Disclaimer: This story will be very harsh at points. There will be heart wrenching moments… I warn you now. You may hate a character or two, but I promise no matter how bad it gets … there will be an HEA… I believe everyone deserves a second chance and so this will be a journey of growth, humility and finding the simple joys in life… the things that truly matter.
I need to thank my team… Stephanie, Rachel and Cheryl. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't do this without all the love and helpful, encouraging words you always have for me… I truly love you all!
Also, if you want a sneak peek at future chapters and juicy pics that go with the story, join me on Face Book…My name is Reyes Onethree-nine and the group is called Massy's Minions… come join my craziness and get your extra fix of...It Isn't Over Yet and my other stories.
Twilight isn't mine, you know this … I know this… soooo moving on…
Chapter 15
Bella's POV
Song for chapter:
Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
Five years in and I'm finally me again…
"Marie, Marie…over here," they shouted at me from so many directions that I barely had time to give them even one fifth of what they wanted. I was known for being agreeable and open with the public about this persona I had created and I was proud of myself for keeping a good relationship with the media and my fans.
If a picture or autograph was what they wanted, I was always more than willing to oblige if the setting permitted…it kept them happy and honestly, it also kept me off those nasty blogs and unfriendly web sites designed to tear an actor, musician, or anyone in the lime light, apart.
My life had become so very different after that meeting a year ago.
Now my days were filled with endless hours at the recording studio and maybe an 'open to the media' set. These open sets were designed especially to promote and show that I was the real deal, not a fake carbon copy of what most female artists have become.
My voice wasn't made in the studio by computers, nor was I trained to play a few cords over and over again.
I was me and me alone with a guitar, piano or plain ol' no music…my voice never waivered or showed weakness, something I was constantly commended on.
"She's just what the music world needed." One reporter for Rolling Stones magazine said in his article. "A true and beautiful breath of fresh air." Another claimed and so on and so on.
My first CD was about to be released and already the buzz behind me, and my small crew of accompanying musicians, was great. Not that I used many…truly, just two guys that played the instruments for me if the song was an emotional one and was known to take its toll on me while we played.
Today I was set to be on the Tonight Show for the first time…
My nervousness was almost overwhelming…so many people watching, criticizing and making up their minds on if I was worth it or not to spend their couple of bucks on my music. My first CD was scheduled to come out tonight at midnight while I played and I was hoping for instant success and the chance to prove my craft…something that Edward's absence had made me hone and almost make perfect.
"Ready, Bells?" His gentle hands took a hold of my trembling ones and began to rub soothing circles on my palm. This man was truly a saint in my eyes and the reason that I was becoming what I should have always been…something I was before the Cullen's left me to rot in my own self-deprecating worth."You'll knock them dead…just as you have done to me with everything you are…don't be nervous, just pretend its me and you alone in that studio, writing and recording this beautiful song you wrote from all that pain you once carried…let it out and let them see what a shining star you truly are." My eyes locked in with his before I leant forward and gave him a small kiss on his cheek and nodded a yes. His smile was blinding and full of warmth…warmth so strong and calming that the enormous amounts of nerves and fear I once held within me disappeared.
"You've come a long way baby girl and you are only getting started…show them what you're worth and what you have become…give them a reason to see that it was their loss, not yours." I gasped…he smiled and held me close. "You are a star in my and so many other's eyes… beautiful, smart, dedicated and so hard working…you deserve this, Bella…enjoy…bask in their love for you."
Those encouraging words took me back to that day it all happened for me…the meeting…the feelings and meeting him for the first time. I never imagined feeling anything for anyone ever again, much less me wanting to let anyone get close, but it happened and he was the reason why.
Our celebrations to new beginnings lasted way into the early morning light. Toasts were made in congratulations, plans concocted on how to proceed, and our bonds as best friends and siblings re-enforced.
Pete was worried for me and with what I believe was a good solid reason. It's not an everyday occurrence that one of your best friends and sister is offered this amazing type of life changing opportunity. Granted he was happy, proud and as excited as the rest of us, but he also did not want me to take on too much, especially after making so much progress in finding most of what I'd lost after Edward walked away…my self worth was something I wanted to hold onto now more than ever.
