A/N –Resolution for them. New character introduction in a flashback toward the end. Enjoy! Fan art on my Tumblr.
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The young teenager slept through lunch and woke late afternoon. The sun was low in the sky when Emma checked through the heavy drapes and she swallowed hard as words from earlier rebounded in her chest. Sleep had lifted the blind fuzz of exhaustion from her brain and shifted her mindset as the Queen said it would. She felt ready to attempt to explain her feelings. Emma searched the downstairs, finding the brunette in the Study. She knocked twice and receiving a welcoming wave stepped onto the room.
"Hi." Short and sweet.
"Hello there, feeling better I take it?" Regina peered over the rim of dark glasses, now slipping them off as the girl approached and sunk down in a chair opposite the desk.
"Yeah, thanks." Mixed blonde trailed a finger over the edge of the gleaming wood in front of her testing for any sharpness. "I'm ready to try talking again please… if you are, I mean."
"I am." The Queen stood and rounded the desk, leaning against it with her arms crossed near her charge. "Before we do, I will give you fair warning now that you are rested and the line is clear for you that any sass or attitude from this point on will not be tolerated, nor will any more misbehavior." Firm, but considerate as she explained her expectations, wanting Emma to be clear that her limit for such had been maxed out from the last two days.
Shrinking, but grateful for the warning. "I'm sorry. Really. I didn't realize how much I was… I over did it, huh?" Biting lips.
An eyebrow arched. "Quite my dear."
"I'll try my best."
"Good girl." Standing and offering a hand. "I think this conversation might best be had over some hot coco. I started some, thinking you'd be up soon. How does that sound?"
Emma gladly accepted the opening with the warm hand and trying a smile. "Great."
Once in the kitchen two mugs were placed on the counter. Keeper set about stirring the promised drink over the stove as Emma watched. Easing in, Regina approached what she needed to know before choosing the direction of the conversation they needed to have.
"I asked you if you had a bad dream earlier. Was I correct?"
"Yeah." Mumbled, but trying harder when there was a patient pause between them. "Yes, Ma'am."
The Queen let the lack of detail go for the moment in exchange for that respect, one closer to the other affection she was used to, as she added a dusting of cinnamon to the mixture. They still needed to discuss the lack of its use, but first. "What is going through your mind, sweet one?"
Teeth pulled at cuticles as green eyes watched liquid chocolate poured into her favorite yellow mug. "When we were in the car outside of Gold's yesterday and you were trying to find your headache medicine I wondered…" Pausing as the mug was placed before her and a gentle hand pulled fingers from an abusing mouth.
"You wondered…?" Regina redirected and sipped the coco. She wasn't a fan of sweet drinks, but her girl always delighted when she shared in this treat, claiming it tasted better together.
"What you would… how much…." Dropping head in hands, Emma became frustrated as words tangled, but tension left her shoulders when a hand began massaging the back of her neck.
"You are doing fine. Try again for me."
A nod. "What would it take for us… not to be us anymore?" Emma sucked her lower lip at the quiet connecting them. Eyes peering left through her lashes. Her Keeper's loving eyes gave her bravery. "I don't mean I want anything to happen or change… ever, but I need to know what your final line is. The end of what we are to each other." The edge of the cliff from her dream rimmed her vision.
Searching wide open green. "You had that dream again last night, didn't you baby." Not a question as Regina tamed an unruly blonde curl to the side. "That is what this whole upset has been about then. How far is too far to push me and your fear of being sent away." Worry from the last few days leaving in the clarity of understanding.
"Yeah… I mean yes." Squirming as knowing eyes stripped her final layers away to the core.
The Queen turned in seat, one hand taking Emma's and the other lifting a wobbly chin. "If you hear one thing loud and clear today let it be this... Ah, ah, ah, look at me." Waiting for green eyes. "I love you unconditionally Emma Swan Mills and there is nothing you could do or say to change that. No end or final line to my love for you, all of you. What we have together, us as a family, is forever." She bent to kiss a now wet cheek.
Relief. "I'm so sorry." A whisper. "For my attitude, whining, the shop… everything." Emma leaned forward in full acceptance of that reassurance, wrapping her arms around her Keeper's waist. For the first time this part of her gave into the complete solace of those arms.
