A/N - Feels ahead. Fan art for chapter on my Tumblr.

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The rest of the week Emma remained her adult size during the day with a few short lived shifts in the evenings. Returning to work consistently during the day felt empowering and with Will's additional help, now that he was trained brought relief to a workload Emma hadn't realized was there before. She willingly accepted that he was needed and between his addition and the Mayor's secretary taking on some of the filing for the station things were running smoother than they ever had before. The level of work related stress was lessening and she enjoyed her time at the station. Between that and researching the old spell book for answers about her random shrinking, time had flown by.

Henry and Paige were now home in Boston from their honeymoon and confirmed their plans to spend Christmas in Storybrooke at the mansion. Emma was looking forward to another holiday like the one she'd experienced in their alternate reality and now only a little over a week away. More so time with just family to relax and reconnect. The prize of it all would be time with her Keeper, away from the duties of town and life.

They had set up a time on Saturday afternoon to talk with Snow when David had plans to take Neal out Christmas shopping. Emma's nerves were thinning over the broaching meeting. She'd almost asked for a stress relief session upon waking, but held back. Her Keeper had also been stressed the last week, she was sure, over the talk with Gold and something else that was left unsaid. The blonde hadn't pried as she was prone to do, trying to give respectful space where it seemed to be needed and didn't want to add to that by asking for something she knew took a lot out of them. Though the effects of not dealing with her stress by asking for relief was not helping either. She found herself moody and trying to behave, but struggling to maintain the attention to detail needed to stay out of trouble.

Regina could see the anxiety building over the course of the week in her girl with little things like tone, body language, and inattention. She was patient to a point, but was losing it the morning of the scheduled talk as Emma questioned her instructions again for the third time in ten minutes. Tapping fingers on top of a stack of half finished articles, she put her hand on her hip regarding the sullen blonde across the kitchen counter.

"If you had started when I asked you earlier instead of arguing with me, you'd be nearly through an article by now."

Scowling. "Why can't I just do it later after we get home from Snow's?" Not understanding the request to finish the assigned reading she'd been given from her teenage misadventures earlier that week. She'd been unable to finish the darn thing since she'd grown because of work during the day.

"For a few reasons, one being you told me days ago you'd do it this morning if you could have the week to focus on returning to work and the other because it is part of your consequence for the choices you made." Pushing the articles and a pencil with grip back to the irritated Savior before softening her tone. "Also because I know how you tend to be after a talk with Snow and you will be in no condition to attempt this then, no matter how well it goes which this time I think it will."

Emma grabbed the pencil reluctantly. "I hate it when you're right." Grumbling as she found where she left off.

"Then that must be quite often." Regina teased with a smile.

The blonde worked as the Queen cleaned the kitchen, noting how the brunette seemed to sense she needed the proximity she couldn't voice. A mug of tea was placed at her side an hour later as she finished the last question and dropped the pencil.

"All done?" Regina sat on the stool next to Emma and skimmed last few papers, noting the answers were of the same quality as earlier in the week. "Next time you are size again we will go over the answers together. Thank you for finishing this."

Emma warmed at that, dropping her chin in palm after sipping the tea. She let the hint of added honey roll on her tongue and needing the sweetness at her next words. "I think I need a stress relief session and I've tried to deal with how I feel on my own for a few days now, but… I just didn't want to bug you with it."

"I suspected as much and it is never a bother Emma."

Green eyes noted the label on the tea bag she was fiddling with; Calm Chamomile and smiled softly at how well she was understood. "But you're tired and stressed too, I can tell, even when you think I can't."

"I have been, though less so today." Regina tasted her hot drink with a nod. The spell she had been crafting to give Emma back some control over the shifts had taken some of her energy, but it was nearing completion. Thinking through Emma's words some more, she realized they needed to have another conversation. "Have you ever considered that those sessions are a way for me to relieve stress as well?"

"Yeah, kind of. I know what it does for me inside and I can see the effects on you after we do one, but is there more?" The idea had crossed her mind, and every time it had didn't feel like the right time to ask. There had been well over a dozen such sessions between them over the years, most at Emma's request, and each time after her Keeper seemed calmer, tranquil even for a long time after.