His concern was majorly focused on what being thrust into stardom could do to my psyche; being that only a short time ago it was fragile and damaged. But I felt it down to my very bones that this is what I was meant to be...meant to do with my life.
I was finally feeling those jitters from happiness I've lived without for so long…that feeling of finding my way after being lost…I couldn't give that up now, not without knowing if it was worth me taking the plunge into the unknown or if what they offered was worth walking away from to begin with.
My hopes lied in fulfilling a dream I once thought would never be…that maybe, just maybe, I was worth more than he had led me to believe and that maybe I was worth someone's admiration, love and above all, respect…something I could now see he never gave me in all the years I was his girl.
I wanted to feel loved again, but this time with no hidden meaning or agendas…wanted someone to appreciate me and give themselves to me heart and all, no questions asked.
Yes, this girl wanted to find what Laurie and Pete had found in each other…I deserved that too.
In my short 19 years on this earth, there have been two defining moments where I have felt secure, fulfilled...happy.
The first was when I was in Edward's arms for the first time and all throughout our relationship.
In those first few years, I had felt cherished and protected… something that might be hard to understand to most, since I was still so young, but to me it was perfectly clear. He was attentive, charming, and so affectionate with me.
Carrying my book bag after school if we walked home...always making sure I was okay and that I had eaten my fill before he would eat his...the little things that to some are overlooked…to me, will always be what matter the most.
I was never a girl that lived for statuses or fortune.
I was simple and simply happy to be so.
Don't get me wrong, I loved being girly, appreciated fashion and dressing up if the particular occasion called for it. I enjoyed spending time getting my nails done with mom and Alice in that little shop down the street from the post office in the center of town.
Sitting down in that chair, gossiping with Alice and each of us picking outrageous designs to rock the next day at school...
We certainly had an affinity for shocking and being the ones to set the trends in our grades.
But while I could appreciate all those things, what I never truly cared for, was having to dress in designer labels on a constant basis or having to drive a Porsche...I was more of an 'if it looked good on me, buy it' kind of gal.
Didn't matter if it was from the Saks clearance rack, Target's must have, or Wal-Mart's seasonal section...it was all the same to me.
Too bad I never saw those same qualities, the ones I abhorred, in them until it was too late for me and my poor battered heart.
"Bella, what time did they tell you to come down to their temporary office in town?" Laurie questioned from her perch atop Pete's lap. He was running his hands in slow soothing circles on her calves and she was eating it up.
You could literally see her melt into him and him in turn, naturally respond to her every smile, and sigh…shift.
It was a beautiful sight to see them so in tune… so in love with each other, yet this same joyous sight made me sad and wish it was me instead…not that I want that with Pete or that I'm jealous of her in that aspect…I just miss that feeling of being wanted and wanting in return.
"It's not an office, you dork…we're all meeting at their hotel's restaurant for breakfast and for them to tell me what they want before I sign my life away."
"Whatever it is…what time do we need to be there?" she replied with an eye roll.
"Sometime between nine and ten a.m. today, they want to make this a bit informal and make it as comfortable for me as they can."
"What do you mean, B?" Pete asked… always the one to ask the questions and want to know every last detail for everything that's about to happen.
"What I mean is just that…an assistant for Twilight Recordings called me this morning and informed me of the changes to venue and what to expect. According to Leah, they want to make me feel comfortable and at ease…not pressured or intimidated… hence the breakfast and relaxed dress code."
"Well that's nice of them," Lauren jumped in and elbowed Peter in the ribs to snap him out of whatever planet his mind had suddenly escaped too. "Yeah, nice," he exclaimed, yet his tone of voice was off…as if he wasn't feeling their generosity as just that… generosity.
"Pete…what's up? Why the long face and concern?" I asked.