"Thank you baby."
After a long moment, Emma tilted her chin up meeting promising eyes. "Am I still grounded?"
"Yes." Cupping a pale cheek with a raised brow. "Nice try though."
"I had to ask." Smiling sweetly.
Returning the grin, smooth hands traveled through blonde curls. "I knew that was coming." More seriously. "I will never hold you too tightly, but I will also never let you go so far that I cannot pull you back. We will make mistakes and we will come back from them together. Regardless, my love for you is a constant you can always count on."
Emma sat in the weight of that promise, beginning to sip the coco, sweet warmth filling more than her stomach. "I'm actually glad we are staying home tonight. What you planned sounds perfect."
Deciding to take a break from the last thing that needed discussing, Emma's lack of her title, she kissed the girl's forehead. "Speaking of which, I should order our pizza. Go pick out a game or two you'd like to play." Palming her buzzing cell phone and frowning at the screen as Emma slipped off down the hall. The doorbell ringing drew her away from a text feed flashing and she moved to the foyer to answer it.
A few minutes later Emma waltzed back into the kitchen. "I want to play Checkers and…" Emma trailed off not seeing the Queen and hesitated when she heard muffled voices in the foyer. Biting her lip, she peeked around the corner, her motion caught the start of a concerned question in brown eyes looking her way and a matching set of confused green ones not her own.
"Come here." Regina beckoned Emma over to where she stood by the front door with Snow, waiting until the girl was close before continuing. "Is there something you need to tell me?"
A wince, action from earlier this morning hit Emma's chest like a freight train she forgot was coming. "I told you the truth about the text message." Shifting foot to foot.
"The truth or a manipulative version of it to get your way?" Hands found hips when the cyclone Emma was began spinning again and when the girl said nothing, adding. "Well?"
Snow tried not to stare at the young teenager her daughter was. David had told her, but she'd yet to see this version for herself. She looked between her blushing daughter and an austere Queen, knowing enough about their relationship to understand Emma had clearly done something she shouldn't of. Wanting to respect their privacy, especially since she had made some kind of peace at Christmas with Regina and headway with Emma she leaned towards the door.
"If now is not a good time, I can come back later."
Regina moved eyes to Snow and nodded apologetically. "That would be best—"
"Stay!" Emma blurted. The second Snow left she'd be in trouble and she had no desire to face the disappointed look she had coming. "I mean you are here already."
The pixie haired woman caught her daughter's obvious avoidance. She would not step in between them, but she would gently share her thoughts. "I'm getting the sense that this was not a good time for us to talk about my news and that you knew that before you had Regina text me on your behalf to meet at here tonight at 5:00." Uncertain, but wanting to be honest. "You didn't mean to, I'm sure, but that hurts my feelings Emma."
Brown eyes closed for a long moment and opened finding a guilty pair. "So that is what the cryptic message was." She'd been hoping there was some mix up, not deliberateness on Emma's behalf.
Pale hands went up. "In my defense I was super annoyed and really tired and I didn't…" The brief flash of hurt crossing Regina's face before the mask returned was enough to shut down that rant. Shoulders dropped and Emma toed the tile as her fingers twisted her PJ top into a wrinkled mess. "I'm sorry?"
Red lips set in a firm line and directed her next words to the Princess. "It has been a very long week with the storm and all. Emma knew we were to have a quiet day at home when she asked me to send that message, which I thought to mean a meeting next week, not today. I am not up to code on the new lingo, it seems, and I was unaware of what she was inferring."
"It's fine Regina." A small smile. "I'm going to head out to pick up David and Neal." Giving understanding and still hopeful eyes to her daughter. "Maybe next week we can talk Emma?"
Curls bounced with a nod. "Yeah, I'll call you Monday." And she would. Also, hoping now that her grounding wouldn't be extended, but knowing Regina would be flexible with that phone call if that was the case. Eyes found the floor when she felt her Keeper's arm wrap around her shoulders, pulling her close.
"You owe Snow an apology."
Pink lips rolled in and sighed. "I'm sorry for inviting you when I knew it wasn't a good time. You're right I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything like that. I was wrong."
