Chapter 19: The Hospital
Two days went by and nothing remotely exciting happened. There were no G Corp men trying to take back Kazuya, no suspicious activity from the nurses and doctors that worked at the hospital, no nothing. As for Kazuya's condition, it had not improved, but it also hadn't worsened. Jin had stared at the monitor keeping tabs on Kazuya's vitals until he thought he would go crazy. They hadn't so much as moved from the room in all that time. Jin might walk around the hospital and Jun might take a few strolls around the outside, but nothing more than that.
They practically lived at the hospital. All the time, Jin would keep asking himself whether or not his father might wake or if he might stay this way for an eternity. It was starting to look more like the latter. The doctor was unable to tell them anything definitive. Coma was never a thing a doctor could be specific about. At the very least, he wasn't brain dead. His bandages were changed regularly, but they did not heal as fast as the doctors said they would. His entire body seemed to be at a standstill. The doctor told them that probably all of his energy was being put towards fighting the infection in his blood. Jun wondered if they should do blood transfusion, but the doctor said it was a last resort if all else didn't work. Blood transfusion wasn't 100%. The infection could still be there even with new blood.
"What if he wakes up?" Jin asked one night to his mother.
"Well then, he wakes up."
"What would you do, I mean?" He was looking at nothing in particular as he sat next to the hospital bed staring at the opposite wall.
Jun shook her head. "I don't know."
"You mean, you haven't thought about it?"
"It's best not to get your hopes up. He might never wake."
"I know, but what if…"
"Yes, yes, what if. Jin, who knows if he'll even recognize me if he wakes?"
"Why wouldn't he?"
"It's complicated."
"Well, I have all the time in the world."
"Since I have nothing better to do, I'll explain." Jun then explained to him what she had been doing since his departure from their secluded home. How she learned of Kazuya's fractured soul, how she had found all the fragments and how one of them had sacrificed itself destroying an evil spirit that had since the day Jin was born wanted to possess him, and how the one that had been lost was the part that had loved her.
"You mean…" Jin began with surprise. "It's just gone just like that? He won't recognize you at all? But I don't get it, he knew about you. We talked about you before, he still cared. In fact, he told me to tell you something if he didn't make it."
Now it was Jun's turn to be surprised. "He did? Me specifically?"
"Yes," Jin nodded.
"Well, what was it?"
"I can't say. Not if he can say it himself when he wakes."
"Jin—
"Mom, I have to keep believing that he will be alright."
"Fine," Jun said. "I'll know one way or the other. It must be true then—his mind still knows, but I'm sure it won't be the same."
"Why not?" Jin asked.
"You're too young to understand. You've never…loved someone like that."
Jin frowned at this. "So. Isn't that where it starts? Don't you have to know that you love someone in order for there to be anything further?"
"No, it doesn't have to be like that. Sometimes you can love someone and not understand why."
"So you don't understand. You'd still know, right?"
"It's not the same."
"Aren't we just splitting hairs? Just the knowledge, that's all you need."
"Oh, Jin. There's more to it than that."
"Let me ask you this: When you talk about the heart, how someone feels—isn't that not governed by what someone thinks?"
"Yes, but…"
"It'd be pretty difficult to distinguish between what someone feels and what someone thinks. One begets the other. If the mind knows, wouldn't the heart know as well?"
"Jin, are you turning into some kind of a philosophist?"
"I was just…thinking out loud."
"No, it's fine. I see what you're getting at. Maybe it won't be as bad as I'm making it out to be, but thinking about it won't let me know any more than I know now. I'll just have to wait and see."
"You still haven't told me, though. What would you do if he woke?"
"I still don't know. I'd rather he saw you first. No need to shellshock him on the first go. Then maybe you can mention me and I might say something. Hopefully, he might say something…." Jun shrugged then. "Truth is, I really don't know what to say. It's been a long time. Too long, in fact. I don't know where I stand with him."
"I'm sure he doesn't know either. He told me, in so many words, that you'd be angry, that he couldn't just show up after so many years and you just welcome him with open arms."
"Really? He said that?" Jun said with a grin. "I guess he'd be right. I would be pissed, beyond pissed with him if he'd simply shown up like that with no explanation."
"And now?" Jin asked a little worried.
