would you have rather I took you with me to get these items?"
Blinking. "No that would have been committing social suicide."
"Right." Massaging a temple at the spiraling teenage logic before her.
"Do we haaaave to do this?" Groaning.
"Yes we do and we will be going into Town Hall a bit late today in order to do some shopping that you do need to come with for. You need training—"
"LALALALA!" Emma shoved fingers in ears and snapped her eyes shut. A moment later her hands were taken and she cracked open an eye, deflating at the serious look she was getting. "But I don't neeeeed a bra." Grabbing chest. "There is nothing here to support!"
Regina fought not to crack up at the histrionics, but a gentle smile came anyway. "That is not the purpose of a training bra. You do not have to wear one right now if you do not want to, but that could change as time goes on and I want to have things on hand so you have what you need when that is the case. We'll get a few different sizes while we are out."
It had been spans of decades in two worlds since she'd been Emma's age and she had known little to nothing of this world's milestones for young women. As she had with Henry in the past, a lot of reading over the last few nights had been enlightening and daunting. Rehearsing this conversation had come to mind, but with the events of last night that opportunity had been lost.
Brown eyes found green. "I realize this is a sensitive discussion. That is why I took part of the morning off to have it with you. I suspect no one ever took time to sit and do this with you the first time. Am I correct?"
Dropping hands back into her lap, Emma shrugged rolling her eyes. "Not really, just the typical school segregated lessons on the difference between a vagina and a penis, complete with outdated visuals and props." Grimacing. "One actually had this button to show how sperm worked." Then paling. "Please tell me you don't have a PowerPoint or any horrible brochures about sex I have to look at?"
"Your eyes are safe today." And Regina's widened at Emma's reveal. "They taught you all that in school?"
"Yeah…" Eyes gaining a hint of mischief. "How do you think the kid got the basics of sex before we sat him down for the talk? Remember all those detailed questions he had?" Grinning as it was the Queen's turn to blush. "I swear you were beet red for a week. Little stinker he was kept on asking at the most inconvenient times. Remember the one about erections at the banana display in the grocery store? But my favorite was the one about blue balls in front of Granny at the diner."
Jaw dropped, brows pinched considering. "You put him up to that didn't you?"
"Me!? Nah…" Winking.
"Mmmhhmmm. Back to you my dear."
"Aaawwww… fine."
"It's important to me that you have support, knowledge and the necessary things for what your body will be experiencing again." Deep breath. "Cora never sat me down for the sex talk and she was very adamant that it was not something ladies discussed. My poor father was clueless half the time on how to talk to me about anything, but he tried in his own way."
"But, I don't need that talk. I know what happens and I'm not gonna have sex. Right now that sounds G-R-O-S-S!" Pink tongue stuck out with a head shake.
Smiling softly. "That is good to hear and for the record, sex is not gross. With the right person, when you are much older and ready it can be a beautiful experience and that is not what I am getting at with the talk we need to have. We will save that one for another day as these ears you have need to hear it eventually."
Squirming with some relief. "So what talk today then?"
"I had to figure out the intricacies of becoming a woman mostly on my own and your adult side did too, but you won't this time because I have a say about it. So today, we start with self care and getting you a few training bras." Fishing two items to hold up out of the yellow bag.
Emma nearly choked taking in the packages of pads and tampons made specifically for teenagers. 'OMG this is real. We are actually having this conversation.' One had a picture of a smiling girl wearing a white workout outfit. Rolling eyes found the image asinine.
"When did you get your period the first time?"
'Way to jump right off the high dive into the Red Sea, Gina.' Emma thought and swallowed, croaking. "Thir-teen."
"I figured you would prefer pads at this age and there were a ton of options. Wings or no wings, sizes, different textures so I got you a variety pack, but I was not sure what type of flo—."
Emma nearly popped. Snatching that package and tossing it aside. "You're right. Next!"
A pack of twin blade razors and a small can of shaving cream were held up. "I know you prefer the four blade kind and soap normally, but your skin now is very sensitive so these will work better. You'll have to take your time as your hands are not used to doing that motion and cuts could happen. Be careful." She set those aside and held up the last two items. "Acne wash kit. You have beautiful skin as it is, but hormones can tamper with that, so this will help. And last but not least deodorant for sensitive skin. That one goes without explanation."
Breathing again. "Oh thank you god." Emma dropped her head backwards in mocking prayer. "Please say we are we done?"