Saying it out loud made her actions blatant. She'd used Snow and the woman's eagerness to spend time with her as an excuse to get her way. Not to mention the fast one she pulled on M—. The weight was too much just then and a tear leaked. Looking up into russet eyes and begging with hers was enough to get her excused.
Firm. "Go on into the Study and wait for me."
Emma paled. To the Study, to wait, and not her room where she'd hoped. The words said from earlier after she'd woken up came rushing back. "But M—Gina." Losing her voice when she got the no nonsense look, she forced feet to move in the requested direction.
Regina waited until the blonde was around the corner before giving her attention and a tight smile to Snow who appeared to be trying to form her next words.
"Looks like you two have a lot to talk about?" Snow ventured carefully on new territory, not missing Emma's less than eager drudge to the Study and was surprised that it didn't concern her.
"We do. Like I said, it has been a very long week. Emma has had a rough go of it." She watched as the woman before her rubbed hands over her jacket, a motion that her girl often mimicked when something wanted to be said, but unsure of the response it would yield. "What is on your mind Snow?"
Blinking rapidly as words tumbled out. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about you two and this whole thing recently and I realized how far Emma has come. With you, with… this." A pointed chin tilted to the side. "She seems happier and even healthier in the last few years." Her hands found her stomach. "I will always want to have the… that special closeness you have with her, but I also know I won't, not in that way exactly and I'm learning to be okay with that."
Whatever Regina had been expecting it was not those words. She was taken aback by the sudden openness. The acceptance being offered would not come freely and she wondered the price, knowing she would strive to pay it if it meant peace for Emma. Hopefully, for all of them.
"That is a very kind thing to say, especially after everything we have been through. We've discussed it before, but I will say it again. It is not my intention to keep Emma from you or David."
Green eyes filled, more than hormones getting the best of her. "There is a lot her and I still need to heal and I'm trying. She is too." Looking away, gathering the courage to let go. "Just do one thing for me, please. Keep doing what you're doing for Emma. Give her the absolute best you are. She deserves it."
Easy and simple. "I promise I am and will continue to do so."
"Gina?" A call from another room. "I think I'm getting gray hair waiting in here."
Heart full. "I'll be there in a moment Emma. Have some patience please." Rolling her eyes with a shake of her head. Even in trouble her girl couldn't help trying to be funny.
Snow smirked, wiping her eye. "She's a pistil at this age."
"That she is." A soft smile.
"I should get going. Happy New Year Regina." Turning to leave.
"We will make it a good one, for Emma. And Snow?" Waiting until their eyes met. "She needs all of us."
Grateful. Hope. Or something of a mix saturated the air they breathed.
Regina saw Snow out and leaned against the door in thought, chest heavy, much as she had done with David several weeks prior. She'd easily keep her word to Snow and slowly she let her mind muse over the time home since the spell. Through everything she'd been doing her best and realized Emma might need that to look a little different than she'd been going about things, especially the polar extreme version sitting in the next room.
Corralling Emma when she was an adult or six came naturally by now. She was beginning to see that the teenage version needed every bit of the same expectations and follow through that the other ages did. All were Emma at the core; same ember, spark, and fire that begged to burn, but needed to be contained to do so without destroying itself like it once nearly did. Her head rolled forward and took the deepest breath she could. Regina knew Emma was in such a space that she willingly wouldn't make the choice that needed making.
It was time for the tough part of love.
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In the Study the young teen sat on the couch bouncing her knee growing anxious the longer she was left waiting. Emma palmed her face and didn't look up when she heard the front door close. It was a few minutes more before the one to the Study did the same. She braved eyes upwards, teeth catching her bottom lip at the grave look coming her way, one that also held something else she couldn't identify.
Stomach fluttered as dark eyes swept over her, interrupting crossed thoughts. 'She looks so... This is gonna suck...'
"What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?" Regina asked directly, voice firm, as she settled in the middle of the couch hip to hip with the fidgeting girl. Well done with distance.