"It gives us a chance to reconnect, to get to the primary root of what it is that we are to each other. Balance is reestablished between us and sometimes I need to simply be in full control without our customary banter, especially when I feel unable to control my current environment and sometimes you just need to give in without your usual fight." Wrapping an arm around her girl. "Then there is seeing your bright eyes looking up at me when we finish, so open and loving. You get this peace about you I'd do anything to keep there."

"That's beautiful Gina." Emma laid her head against her Keeper's shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you before exactly what you got out of it."

"I could have easily told you, though I think you knew already."

Emma nodded at that truth. She'd had known, but had no words to describe it before now. "Can we please, before we go see Snow? And can we do a little percussive with music to start with?"

"I would like that."

A half grin graced a pink mouth and Emma took her Keeper's hand. Regina stood and led the blonde upstairs to the master suite, needing to hold space in her own domain. She took her time settling against the middle of the headboard before instructing Emma over her knee. Unlike a reminder session where she always began with asking Emma why they were there, that was not needed. The reason and goal were always the same. That lithe frame dove across her lap and she took care to make sure Emma was comfortable, no limbs dangling and with a pillow. These sessions were not about discomfort and though there would inevitably be some, it was always about ritual, connecting, and balance.

"Are you comfortable Emma?"

"Heck yeah! Let's get this show on the road…" Eager to feel better, her first response slipped out. A gentle hand squeezing her shoulder reminded that this was a time for softer words and respect. "Yes, Ma'am… I'm comfortable."

Regina stroked soft tresses, running her nails on a pale scalp. The blonde was practically purring and she laughed softly at how cat like Emma was in moments like these. Since it had been nearly a year, including the spelled reality, since their last stress relief session she felt obligated to ask. "What is my expectation of you right now?"

"To let you lead me where I need to go."

"Good girl." She felt Emma sink into her at that affection and she rewarded those relaxed shoulders with nimble fingers that worked the muscles briefly to relax before peeling the layers of fabric away. These sessions were always bare from start to finish, nothing between the receiver and giver.

Emma shivered as the cool air and a warm hand swept over her skin; the contrast waking the need inside her to let go and to give up control freely to the one person who knew how to wield it over her. Faint music from hidden speakers began and she recognized the melody, an old favorite of a purely instrumental version of Rihanna's Skin. Two royal palms began to move in a hand over hand fashion rhythmically on flesh, dusting the surface of alabaster in tune to the beat. Far gentler yet just as authoritative, a warm up for cool skin. She was never granted a warm up for reminders, but always for these sessions, ones that grew with intensity as they went. She was a tightly stretched drum being softly played by hands that knew how to ease the tension well.

Regina painted the pale canvas shades of pink that blended to a rosy blush over the course of several minutes, a slow and heady buzz building for both of them. As Emma sighed with relaxed contentment, she took her pace and strength up a notch, just barely, but enough for fingers to twitch on the bed spread and toes to curl one by one. The music faded a minute later and she shifted to wrap her left arm around a slim waist, pulling Emma closer as her hand began to take the blonde far from the present.

Another level up with skin ringing brought the walls down brick by brick in Emma's mind as she visualized herself opening for release. Hips were wiggling now in discomfort and an arm wrapped around them kept her close and still, the warm up clearly over and broaching into a deeper space only they occupied. The worries of the world fell away as her skin began glow, and saltwater brimmed blonde lashes as the pace was set. Emma focused on breathing as she'd been taught and sweaty hands fisted the duvet, now wet with her tears. Yet the hand did not stop. She knew it wouldn't until she gave all of herself; to break open in such a way that she became whole again over that knee.

Built up emotions pushed from pores, and breathing gut deep. Two words escaped. "P-please Ginaaa…"

Regina upped her strength a fraction at the plea. Her palm stung as did the skin she worked. "Let go for me Emma."

