Chapter 14
Bella's POV
Songs for chapter:
Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
The War Is over by Kelly Clarkson
Dawning of a new Day…
After that disastrous last meeting, I refocused myself and set my priorities straight. School and family became my primary focus, not letting things I couldn't control, dictate my relationships with others, nor would I miss any more time due to the actions of those only set on hurting me and mine…I refused to continue being weak.
My heart was still a bit raw and tender after seeing him, but not as damaged as the last time I stood in his presence all those years ago.
My father was infuriated to find out that he had been so close to me, but relented and calmed as Peter explained what actually occurred and how well I took it all.
Lauren and my mother wanted to go on a proverbial witch hunt, while Lauren's mom just wanted to 'beat his pathetic ass.'
We were all aware of how much control he had over his life as of late… Esme, truly wore the pants in that family…dictating their every move.
I knew that the thought was what counted, but I wouldn't deny that a small piece of me would have paid good money to see that blonde leech get hers.
While it was true that I didn't know her personally…she was exactly what the money hungry, society climbing bitches looked like.
All proper, plastic, and with an indescribable edge of cattiness to her that couldn't be denied…exactly what he and his family deserved.
The following months after our departure from Naples were filled with a flurry of activity.
Classes started and my job resumed.
I buried myself in a heavier workload that semester, in hopes of avoiding thinking too much about him and his pending nuptials…yes, I said nuptials. The idiot had set his sights on the blonde and was making her an honest woman in the eyes of his obnoxious ass kissing society.
The wedding was to take place in an oceanfront estate in Miami with over 500 guests.
The 'Wedding of the Year' is what it was dubbed. The couple was revered and loved in the city… they were said to be a union made in society heaven.
I still remember the day my family received the invitation and the explosion that ensued.
We had been out on my parent's deck when there was a sudden knock on the door. Not expecting anyone that late into the evening, my father headed towards the door with his gun fully loaded in his holster.
There at the door, stood a nervous, skinny, and pimply faced kid with a package addressed to my family and our friends…my guess is that Lauren's family was who they meant by as 'friends.'
In the ostentatious package, which included a bottle of champagne, was a single invitation in lace and gold toned parchment paper…absolutely hideous.
In bold letters there stood my worst nightmare and heartache.
We are cordially inviting you to the blessed union of…
Edward Anthony Cullen
And
Jane Volturi
May God bless this pair and sanctify their union.
What a crock of shit, I thought as my mother ripped the stupid invitation out of my hands and into a million pieces.
"How fucking dare they…him!" she screamed, all the while her eyes were trained on me as she ranted and raved. I could easily see how they would be concerned for my sanity after everything they had already put me through.
I won't deny the tightness in my chest or the tears that slipped from my eyes, but i honestly believed that I took the news better than anyone could have expected.
No sobs or falling to the floor in pain…maybe, just maybe, I was ready to truly let go.
"Because they are selfish assholes, but don't worry…this won't stay like this, this time Renee," my father seethed. "They want to continue fucking with Bella, with us? Well it's about time they get what they deserve."
"What do you have in mind Charlie?"
"I'm not the sheriff here for nothing, my love…I have a few skeletons in my possession that that matriarchal bitch would rather I kept quiet." His posture was rigid and his hands clenched into the tightest fists I've ever seen.
"Dad, leave it alone…I'm over them and their petty shit!" His eyes were sad and afraid, but I held firm and showed them that I wasn't that little, scared, and destroyed girl he had left a few years back.
"Bella," he choked and I ran into his arms.
"I promise…I'm okay…he can't hurt me anymore."
"If you're sure baby girl…," he trailed off, not believing a single word that left my lips. I nodded and held firm, giving them no other choice but to believe what I claimed.…I was just so ready to just continue on with our wonderful night.
Ready to pretend they never existed and breathe fresh air without this annoyance of a wedding hindering my time at home…with them. "Then let's give this piece of shit invitation the dignity it truly deserves," he chuckled, though it came out a bit forced.
He was worried…I knew that, but the love shining back at me through his eyes was all the strength I needed. With a glass of wine in each of their hands and me with my never missing can of 'Rockstar,' we walked over to the outdoor chimney and threw the bits of ugly gold and lace into its flames.
It felt so good…burning the trash and releasing him at once.
That was two months ago…he was getting married today.
We all refused to attend the media circus that became his wedding…not that we would have any way, but with all the local coverage and people digging in to find a juicy story from their pasts, the last thing I needed was to be brought to light as his past love.
If love was truly what he ever felt for me?
Instead, as the clock wound down the minutes, I wrote…finishing that song I had started so long ago.
Lyrics and the melody of a piano coming together in perfect harmony.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
And it was true…even after everything he put me through and the time I had lost next to my loved ones…I couldn't help but wish him nothing but the best.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead", yay.
Truer words couldn't have been spoken…the hurt outweighs the love I shared with him and he took for granted. How quickly was I replaced…left aside by those I thought to be friends for life.
Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
My only hope as I finished these last few lines in my song was that someday, someday I could look back at this time in my life and laugh. Maybe sit and reflect on my painful past with a bottle of wine and my true love beside me.
A man that would love me for me and all I had to offer…nothing more…nothing less.
Hopefully one day I would look back and thank God for saving me from a mistake, because at this very moment, I would give almost anything to be the one he awaited at the end of that cursed aisle.
Instead I had the faith and freedom to now dream and hope to someday come across the man meant for me and only me.
"You ready to head out?" Laurie said as she entered my room with a sad smile on her face.