Emma winced. She hadn't been on the receiving end of that tone in a very long while. Not since the last time she'd completely blown up their rules, most of them anyway. Regina had pulled her back from the edge of the abyss when she had throw them both off of it in her own brass way. The Queen had that same set about the jaw now as had then. She squirmed. Little by little she'd been letting herself give into old habits, ones that hurt more than her. Thoughts were broken when the tone came again, not a request, when she hadn't responded.
"Emma."
"I wasn't thinking this morning and then I did, too much, and my mouth got ahead of my mind and by then it was too late." She rubbed sweaty palms on plaid cotton pants and stopped when another covered her own.
"It is never too late to tell me anything or to tell me the truth."
"But it was the truth." Emma stammered, blushing when she knew it really hadn't been.
Thumb rolled softly over tense pale knuckles in hand. "If you honestly believe that then we need to have a long discussion on what being truthful means, but I think you already well know the difference. Isn't that correct Emma?"
Heat stung behind green windows. Quiet. "Yes."
"You manipulated words and their meaning, or rather misused them. In doing so you took advantage of my ignorance to get your way. That is not only disrespectful to me and our relationship, but dishonest and self centered. Snow's feelings also got hurt in the process." She took a deep breath to soften her next words. "And so did mine." Then regained her former tone. "What part of that sounds acceptable to you?"
"None of it, but… it was just a text." Trying to hide, but the hand now cupping her chin wouldn't let her.
"On its own this situation may not seem like a big deal, but coupled with your behavior from the last few days and even weeks, there is no doubt in my mind that you need me to hold you accountable in a bit of a different way than I have been approaching things lately with you this size. I've been considerate and have given you chance upon chance to make adjustments. I've given you plenty of choices and time to make better ones when you've pushed back." Regina watched green eyes start to fill, but kept her resolve. "You are within the beginnings of a self destructive cycle. I know exactly where this path goes Emma and I refuse to let you go running down it because I love you. Just like I belong to you, you also belong to me. And sometimes, like now, I have to make the tough calls when you are unable to."
"What's that mean?" Stalling as her toes curled.
Red parted after a long pause of certainty. "It means Emma, in part and for today, that you have some serious thinking to do and after, a much needed reminder over my knee. For tomorrow we will get to that then."
"You don't have to… Noo Ginaaa." Deflecting and then repeating for lack of something better. "It was just a text." It was so much more than that though and guts clenching, she knew it.
Regina moved them forward. "What did you hope to gain from your choice earlier?"
"Time out of the house after Snow dropped the baby bomb, maybe at the potluck if she and I both wanted to go and she was here already." Bitterness over her actions filled Emma's mouth. "I was upset when you said we weren't going and I know I said I didn't want to go last week, but that was last week and… I know I'm grounded, but I wanted the voice inside my head to stop, you know the one… and I wanted a distraction. I'm sorry." Seeing too clearly now what she'd done in the entirety of the last few days. "I don't want a reminder." Covering her face.
Love resolute. "That may be, though I did not ask if you did."
Snapping upright. "Noooo." Then Emma's heart moved to her temples. "Ma—Ginnnaa, I'm saying no."
"But not your safe word?" Pausing a long moment for allowance as clear recognition came to green eyes. "And even so, as you are right now and per our agreement, your consequence is not your decision. It is mine and you have more than earned a reminder from me young lady. You need one."
"I don't want one though." Arms crossed prepared to fight, but not misuse their safe word. Not again. "You can't make me."
Crossing her legs and leaning back, royal hands returned to lap prepared to wait. "This can be as hard or as simple as you choose to make it. I am patient Emma and you know that. You are stubborn and fiercely so, as am I and I've years on you in the determination department, especially when it is fueled by my love for you."
A green tear fell.
Gesturing to the corner. "You need some time to reflect on your choices before we begin."
Then more. "How long?"
"As long as it takes my sweet one." Ending on the soft assuring affection that was needed.
Emma's heart skipped, used to a set time and wondered what that meant. "I'm sorry though." Standing and trying to stall the inevitable.
"Those words have been said a lot lately." Heart pinching as it had before to say something other than what she had to. For both of them. "Now it is time to show me. Go on."
