There is no greater pleasure than having a well-defined enemy.
Enemies push oneself to achieve; to strive to work for a goal, and motivate to undertake new experiences. The challenge of eliminating an enemy, to send them bleeding to the frozen river of the dead, unleashes more satisfaction than any other undertaking.
Tatsumi knew that he lacked an enemy.
An enemy to push him to his limits, to forge his soul, that is what he needed.
At least that is what Esdeath told him.
He definitely believed her, he had long known that a strong challenge makes or breaks a warrior. But the fierce look in her eyes as she preached this thrilled him. He wanted to impress this woman; to make her ambitions for him naught in vain. At the same time, he couldn't help but fear this excitement. Had this woman's feral allure began to influence him in such a short time? Or perhaps it was the teigu, Scar's frozen evil seeping into his heart like filth taints the river.
"No, I'm me, same old me" Tatsumi assured himself. "I'm Tatsumi, just Tatsumi."
He often felt his thoughts stray away to Sayo and Ieyasu; not a day would pass when he didn't think about his two friends. Every night that he lay awake, slowly drifting away in Esdeath's arms, he would ponder what they were doing, what they would think if they saw him right now, and how they would react.
"Sayo would tell me off, saying I just got lucky" he'd think every time. "Ieyasu would be crazy jealous, this woman's chest is the best neck pillow a man can dream of"
Tatsumi ate breakfast with Esdeath in the Jaegers quarters the morning after his second transformation, an unfamiliar fire in Esdeath's eyes burning through his skin. Tatsumi set his cereal bowl down and spoke first.
"What are you looking at me for, ice queen."
Esdeath gulped down the last of her baked salmon.
"It's nothing. Just thinking about the adventure that awaits us soon."
"And what's that?"
Esdeath patted her chin with a cloth napkin though there was nothing on it that Tatsumi could see.
"You're first patrol begins in an hour today. Normally I do not join my subordinates in such meager tasks, but for you my Tatsu-bunny..." she gently scratched her fork across his arm, sending tingles down to his waist. "...I will be sure to... supervise your novice actions."
"Why am I not surprised."
Her eyes widened in feigned shock.
"Oh?" She teased. "I've heard that constant surprise in a relationship is what keeps it going."
The hickory table flipped on its side, cereal and silverware clattering onto the white tile. Esdeath reached her hand for Tatsumi's throat.
"Perhaps I can pleasantly surprise you right here baby, since you feel so bored" she whispered in his ear, her knee brushing his inner thigh.
"Um... I d-don't know..." stammered Tatsumi. "And you know that's not what I meant" he continued.
"Give yourself to me baby, just this once."
"Stop it."
"Let me ravage you in your transformed state; I want that scary brown gaze devouring me as I take you...or to experiment, you can ravage me."
Tatsumi saw his chance.
"My eyes are green, and I'm not that scary."
Esdeath stopped all of her movement except for her knee, which continued caressing his crotch.
"I'm sorry, I never told you what you look like after you utilize your teigu" she said softly. "Would you like to know?" She tested.
"Not if you masturbate in front of me like you tried last time."
"I promise to contain myself today, don't fret."
She straddled his lap, resting her breasts on his face, chuckling as his head jerked away.
"Scar's Extract appears to make its host resemble Scar himself. Recordings from the First Age often describe him as a powerful being with bright brown eyes and big, strong tentacles of ice" she leaned to his ear. "Do you understand where my sexual fantasies derive now, Tatsu-bunny?"
"No. Get on with it."
Chuckling, Esdeath continued; "When you change, you have the same eyes as he does; but the tentacles... are somewhat lacking their typical strength. They don't appear to be solid ice like in the ancient texts, only some kind of misty frost, like a northern fog. They are also unable to interact with other objects, other than making things colder and pushing you off the ground a bit."
Tatsumi thought back to his match with his lover yesterday. He remembered how he was unable to inflict damage to her with his vectors, yet was somehow able to use them to push off the ground for a quick burst of speed.