Obeying, Emma went limp and did the only thing she could; cry. The hand guiding her slowed, but did not lessen, ensuring the tears continued. When sobs turned into acceptance with no wiggles left the only sound was their breathing. The blonde floated on wave after wave of relief soothing her mind, limbs noodles as she tried to move them. She curled inward, drawing her knees under her and rolling onto her side, head in her Keeper's lap facing the Queen. Calming down was easier with a regal hand cupping her cheek and one stroking her hair.

"Thank y-you. I really needed that."

"Me too." Regina bent to brush a kiss to damp hair catching the green eyes focusing on hers and the beauty of trust rich within. They stayed that way watching each other as hearts slowed and the room grew cool around them.

Emma yawned feeling incredibly present with fresh yet sleepy eyes that fluttered as they often did after a session like this. Mind at peace and endorphins filling her veins brought on a much needed nap. As she dozed off she heard the faint traces of humming, their song leading her ear to sleep.

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Waking after such a deep rest was a rude experience and Emma dragged herself to the shower to get ready after being woken a few hours later. As hot water made trails on her skin the ghost sting from their session surfaced bringing blood up to skin level, irritating the still pink flesh. Emma ran her hands over the buzzing, kneading the muscle to relax and deciding that wearing jeans then and there was out. She let the water take the last bit of tension down the drain and moved quicker to clean up.

Wrapped in a towel, damp feet padded across the hall and after rummaging through her clothes found a pair of soft wool leggings and a long white sweater, socks and boots followed, comfort hugging her skin. Leaving her hair loose, she hurried downstairs and found the Queen in the foyer with a brilliant smile in greeting. Emma lived for that look and returned it with one of her own.

"How are you feeling, dear heart?"

"Sore, but really good. You?"

"The same." Regina shook out her hand for emphasis, brow arched at the blonde's amused look.

"What can I say? All those squats and lunges I used to do paid off. Buns of steel!" She slipped on her jacket and held out the black pea coat for the Queen.

"Speaking of exercise, your uniforms for the martial arts class should arrive by Monday and you may start classes then, if you'd like."

Emma bounced once. "That'd be awesome!" Then hesitated. "Will you still come watch sometimes, if I'm big?"

"I'd love too and we may have dinner out after your first class as a treat."

The car ride was quiet and Emma fidgeted nervously in the front seat, more so when the Benz rolled to a stop outside of the loft. A deep sigh escaped and another as the car was shut off. Regina made no move to exit, waiting for Emma to be ready.

"Okay, I got this." Emma coached as fingers released the buckle of her seat belt. Then just a quick. "No… I don't got this. Gina this was a bad idea." Now, snapping it back into place, as if it would anchor her from the waves crashing against the rocks protecting her heart.

"Emma, look at me."

Green eyes snapped shut.

"Emma."

Blonde curls shook.

"One… Two…"

Opening and meeting her match, knowing better than to hide, the Savior sighed. "Sorry."

"You are ready for this."

Deflating. "But what if I'm not? I could before, so easily go in there and spout off what I felt. Why is this so different now?"

Never one for subtlety when something hard to hear needed to be said Regina cupped Emma's cheek. "Because now she is ready to listen and there is a part of you that never thought that would happen. The ball is in your court now. This is your serve, sweet one, and I'm right here to support you."

Emma bit her lip nodding and taking another breath undid her seat belt again. They walked hand in hand up the walkway, upstairs and stopped before the rough door. Green eyes sought brown for one more push.

"Trust yourself and the words will come."

A pale fist knocked and the door opened a moment later. Snow smiled softly, hesitating as if it might not be wanted and invited them inside. Emma looked around the space, stiffening as the memory of the last time she was there came back. She acknowledged it for what it was and tucked it back away. Right now she was an adult, Regina was with her, and no harm would follow. As she self assured, coffee was offered and taken for distraction to open the floor for niceties. The three generations of women sat at the round table, a perfect triangle.