Toes quietly touched the wall, scrunching within socks for several minutes before her mind focused on the task she'd been set. Emma could hear time passing; breathing and a heartbeat, no two, meshing with the ticking clock on the mantle. Time drug her mind in slow circles, but the longer she stood there the clearer it became. She would be looking at two joined walls until she accepted that this time, this one time, what was going to happen was not her choice. Right now, until she grew, Regina would put her on the right side of the line she'd crossed no matter how much fight she put up doing it or how much she didn't want it to happen.
Need took up arms against want to battle in brain; her usual warring cocktail.
Want was a strange and dangerous word—to crave, desire, or wish for something to happen or not. It was also a secondary expression, one that followed the first spoken between the blink of a green eye. When she'd said I don't want, what she'd been saying was I do need. Realizing then too what else her Keeper was expecting of her, pulse quickened. She would have to say what she needed clearly without prompting or redirecting from red lips, simply of her accord. That was not going to be easy.
And even if she did or didn't say her truth when she stepped from the corner, it was still going to happen.
Given her size she could safe word, they would pause so she could step aside, process, but they would resume once she had, of that Emma had no doubt because her Keeper had promised they would at her own insistence and had promised something else a long time ago. She'd asked for this, wanted and needed the absolute loving direction only Regina had been able to give her. The battle of the two words ached between muscle and blood in her chest. Admitting her need would mean accepting that she'd been deceptive, hurt the one she loved, and had in fact been starting to spiral into self ruin.
Again.
Once in their other spelled life when she'd ran away the first time from Regina, a time without her memories of who and what held her leash, Ruby told her something she'd never forgotten. The words said in the diner before Regina came to claim her little running feet misted over her now, a soothing balm on the cut of her mind.
'If there is one thing I know about the Mayor is that she would go to the moon and back for you. She chose you. That is so incredibly special and unconditional love at its' finest.'
At the time her little mind hadn't known and eyes didn't see the love in brown ones that had come for her. But her heart had felt it, whispered against the grain of doubt. A promise made in this life, to help her stand up every time she slipped, had transcended to another reality and had been carefully kept. She closed her eyes forcing them inward as more tears fell and then sudden, took a stolen glance over her shoulder. Emma's head whipped right back around when dark brows rose with a question among them. Not ready to answer with her truth yet, she sighed shifting from foot to foot.
Being honest with her heart was a hard thing at times and now more so as she realized how her actions hurt others and how badly she needed a reset. Dwelling there made time slow down. How long she'd been standing here, she couldn't tell. And it didn't matter. What did, she knew now, is what she'd unconsciously been wanting the last few days and her actions further exposed that want as a need. Her mouth couldn't say it and she wondered if a better word was wouldn't. Sighing as that awareness took hold, feet twitched. There was only one way forward and she would do it with truth on her lips. She owed herself, Regina and the very fiber of their relationship that much.
Turning, she found perceptive eyes holding her.
"I…"
Regina studied that clear gaze for a moment and held out her hand, accepting Emma's willingness, but not speaking at the pause.
Taking the open offer with a deep breath. "I was manipulative and hurt your feelings and Snow's by doing so." Her stomach loosened as she began to explain why she was standing on the right side of a knee. "I feel all messed up inside 'cause of it and you taught me to be truthful, to not run, and I know I shouldn't try to use others or miss use words to get what I want. You're right too. I've been starting to be self destructive and… "
Waiting.
A hesitant green blink of acknowledgment. "I need you to…" Cheeks flamed. "I need a reminder please." A deep breath. "And I know it's not my choice right now."
Thumbs rubbed circles on white knuckles. "That was a hard thing for you to admit and I'm proud of you for being honest about that, not only with yourself but me." That specific praise earned her a smile in return, but one that didn't quite reach green eyes.
Looking at their hands, Emma moved hers so they were palm to palm. "I hate it sometimes that I need it to feel better and to put me on the right path. I still don't waaannt one." A hint of whine. Then her eyes moved into the russet depths of absolution that she just realized had been resting there since the door of the Study had closed on them. She'd already been forgiven. Feet took a step closer. "But I won't fight you."
Acceptance.