"Well, he didn't get a chance to do the showing up. That'll be me doing that—and if I know Kazuya at all, he wouldn't care how long it'd been. I mean, I don't think he'd care…"
Jun was still sitting at a distance from the hospital bed and Jin. Her voice was always just loud enough for Jin to hear but not too loud that any eavesdropper outside could hear. She sat back in her chair for what felt like the millionth time since she'd gotten there. She would make herself comfortable one way and then would eventually have to sit another way to achieve the same comfort.
"The way I see it—you're both worried about how the other would react and neither one of you know just how you would in the first place." The beginnings of a grin played on Jin's features.
"You find this amusing, don't you?" Jun asked situating herself different once again on the chair. "Bringing a family back together is a tall order. Even now, I'd say you were lucky. People's feelings don't always stay the same and most people have a good reason for why they break up—that reason is usually because the feelings weren't there anymore. You hadn't the slightest clue whether we even still liked each other and yet you did all of this. It was selfish, foolish, idiotic."
Jin was now looking at his mother as her tone changed.
"And you're still hopeful even now. Could there really be that much grace left in the world?—that a little boy can get his parents back together again?"
"Mom, I didn't just do this for me."
Jun's eyebrows furrowed at this. "You want me to believe that you were just doing this for me all because of that silly dream?"
"It wasn't a silly dream," Jin said defiantly. "I know that you would cry some nights and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it. I knew it was because you missed him. That dream, it just gave me the motivation that I needed, but I wanted to do something like that anyway, I mean, maybe when I was older, but I still wanted to do something like that."
"You heard me crying? And I thought I'd managed to keep that from you." Jun sighed. "You still made a lot of assumptions. I might have cried, but that didn't mean I wanted to actually see him again."
"If that's what you want to tell yourself."
"I hated him for what he'd done. Those were not tears of sorrow, but of hate. I knew if I ever saw him again, I'd want to beat the tar out of him. Looks like fate beat me to the punch."
"Mom, you can't mean…?"
"I guess I'm not as soft as I used to be. I used to be able to feel for any man who was in a hospital, hurt for some reason or other. I definitely would have been able to do that for someone in a coma fighting off a life threatening infection. He made his own decisions, Jin. He got what he deserved. If he dies, the fault would be his."
Jin could no longer look at her and returned to looking at the wall. "People make mistakes sometimes."
"Yes, they do. I'll grant you that. That doesn't excuse his actions. Do you understand that he abandoned you, Jin? He didn't expect to actually meet you at all."
"I do. I've already forgiven him for that."
"Have you? Well I suppose you can still do things like that being a child. If you excuse me, Jin," Jun said standing up, "I'd like to stretch my legs for a few."
Jin only looked up when she left and only then did he let his shoulders slump. From what he could understand, a lot of things had to be worked out between those two and he doubted he could help at all in that respect. He could be the most well behaved child in the history of children, but there would still be friction between the two. It had been naïve to think everything could be so simple. Jun wasn't willing to let go of the past and Kazuya, well Jin was pretty sure he was quite guilt-ridden. Jin could understand his father's hesitation now about coming back home so arbitrarily. Even if it had sounded nice in Jin's mind, in reality, it probably would have been a disaster. Perhaps it was better that they met under these circumstances. Jun had felt so powerless to his whims for so long unable to stop herself from feeling the pain of his loss that it was a nice change of pace to be, at the moment, both physically and mentally stronger than the other.
Jin looked down at his father when he thought he heard some movement. It hadn't been the first time he had heard as much, but it had been imagined. He'd stare for almost half an hour and nothing would happen. He only glanced now and returned his gaze to the wall. But then he heard it again. Jin looked down again this time more intently and he could see it now—the other struggling to open his eyes. Jin took one of his hands then hoping that it might be enough stimuli. Slowly, his eyes did open and he seemed to know instinctively that Jin was beside him as his eyes found Jin's almost instantly. After all that talk from the doctor about Kazuya being confused upon first waking, Jin was quite startled.
He said something, but Jin couldn't hear it for the oxygen mask. Jin wanted to take it off, but he had no idea if he should or not. He didn't want to risk ruining anything, but he was afraid to leave his father's side running around asking for a doctor. He searched with his eyes for the device that called for the nurse. When he found it at Kazuya's feet, Jin pressed it immediately. All Jin could do was look at his father's eyes, but he was just as unable to read them as he had been in the past. There was hardly any emotion there and he had given up trying to say something. He must have sensed that it wouldn't amount to much at this point.