Snow sat rigidly, expecting to be led to a slaughter for her actions the last time they had all be in the same room together. She waited for Emma to start, determined not to interrupt her daughter and to show respect to the woman that sat between them. Regina was the reason, she'd come to realize, Emma was even willing to be in the same room with her. Her daughter's opening words gave her heart pause.

"I think I blamed you for my past and our current relationship because it was easy." Emma shifted forward in her seat, nails raking the tops of her leggings. "If I learned anything from the spell Regina cast for me, and there was a ton of learning, it's that there are many sides to a story and sometimes mine isn't the only one to tell or that needs telling. Sometimes I have to let others have their say even when it is not what I want to hear. Your experience deserves the same respect I'd like to get in return." She swallowed at the look of pride coming from her Keeper and braved the green eyes across from her. "And, if you are willing, I'd like to hear yours?"

Jaw gaping, Snow stuttered, ready for anything but that question. "I—I'm not sure what to say." She had been prepared to be yelled at, told off for what she had done and to beg for her daughter's forgiveness. Not this open and understanding perspective coming from Emma.

Regina, despite the sincerity, internally rolled her eyes, thinking, 'That is a first.' Still she offered a helpful opening. "Perhaps start from the night of the curse. You two have not really talked about it in detail and that is your beginning." Emma squirmed beside her and she eyed the blonde with a small head tilt to encourage active listening ears as the Princess spoke.

"I was terrified... You were so small and crying. Your fist wouldn't let my finger go..." Snow began to weave the night she wanted to forget; all of it, the terror, the fighting, the curse blowing through the castle, the loss and heartbreak. "…And you were gone. I carried you under my heart for all those months only to hold you for a moment and I never wanted to let you go. I did what I thought I had to do to keep you safe and ensure your destiny as the Savior of the kingdom. That killed me inside. It still kills me, but I had to Emma."

As much as those words hurt, from the woman who gave her life no less, it was Snow's experience. The next words didn't choke Emma as much as she thought they would. "I believe you. I didn't before, but I believe that you did what you felt you had to do to save everyone… It still hurts, but it's your truth and I respect that."

Snow chewed her inner cheek, making sure Emma was finished before continuing. "You need to know that while I would do it all again, once we woke up from the curse I would have gone about things much differently. I wouldn't have tried to force a relationship between us you were not ready for. I would have let you come to me. Once I realized who you were I just wanted to connect with you in that special way mothers and daughters have. I am so sorry for pushing you and trying to be a mother when you needed me more as your friend."

Emma blinked back tears, nodding. "I did need you as my friend and I felt I lost that when the only world I knew exploded in my face and you suddenly wanted me to call you mom while I was still coping with the idea that you were all fairy tale characters from another world filled with magic." Green lingered on the untouched coffee between palms. "My mind kind of cracked that day and it was too much to process all at once. And things just kept coming like portals to other worlds, fighting villains, learning I had magic all while trying to learn how to be a daughter I thought I never be and a mother to Henry. I had some bad habits that took over through all that stress and I know I was not easy to deal with when those got out of hand. I didn't feel like I could talk to you like we used to before the curse and then it became easier not to rip open old wounds."

"You seem to be doing better though with managing your stress and drinking. Regina is helping you?" Snow hesitated, wanting to understand, but still on shaky ground.

"I am doing much better." Glancing at her Keeper then back to the nervous woman. "Regina and I have a good system in place, especially since the accident and it works for us." Emma studied Snow and decided now was the time to open up a bit more with an encouraging nod from Regina. "You can ask us about it if you want. I can't promise you answers to everything, but we are willing to give you some insight on our relationship. I just ask you respect our responses if they are not what you want to hear."

Hopeful at the grace being shown, Snow leaned forward eagerly. "I do have a few questions… Uh, you said you don't label what this… relationship is, but what exactly is it? I'm not sure how to ask that another way."

Emma nibbled on her upper lip briefly. "Well, it varies, especially if I'm small or not, but it is primarily based on my needs for accountability, direction and to belong to someone who understands me…" Faltering and looking for help.