With that finality Regina guided Emma over her lap, taking her time to adjust the girl forward so toes did not brush the floor. Securing her left arm around a slim waist she got right to the task at hand and hers ignited firmly with the presented backside six times on alternate cheeks before pausing. Fingers hooked inside an elastic band, drawing plaid PJ pants to mid thigh. Emma squirmed, breathless after that introduction and dropped her head as the next set of six started. Silent crying began halfway through, ending with a whimper as another pause exposed warm skin to cool air. She threw a hand back only to have it taken and clasped against her lower back. A small and secure comfort.
"Nooooo." Now that Emma was on the cusp of letting go, she denied what she needed. She always did, but she was pulled from that quandary when the hand holding hers squeezed with reassurance as another began stroking her hair.
"Do I have your full attention?"
Nodding and sniffles.
"Use your words Emma."
Another sniff and finally settling on what felt right; what she wanted, needed, and what this side of her fully accepted. "Yesss M-mama."
Regina closed her eyes, water pushing to spill. There it was and the first time affection from that mouth another gift. "Look at me." When she had wet emeralds. "Yes I am, always no matter how much you push, how far you run, or how stubborn you are. Do you understand me?"
"Yes Mama." Easier, fluid now.
"I have been very patient with your misbehavior lately because of how hard coming home has been on you, and I'm realizing I've been inconsistent somewhat with my expectations of you, you as you are now mostly."
As she reflected out loud, she felt Emma begin to relax under her hands and that admission. Within her defined boarders of patience and understanding, her girl had begun to run hard against the fence of them. Now they were here where neither one enjoyed being, but the need for balance won out as it always did. It had begun to become clear to her what Emma, all parts, needed during the lead and follow chore segment she'd planned that day; a set schedule and consistent expectations without wiggle room for mischief. Emma thrived under those two things. Her girl's adept response during, after, and now further confirmed what had to be done going forward.
"It is time we revisit some ground rules and get you back into a solid routine like we had before the spell and during. We will talk more tomorrow about those rules and what that routine looks like with our current situation and I have something to give you that will support us greatly with that. For now, we will finish up this lesson and start fresh."
Emma melted in receipt, grateful in the certainty and the even the hand that brought it. Sting mixing with another set of six washed her clean. The last set, with one extra to the crease of each thigh left her wrung out. Twice her current age, no more, no less and just what she needed.
Skin was as pink as her heart was light.
Emma lay over that lap, grounding the base of the tornado that had twisted her up, quieting the fuel of a dark voice to silence. When cries turned to sniffles several minutes later she felt her clothing righted. Hands helped her stand, only she fell into Regina instead, sitting where she'd just found peace. Curling her frame in that lap, she tucked her face into dark hair content to be held. She concentrated on feeling the strength and security wrapped around her, of what it meant and would continue mean. Another tear rolled, one down a tan cheek. Emma felt it fall, watching as it flowered on a knee and knew it was for her not because of her and that made all the difference in her heart.
"I love you baby."
"Love you more Mama."
Regina smiled. "Shall we call it even?"
"Please and thank you and everything in between." The knowing tingling sensation rippled through Emma causing her to shrink to her pint size. A little smile formed when another kiss on her head came, happy to rest to a simpler space for the moment. "Can we still have pizza?"
A deep laugh came forth and Regina summoned tissues to wipe Emma's cheeks and her own. "Of course. Your misadventure or your size, do not change the plans we already have. What games did you pick out?"
"Checkers and Sorry." Emma took another tissue, coming away from the comfort of her Keeper's neck and blew her nose, shrugging with a sparkle in eye. "The last one seemed fitting."
"Mmmhhhmm." Agreeing and patting the little girl's outer hip once, a silent signal for Emma to stand. "After I order dinner, let's get you cleaned up." Then adding to cause the smile she knew it would. "I'd still love to see you wear the new PJ set I got you."
Emma narrowed her eyes, corners of her mouth fought not to turn up at how comical that would be. It had been the first present she'd opened Christmas morning and the six year old she'd been even scoffed at the joke wrapped in tissue paper while everyone busted a gut at The Christmas Story pink bunny PJs, though these were thankfully yellow, in the box. It was Emma's favorite holiday movie and they'd often joked about the antics of the main character this time of year.