"Nothing's wrong, B, just concerned and wanting to have my questions ready to be fired off when the time comes…I can't, and won't, let anyone take advantage of you…I promised! I want to trust that they are being genuine, but can't help and be concerned with how much sudden interest they've taken…"
"Pete!" Laurie yelled as if he had said something wrong, when in reality, he was voicing something that had been plaguing my mind since that early morning phone call.
"No…he's right! I have been wondering why there have been so many accommodations and considerations, when in fact, they are usually the opposite when a person is looking to be signed."
"But that's the thing Isabella, you never approached them, they approached you…they want you, and will do anything to sign the star we have before us and want the world to see."
Pete smiled at her and nodded shyly.
Maybe she was right and we had nothing to fear, but after so many let downs and having others leave me high and dry, I wasn't so ready to walk into that hotel with no reservations…I just couldn't let my guard down completely.
"She's right, B, and I'm sorry if I made you doubt that…come on, lets go and let them wow us with all the goodies they have to offer." And that was exactly what we did.
Upon our arrival, we were ushered in by the sane girl who spoke to me this morning. Leah was so sweet and charming. I could tell she was nervous around us and that actually helped put me at ease.
"I don't bite, nor am I going to be rude, sweetie…relax those shoulders and chill," I leant over and whispered to her so the others wouldn't notice her behavior and embarrass her in a good natured sort of way.
She smiled…I giggled and soon she was joining in, just what the moment needed.
"I can see why they are so taken with you and stressed on making sure they sign you," she whispered back after our laughter calmed. The love birds beside us didn't understand our newly formed exchange, but after a genuine smile from us both and a wink for good measure, they both relaxed and continued on with their private talk.
"Don't be nervous, Isabella…they want you. They will do, and are willing to give, anything to make sure you sign with their label…honey, you are their biggest discovery to date, and they deduced that from your single performance last night."
Her words were extremely comforting and just what I needed to hear. She was an outsider and part of their world, probably used to these sorts of meetings and how they were conducted, but having her say that I had nothing to be nervous about, and that they were that convinced on my abilities, took the pressure off and just let me relax and enjoy what this moment could possibly mean.
We walked into the small terrace like area of the Hilton in Orlando minutes later. The gentlemen were all sitting down at a small table off to the side that was filled with what looked to be a very appetizing breakfast spread…they were all looking quite anxious as I approached and that in itself was comforting
"Good morning, Miss Swan," the radio station's rep I had met the previous night said and then all eyes were on me. "Please take a seat and join us in our meal."
Lauren, Peter and I all sat on the opposite side of the table from where they sat. Plates were placed before us and introductions were all made.
Eleazaar Denali was an older, white haired gentleman in his late to early fifty's and the CEO of Twilight Recordings. He was funny, distinguished and quite the charmer. He commanded attention from everyone in the room…male and female alike.
Laurent Martin was a music producer who had also heard me last night and was here to give Eleazaar all the technical information he would need and I wouldn't know how to answer.
And lastly, we had Demetri Mayer. He was a manager they were hoping could leave a good impression on me and tell me in simpler terms what my contract would demand and what I had to gain…they wanted us to click and have a spark.
And we did.
He was gorgeous, with short, dark brown, tousseled hair and a beautiful smile. Bright blue eyes bore into mine and for the first time in a long time…I blushed. A slight Russian accent made an appearance a time or two as we spoke and the more we interacted, the more entranced I became.
Once all the food was removed from the table, all 'get to know you' conversations ceased and business became the prime focus.
"Isabella, what the men here today played for me in that small recording, is enough for me to want you on my roster as of yesterday. I won't beat around the bush and try to sell us on you, nor will I promise you the world at your feet, what I will promise is a company that will fully support you and back you up on this venture…we want you to feel as if you are now part of this family, because at the end of the day that is exactly what we are."
"What Eleazaar said is true, Isabella," Laurent began, "We saw nothing but potential and an amazing spark in you while you sang last night…you had grace, a soulful voice and charisma…sweetie, everyone in that room was eating out of the palm of your hands as you sang." I blushed and ducked my head down, causing the entire table, except Demetri, to laugh…he just watched me and smiled soft and genuinely..