"Don't worry, Dad, I called in the nurse. She'll take care of you," Jin said. Then more slowly, "Welcome back."
Kazuya's eyes turned from his son and instead looked at the closed door to his room. Jin followed his gaze and wondered if his actions were in response to the fact that a nurse would be coming in shortly. Jin doubted it. His eyes seemed to lose some of its light as he continued to look in that direction as if his expectations had been dashed.
"The nurse will come any minute," Jin said misreading his father completely.
Not only did the nurse come in after a few minutes, so did the doctor. The doctor was quite genuinely happy about the new developments. Jin listened intently to the doctor's assessment after he looked over all the monitors. It was a good sign that his father had woken, but that he would still need to stay longer for the antibiotics to do their job and for his wounds to heal well enough. The doctor didn't think now was the time to give him actual food just in case his stomach couldn't take it. The whole time the doctor explained these things Kazuya hadn't said a word.
"What about the oxygen mask? Can it be taken off?" Jin asked.
The doctor smiled at the other, "It shouldn't do much harm if it's off for a little bit. If he shows any difficulties with breathing in the meantime, it would be best to simply leave it on."
"Okay," Jin said with a nod.
Jin waited for the doctor to leave before he did as much.
"Dad?" Jin asked cautiously after he gently took the mask off.
Kazuya was looking at him then finally taking his eyes away from the door again. "Hospital?" Kazuya asked the other simply.
Jin noted that he seemed to be breathing just fine on his own. "It wasn't my idea. Mom wanted to do it. I told her it was dangerous."
"So she is here," Kazuya said almost to himself. "How was she?"
"You're asking how she is and you're the one in the hospital?"
Kazuya gave him an annoyed look. "Well?"
"She's fine. She just wanted to stretch her legs for a bit."
"Of course she's fine," Kazuya almost spat at the other. "You know what I mean. Is she angry, upset, anything?" His voice sounded rough and unused, but Jin understood perfectly.
Realization came to Jin's eyes. "Oh, I get it. Well…I think she's upset at least, but I'm sure she'll be happy to see you awake."
"I heard her voice before."
"Did you…hear what she was saying?"
"Enough of it. I think using the word 'happy' would be too generous."
"But she doesn't hate you," Jin argued. "She just—
Just then, the door to his room opened and in stepped Jun. Kazuya's gaze looked towards her immediately. Her face was at first surprised and confused, then she smiled lightly at the other and walked to the other side of the bed.
"I honestly didn't think you'd survive," Jun said, "But then you survived your father so I shouldn't be surprised."
"If it's any consolation, I didn't think so either."
"Geez, you guys are so doom and gloom," Jin said at once after he heard this.
Jun looked at him in the kind of annoyance that Jin hadn't seen on her face before. "Would you mind stepping outside for a bit? Your father and I…have some things to discuss."
"Right now? He just woke up."
"He seems strong enough," Jun countered. "Don't let me repeat myself."
Jin took his leave sensing his mother's patience growing thin. He sat down against the wall in the hall for about half an hour. Whatever they were discussing, it seemed it would take a while. As far as he could tell, there were no raised voices so they might not have been arguing each other to death. Still, Jin felt tense. If the conversation was going badly, he couldn't do anything to change that. The door opened a few minutes later as Jun let him back in.
Jin saw that his father's eyes were closed again and he looked at his mom accusingly.
"Oh, he's fine," Jun said dismissing Jin's look. "He just needed some rest." She sat down at her usual seat. "We didn't talk about anything too heavy," Jun said when she still noticed Jin's look. "Nothing about what our plans were after this. There were just some things that had to be said immediately."
"Mom," Jin said becoming worried.
"I won't apologize for speaking my mind, Jin."
"But he's still recovering," Jin argued.
"So he is and he can continue to do so," Jun sat back in her seat and closed her eyes. "I think I'll rest as well."
Jin felt very alone then. There was nothing he could do or say to influence their actions. He'd just have to let the situation go as it will.
/
AN: A rocky start, I suppose. But that was to be expected.