"I'm sure you would." Not agreeing or disagreeing, but little smile dimples finally showing.
"At least be a good sport and try them on for me. You grew before you could put them on properly last time."
Emma relented, it had been a funny present and she'd never admit that they were kind of cute, just barely. "Fine, but then they come right off and I'm n-e-v-e-r wearing them again, deal?"
"Deal. Meet me upstairs." Regina ordered their usual pizza as little feet left the room.
Twenty minutes later she finished the second French braid on a damp blonde head and sent Emma to change. She stopped abruptly at the door to the lavender room a few minutes later. Her hand was quick to cover an earsplitting smile as she watched Emma bouncing in front of the long mirror, bunny ears on the hood of the PJs and the footed slippers flapping in unison.
Too freaking adorable for words.
Regina pulled her phone from pocket and caught Emma mid bounce before the Savior realized she was standing there.
"Hey! No fair!" Emma yanked off the hood and began fumbling with the zipper at her throat.
"Way fair. I have a right to capture your cute moments." She put the phone away and tried to school her humor, red lips twitching to laugh again. "Here, let me help you." Moving to assist little fingers and finding ribs to tickle instead."
"Ahhhhhhh! Mama!" A high pitched giggle burst.
"Always." Wholly content with a squealing happy girl in arms.
Later that night they rang in the New Year early with sparkling cider and pizza. Emma won both games of Sorry and almost beat the Queen at Checkers before they called a tie on their final round. Well before 8:00 rolled around Emma was fast asleep, little body tuckered out from the day. After, Regina went to the privacy of her room to make a phone call.
Within two rings Snow's voice picked up, the noise of the diner festivities in the background. "Regina, hi… is Emma okay?"
"She is fine, sleeping actually and six at the moment. I know now is probably not the best time, but I need your help with something for Emma. It's time sensitive and I have most of it worked out, but I need ask you a few questions before I speak with her in the morning. Are you able to talk for a bit?"
A pause then an elated answer at being included in something for her daughter. "Of course, let me step outside…"
They ended up talking for close to an hour, ironing out details Regina had wondered over. She hung up satisfied her plan for Emma would work and grateful for Snow's connections to help with them. She stared at her phone for a long moment wanting to dial one more number she had deleted ages ago.
The Principal of the Storybrooke Primary School would be a good ally to have, but her relationship with that woman was complicated at best. They had been more than civil in passing around town for years, but now she would need to reopen that door to a working relationship at the least. But it never was that simple with the tall leggy blue eyed woman. With a sigh as the face of the Dragon crossed her mind Regina felt her heart lift in beat. Maleficent always had that affect on her, even when they had been at odds.
She had ended the relationship gently and with great regret, not yet ready at the time to open her heart to the romantic side of love. They had tried and she had failed. Now with Daniel's memories gone and grief finally dealt with in full of his passing she had closure she never thought she would get. Mal would sense the difference in her. The Dragon was perceptive that way. Still it was a door she had to open for her plan for Emma to work as it needed to. Mal would be protective of the little Savior, extra eyes would keep watch for any foul play from Gold least he get brass balls and try something.
Heading to the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face and let it run on her hands to ground a wandering mind. As she finished her night time routine and slipped beneath the sheets she hoped Emma would be receptive to the discussion they needed to have the next day. Drifting still further in the cool caress of darkness, Regina stared at the ceiling of the past behind closed lids…
::::::: Flashback - Over Two & a Half Years Ago… Before the Do Over Spell & the Accident ::::::::
Regina thumbed the empty crystal tumbler. Part of her wanted to throw it against the wall. Another part wanted to refill it a second time, but one was her limit, frustrated that neither was an option. Sighing at the responsible thought, she set the glass aside next to its half full mate on the coffee table of the Study. The woman on the other end of the couch stirred, long legs crossing, tip of an open toed pump brushed against closed red leather ones.
Braving what had to be said, or so she thought, Regina spoke amid the crackling logs in the hearth. "I need this to end."
Hooded sapphire eyes embraced the brewing Queen. "Need or want Regina?" Mal reached for her drink, crystal in hand as clear as her intent.