"You have bright blue veins too," she continued, tracing her finger down the left of his face and neck. "All... across... here..."
"Sounds gross."
"...I personally think they are there because your body is unused to the teigu. The more of Scar's power you use, the brighter they get, it seems. It reminds me of how fast the Prime Minister's blood flows just from walking."
"So the more power I use, the faster my blood flows, and the brighter my veins get. Kinda cool, but still gross."
Esdeath kissed his forehead, inhaling his hair's scent.
"Perhaps, Tatsu-slave" she happily sighed. "Anyway, I distinctly remember you teleporting behind me during our brawl. I find it hard to believe myself, but I guess teleportation is among your new abilities."
Tatsumi let out a low chuckle.
"No" he corrected. "I just used my vectors to push off the ground, just really quickly that time. I guess I was really fast that time, huh?"
Esdeath's wide grin unsettled him.
"She's smiling over a fight she lost. She's so lovably crazy" he thought.
"That means you already have the control over your teigu to move almost as fast as the speed of light" she praised, licking her lips. "Your potential is astounding, one day you will be able to overtake me, dominate me, and then please me to the fullest."
"What the hell?" Tatsumi thought.
...
The boredom that Tatsumi felt was like no other.
To stroll the streets with one of the most close-mouthed young women in the Capitol, while searching for seemingly non-existent criminals seemed terribly dull to him. The fact that Kurome appeared to dislike him only worsened his day.
While he originally thought he was going to patrol with Esdeath, she decided that getting acquainted with his fellow Jaegers took priority over her "Tatsumi-time." So, he became partnered with Kurome.
They stood on a street corner in front an abandoned building across a fruit market. As he was unused to large crowds, Kurome had to pull him out of the way of the many shoppers and wanderers. He was almost run over by a cart, and stuttered many an apology for stepping on a city-goer's shoe. And the whole time, his partner would eye him suspiciously, her grip on her pouch of snacks tightened. The two finally stood in silence, Tatsumi's attempts at conversation long abandoned.
To his surprise, Kurome spoke.
"We're being watched" she droned.
"Wh-what?"
Her thumb undid her sword from its sheath, her oil black eyes fixated on the market.
"Act normal. We don't want him to know we see him."
"How am I supposed to-"
"Sush. Don't stare at him for too long, but do you see that hooded man eating an apple?"
Tatsumi quickly scanned the crowd, but to his surprise, he actually noticed the target. He returned his gaze to a rat lazily nibbling on a piece of meat underneath a parked carriage.
"Yeah, saw him."
"Feign illness. When you are collapsed on the ground, I will carry you behind the building. In the alleyway you will activate your teigu and we will give chase to the hooded man."
"Uh, okay."
"How do I pretend to be sick?" Tatsumi asked himself.
He grabbed his stomach and distorted his face.
"I've-I've gotta go..." he groaned. "...to the bathroom! Oh god, it hurts."
"Let me take you there then" Kurome monotoned as loud as she could.
She pulled him to the alleyway, Tatsumi yelping as she dragged him across the occasional glass shard. Entering the alley, Kurome smashed a window with the butt of her sword. She crawled in, Tatsumi following suit.
"What are we doing in here?" Tatsumi whispered, the floorboards creaking under his boots.
"I will take a peek out the window to get a heading on our guy. I want you to pursue him when I order you to."
"Alright, sounds good" he approved, the air chilling around him, black icicles quickly forming on the moldy ceiling.
Kurome stared at him wide-eyed. Tatsumi stared back, studying Kurome's change in expression as if it were a rare animal.
"What?" he questioned.
Kurome's poker face returned in an instant.
"Your teigu surprised me, is all."
Silence filled the chilled room for a moment, the bustle of the streets the only sound to be heard. Kurome stared out the boarded window, sunlight creeping through the cracks to shine on her self-enclosed face. Finally, her urgent voice filled the room.