"You are a star, sweet child, and all we want is to help you reach that plateau you were always meant to reach…give this company a chance…together we can build an incredible career for you and show the world what an incredible star you truly are."
"Wow," I said and a small tear ran down my cheek, I was touched and floored with how much they actually believed in me. I lifted my hand to wipe away the moisture that now ran down my face, but before I could, Demetri ran the tips of his fingers under my eyes, collecting the moisture.
"Don't cry, sweet heart, a beauty such as yourself should never be amazed by a compliment or be surprised when she is told what a priceless gem she truly is." I smiled and Peter and Lauren watched with guarded yet hopeful eyes…don't know why they did, but when looking into their eyes it was all there.
Confusion.
Fear.
Hope…
"He's right, my dear…you are an extraordinary young woman and as such, should be treated with respect and the admiration you deserve." Again I blushed and Eleazaar chuckled the hardest, as it was his words that had caused this latest round of modesty from me.
"I'm very surprised, to be honest, by all of your kind words," I said as I looked at everyone's face, yet when I reached Demitri's, it was his I stayed focused on as I spoke the next words, "but I will try to accept, with grace, everything that has been said today and discussed. I feel that this is a good opportunity for me and would like to give this a trial run…if you will. See where this goes and if our personalities will work well together?"
"What are you saying, Isabella?" Laurent questioned.
"I'm saying that I would love to work with you all, but first I will need to have someone else look at the contract. Once that is done and all sides are happy…not just me… I would love to give this a go…a trial. Honestly, I believe you guys could help me hone my craft and develop it, but I would like to be sure before I sign on that dotted line."
"I can work with that," Eleazaar quickly answered and the other two nodded in agreement.
"Also, I want to have complete control creatively…I write…I sing…all me. I don't want to be created in a lab and plucked and shaped into what you believe I should be…not what I am."
"Fair enough, little one, you get your chance to prove to me this is the right way to go…blow me away and you will have all the control…agreed?"
"Agreed."
And so we ran the test run that lasted all of two weeks…they loved what I brought to the table and everything I had written for myself during those trying times where I was lost.
Demitri stood by my side and fought for me when others attempted to meddle or require my image to change or be 'enhanced,' as they tried to call it…Lauren had a few choice words for that image consultant that left the poor girl in tears.
Peter was a godsend with the whirlwind of planning, meetings and nights of seeing nothing but the four walls of the recording studio they had rented solely for me in town…I refused to go to New York as they had asked, citing that I would need my friends and family close.
Plus, I was still determined to continue on with my schooling before I became Marie.
That's another thing they tried to fight me on…the name change.
"Isabella is a beautiful name, little one, and so marketable," Eleazaar tried to reason to no avail.
"I want to start fresh Eli," I began for the thousandth time today…the old man was just as stubborn as I was. "Isabella has a past that I want to distance myself from and keep completely separate from who I will now be…no negativity …just me and my new life…please understand."
He relented, though he never let me hear the end of it, but he loved me as a daughter and treated me as such, always saying…
"I could never say no to you, little one…you're going to give me gray hairs." I laughed and he joined in. I n his eyes, if you couldn't beat me…you joined the bandwagon.
Months passed and everything was set to be released soon, yet I had one major obstacle to face first…the performance I was about to nail…and nail I did.
The crowd sang along with the one song we had previously released to the media to gauge their response. Hands rose up high in the air, voices overriding mine as they sang along and tears of joy…shock… running down my cheeks.
Best night of my life thus far.
Demetri stood right off the exit to the stage as I exited and immediately engulfed me in his strong and warm arms. I killed it that night as I sang mine and Edward's song…bittersweet really, if you think about it. Here I am… young, jaded and now adored by many, at least that's what all the celebrity media, newspapers columns and blogs immediately began to report as I stepped off of that stage.
I mattered…I was special…not replaceable as he had made me to believe.
So we have a few new characters amongst us… most importantly Demetri, who will be very important in Bella's life from here on out. What will be the nature of their relationship is yet to be determined…just trust me folks and hang on, the fun is just beginning.
See you guy's next update…
Massy