"Don't play word games with me." Wet peat smoked, heart hid from view.
Assuring spoke, a silk fan for flames trying to rise. "I'm doing nothing of the kind. You're scared and that's okay."
"I know what I am and that, dear, is not it."
Mal shook her head, setting down a glass in favor of leaning forward, elbows on knees as she studied the brunette. "You can fool yourself, but not me. I know you too well.
Agreeing with a nod. "That is exactly why we cannot do this."
"You mean why you can't do this."
Wincing whisper. "Stop it."
"I will not." Mal took up the Queen's hand. "I love you and I know you love me too, even if you can't say it yet. We've come further than hiding in the subject of a sentence. So be the subject of yours and tell me what you really need."
Full and cracking in chest. "I need time… And respect that you will let me go because I'm asking you to." Brown memorized blue within a blink, repetitious photograph of memory already housed in heart.
"There it is." Cupping a tan cheek as tears began to fall for both of them. "I'll always respect what you need Regina." With a final squeeze Mal stood, kissing the palm of a tan hand. "Even if it is not something you want." She left quietly.
Door clicking closed shifted a lock in mind as somber Queen returned eyes to the fire. Heavy lungs drew a shuddered breath. The room grew cold before she realized time had passed. Magic stoked the grate anew, but warmth was slow to return. Barely hearing a soft tapping on the Study door, she granted entrance without turning around. Spirit grave and with raw eyes she tried to smile as Emma carefully settled at the end of the couch, but failed.
Tender. "You okay Gina?"
"No." Chewing on truth both tough and brittle.
Emma set the notebook she'd spent the last few hours trying to write in aside. Pen rolled to the floor, splitting ears in the silence. She flinched. Rubbing hands on jeans, she didn't know what to say to soothe that broken voice. She suspected, but wasn't sure of the root for the exposed nerve in the room. "I saw Mal leave a few hours ago and I just wanted check in and go over some of the writing you asked me to do."
Dark mirrors turned to green moss, forcing reassurance. "Tomorrow, my girl, we will."
Emma shifted closer, reaching for a hand to give the comfort she was often given by the same one in her palm. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Tears slipped again, but were hastily brushed away. "There is nothing new to say. I'm not able to be an equal in a romantic relationship right now and my failing is not fair to Mal when she has been nothing but perfect to me and to you. I broke it off."
Brown found the fire as green did in further reflection. A habit Regina was comforted to see her girl was slowly starting to get used to. Mal accepted Emma's claim and the place their dynamic had within a royal heart, never infringing on their time or space when it was requested should Emma need certain attentions. She had hoped to be able to nurture the bud of love, but once again she let her own past losses get in the way.
It was complicated, but the liquid love story of the last five months had worked between Dragon and Queen. She had anticipated some kind of jealousy on Emma's part since their time had become shared with Mal, but there was not a view of the green eyed monster to be had. The Savior was supportive. Regina was the vertex in the V of the relationship. Emma and the Dragon shared a friendship and liked each other as such. It was unconventional, could have been messy, but wasn't in the least. Fluid and easy scared her, but not for all the reasons Mal suspected.
Regina had never been a runner, not like Emma, but tonight she had run from the arms that remained open. Kind, but firm she had tried to be. Mal accepted with grace and understanding she didn't feel she deserved. But Mal was Mal. Sighing again she rubbed circles on the pale hand in hers.
"I don't expect Mal will be anything less than kind going forward. She is not one to stew in heartache or loose ends." Wanting to assure Emma that the friendship shared with the Dragon would likely go unaffected.
"S'ok. I didn't think she'd be weird about it, just sad, like you." Curling up alongside the Queen, she rested her forehead on a shoulder. Quiet and full of the deference needed. "I'm so sorry Gina."
"Me too." Brown closed against the light. "Me too."
:::::::::::::::
A/N – Sooooo insight into Regina's complicated heart, past relationship and a hint of what's to come. More little Emma in next chapter. Thanks for reading!
Next time – Regina's spell for Emma is revealed and what it means going forward. A new direction for their life is discussed and a dinner invitation at the loft upon Snow's news is accepted.