Red lips rolled in stifling a laugh. "Almost baby, with this talk. Do you have any questions so far?"
Blonde curls shook rapidly, forehead wrinkling when a roll of measuring tape was summoned.
"Last thing."
Emma hugged herself. "Nuh-huh."
"We need to know your band size unless you remember. Would you rather a stranger at the store measure you for that or me?"
"I never got it checked at this age. Just guessed." Rolling eyes with a gut sigh. "And if I haaave to, then you."
"Then lift your sweater to here for me." Regina brushed a knuckle just above the base of Emma's sternum. She wrapped the tape parallel around pale ribs, joining both halves in front. "28." Emma was naturally petite, but she wondered about getting a check up for the girl at some point. "Alright, take everything to your bathroom and go get your shoes. We need to leave soon for the store."
Righting her top, Emma pouted. "Wait, can we at least go to the outlets on the far side of town? I would D-I-E if I saw anyone I know right now."
"I already planned on it."
"Oh… good." Slipping down from her perch, Emma gathered all the items quickly back in the bag and stalled in the doorway. "Hey Gina…" Catching brown eyes in the mirror. "Thanks for stuff and talking to me." Fidgeting. "And I know you have that reading assignment for me to do later because of last night, but if I have time after can I draw this afternoon?"
"You are most welcome and yes, bring your art kit."
With pep to her step, Emma went to finish getting ready, grabbing her kit, and donning her favorite Converse shoes before heading down stairs. Getting her feet from the car into the outlet store the Benz pulled into a half hour later was much more of a snail crawl. She trailed behind heels into a fairly uncrowded shop. Eyes darted around looking for any familiar faces and sighed with relief when there appeared to be none. Pausing near a rack in the lingerie section she began thumbing through some cute PJ sets that caught her eye. 'This won't be so bad.'
"Emma, what do you think of this?"
Green eyes flicked up to catch Regina trying to get her attention across racks by waving a white bralette like it was a surrendering flag on a battlefield. "Gina." She darted over and snatched the item down.
"No on white then. What about purple?" Grabbing a different one and holding it up to Emma.
Hands ripped that one away too. "Giinaa!"
"Blue?"
"OMG!" Blushing furiously and twisting away. "Rule one of teenage shopping, I pretend I don't know you and you don't know me. Rule two, no holding up stuff where people can see it! Rule three, no holding stuff up to ME!"
Hand to hip. "Check your tone."
A huff. "Sorry."
"Better, thank you." With those wide green eyes looking up at her, it was hard not to see Emma as much younger than she was. "You look here and find some you like. 28 AA or A should work for you, but grab a B to try in case. I'll go through the racks over there." Pointing to the opposite end of the department. "Meet me back by the dressing rooms in ten minutes. Sound alright?"
"Peachy."
Emma ducked down grateful for space and began thumbing the bottom row. There were actually some decent color and cut choices once she let herself start to enjoy the experience. No one had taken her shopping for intimate apparel before this age and she started to feel a little bad about how she'd just treated her Keeper. Hand-me-downs or a pack of Hanes were the only things in the past tossed her way. While they worked fine, she'd never been given choices. Hands ran over many of them now, and selected a dozen or so range of colors and prints. She found Regina at the dressing room area and slipped into a stall to try on the three different sizes. The B was too big and she dropped down to the smallest of AA.
"Do any of them fit?"
Emma rolled her eyes at the muffled voice on the other side of the door. "Yeah, I think the AA, maybe." Biting a lower lip. It felt ok, but… Turning to see the back in the mirror. "I don't know, sure."
"Would you like some help?"
"Not really..." Though, the sooner she figured this out the sooner they could leave. "Fine. Come in." She undid the lock and crossed her arms as Regina slipped in.
"Turn and let me see." At the twirling motion, Emma dropped arms and spun once quickly. She hooked a finger at the top of a blue strap and shook her head at the overall snug fit. "The band looks right, but the rest is much too tight, try the A." Regina turned back to the door to give privacy, waiting until Emma said she was ready before turning again. "That is much better. How does it feel?"
Wiggling shoulders and swinging her arms, Emma nodded. "It's weird and it bugs me kind of. Like a harness, but good." The color she had on flattered her skin tone and she started eyeing the pile on the hook now with want. These were brand new and well made. It would be hard to pick just one. She reached to begin sorting through them.