"Found him. He's running through the alley next to the market. Capture him."
Tatsumi quickly scampered to the street, his excitement moving his legs for him. He crouched at the alleyway's exit, awaiting a gap in the street traffic. A gap presented itself, and he projected himself across the street towards the hooded figure, awarding those nearby with a sudden cold breeze. His form blurred right behind his target, the sudden cold intriguing the hooded man enough to turn around. His eyes widened as they rested on Tatsumi.
"Wh-what..."
Tatsumi briefly thought about how his form must strike fear into most others, but he would think about that later.
"Why were you watching us" he asked in a low voice.
To his surprise, he noticed the man grin underneath the hood.
"Secluding yourself here only makes my job easier" he grinning man taunted.
Tatsumi noticed the peculiar gloves adorning the man's hands. Set upon the man's fingertips were small horns. On the man's palms a red exterior blazed in contrast to his pale skin.
"Observe, you glow in the dark freak, I am the only person you will see who can kill you with some string."
Tatsumi leapt out of his reach, but a thin, poking sensation squeezed his middle and dragged him back.
"You seem interesting, but it's time for you to die" the hooded man's voice stated.
"He seems to be pulling me along with some kind of wire" Tatsumi observed. "But he's much too cocky for his own good."
Crystalline, jagged ice wrapped around his fist. Tatsumi chopped in front of him, hoping to cut the wire that kept him. His prediction was confirmed as the pressure on his torso quickly lessened.
"Okay, what the hell-" he shouted, before he dodged a blade swung from the right.
When one's life is attempted on for the first time, fighting instinct injects itself into the body. With this instinct often comes great, toxic anger. To kill another loses all abstract meaning, it transforms into a basic necessity, and bloodthirst is soon the only driving force remembered by the body.
Kill
Tatsumi's grip on the man's face tightened, the screams bleeding into Tatsumi's heart like cherry juice in a cheese cloth. A savory taste dwelled in Tatsumi's mouth, intensified by the stubborn crunching in between his fingers. The deep gurgling echoed in his ears again, heat flooding into his fingertips.
Kill
His own blood flowed down to his waist, his excitement reaching ambitious proportions. His breathing grew heavy, even though he was not being physically tested.
Yes
He left hand descended, and was surrounded in wet warmth. The screams devolved to gasps. Why is there gasping? Stop gasping!
"Tatsumi."
Bothersome
"Tatsumi."
Killed
"Tatsumi."
Kill
"Tatsumi!"
He jerked his head to his right. Kurome's dark, forbidding eyes told him all he needed to know. He begrudgingly pulled his hand from the wall, the wet suction confusing him.
"Kurome, why do they make the walls so soft-"
The ominous tingling spread through his shoulders, his fingers refused to move, nothing could make sense anymore. The mess' agonal gasps were all that distinguished it from the dead filth that lay strewn across the alleyway. Frozen blood preserved the debris, all Tatsumi could think of was how it was like an insect caught in sap.
"What did you do" Kurome stated.
"You said capture him so I-"
A flap of skin and hair dropped from the skullcap, grass and dirt being peeled to reveal rock underneath.
"OH GOD" screamed Tatsumi.
He moved to run, but his feet couldn't budge, they were frozen by the man's blood to the ground.
Feeling flesh from the bones
"SHUT UP!"
He tried with all his strength, but his boots would not move.
Kill
"I HATE YOU!"
Tatsumi couldn't feel anymore, his mind and body were numb, nothing could move him.
Cuuuk
Cuuuk
Cuuuk
That reflexive gasping, the horrible breath of death, was all Tatsumi could hear before his vision went dark.
...
"Report, Kurome."
Kurome stood in front of Esdeath's desk, her bag of snacks held loosely between her fingers.