"Alongside mine to nurture, guide, and for control." Regina stepped in on cue as Emma released a grateful sigh. "We have mutual agreements and rules to ensure a healthy relationship where we each get our needs met. There is open communication with a system of checks and balances if there is a breach or lapse on either side."

"So, is that system you have… Is that what happened that evening in the graveyard with what David saw and on the porch when you came outside talking about a timeout when we came to check on you Emma?"

Blushing. "Yeah… I screwed up and Regina set me straight. I knew my actions were wrong and I feel a lot of guilt and self loathing when that is the case. How we handle it, helps relieve that in a huge way for me. When I'm small my behaviors are harder to control and I'm really impulsive. My emotions and actions are the age my body is for the most part."

"Will you explain what happened between you exactly? I'm not trying to pry or embarrass you. I am just trying to understand this better." Realizing this was sensitive for her daughter and to ease her mind over the visions in her head. Google was not helpful when she had tried looking up information on what this relationship possibly was and she gave up after nights of searching for something she didn't understand. Better to just ask the source and see.

"Gina can you take that one?" A plea to explain as words became tangled inside.

"Sure. Yes Snow, that is what happened. Emma did something she knew better than to do and that put her safety at risk." Shifting as the room grew warm. While she and Emma had agreed to shine light on certain aspects of their relationship in hopes of educating, actually having the conversation about a private piece of their life wasn't easy for her. "Actions have consequences and when Emma makes certain choices we talk and corrective action follows. Sometimes natural, sometimes physical."

It was Snow's turn to redden. "By physical you mean you spank her?"

"I do."

A very long pause as eyes darted back and forth between the women. "And Emma, you're okay with that?"

Rubbing her face and trying to meet those staring eyes. "Yep, I already told you that. I need it. And it's not always for when I do something wrong. It's amazing what a good cry will do for stress relief."

"Wait." Struggling to process the visual in her head, Snow licked her lips. "So this happens when you're an adult, too?"

Shrugging as words returned. "Doesn't matter what size I am that need doesn't go away and we spend a lot of time communicating very clearly before, during, and after on that." There was a freedom in voicing how she felt about this to another person that was unexpected and Emma sat up straighter, suddenly proud of herself. "And now that you have some answers I need to close this door right now."

"Of course." Snow blinked rapidly and tried to refocus on the main reason they were there as she gave her eyes back to Emma.

"I meant what I said when we all last talked about forgiving you and wanting us to have a better relationship. I realize I have some responsibility for how far off track we have gotten and I'm sorry for how distant I've been." A shaking breath in then out, she continued. "I will share the reasons why another time, but I want you to know I'm working hard to put them behind me."

Regina was beyond proud of how far Emma had come. Throat solid with feeling, she looked away briefly to keep her emotions in check as Snow responded.

"I never wanted us to be so fragmented and I'm sorry for not respecting your choices and your need for space. I'm working on doing better with that." The week without calling or texting her daughter for a response had been horrible and she fought the need to keep reaching out while she learned to let Emma approach her.

"Thank you." Emma dropped her head, fingers toying with the coffee mug.

"Can I ask you something else? If you don't want to talk about it or answer I promise to respect that."

Blinking hard and focusing on that offer. "Yeah, go ahead."

Snow wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to her next question, but she needed to know. "Why Regina for your second chance spell and not us?"

It took a full minute for Emma to remember to breathe. "I…"

The Queen reached a hand under the table and her girl's quickly came to rest there.

"There were a few reasons." Emma's voice gaining strength as she tried again to trust herself. "I didn't want to share you with Neal and even though it wasn't our real life, I didn't want to take him from you just so I could have you to myself. It's selfish in a way, but I needed to be selfish, to be someone's main focus for once in my life and with Henry grown and how well Regina knows me. This," squeezing her Keeper's hand, "made sense. And I couldn't do that with you."

Waiting to be sure her daughter was finished. "Oh Emma… that's not selfish, not at all." Snow whispered.

A tight smile. "And… because our relationship was so rocky. To get what I needed out of the spell the little girl in me had to learn how to trust again and me, too. I already have that with Regina and I knew I could get there again in the spell with her."