She was aware and understood just how difficult this day truly was.
Paul and his skank had married right after we graduated…saddest day for my friend, yet freeing for her soul at the same time.
Lauren had claimed to have felt the chains that Paul tightly held around her heart, give way and release her.
It was at that moment that she breathed and noticed Peter beside her…holding her hand and whispering words of love and devotion.
Sweetest moment I'd ever witnessed between two matching souls.
We decided earlier in the day to head on over to a small café' over by the university and… chill. Having been so busy as of late with work, classes and my obsessive need to finish my song before today, I had been alienating them and pushing everyone else away without consciously realizing it.
Thank God they understood and let me work my feelings out on my own…I didn't need someone to meddle or tell me how to deal, just someone to listen if needed and to be free to do as I wished.
The freedom I now see he took away.
Peter drove us over to the already packed shop and parked about a block away. The entire place was crammed with people signing up to sing and showcase what they considered to be their talents.
We had a variety of rock, alternative and grunge singers…bands, a small group of poets and even a few people with weird juggling acts…all fun to watch and get the mind over what losing him would bring.
We found an empty table near the stage with our names on a weird shaped cone.
I looked at my smiling friends and asked what gives?
"Well, we think tonight is going to be special and we want front row seats to your first performance," Peter said in a rush as if pulling off an imaginary band-aid…while Laurie gave me a grimace/smile that made her look constipated.
"What?" I asked, dumbfounded by what he said…I couldn't get up there and sing…were they out of their freaking minds? Especially not that song, no, that song was just too personal and I wasn't sure if I could perform it without falling apart.
"Look B," my best friend started, "we love you and see the potential in your art…give it a go…you have nothing to lose yet everything to gain." Her eyes were sincere and full of love…I couldn't be mad.
"But, but, but…" I tried to express how I felt as everything sank in…my verbal repertoire becoming nonexistent as the potential this all had to become a disaster solidified in my head.
Me plus the stage and my guitar…fuck.
"Ha! I can't perform…I don't have my guitar or piano!" Peter suddenly walked away without another word and left the café'.
I was afraid.
"Yes you can, Bella, and don't worry your pretty little head off…everything has already been taken care of...just trust us and sing that song you have been working so hard on over the last few years." How could she ask this of me, knowing what it represented and what today was…my heart couldn't handle that amount of pain.
"Bella, would I ever ask you to do something that I think would cause you pain, unless it was for you're own good?"
"No."
"Then stop doubting me and yourself…you have a gift…your music comes from deep within your soul and heart…people will love you and connect, because we have all been there at one point in time or another. Don't be ashamed. Embrace the pain and let it out through what you've written…it'll do you a world of good to let all that anger, frustration, hurt and love out." She was right.
"Okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah…let's do this."
And so I did…my name being called just after Peter came walking back through the front doors and over to our table with a small guitar in his hands.
I was amazed at how fast he seemed to have gotten a hold of one and told him so, but he just shrugged it off and told me to rock the house.
As I walked over to the stage, my nerves were beginning to take hold of me…scared and trembling was how I made it up onto that stage. My knees threatened to buckle as I hoisted myself onto a small stool left in the center of the stage for me to sit on while I sang.
The melody was simple and a little different from how it would sound on a piano, but still manageable.
Closing my eyes to escape the crowds criticizing gaze, I began to belt out every word…tears running down my cheeks and making it hard to breathe at moments, but I continued on. It was hard to hold in the sobs wanting to be let out, but I did and it felt so good to hear the crowd explode in applause and begin a chant for more.
Not sure what they would have wanted to hear, I let the crowd shout out their requests.
The popular choice was You Outta Know by Alanis Morrisette…a song me and Laurie were very familiar with, as we wore out that CD quickly after she had moved into the neighborhood.
The crowd sang along with me and I blushed…never would I have believed that me, Isabella Swan, would have felt so at home on a stage. I was laughing and enjoying the happy energy the crowd threw back at me…best feeling in the world.
After my impromptu set, I made my way back to our table, only to be stopped by a tall and handsome man claiming to work for a local radio station. He was impressed by my performance and so were the executives to a huge record label hanging out with him tonight.
I was shocked and quite literally about to faint as he handed me their business card and set up a meeting for the following day. They claimed to have loved my voice, look and lyrics…I was the 'total package' as he claimed.
Not knowing what to say, I simply said 'thank you,' and walked away with that card clutched firmly between my shaking fingers…things like this just didn't happen to girls like me.
"What did that guy want, Bell?" Peter was watching the guy that approached me carefully. He didn't know what I had been offered and what this could mean for us all, because if I ever did decide to go this route, they would be right there with me.
Lauren was smug and Peter amazed.
"I knew something big was about to happen…I told you B…I told you!" she exclaimed before hugging me fiercely.
"Bella, are you sure you want to do this? Is music something you could see yourself doing and being content?" Peter…always our little worrier.
"Yes, Pete, and I want you guys with me every step of the way…come with me tomorrow and help me figure out what could and might not happen."
"You bet your ass we'll be there B…we decided a long time ago to always have each other's backs no matter what. Well, here is the first of many times those words will be put to use," declared Laurie. Raising her glass high above her head, she made a toast to new beginnings and never ending friendships.
To new beginnings indeed…
Well there you go folks…we are back with Bella and just in time to see her transformation into a star commence. I will be aiming for an update about every three weeks as I have two other wip's going at the moment and UISY needs to be wrapped up…see u next update!
Massy