"No disturbances were found in our sector for the first two and a half hours of our patrol" she deadpanned, reaching for a cookie. "It was not until about 0900 when I realized we were being watched. A hooded figure standing by the fruit market on Royal street was analyzing our every move, I became suspicious. I ordered Tatsumi to pursue and capture the individual with his teigu. I am ignorant of what he did upon reaching the target, all I know is that despite my order to strictly capture him, when I arrived on the scene, the target was smashed to a bloody pulp."
Esdeath grinned, her pride washing her face with new vigor.
"However," Kurome continued; "to say Tatsumi is feeling remorse for his actions is an understatement. After his rampage, he had some kind of breakdown."
Esdeath's smile faded.
"I stopped it before he did anything else, I chopped a pressure point on his neck. He is currently on a bed in the medical quarter-"
"Thank you Kurome. You are dismissed."
Kurome swallowed her cookie.
"Yes General."
...
His fitful sleep was filled with horrid dreams and visions. Oceans of blood and tundras of gore rushed past his vision, his memory threatened to unleash greater demons than the one inside him.
He awoke to cool skin and cold breath, a wet chill covering his eyes with every blink.
"You were crying in your sleep Tatsumi" he heard Esdeath's voice say. "Why is that."
Tatsumi brushed his arms from the warm duvet blankets and reached for her, his only comfort in a dying world.
"I can't use it anymore Esdeath. It makes me see and do things..."
The cool ball of comfort pulled out of his arms, a sharp, quick pain invaded his cheek.
"Tatsumi."
Her hand remained raised after she slapped him. The cold look in her eyes felt so strange to him, masking her domineering presence with a sharp disappointment.
"I can't stand to see weakness in you."
Her tone confused him. What was happening?
"To let your teigu possess you and reject it afterwards can be fatal. You are not weak enough to die. You are strong. You are my Tatsumi. So stop this nonsense" she scolded.
"I-I don't know" sighed Tatsumi. "I...killed-"
"You killed someone" finished Esdeath.
Conscious, substantial tears poured through his shut eyes. His sobbing breath quickened.
"Yes, you- goodness, Tatsumi- yes, you killed someone. But that is no reason to behave like a toddler. He was weaker than you, and he died. I don't understand wh-"
"SHUT UP JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" exclaimed Tatsumi.
He braced himself for what he feared would come but all that arrived was silence. The weight on the bed lightened and the door slammed shut.
...
His scream and the bang of the door echoed infinitely in Esdeath's mind. She stood in her candle lit chambers, staring out the window, the wine in her hand dancing with the shimmering dim yellow light.
"It is a full moon tonight" she observed aloud, though she was alone.
She remained on her feet, her gaze unflinching from the dotted sky for some moments.
A knock on the doorway interrupted the silence.
"Yes?"
"General Esdeath, if I may, would you like me to unlight the candles?" Asked an eager servant, his hands behind his back.
An ice block shot towards the only set of candles in the room, knocking it over.
"Leave" she commanded.
The satisfaction she felt from the man's running footsteps was small indeed, but the slight rise in her heart felt refreshing. She scanned the floor, hoping she didn't make too much of a mess. That was when she noticed the moonlight. The silver dim light captured in so few few moments on so few nights. Ever since she met Tatsumi she began to feel strange new feelings, and noticed many new things she would have otherwise overlooked. Before she met him, the natural beauty of the moon and stars meant nothing to her. Blood and steel were the only elements she loved. Now, the moonlight washing over the white tile reminded her of Tatsumi's transformed silver hair.
Tatsumi.
She hurriedly gulped down her wine and smashed the glass in her fist. Her thoughts were fast now, her mind racing along the edge of a long sword.
"How can you act so weak, Tatsumi- my Tatsumi" she thought. "Your actions are like that of a child. Doesn't he understand that if he displays too much weakness in front of the teigu it would kill him? No... I don't think I made that clear to him. I could tell him- no he is too distressed to listen."