"Try a training corset and suffocating layers of crinoline, those were pure torture. You couldn't breathe in the corsets and often had to sleep in them. Very uncomfortable." Chuckling at the grimace Emma gave. "Pick which ever ones you like and grab some in a size up. I'll meet you out here when you are finished."
"Wait. Like more than one?" She'd been lucky in the past just to have one, maybe two at most.
"Of course." Pausing at the door. "Next time you are this size, we will do a proper shopping trip. You need more than just conjured or adjusted clothing. Things you pick and would enjoy wearing." Cupping a wandering chin. "I want to give you all the experiences you should have had, those firsts, and just like the other parts, you are deserving of love, attention, and the best I can give you." She rubbed a small circle along a cheek, before kissing that same spot and leaving through the cracked door.
Emma moved to pick out what she wanted from the pile as she considered Regina's words. Like she had in another life when they had gone shopping the first time for her six year old side she looked in the mirror and really assessed herself. Still on the short and skinny side, body a straight wash yet to have curves she knew would come. More scattered scars than six. Eyes deeper, thicker veils to hide behind, but already softer than she remembered them being the first time around. With a sigh she redressed and picked two bras and one in a larger size and joined Regina outside of the dressing rooms.
Brown eyes assessed what Emma had and shook her head. "Those are not enough Emma. You need three times that. Let me see the other pile you were going to put back." Regina picked four more in the correct size and another two in the one up to put in shocked girls arms.
"But… it's a lot." Suddenly remembering the breakfast purchase the other day too.
"You need a variety."
Emma scuffed her shoe, wanting to cross her arms, but couldn't. "I'll pay you back when I'm big again."
Wrinkled brow. "Is that what you are worried about?"
Nodding. "You paid for everything in the spell and I know it wasn't real money, but here it is and I have my own… just not on me right now."
"If you feel that strongly about it we will discuss it when you are big again. Until then, let me take care of you." Taking the items from overflowing arms.
Emma shifted from foot to foot, but allowed Regina to take everything up to the register to pay. She eyed the total and made a mental note and tried to remember what her half of breakfast had been yesterday, when a bag made it into her arms. "Thanks. I mean it. I'm giving you back every cent."
"We will discuss it later." Regina wrapped an arm around hunched shoulders. "Baby, I enjoy doing this for you. It gives me great pleasure to be able to provide you with things you need, even things you want. I have plenty stashed away and then some. Try not to worry so much, alright?"
Shoulders dropped as they walked out to the car. "I'm just not used to money being spent on me is all."
"You have never had money really spent on you, from what you've told me anyway. I want and need to do this for you." She clicked the button on her keys, popping the trunk and Emma stashed the bag.
"I didn't think about it like that or how it fit into what you get out of this." Remembering now their talk long ago about the need to nurture and she wanted to respect that. "I'll try to let you. Thank you for these."
"My pleasure, sweet one."
The drive to town hall was quick and Emma spent the rest of the morning on the reading assignment, a thick bundle of articles with questions to answer after reading each one. After an hour her head hurt and she begged a break to do some drawing as they finished their lunch.
"You may, though I have a feeling you would rather work on this." Regina stood from the sofa to get rid of their take out containers and returned with a thin folder.
"More papers?" Emma frowned as she was handed the folder, mouth gaping when she actually opened it. "These are…"
"Name change papers." Regina smiled as the girl processed. "Once you fill them out, we will go to the bank and have them notarized, then we can submit them. I have a lawyer in Boston—" Pausing as arms nearly choked her.
"I know you meant it, but it's like happening, for real! I get to share your name!" For a moment she couldn't breathe. The reality of what that meant made her heart pound with excitement and then something much darker. After everything they'd been through, after everything she'd done… Regina still wanted her, was still here… She shook the dark voice off and squeezed the Queen harder.
Returning the hug and adding a kiss. "And Henry's, yes dear heart."
"I wanna do these now."
When she'd requested this from the Queen after her tears a few days ago, a long forgotten piece of her heart had doubt it would actually become a reality. Too many broken promises had been made to her, but never one by her Keeper. Choosing her name, this name, to be hers further solidified that they were a family and she couldn't wait until it was real.
Regina summoned Emma's special hand grip and a pen from the table across the room. "Then you may. We will stop by the bank on the way home."