Just as Snow's truth had hurt, Emma's truth burned, but both needed to be said. They stared at each other for the first time with some understanding and the beginnings of respect for the other's experience.

"You got what you needed too then from the spell, really and truly, with Regina?" A question without edges or judgment.

Emma's lips hinted upwards, and eyes passed over the silent Queen at her side. "Yeah, I did and little me did." Thoughts brushed over her new third part and trusted that eventually they would get there with that version too.

Snow's eyes blurred, tears slipping, and she regarded her former enemy; the woman who had killed her father, who had cursed them all for a chance at a happy ending. She in turn had stolen a secret, and killed the brunette's mother. Each at fault and each redeemed through Emma.

And Emma had paid the price for both of them.

At the loft last week when her daughter had cried out for Mama, Snow held out in brief hope that the word had been for her. When it was clear that it was not so, something inside let go. Emma was not the baby she and Charming put in the tree. She was not their little Princess and clearly did not wish to be and Snow realized it was unfair to expect it of her. She hoped to get to know the woman her daughter had become, be friends again as they once had been and if it wasn't too late, to get to know the other parts of Emma as well.

"I wish it would have been me Emma, I will always want that, but I'm grateful you got the chance you needed to feel loved… as a child." Wet eyes found the Queen who also had tears brimming. "Thank you for being that for her, when I couldn't be." The affectionate title she wouldn't say, that price still too much and was one she was not sure she would ever be able to give.

Red lips parted then closed, words couldn't express what she felt. Instead Regina reached to take two pale hands into her own. Emma took Snow's free one and for the first time they were all connected.

Emma smiled and sniffed hard, dipping her head to wipe an eye on her sweater sleeve. "Look at the mess we are." Trying to lighten the heaviness in the room. "Um, Henry and Paige are coming for Christmas and we are thinking of hosting a brunch at the mansion." Her eyes flicked to Regina in question and receiving a nod to confirm, continued. "Do you think you guys would want to come for a few hours that morning?"

Snow's heart swelled. "We'd love to… Can we bring anything?" Very aware of the weight that invitation carried and the beginnings of trust it took to ask.

"That cheese quiche you make so well." Emma smiled and softened with the need to voice one more thing. "And an open mind, please. I don't know how I will wake up that morning, size wise, and it's sometimes hard to control my emotions. I'll need you to be patient and respectful of our relationship. I'm not going to hide what we have or mask it for anyone. We deserve to be ourselves." Eyes flicked to the Queen and back again, lips rolling in, half expecting rejection to the boundary she'd defined.

"I can do that; I will do my best to do that. Please just tell me if I overstep and I'll give you space." She'd try with she had, error on her part for this first get together could not be afforded.

"That's all I ask. Thank you." There was more to say, much more, but for another time.

They stayed a bit longer talking of inconsequential things and Regina was the one to close the conversation, noting the weary look on the blonde's face. As they stood to go Emma willingly accepted a hug from Snow and much as the ride to the loft had been quiet the one going home matched. Heads and hearts full. The adult Emma was vanished inside their home behind the safety of the strong white walls and in the Queen's open arms as the tingle swept through leaving her six years old.

Regina half expected a change in size, due to the heavy emotions of the day. That was one pattern she had grown to observe. "Let's go upstairs for a bit. How does our book and the rocker sound?"

"The best Mama." Their little piece of heaven was exactly what she needed.

She kicked off her boots and followed upstairs to the lavender room, fetching her blanket and their book as her Keeper settled into the rocker. Emma crawled up, resting her head under the Queen's chin as the blanket was laid over their legs and the book opened. As the lyrical prose of Jules Verne floated between them the blonde hoped the words of the day were sufficient to see them through. There was more to heal, more to say, but today the promise of hope and the love she was cradled in was enough.

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A/N - My vacation is over so I will be back to max twice a week posts, usually mid week and the weekend. Hope you liked this chapter.

Next time - Henry and Paige visit, Christmas Eve, and Emma inadvertently pulls one of Regina's known triggers which is very different than one of Emma's.