The original reason Tatsumi wanted to join the Capitol was to join the military and make money for his village, she reasoned. So why is he so chagrined by the act of taking the life of another? He wanted to be a fighter so badly, and yet he cries like a child when he finally has blood on his hands. Such weakness was impossible for her to understand.
Another knock on the open doorframe.
"What is it" she tested harshly.
"The autopsy of the victim has been finished. The man was from Night Raid. Owner of the Cross Tail teigu" reported River's voice.
Esdeath gave a brief chuckle.
"I will come down to the room myself. A shame he had to die; I could have made him feel such... exquisite pain."
"Yes, General Esdeath."
Tatsumi rested his head on the white pillow, his hands completely still on his chest. Esdeath's words revolved in his head, his understanding of the situation solidifying and widening, twisting and bending into an unrecognizable shape.
"I can't stand to see weakness in you."
Initially he couldn't understand how guilt over murder was weakness. However, in his third hour of lying in bed, he felt his heart grow colder. His mind slowed, his thoughts more rational.
"This is what I wanted, wasn't it?" He thought to himself. "Why am I crying over my first combat as an official member of the Imperial military?"
A voice in his conscience agreed with him. He only did his job. He killed an enemy of the Empire. And the enemy attempted to kill him too, the other guy struck first.
"I was in the right, wasn't I?" he questioned.
Esdeath said something else that bothered him.
"To let your teigu possess you and reject it afterwards can be fatal."
The events leading up to the man's death were a complete blur to him. That alone convinced him that he had allowed the teigu to possess him. Scar's Extract forced him to kill a man. Scar's Extract made him crush the man's skull and impale his stomach. Scar controlled Tatsumi in that moment, and that scared him.
He rejected the teigu too, he could not accept that the demon inside him controlled him. But he didn't know how that could kill him. "Weapons don't just kill their users. What was she even saying" he reflected.
A familiar presence faded in. The domineering, powerful aura of Esdeath intensified as she stepped into the room. He couldn't help but tense his shoulders.
"Still crying?" she greeted.
Tatsumi turned his head to face her, barely allowing a small smile to melt into his face.
"No. I realized you were right. I can't cry over doing my job" he stated.
"Good. Now get up. Only weaklings imprison themselves to their beds" she proclaimed.
"...but there's one thing."
Her sinful head cocked to the side.
"I'm listening."
"I've resolved to never use my teigu again. I want to get stronger, but I cannot use something that can possess me so easily."
All affection left her eyes, one hand briefly clenched into a fist.
"Do you want to die you fool" she stated.
Tatsumi opened his mouth, but she beat him to it.
"I told you, you will die if you reject the teigu. To reject a capable weapon is weakness, Tatsumi, and Scar will punish that weakness by killing you. He will think that you are not a suitable master and destroy you. You say you want to be stronger, Tatsumi? Utilize Scar. Use it. If the possession bothers you, then destroy it's will to control you. Use your sheer willpower to eliminate all of it's misgivings for you. Learn to control your teigu, that is the way to new strength."
Her mouth stayed silent a moment, her lips unmoving.
"I just... don't want to lose you..."
Tatsumi's jaw dropped as he noticed her eyes glisten. Her arms held him with renewed passion, his head nestled into her sensual neck.
"...my Tatsu-bunny."
He felt her chin lift from his crown. His own head raised, and found his lips meeting hers. He refused to hold back, her soft gentle lips were exactly what he has been waiting for, whether he knew it or not. When she pulled back, the love in her eyes had returned. Her fingers drew careful circles on his hands.
"We... will resume training tomorrow" she informed softly. "But for now, we must retire to my chambers. Tonight... I surely must punish you, for being such a bad boy..."
Uncertain excitement mounted in his heart.
"B-b-b-but why?" he stammered.
"No talking" she ordered, grabbing hold of his wrist. "Speech will only worsen your punishment."
"W-what will you make me do?"
Esdeath charged out the door past a medical assistant, Tatsumi staggering behind.
"Help me!" He exclaimed.