As her girl began to complete the papers, with some help and additional summoned personal identification effects belonging to Emma, Regina took the stack of articles and questions to read through the teen's answers. She was glad to note they were well done and thoughtful, making a few corrections and clarifications in ink for them to go over later. Another few hours of equal effort and Emma would be finished with the lesson she assigned. Returning to her own work as Emma finished the name change papers, the Queen thoughtfully looked up at the blonde on occasion, seeing the ease return to a pale face as the charcoals were brought out, wondering what the drawing was of.
Hours later as they were packing up for the day, a familiar tingle pulsed through Emma returning her to adult state. She happily stretched her full sized limbs, grinning back at her Keeper. "Guess this means I can stay up for that Star Wars marathon on TV tonight after all."
"It does and since you are an adult you can be on popcorn duty." The Mayor had full intentions of enjoying that time with Emma.
"Awwww, no fair! The air popper never works as good for me as it does for you." Whining despite her size as they walked to the car.
"All you have to do is press the button, the machine does the rest."
"I know, but still… it tastes better when you make it."
Getting the papers notarized was a quick affair and the conversation had with the clerk about keeping the Savior's personal business quiet went unsaid. Dark eyes sweeping over the man was enough to ensure privacy. Once home Regina readied the papers with copies of the appropriate identification for mailing. Her lawyer was easily coaxed into completing things very quickly when the correct amount of zeros in a check accompanied it.
Emma went to put her art kit away upstairs and quick feet returned wearing leggings and Regina's own plaid shirt, never having returned the garment she'd borrowed. Grabbing the phone she ignored that day from the foyer, Emma thumbed through her texts, returning one to David and Henry. Frowning when she didn't see what she expected at the end of her text feed. Making her way to the study, she knocked on the open door, catching brown eyes before entering.
Holding up her phone. "Snow hasn't tried to text or call since the loft. I just realized that." Shoulders slumped with confusion. 'Isn't that what I wanted?' Emma's thoughts circled as she sank onto the couch. 'Space to breathe and not deal with her?'
Regina set the envelope aside and leaned thoughtfully against her desk. "Do you remember when the curse broke and how desperate I was to get to Henry, to reach him when he wanted space from me?"
Blonde curls bounced in acknowledgement.
"Snow and I, at least that woman I was years ago, are not that different in regards to that point." Regina saw the flash of disbelief and then of confusion pass over green eyes. "Back then it took some time for me to realize that in my attempts to draw Henry closer I was pushing him farther away. I had to let him go so I could do the necessary work on myself to be a healthy parent for him." Clarifying and moving to sit near the Savior.
"But you're not her and this is different, Gina."
"Is it really?" Pushing back against the wall Emma had up. "How?"
Fumble with nothing. "It just is."
"Hhhmmm." Regina took a pale fist that had balled and eased open that hot palm, massaging the center with her thumb. "I think Snow finally realizes on some level what she's been doing."
Listening intently as her other hand was attended to, Emma began to relax. "I don't get how she just now suddenly understands that. I've been telling her for years."
"You did not see her face or hear her when she attempted to explain what had happened in the loft when you had that black out. I know some of what she must have been feeling because I was in her shoes for a time. By trying to get close to you, she has pushed you away and you have a tendency to run from anyone reaching to know you, especially when they've hurt you." Shifting between considering green eyes. "When she was just Mary-Margaret she couldn't hurt your heart, but when she became Snow, the woman who gave you life, that changed things significantly."
"Yeah, it did." Emma pondered those words and wondered if she was self sabotaging her chance at a connection with Snow by avoiding the woman as she has been since their return and even before then. Maybe it was time for another sit down, maybe with just the three of them. "Do you think we could all talk again? I want to begin to try with her like I said I would, as a friend."
"We can do that, but I don't know if my being there will help or hinder your efforts." Regina shifted, accepting a blonde head in her lap as Emma curled up on the couch.
"It will help because you won't let me hide or run from what I need to say or let me be a jerk doing it. The first time we all talked in the loft was good, it opened a door for her to hear me, but I don't need you to defend me this time like I did before. I need to start doing better at communicating in a way she can understand and using the strategies we created to get through tough conversations when they don't go my way." Now realizing she may have more responsibility for the rift between them than she thought.
Fine fingers stroked loose curls. "Well said and a reasonable goal to set for yourself, my girl."
Emma smiled softly at the praise and at the willingness inside to try one more with Snow.
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A/N - Please review and thanks!
Next time - Adult Emma asks for stress relief and a chat with Snow follows.
